“What to talk about ah?” Gu Lizhou walked out unhurriedly.
Cao Zhiheng said, “Talking about what’s going on between you two ah. d daylight… wait no, sunset already, and you’re hugging and holding each other. Are you guys dating now?”
“Retarded. What, are you still living in a feudal society? Hugging once means we’re dating? Then if we kissed, would we need to buy a grave plot and be buried together?” Gu Lizhou fished a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, trying to cool himself down.
Though it wasn’t much use.
By the windowsill, there was a lighter and an ashtray, all prepared by Zhong Weishi. The little brat always hated it when he flicked ashes into the flowerpots, saying it affected the healthy growth of his cactus.
“This is all your fault, shaking the ash off all the time and ruining the nutrients. This cactus was a birthday gift from Da Fei. Qiangzi also has a pot, and his even bloomed.”
“The cactus refused to bloom because you pissed it off. You’re always sitting there, pulling at its spines for no reason. It probably figured that even if it grew little flowers, you’d just pluck them off too, so it gave up.”
“Anyway, you’re not allowed to flick ash in it anymore.”
“Alright, alright, alright, I won’t. Let’s see if it blooms.”
Magically, there really was a tiny flower bud, about the size of a fingernail, sprouting from one of the cactus pads.
Gu Lizhou couldn’t help but reach out and tap it with his fingertip. He had only ever seen pictures of flowering cacti before, in all sorts of vibrant colors. He wondered what color this one would turn out to be.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Cao Zhiheng’s voice snapped him back to reality. “What exactly are your feelings toward him ah?”
“What feelings? What could I possibly feel?” Gu Lizhou lit his cigarette, pretending to be clueless.
“Oh, no feelings, no feelings. Then why are you seducing the little guy?” Cao Zhiheng pointed toward the bedroom.
Gu Lizhou choked on his cigarette, slammed the door shut behind him, and growled, “What do you mean I seduced him ah! How did I seduce him?” Remembering the damp touch from earlier, he felt entirely justified. “Didn’t you see? He was the one who came onto me!”
Cao Zhiheng widened his eyes in mock surprise but quickly returned to normal. “All I saw was you pulling him into your arms, touching and rubbing him all over.”
Touching and rubbing.
Those words.
Were a little embarrassing.
Was it true?
Probably.
As for that kiss, he wasn’t all that sure himself.
“That hug, I can explain—it was just for comfort, nothing dirty like you’re thinking,” Gu Lizhou said, not wanting to be wrongfully accused of seducing an innocent young man.
“Comfort?” Cao Zhiheng laughed exaggeratedly as if he had just heard a great joke. He reached out, hooked an arm around Gu Lizhou’s neck, and yanked him into his chest, wrapping his legs around him like a tied-up crab. “Then you can comfort me too ah.”
Gu Lizhou jolted like he was electrocuted, struggling wildly before shoving him away and springing backward to put distance between them. “Aiyo, you’re sick! That’s disgusting!” As he said it, he nervously glanced toward the living room.
Cao Zhiheng pointed at the tip of his nose and said, “And you still say you have a clear conscience?”
Gu Lizhou stiffened his neck and snapped back, “How could you and him be the same! Look at that beer belly! Compare your body to his! Hugging you and hugging him—how could that possibly feel the same? Do you have any idea?”
“What’s wrong with my body? My Jingjing likes it when a guy’s a little chubby,” Cao Zhiheng said smugly, like he had figured everything out. “You like him but you’re just too embarrassed to admit it, right?”
Gu Lizhou scoffed, “Who doesn’t like him? You don’t like him?”
“Don’t play dumb. I mean that kind of like,” Cao Zhiheng narrowed his eyes, twisting his two index fingers together, “the L-o-v-e kind.”
Gu Lizhou picked up the cigarette perched on the edge of the ashtray, took a drag, and said nothing.
He admitted that Zhong Weishi was very special to him, way beyond the bounds of normal friendship. But it wasn’t as absurd as Cao Zhiheng made it sound—seducing or whatever—when he reached out earlier, he hadn’t been thinking anything at all.
