Category: You Don’t Know Too Much

11

 

Lu Changze became thinner because of his stomach cancer. He couldn’t eat, and vomited after eating. He simply stopped eating and lived on intravenous nutrition every day.

 

One can no longer see flesh one him. Lu Changze is now living in a single ward, but he can still see the road from the window. Gu Xiu arranged it for him.

 

From that day on, Gu Xiu came here often, and every time he came, he would bring food for Lu Changze. Unfortunately, Lu Changze can’t eat anymore. It doesn’t feel good to wait to die.

 

Especially when the person is very weak, Lu Changze’s waking time is gradually decreasing every day, and he is getting quieter and quieter. Sometimes he would sleep for a day and only utter one or two words.

 

When one is awake, one will always spend their waking hours thinking about some past things. This was especially true when one is dying.

 

In the third year of high school, Lu Changze liked men, and there was no one in school who did not know about his crush for Gu Xiu.

 

There were only two people who dared to talk to him and approach him proactively. One was Fang Ming and the other was Gu Xiu. Gu Xiu and Fang Ming were good brothers.

 

Fang Ming had a good temper and treated his cousin Lu Changze well. Gu Xiu always felt that Lu Changze was holding Fang Ming back, not to mention that this disgusting man liked him

 

Every time Gu Xiu saw Lu Changze, he would sneer and become sarcastic. In the second semester of his third year of high school, Lu Changze knew about the Fang family’s financial situation and that they can only support one person to go  to college. Lu Changze’s liking for men has already made Fang’s parents feel uncomfortable. Lu Changze is also very self-aware, so starting from the third year of high school, he stopped studying hard. He knew that the place in this university could only be reserved for Fang Ming.

 

At that time, he was the only one who felt as if he was being cut by a knife. In fact, he liked reading very much. He liked all kinds of books. How much Lu Changze envied others who could go to college and how much he envied others who could study peacefully, the pain in his heart, the more it hurts, the more it didn’t matter.

 

After the college entrance examination, Gu Xiu and Fang Ming entered the same university with different majors, while Lu Changze found a part-time job in a restaurant near the university.

 

The students had to live on campus and Gu Xiu was not used to eating in the school cafeteria. After learning about it from Fang Ming, Lu Changze sacrificed his rest and used his salary to buy meals every day.

 

Sometimes, he would take a detour to buy Gu Xiu’s favorite food and send it to his dormitory.

Gradually, Gu Xia also ate the meals brought by Lu Changze. Lu Changze served as Gu Xiu’s delivery boy and meal tickets for a year, rain or shine.

 

When he was a sophomore, Gu Xiu and Fang Ming started a business. Gu Xiu was a man with a good head on his shoulders and he had money at home, so he went into real estate.

 

Afterwards, the two made some appearances. After Lu Changze pestered Fang Ming so he could work together, Gu Xiu disagreed a lot and Fang Ming had no choice but to never bring it up again. However, Lu Changze had a thick skin, so gradually he got into the bottom layer. 

 

In fact, Lu Changze was not stupid, so Gu Xiu eventually just let him be.

 

Lu Changze entered Huihua founded by the two of them, but only Lu Changze himself knew how hard he worked in Huihua.

 

How many nights he has stayed up just because this company belonged to Gu Xiu and Fang Ming.

 

But Lu Changze is Lu Changze after all, what he lacked most when he was a child was money, so when he grew up, what he couldn’t let go of was money. He was a philistine and was greedy so he cared about everything. It was not like he never had enough to eat, but he has never felt like he would be able to afford the luxuries he wanted, even if they were a pair of sneakers.

 

People with slightly more expensive sneakers will never realize the importance of money to Lu Changze. He never went out with a lot of money.

 

He probably didn’t want to buy clothes even if he had money. Even if he does, he will buy the cheapest clothes because he can’t bear it.

 

But this attitude of his was very despised, especially by Gu Xiu.

 

Lu Changze woke up faintly. Seeing that Gu Xiu had arrived, sitting on the sofa beside the hospital bed, he wondered what he was thinking. Seeing Lu Changze wake up, he got up and walked over, “Are you awake?” 

