Chapter 12

       He Yunsheng came out of the shower, wearing pajamas, with his hair still wet. He put a towel on his shoulders, sat across Xi Feng, and asked, “Anything else?”

       Xi Feng scratched his head and said, “Are you okay?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him.

       Xi Feng said, “Last night I—” He swallowed half of his words as if it was inappropriate to say anything.

       He Yunsheng said in an unusually flat tone, “It’s not too good. To be honest, your technique is too rough, and I feel a little uncomfortable physically.”

       Xi Feng didn’t expect He Yunsheng to say something so blunt and that he would be evaluated to have a bad technique. He sat awkwardly and slowly reddened from the roots of his ears.

  At this point, He Yunsheng originally wanted to say something to mock Xi Feng, but suddenly he felt that it was unnecessary. He was originally not a mean person. Rather than fighting against others and causing a little bit of resentment, it is better to cut off all future contacts completely.

       So He Yunsheng said to Xi Feng, “Let’s just forget about what happened last night.”

       Xi Feng was taken aback when he heard this. This was originally what he wanted to say to He Yunsheng, but as he heard what He Yunsheng said repeatedly, he felt a little uncomfortable in his heart.

       He Yunsheng said, “You don’t have to dwell on it too much. It’s not like no one in this circle has ever done anything with straight men. Sexual orientation is not something that can be changed. You can live as you like in the future.”

       Xi Feng heard what He Yunsheng’s word meant, and it seemed that he was still comforting him.

       He Yunsheng picked up the corner of the towel and wiped the water on his cheeks, “I think you’d better cherish your girlfriend.”

       Xi Feng’s heart was in a mess as if it was churned and stirred into a lump of porridge. He couldn’t understand his emotions but felt that all the words He Yunsheng was right, and he couldn’t refute a word of it.

       In the end, he could only say, “I’m sorry.”

       He Yunsheng laughed when he heard the words, “Although I was drunk, it was something you were willing to do, what is there to be sorry for.”

       The words that should be said were all said, and Xi Feng could not say what he originally wanted. The two sat in silence for a while, and Xi Feng could only stand up to say goodbye.

       When he returned home that day, Xi Feng sat in front of the computer for a long time, searching for information about “bisexuality.”

       He was sure that he had always liked women, but he had a strong reaction to He Yunsheng. After thinking for a long time, he felt that he could only be bisexual.

       There were a lot of messy things found on the internet, but these didn’t help Xi Feng much. He still couldn’t sort out his feelings.

       After spending the weekend in confusion, Xi Feng went to work on Monday to find that Xu Qing was not paying attention to him.

  Xu Qing called Xi Feng on Saturday night. At that time, he didn’t hear it when he was in the bar. Later, he didn’t see the missed call until he left He Yunsheng’s place and went home, but he was in a bad mood and didn’t give Xu Qing a callback.

       When he went to work on Monday, Xi Feng was still thinking about what to do if he saw He Yunsheng. Later, when he was about to eat at noon, he called Xu Qing, and she did not answer. Only then did he realize that Xu Qing was angry with him.

       Xi Feng felt a little sorry for Xu Qing. Of course, it was not only because of the matter of not answering the phone. But more importantly, about the matter between him and He Yunsheng.

       Whether he is gay or bisexual, this redundant identity is difficult for Xi Feng to accept. The incident with He Yunsheng made him faintly scared, constantly feeling that he would not go down a road of no return.

       He thought for a long time and felt that He Yunsheng was actually correct. He shouldn’t care too much about this matter. His attention was affected unconsciously. If he didn’t know that He Yunsheng liked men from beginning to end, then he would definitely not have such thoughts. At this time, he should put his life back on track rather than drifting further and further away.

       For Xi Feng, Xu Qing is his right track.

       That afternoon, Xi Feng waited for Xu Qing at the entrance of the office building.

       Xu Qing came out with a female colleague from the department, but after seeing Xi Feng, she sped up to leave.

       Xi Feng stopped her and said sincerely, “Qingqing, I was wrong, don’t be angry with me.”

       The female colleague smiled and bumped Xu Qing’s arm and left by herself.

       Xi Feng and Xu Qing were left standing in place. Xu Qing didn’t hide her anger at first, but Xi Feng apologized to her over and over again. Later, Xu Qing also softened her attitude.

       That night, the two of them were shopping for dinner and watching a movie. In order to show his sincerity, Xi Feng bought Xu Qing a bag worth more than 3,000.