When he looked at Zhong Weishi, it was like looking at a bamboo shoot trapped under a stone. Watching him struggle to break through the soil made him want to move that stone away.
He used to not dare think too deeply about it.
But just now, that vague, almost-kiss in the living room had completely thrown him into confusion.
No, it wasn’t just confusion… There was also a kind of excitement he couldn’t quite put into words.
The thrill of reaching for that dazzling light.
Cao Zhiheng, having been through it all before, could tell right away from Gu Lizhou’s radiant expression and lack of rebuttal that the guy had definitely stumbled headfirst into love.
“Of all people you could fall for, it just had to be him. You really are one of a kind,” Cao Zhiheng said.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“What’s wrong?” Cao Zhiheng looked utterly shocked. “He’s a guy ah! And you’re dating him.”
Gu Lizhou rolled his eyes. “So what if he’s a guy? You’re a guy too. What, you’re discriminating against him ah?”
Cao Zhiheng seized on the slip-up immediately, jabbing a finger at his nose. “And you still claim you don’t have feelings for him?!”
“My feelings for him right now are kind of vague. I’m not really sure…” Gu Lizhou was still speaking when the door opened from inside, and he instantly clamped up.
“What are you talking about?” Zhong Weishi stood there holding a pile of clean clothes, handing them over to Gu Lizhou. “Your arm’s not in great shape, so don’t bother with a shower. I’ve run a bath for you. Just be careful not to get your wound wet while you soak. Leave the dirty clothes; I’ll wash them for you.”
“So obedient,” Gu Lizhou said, ruffling his hair. After stepping inside, he turned his head and shot a smug look at Cao Zhiheng, looking every bit like a proud peac0ck flaunting his feathers.
Cao Zhiheng rolled his eyes.
Zhong Weishi went over to water the cactus a little. “Were you guys talking about me just now?”
Cao Zhiheng: “Yeah, we were saying how you’re such a little cutie, bound to become super popular someday.”
Zhong Weishi pursed his lips. “I’m a grown man, not some little cutie.”
Cao Zhiheng quickly dumped the blame on his buddy. “It was Old Gu who said you were cute.”
The so-called grown man lowered his head, biting the corner of his lip, and fiddled with a cactus pad with his fingertips. “…Did he really say that?”
“…” Great. Neither the old man nor the little one could be saved.
“I made it up.” Cao Zhiheng asked, “Did you eat dinner?”
Zhong Weishi shook his head.
Cao Zhiheng checked the time. “It’s getting late. Come eat at my place. I just went downstairs to buy some cooked vegetables, let’s eat some noodles.”
“Oh, then I’ll wait for him to finish washing…”
“Wait for what? You still planning to serve that old bastard with bathing and dressing too?” Cao Zhiheng yanked him over. “Come help me cook the noodles!”
Zhong Weishi had no choice but to nod.
“Weishi, my arm’s not moving too well. Come help me scrub my back,” the man inside called out.
Zhong Weishi’s brain spun; his very soul nearly scattered at that call. When his senses finally returned, his face lit up with joy, like a little sparrow chirping excitedly.
“Coming, coming!”
He had just taken two steps when he felt someone grab the collar of his shirt, yanking him backward.
“Go cook the noodles!” Cao Zhiheng, like Hades from hell, dragged both the old and young fools’ crooked thoughts back into place.
Once again, Zhong Weishi tasted the bitterness of disappointment, as bitter as the coffee he drank the day Gu Lizhou said he was leaving.
With his head hanging low, he shuffled over to Room 303.
Shortly after, the person in the bathroom splashed water and roared, “Scram, scram, scram, scram!—I can do it myself!”
Cao Zhiheng was mercilessly kicked out.
At the dining table, the black-faced Hades still sat firmly between the two.
Gu Lizhou and Zhong Weishi sat across from each other, occasionally glancing up to lock eyes.
Completely in sync, without a word needed.
Cao Zhiheng looked left, looked right, and even stretched his foot under the table to feel around. Thankfully, the two weren’t tangled together yet.
From this, he could basically judge: more than friends, not quite lovers yet.
After dinner, Zhong Weishi obediently washed the dishes. Gu Lizhou patted the sofa and said, “Come eat some fruit.”