 

Then, there was nothing else, Gu Xiu didn’t know what to say. Although he came often, the two of them rarely said a word.

 

Lu Changze slowly propped himself up and sat up. Gu Xiu put a pillow behind him and Lu Changze said thank you softly before stretching out his hand

 

Opening the novel on the side and continuing to read, Gu Xiu felt a little uncomfortable seeing the leisurely and quiet person in front of him. It was difficult to distinguish between the person in front of him and the one in his memory.

 

The shameless Lu Changze.

 

“Where did the book come from?”

 

Lu Changze looked up at him, “I bought it myself.” Lu Changze pointed to the mobile phone on the table, “I asked the nurse to help me pick up the courier.”

 

Gu Xiu frowned, “You should be less exposed to radiation…”

 

Lu Changze smiled, “Why did I fall in love with you back then?”

 

Gu Xiu was annoyed for a while, “What’s the use of talking about it now? Whether you like me or not, soon you will…”

 

At this point, Gu Xiu suddenly couldn’t continue.

 

Lu Changze smiled indifferently, lowered his head and continued to read, “Gu Xiu, don’t come here from tomorrow on.”

 

“Lu Changze, I told you not to think of yourself so highly. Who cares if I come or not?” Gu Xiu was angry.

 

“I beg you,” Lu Changze said, “I don’t want to see you when I’m about to die.”

 

Gu Xiu slammed the door and left.

 

The moment the door closed, Lu Changze rolled on the bed in pain.

 

Yesterday, Lu Changze saw with his own eyes a patient who had the same disease as him passing away. When that person left, he was in pain…and in a shameful state.

 

At the very least, Lu Changze didn’t want Gu Xiu to see him haggardly again. Once at the age of twelve was enough.

 

12

 

Gu Xiu never came again and Lu Changze resumed his days in the hospital alone but he could no longer go to the garden. He couldn’t walk anymore.

 

Lu Changze’s exhausted body is struggling to pick up a book and his day-to-day life has become a burden for Lu Changze’s exhausted body. He is very tired.

 

He is quiet, even if the pain is so painful that his eyes are out of focus, it is still very quiet. So quiet that he doesn’t seem to be alive.

 

The day Lu Changze passed, it was sunny. When Gu Xiu entered, he still had the unfinished book in his hand. Gu Xiu stood beside the bed for a long time.

 

For a long time, he didn’t know what he was thinking with his downcast eyes and he didn’t know that the patient in this room had passed until the doctor who made the rounds entered.

 

After a busy schedule, Gu Xiu arranged a single room for Lu Changze. He didn’t care about anything else until today.

 

He understood that before Lu Changze was hospitalized, he had already arranged everything that was to come after his passing. He didn’t know that person quietly arranged everything for himself without telling everyone.

 

Gu Xiu stood in front of Lu Changze’s tombstone and looked at the photo of the person on the tombstone quietly. The person in the photo smiled very happily. It was pure happiness. Gu Xiu only saw that kind of smile once and it was in the waiting hall of the hospital. That was the first time he saw that smile in the hospital.

 

God…The photo must’ve been taken by the hospital for his tomb, but the person in the photo was still smiling so happily. Gu Xiu doesn’t know why death is so important to Lu Changze. Was this a happy thing?

 

Lu Changze even bought his own grave before he was hospitalized. Gu Xiu felt as if he had never understood Lu Changze before. 

 

He hasn’t been to the hospital since Lu Changze told him not to come here again, but it was all a lie to him. He still went to the hospital every day but he no longer appeared in front of Lu Changze. Those few days, Lu Changze was as quiet as usual, even when he passed, it was silent.

 

Gu Xiu suddenly felt that Lu Changze was actually such a quiet person that people would easily forget.

 

13 

 

Closing: There’s So Much You Don’t Know

 

Gu Xiu remembered that Lu Changze told him that there were too many things he didn’t know. After Lu Changze passed away, Gu Xiu was always thinking about this problem.

 

Sometimes it hurts to think about it, so he doesn’t want to continue thinking about it. He is a person of action, so instead of thinking about it, he wants to do something. He wants to understand what he is doing.