       By the time Xi Feng sent Xu Qing home in the evening, Xu Qing’s mood had obviously improved. The two of them stood downstairs in the community and kissed lightly. Then Xu Qing and Xi Feng waved goodbye.

       Looking at Xu Qing’s back, Xi Feng thought that this was the right way, and this was what his life should’ve been.

       They worked in the same building, but Xi Feng still didn’t see He Yunsheng for nearly a week. When they met again, it was already the second week of the staff meeting.

       He Yunsheng’s seat was in the front row. After Xi Feng sat down, he habitually glanced at He Yunsheng’s seat and saw that the seat was still empty. After a while, he heard He Yunsheng walking into the large conference room while talking quietly with others.

       He Yunsheng walked past Xi Feng’s seat and did not say hello to him.

       As soon as Xi Feng looked up and saw the smooth lines wrapped under He Yunsheng’s slim suit, his breath hitched. He stared ahead, and his mind wandered off, and when he came back to his senses, he found that he had written the word He in his notebook. He was so frightened that he quickly tore the page off.

       More than half a month later, Xu Qing’s parents came from outside their region to visit their daughter on a trip and proposed that they wanted to have a meal with Xi Feng.

       After Xu Qing told Xi Feng about their visit, Xi Feng immediately agreed and said that he would arrange the meal.

       This means to greet the parents officially.

       Every time Xi Feng talks with his mother on the phone, the other party will urge him to take his girlfriend home. Originally, Xi Feng had been a little hesitant, but after the incident with He Yunsheng, he suddenly wished to accelerate development with Xu Qing.

       He hopes that he can prove to himself that he is a real, normal man.

       This meal Xifeng was arranged in an elegant Chinese restaurant. He ordered wine and dishes in advance, hoping to give Xu Qing’s parents a good impression.

       Xu Qing is from an ordinary family. His parents don’t expect their daughter to find any rich people, so they wanted to find a young man who is suitable to his daughter and willing to make progress.

       Xi Feng is tall and handsome, and his appearance must’ve passed off. His attitude today is also serious and sincere. After a meal, Xu Qing’s parents would have been delighted, if not for that little accident that happened halfway through the meal.

       Halfway through the meal, Xi Feng saw the waiter lead He Yunsheng in from outside and took him to a four-person booth.

       He Yunsheng did not see Xi Feng, but Xi Feng noticed He Yunsheng at a glance.

       This is not too much of a coincidence because the first time Xi Feng came to this restaurant was when He Yunsheng invited him. Otherwise, Xi Feng would usually go to a cheaper or hot pot and skewers and other small restaurants.

       Xu Qing didn’t notice He Yunsheng either, and she was talking to Xi Feng. Xi Feng suddenly lost his voice, and she asked him strangely what had happened.

       “Nothing,” Xi Feng answered her. But he uncontrollably focuses his attention on He Yunsheng.

       He Yunsheng did not come out to eat alone. He waited for a few minutes, and a man came in from the outside, young and handsome, wearing a casual suit, and sitting opposite He Yunsheng with a smile on his face.

       Xi Feng could not judge the relationship between the two of them, but he could tell that they were not close with each other.

       “Xiao1a nickname given by Xu Qing’s father to Xi Feng and usually used to call people younger than the person Xi?”

       He suddenly recovered, only to realize that Xu Qing’s father had already called him a few times.

       “Ah? Uncle?”

       Xu Qing was a little upset, “Why are you distracted?”

       Xi Feng shook his head. His thoughts now are full of He Yunsheng, and in his heart he kept thinking, He Yunsheng is not here to have a blind date with this man, right?

       Maybe the man opposite him is also gay, and both of them are single. It is not impossible to have friends introduce each other to meet him.

       This thought entangled Xi Feng.

       In fact, even if He Yunsheng has a new boyfriend, it has nothing to do with Xi Feng. What he wants to do now is to concentrate on being with his girlfriend and forget those things related to He Yunsheng as soon as possible. He also felt that things were progressing very smoothly for more than half a month. He was almost about to succeed, but he happened to see He Yunsheng again on this occasion.

       And although He Yunsheng and the man came late, they ate very lightly. The two of them kept talking and laughing. Later, the man checked the time, he didn’t know if the man was in a hurry to leave, but they waved to the waiter to settle the bill.

       When they got up to leave, Xi Feng saw the man helping He Yunsheng pick up his jacket and put it on him, and he reached out his hand to touch his face, and then the two people walked out of the restaurant one after another.