Cao Zhiheng, who had been busy carving something with his head down, quickly squeezed in next to Gu Lizhou before the little sparrow could pounce over, stubbornly planting himself as the river in the center of the chessboard.
Gu Lizhou sat cross-legged on the sofa, lowering his head to send a WeChat message.
—Is it sweet?
Zhong Weishi’s phone chimed.
He glanced at the message, then stole a peek at Gu Lizhou.
—Sweet ah.
—Then eat more. Finish it all. Don’t leave him any.
Zhong Weishi immediately skewered several more chunks of watermelon, cheeks puffed out like a big hamster.
The TV was playing the currently hottest drama series, but none of the three scheming men had their minds on it.
Gu Lizhou quietly opened the camera app and started recording a hamster-eating broadcast.
Cao Zhiheng, meanwhile, was wondering what kind of scene it would be if these two actually got together in the future. Would they kiss? Just imagining it made his hair stand on end.
Zhong Weishi really wanted to ask Gu Lizhou where he was staying tonight, maybe even invite him back to Room 301, but after holding it in for a long while, he still couldn’t muster the courage to say it.
—What time are you going to the airport tomorrow? I’ll send you off.
—Whenever I wake up, not sure what time yet. No need to send me off, just pick me up when I come back. I’ll definitely come back.
Even though it was still a farewell, this time, it came with a definite promise.
Zhong Weishi’s heart bubbled over with joy. When he turned his head, he happened to meet Gu Lizhou’s smiling, crescent-shaped eyes.
—Maybe the most heart-fluttering moment in the world is when you look at that person and he just happens to be looking at you too.
Clutching his phone tightly, Zhong Weishi felt like he was really about to fall headfirst for this pretty boy…
As it turned out, the more thoughts he had, the smaller his courage became.
”Will you come to my place tonight?’ these few simple words got stuck in his throat for ages and still failed to make it out.
By 1 a.m., Zhong Weishi was sprawled out on his bed in a 大 shape staring blankly at the ceiling.
He pressed his lips together, still savoring the touch of someone’s skin, a little reluctant to let it go.
Before meeting Gu Lizhou, he had never questioned his own orientation. It wasn’t like he hadn’t watched adult films, but now, whenever the tiniest wicked thought crept in, the first image to pop into his head was Gu Lizhou’s face.
After several rounds of cold showers to forcibly extinguish his lust, he was on the brink of a mental breakdown.
In the past twenty-plus years, he had never felt this way about anyone. Gu Lizhou was like a little ghost lingering around him—he thought of him when walking, thought of him when eating, thought of him when showering. Every minute, every second, he thought of him…
Every move, every frown, every smile of the old man tugged at his emotions.
Yet he couldn’t figure out whether this man had any hidden feelings in his heart.
He couldn’t help but get close, yet he feared losing him.
Melancholy. Insomnia.
He was only in his twenties and already suffering from insomnia!
How to effectively improve insomnia troubles?
When he posted this on his Moments, it happened to be 1:30 a.m. Qiangzi, who was pulling an all-nighter at the internet café, was the first to comment.
—Rub one out to burn some energy. Want a link? I can send it to your Baidu Cloud.
—Rub your head!
—Ungrateful. So many people ask me for it, and I’m not even willing to share.
Gu Lizhou saw the post and sent a voice message: “Can’t sleep? Want to hear a story?”
Zhong Weishi pedaled an imaginary bicycle twice in the air with his legs and said in a low voice, “Yeah, what story?”
As Gu Lizhou dialed his number, he also flipped open a book by his bedside. “How about a story about The Little Prince?”
“Sure.”
In his entire life, Zhong Weishi had only listened to two people tell him stories. One was Grandma Zhao, who took care of him when he was little. To coax him to sleep, she told tales of the Big Bad Wolf eating the Little White Rabbit, which ended up scaring him into worrying that if he didn’t sleep, the Big Bad Wolf would come and eat him.
The other was Gu Lizhou.
“The Little Prince lived on a planet called B-612. He was the only resident of that planet…”
Gu Lizhou’s voice was low, without much fluctuation while telling the story, but in the stillness of the night, transmitted wirelessly, it felt especially focused and gentle.