 

In the end, he didn’t know what he was doing.

 

Gu Xiu has been to the place where Lu Changze lived before. The place is about to be demolished and most of the people have been evacuated. Gu Xiu entered the place where Lu Changze lived before.

 

The small house was clean except for some dust. When he opened the closet, none of Lu Changze’s clothes were there. Gu Xiu could guess that these things have been kept away by Lu Changze a long time ago. Maybe it was dealt with in a hurry, but Gu Xiu still found something.

 

He found books at the foot of the bed, some unfinished sketches and a few pencils.

 

Gu Xiu never knew that Lu Changze could draw, nor did he know that he could draw very well. At least, he drew himself very well.

 

Looking over the painting, he could feel the tenderness in the eyes of the person who held the pencil. Gu Xiu put the sketch away carefully.

 

After going to the places where Lu Changze stayed before, Gu Xiu felt that maybe he had never known Lu Changze before.

 

Among Huihua’s founding employees, Lu Changze will always be the best one and he will always be the most serious one in doing things. After going through Lu Changze’s previous rookie notebooks, he found that his notes were always clear and serious. His handwriting was always clean and neat. Even if it were one of his unreasonable requests in order to make trouble for him.

 

It’s really distressing. If he hadn’t asked himself, Gu Xiu probably wouldn’t have known that Lu Changze had been away for five years, not two. If he did not come here in person, Gu Xiu would never know that the university was so far away from his favorite restaurant, let alone the fact that he was working part-time at the time.

 

Lu Changze, who brought food for him, walked a long way for him. If he hadn’t heard it with his own ears, Gu Xiu would never have known that Lu Changze paid for this with his own money and to save money, he bought rice and ate steamed buns and instant noodles all day long. 

 

He talked to his manager, the manager who Lu Changze once worked for and he said that he was a quiet and diligent child.

 

If Lu Changze didn’t say anything, Gu Xiu would’ve never known that he doesn’t like coffee. Now, Gu Xiu had no chance to know what Lu Changze liked to drink.

 

A few years had passed since Gu Xiu went to see Lu Changze again. Except for him, no one knew that Lu Changze had passed.

 

Gu Xiu stubbornly kept silent, as if stubbornly keeping a secret about Lu Changze that only he knew.

 

Gu Xiu reached out and lightly touched the cheek of the person in the photo on the tombstone.

 

“I didn’t know you liked school.”

 

“I didn’t know you liked reading.”

 

“I didn’t know you could draw.”

 

“I didn’t know you were a good employee.”

 

“I didn’t know that the restaurant was that far away.”

 

“I didn’t know you didn’t like coffee.”

 

“I don’t know what you like to drink.”

 

“But you know what I like.”

 

“You’re right, I don’t know too much.”

 

“Lu Changze, I… miss you a lot.”

 

The voice was a little choked, but no one heard it.

 

---

T/N: Happy Bad End Month!

Chapter two

 

8

 

Lu Changze sat with his hands in his pockets on the chair. He was in the corridor of the hospital waiting for the test report. Lu Changze’s stomach hurt so badly that no matter how much he tried to bear it, he couldn’t stand it.

 

He was in pain 24 hours a day. The nurse holding a clipboard and called Lu Changze’s name.

 

It was raining when he left the hospital. The umbrella-less Lu Changze folded the laboratory results paper into a square and put it in the pocket of his cotton coat.

 

He ran to the station in the rain and when he got back to the entrance of his shop, he saw Gu Xiu’s car parked there. Gu Xiu clapped in his direction impatiently.

 

“Get in the car.” Lu Changze stood under the eaves of the small shop and looked at the man who cracked open half the car window through the rain.

 

His eyes darkened and he finally got into the car.

 

The car didn’t leave Xuan Qi immediately. Gu Xiu took him to the best coffee shop in Xuan Qi and the two sat facing each other. Lu Changze was still wet

 

He sat down on the fabric sofa, and was dizzy for a while. The waiters around frowned, but with Gu Xiu there, no one dared to come up and say a word.

 

Gu Xiu ordered two cups of black coffee.