       Xi Feng suddenly thought that the two of them might go to the bar for a drink after dinner, and then they would have sex at night as a matter of course. This idea made him stiffen up for a moment, and he felt that he should go and ask He Yunsheng clearly about it.

       So Xi Feng stood up.

       Xu Qing was already upset because he was distracted all night. At this time, she asked in a dreadful tone, “What are you doing?”

       Xi Feng just said, “Something happened!” Then he ran towards the outside.

       After chasing out the restaurant, Xi Feng only saw He Yunsheng’s car parked on the roadside was just being started up. He hurriedly ran over and stopped in front of the car that had just started.

       He Yunsheng stepped on the sudden brake, looked at the person in front of the car in surprise, then pressed down the car window and shouted angrily, “Are you crazy?”

       Xi Feng saw that He Yunsheng was the only one in the car. He was panting because he ran too fast and asked, “Where’s that man?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him inexplicably, “Which man?”

       Xi Feng said, “The one you just had dinner with, is he your boyfriend?”

       He Yunsheng’s anger has not dissipated, and now it has rushed up again, he said, “What does it have to do with you?”

       Xi Feng walked towards the driver’s seat and reached out to pull his car door, “Listen to me first.”

       He Yunsheng locked the door and said, “I don’t want to hear you say anything! Please leave now!”

       Xi Feng was afraid that he would close the car window as well and quickly reached out to hold it down, “I am concerned about you.”

       He Yunsheng felt that he had lived for more than thirty years, but it was the first time he had met such a disgusting and unreasonable person. He couldn’t help but yell, “Who are you? Who needs your concern? Get lost!”

       Xi Feng heard him yell at himself loudly and suddenly felt aggrieved, but he still insisted, “Let’s sit down and talk, okay?”

       He Yunsheng didn’t care if his hand was still stuck on the car window and insisted on closing the window upwards. He said, “No! I don’t have anything to say to you!”

       He felt that Xi Feng was making him so angry that it was laughable. He has been known for his good temper since he was a child, and he has never tried to yell at people in the street so angrily.

       At the last moment when the window was about to close, Xi Feng still retracted his hand. He tried to pull the door of He Yunsheng, but He Yunsheng stepped on the accelerator to drive the car out.

       “He Yunsheng!” Xi Feng chased for two steps.

       He Yunsheng looked at him from the rearview mirror. He was a bit afraid of being caught up by him, so he didn’t hold back and stepped on the gas pedal harder. As a result, when he turned his head, he found a large truck suddenly changing lanes. When he applied the brakes again, it was too late, and he crashed into it with a bang.

       Xi Feng saw this scene. His voice trembled with fear, “He Yunsheng!” He screamed and ran over.

       The front half of the car and the driver’s seat were a little deformed. Xi Feng ran over and pulled the driver’s door open. He saw the airbag bounce out, and He Yunsheng was stuck between the airbag and the seat.

       His breath stopped, and his voice was hoarse as he shouted, “He Yunsheng?”

       He Yunsheng slowly lifted his head to look at him and said, “I’m not dead, don’t worry.” He didn’t know if it was an illusion, but when he heard Xi Feng call his name just now, it was as if Xi Feng was so sad that he was about to cry.


Notes:
Hello, unrelated to the novel. I received some concerns about ads redirect to r18 sites
I’m currently working on it and already turn off all ads service I registered so far, if you still have the problem, please try to clear your cache&cookies. I will try my best to keep looking for all signs of ads redirect problem and solve it ><
Sorry for the inconvenience (ಥ﹏ಥ)

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3 Comments

  1. Meme

    Some ppl said that the MC was a scum but I can only feel sorry for him. Imagine yourself one way your whole life and then in a moment everything is turned upside down. Everything is scary for him in sure and when he decides to face the truth it’ll be painful but liberating, I can only hope

    1
    • Fleeting life

      He is more of an immature kid. Because even if he is confused, it is not a good choice to drag a girl just to prove himself.

      Any mature person will think through and even if it is painful, he would face with. It really does not justify his actions to find a girlfriend even after knowing that he does not like the. In short, just for his selfishness, he is using the girl.

      Then again, the author wanted to make the character look more realistic and at the make him face his own feelings.

      But Mc’s actions are really immoral in common sense too.

      1
      • Dana

        You are overestimating the maturity level of the average adult. I think most guys in denial about thier homose uality or bisexuality would end up marrying some girl. Think about how it was in the 1950s in the west. Everyone was closeted and married. Im not sure but it seems like China isnt so open to homosexuality as the west is yet.

        1

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