Even separated by several walls, it felt as if the man was lying right beside him. With his eyes closed, Zhong Weishi could easily picture him speaking with his eyes lowered, maybe even wearing glasses.
He liked how Gu Lizhou looked wearing glasses, like a knowledgeable scholar. He had always liked cultured, well-read people.
He sank deep into it, as if immersed in a vast ocean, his whole body softened by it.
Not long after, Gu Lizhou heard the sound of even, lingering breathing from the other end.
The next day.
Gu Lizhou flew back to B City. Zhong Weishi’s restless little heart finally calmed down, and he shifted his focus back to work.
He didn’t get that second male lead role from before, but a senior member of a drama troupe noticed him and asked if he was interested in learning more.
Zhong Weishi had only ever seen drama performances on TV, no post-production, no dubbing. The live stage was a true test of an actor’s line delivery and acting skills. Although acting in a play didn’t pay much, the troupe was full of veteran artists, and he could learn a lot from them.
Zhong Weishi didn’t think too much and applied to join.
There were quite a few young people around his age in the drama troupe, some still studying at the Academy of Drama, who came to learn from the seniors and hone their craft, preparing to enter the entertainment industry for real.
Transitioning from the free life of a temp actor to the structured stage of a drama troupe took some adjustment, and he had to start learning many things from scratch. Still, at least now he had a basic salary, and there would be additional performance fees if he participated in shows.
As long as there was money to earn and food to eat, what couldn’t he adapt to?
It was inevitable for newcomers in a new environment to take on more tasks. He was as busy as a little bee every day, barely even finding time to check his phone. Every night when he got home, his heart felt empty.
He couldn’t help but think of Gu Lizhou—his smiling, laughing face. Sometimes, he would even deliberately wander to the room where Gu Lizhou had stayed, looking for traces he had left behind.
The bench they had sat on together on the balcony, the starry sky they had gazed at together, the big bed they had wrestled on, the pillow they fought over, and the lingering scent of the shampoo…
All those memories turned into longing, almost filling his entire heart.
He was practically going crazy, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Finally, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. On a dark, windy night, he sent Gu Lizhou a message.
—What are you doing?
Gu Lizhou’s heart leapt with joy. After almost a month, this little brat finally thought of him.
—What, missing Dad?
Zhong Weishi’s eyes widened, his palms sweating.
So direct?
But his reply was a bit more roundabout.
—Mm, saw the lighter on the balcony and suddenly thought of you hahahahahahaha…
—Uncle Cao keeps mentioning you in front of me every day. He even got a cat.
—The cactus on the balcony even bloomed hahahahahaha! When are you coming back?
He was practically trying to cover it up.
Gu Lizhou couldn’t help but laugh.
Zhong Weishi clutched his phone, waiting for a reply. No matter how he looked at it, he felt that while his replies sounded casual and natural, he worried that Gu Lizhou might get distracted by the wrong details. Hopefully he wouldn’t ask for a photo of the cactus ah, the flower had already wilted a few days ago.
The other side didn’t reply for a long time. Zhong Weishi frowned and clicked his tongue.
This conversation felt completely half-hearted.
While he got up to use the bathroom, the reply finally came.
—I miss you too
—We.
—I’ll be back after the New Year.
Zhong Weishi widened his eyes and froze for 0.1 seconds.
His brain automatically blocked out the second message. Hugging his phone, he kicked wildly into the air.
Ah, ah, ah, ah!——
He misses me!
He! Misses! Me! Too!
The tranquil moonlight outside the window gave rise to even more delicate and genuine emotions.
Just those four simple words made Zhong Weishi increasingly certain of the feelings in his heart.
At twenty-two years old, he was still young and naïve, his heart as clean as a blank sheet of paper. He had never tasted the sweetness of love, nor had anyone taught him to be cautious when choosing someone to love.
He longed for the feeling of being cherished, yearned for a plain and simple happiness. Just a little bit of tenderness was enough to completely melt his heart.
Torn between fear of gaining and losing, yet unable to suppress the restless beast inside him.
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