 

“Fang Ming came to look for you?” Gu Xiu leaned on the sofa, crossed his legs and looked at the person opposite him coldly. Lu Changze nodded after listening.

 

Gu Xiu squinted his eyes and looked at Lu Changze very unhappily. It’s been five years since he saw him. This kid was getting more and more arrogant.

 

This wasn’t the attitude that a stain like him should have.

 

“Hmm, even he can’t convince you? Lu Changze, don’t think so highly of yourself. Everyone knows what kind of person you are.”

 

Lu Changze stared at the coffee in front of him in a daze and touched the test results he just received in the morning with his hand in his pocket repeatedly.

 

What was going on? An interrogation or a joint trial? What a fvcking nasty life.

 

“Gu Xiu, I really fvcking hate drinking coffee. Especially black coffee.” Lu Changze leaned his head back and looked at him with a blank expression.

 

Gu Xiu was taken aback by him. He was called Handsome Gu when he was in school, and later Boss Gu when he worked. Lu Changze never dared to call Gu Xiu by his name.

 

Gu Xiu has seen all kinds of cheap expressions on his face: fawning, wretched, philistine, greedy and etc. For so many years, Gu Xiu had never seen Lu Changze with no expression on his face.

 

“Lu Changze, what tricks are you playing? Didn’t you like to drink this thing the most before? You are obviously a chicken, but you always think of yourself as a phoenix,” Gu Xiu sneered and said, “Fang Ming just came back. Stop being a retard in front of him and go back quickly if you have to go back.”

 

“I don’t like to drink it. I only forced myself to drink it because I thought you liked it. Gu Xiu, I know whether I am a demon or not, there is no need for you to worry.”

 

Lu Changze still looked at Gu Xiu expressionlessly, “Don’t keep trying to guess what I want from you or Fang Ming. Let me explain it to you, Gu Xiu. I don’t care about anything.”

 

After Lu Changze finished speaking, he stood up slowly, turned around and left. Gu Xiu was stunned. It took a while before he turned his head and looked through the glass window of the coffee shop.

 

He watched Lu Changze’s back as he left in the rain.

 

9

 

When the sky cleared, Lu Changze disposed of all the things in his shop, leaving only an empty room. He moved a small chair to sit down.

 

He looked up at the door and basked in the sun. The sun in winter is warm, especially after the weather has gradually warmed up in recent days, it is more comfortable to bask in it.

 

It wasn’t until Lu Changze’s face was covered by a shadow when he lazily opened his eyes.

 

“I guess it’s time for you to come too.” Lu Changze smiled and turned his stiff neck, “Boss Qi, you’re here too?”

 

Qi Mingyu smiled politely, “You can just call me Mingyu. Boss Qi sounds too old.” 

 

Lu Changze said with a playful smile, “Fang Ming is really sensible.”

Fang Ming didn’t speak, walked into the small shop and took a look, “Brother, are you going back?” 

 

He looked at Lu Changze carefully again, “You look thinner compared to last time.”

 

Lu Changze didn’t answer Fang Ming’s words. He only followed him in, took out a file bag and handed it to Fang Ming, “I bought a small apartment here but it’s just a façade. The area is good for real estate. We are relatives. If you give me a hand, I will pay more for the demolition.”

 

“Brother, what do you mean?” Fang Ming was puzzled.

 

“Actually, I don’t plan to stay here for a long time even if it doesn’t need to be demolished. Didn’t I tell you last time that I don’t want to stay after staying for a long time? I want to travel but money has been a little tight recently. If you really think of me as your brother, then hurry up and do this for me, the sooner the better. “

 

Although Fang Ming didn’t quite agree, seeing Lu Changze’s serious expression, he nodded in agreement.

 

On the day when he received the money, Lu Changze was very happy with a big smile on his face. Fang Ming hadn’t seen Lu Changze smile like this for a long time, “You’re this happy?”

 

Lu Changze took the card and put it in his pocket, “You don’t understand. How can you not be happy when your new life begins.” After speaking, he left Fang Ming’s office and went downstairs where he met Qi Mingyu who came to find Fang Ming. Qi Mingyu stopped Lu Changze and looked at him seriously, “Lu Changze, you can come to find Fang Ming if you have any problems in the future.”

 

Lu Changze looked at Qi Mingyu’s sincerity and shook his head, “Thank you, but I won’t have another chance in the future. You and Fang Ming have a good time, you are not young anymore. After all, it was not easy being together at the beginning.”

 

Qi Mingyu nodded and entered the elevator.

 

Lu Changze went to the bank to withdraw all the money and put it into another card. He then went home and cleaned up everything that should be done at home.

 

Everything that should be burned was burned. He then left with a small bag.

 

10

 

It was a week after Gu Xiu found out that Lu Changze had disappeared again. He went to ask Fang Ming and found out that Lu Changze was going on a trip.

 

Gu Xiu felt stuck as if he couldn’t catch his breath. It was so uncomfortable. He thought that the next time he saw Lu Changze again, he would make fun of him.

 

After a while, this person who has been sticking to his ass for decades really decided to treat him like an onion.

 

It was announced that there was a problem with the land, so Gu Xiu and Fang Ming worked day and night for two whole weeks before finally resolving it.

 

He is not young anymore and he’ll catch a cold if he works too hard. Luckily, Fang Ming has someone to take care of him. Gu Xiu hasn’t been in any serious relationships in the past few years except messing around with many paid people, so he had to go to the hospital for medicine and IV drips when he was sick.

 

Gu Xiu probably didn’t expect that he would see Lu Changze here. Gu Xiu was not in a hurry to go back after getting an IV drip in the hospital. Although he was sick, his body is in good health, so after two days of rest, it will basically recover. The environment in Pingzhou is good, and the air in the small garden of the city hospital is also good. Gu Xiu wandered around.

 

After taking two steps, he saw Lu Changze. If it wasn’t for that face that Gu Xiu had known since he was ten years old, Gu Xiu would almost not have recognized it. Lu Changze was wearing a hospital gown. The person was already thin and out of shape, sitting on the bench and basking in the sun with his eyes squinted. Gu Xiu walked two steps closer as Lu Changze sat quietly on the chair.

 

On the table, he slightly raised his head. It was the first time Gu Xiu saw that appearance.

Lu Changze took off his glasses. Even if he couldn’t see clearly without glasses, Gu Xiu’s figure probably would never be forgotten by Lu Changze in his life.

 

The two looked at each other quietly at a distance of several meters. After a while, Lu Changze sighed slightly and got up before walking slowly to the ward.

 

Gu Xiu followed behind him and the two went back to Lu Changze’s ward with a distance between them. There were three beds in the ward, but the sun is good today so the other patients seemed to have gone out to bask in the sun and there were only Gu Xiu and Lu Changze in the ward at the moment.

 

Lu Changze’s ward was close to the window and he could see the busy traffic outside the hospital while sitting by the bed. After returning to the ward, Lu Changze sat by the bed and watched the view outside the window. Gu Xiu put his hands in his pockets and looked at him, “Lu Changze, you are quite capable. Didn’t you go on a trip? Why did you come to the hospital? Are you about to die?”

 

Lu Changze didn’t speak until Gu Xiu got impatient waiting. Lu Changze didn’t look at him, his eyes were still staring out of the window and as he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

 

Dumbly he said: “Well, soon, next month.”

 

Gu Xiu stood still for a while before he snapped out of it. He walked to Lu Changze’s hospital bed and opened his case file.

 

Advanced gastric cancer.

 

For a moment, Gu Xiu didn’t know what to say and he didn’t know what to say at this time.

When he came back to his senses, Gu Xiu hung the file back on Lu Changze’s bed and left.

 

Lu Changze felt sleepy after watching the view for a while and went to bed.

 

When Gu Xiu came back, Lu Changze had fallen asleep. He was really thin. In just a few days, he became skin and bones. Gu Xiu stood by the bed thinking. Gu Xiu really couldn’t accept this. He couldn’t accept the news that Lu Changze is dying. Why? He didn’t know. He just couldn’t accept it, even if it was just that mangy dog that had haunted him for more than twenty years.

 

Lu Changze was asleep but when he opened his eyes, it was strange that Gu Xiu hadn’t left yet. Despite that, it didn’t matter to Lu Changze whether he was there or not.

 

Who was there was no longer important to Lu Changze. The rest of his days will just be waiting for death quietly. It was dark and the patients around were sleeping as well.

 

Gu Xiu sat quietly by the bed and looked at him. Seeing that he had something to say, Lu Changze lifted the quilt, got up and left the ward.

 

He understood Gu Xiu. Lu Changze knew what Gu Xiu was going to do by looking at Gu Xiu’s eyes.

 

Gu Xiu followed behind Lu Changze and Lu Changze walked quietly to the waiting hall of the hospital. Lu Changze knew Gu Xiu well and he knew that he had a bad temper.

 

Choosing a place with a lot of people, Lu Changze no longer wanted to have any disputes with him, nor did he want to hear any ridicule or sarcasm from him. He went to find a chair to sit on.

 

When they both settled down, Gu Xiu sat beside him. The two of them didn’t talk for a long time. It was very strange. It was the first time for them to sit so quietly for a long time.

 

After a long time, Gu Xiu said, “When did you find out?”

 

“The day you bought me that coffee.”

 

After speaking, he fell into silence again. Lu Changze looked at the people coming and going in the hospital. Some were happy and some were sad.

 

A building full of different life experiences depending on the person.

 

“I didn’t know.” Gu Xiu said, “You should have mentioned this earlier.”

 

“There are too many things you don’t know.” Lu Changze said slowly.

 

“I asked the doctor in the afternoon, it is not impossible to operate on it…”

 

Lu Changze turned his head slightly to look at Gu Xiu, a little surprised. He didn’t expect him to ask the doctor. Then he felt relieved. Yes, at first he liked his appearance, but the man next to him was actually a good person, even if he didn’t understand himself well.

 

“I don’t want to do it.”

 

“Lu Changze, what do you mean?!” Gu Xiu raised his voice, “Could it be that you really have lived long enough? Don’t be shameless.”

 

“Gu Xiu…” Lu Changze looked at him with a smile on the corner of his mouth, “I’m shameless, shouldn’t you have known by now?”

 

It was the first time that Gu Xiu was choked up by Lu Changze, but Lu Changze was happy to see his appearance. He just laughed happily, and just kept laughing soundlessly.

 

Gu Xiu was stunned. It was the first time he saw Lu Changze smiling like a simple child. A man in his forties smiled like a child.

 

Gu Xiu also laughed, the corners of his mouth curled up, even though he didn’t notice it.

---

T/N: Happy Bad End Month!

5

 

Lu Changze stayed at home for a few days. When he opened the refrigerator, he found that there was nothing left to eat at home. As such, he went out and opened his shop and made a packet of instant noodles.

 

He sat down and ate at the cashier. After that, he was shrouded by a person’s shadow just after eating half of it. Lu Changze swallowed the instant noodles in his mouth and looked up. Gu Xiu stood in front of the cashier. He had one hand inserted obliquely into the pocket of his hand-tailored suit trousers while his other hand was naturally hanging by his side. Lu Changze’s mouth was covered with the inferior oil of instant noodles.

 

Gu Xiu frowned in disgust, “Lu Changze, come out.” 

 

After speaking, Gu Xiu turned around, went out the door, lit a cigarette and waited.

 

Lu Changze put down the instant noodles and adjusted his glasses. Seeing Gu Xiu, who was standing by the door and had no intention of leaving, he opened a bottle of mineral water and took a few sips.

 

After wiping his mouth twice with his hand, he got up and went out. Gu Xiu looked back and saw Lu Changze follow him out. He then opened the car door and got in his car. Lu Changze followed behind him slightly.

 

Gu Xia sighed as Lu Changze pulled down the shutters and locked his shop. Gu Xiu in the car waited impatiently and honked the horn before opening the passenger’s door.

 

Gu Xiu looked through the car window at the middle-aged man who had his head down as he locked the door.

 

He was now flat and expressionless, which is not right. Gu Xiu impatiently pressed on the horn with his hand holding a cigarette, at least his shy, shrinking look did not change.

 

After Lu Changze got into the car, the two of them didn’t speak. Gu Xiu didn’t even bother to give Lu Changze a look.

 

Lu Changze didn’t ask him where he was taking him, but quietly looked at the receding buildings outside the car. Gu Xiu snuffed out the cigarette on his fingertips as the car reached the expressway, Lu Changze looked at the sign and headed towards Pingzhou.

 

“Fang Ming was still looking for you a few days ago and you have been living here for the past two years? Why didn’t you tell Fang Ming?” Gu Xiu’s voice had always been monotone.

 

Lu Changze turned his head and looked at the man sitting beside him. Gu Xiu was the same age as himself, forty-two years old. Besides being more mature and manly, there is no change from before. Lu Changze adjusted his glasses. This man, the man he has loved for more than 20 years, seems to have stayed the same, except in age and appearance. Everything else is still the same as before.

 

“Fang Ming is busy so I didn’t say anything.” After Lu Changze finished speaking, he didn’t speak anymore and the car fell into silence again. The highway from Xuan Qi to Pingzhou was very short. After driving into the urban area for a long time, Gu Xiu drove the car to an office building and stopped.

 

“Get out.”

 

Lu Changze followed Gu Xiu out of the car and looked up at the sign on the top of the office building, Huihua Real Estate.

 

Lu Changze followed Gu Xiu into his office on the top floor. Gu Xiu sat down on the sofa and threw a document over. Lu Changze opened it.

 

He looked at it carefully.

 

“The area of Huihua where you live now is going to be converted into a high-end villa area. The scenery and environment there is good. I inspected it two years ago and it’s going to be actioned on. After that, the profits will definitely not be small but the area is too big and the staff are not familiar with it. You have lived there for a long time, so the job will be entrusted to you.

Report to the Human Resources Office in a bit.” Gu Xiu gave the order expressionlessly.

Lu Changze read the contents of the document. It contained a basic compensation agreement. He put the document gently on the desk after reading it, “Boss Gu, I resigned five years ago. I am no longer an employee of Huihua. I am afraid… you should leave this job to others.”

 

After speaking, Lu Changze looked at Gu Xiu nervously and instinctively became afraid. He was afraid that Gu Xiu would be angry, that Gu Xiu would be dissatisfied, and that Gu Xiu would dislike his expression.

 

He has always been afraid, even after five years.

 

“Five years?” Gu Xiu asked suspiciously, “Didn’t you suddenly disappear two years ago?”

 

Lu Changze was taken aback for a moment, feeling a sense of sadness in his heart.

 

“Boss Gu has been too busy. It’s normal for an ordinary employee like me to leave.” Lu Changze laughed with a flattering expression on his face like a natural, “I have resigned for five years, Mr. Gu. I really can’t do this job.”

 

Gu Xiu looked at Lu Changze with disdain, “You take over first and next month Fang Ming will finish the work at hand and come to take over and lay a solid foundation. I need a trustworthy person. You are Fang Ming’s brother. Why? You can’t help a little? Don’t worry, the compensation is negotiable.”

 

“Boss Gu.” Before Gu Xiu could finish speaking, Lu Changze mustered up the courage to interrupt him, his face was a little pale, “It’s not about the money, I…I want to do it, but I can’t do it even after so many years. Mr. Gu should hire someone else. I still have something to do, so I’ll leave first. ” Lu Changze said it all in one breath.

 

After that, he hurriedly got up, opened the door and went out. Lu Changze was so fast that Gu Xiu had no time to speak.

 

Gu Xiu swept the documents that fell on the ground thoughtfully. This is the first time Lu Changze has blatantly disobeyed him in so many years.

 

6

 

Running out of Huihua in one breath, Lu Changze coughed and panted against the cold wind. He looked back to see if anyone was chasing him, then smiled self-deprecatingly.

 

There was no way Gu Xiu would follow him. Lu Changze rubbed his stomach. He didn’t eat much in the morning and now he ran against the wind for a long time.

 

Lu Changze frowned uncomfortably due to his gastritis. He had always known that he had stomach problems, but he was used to the pain since he was a child.

 

The more severe pain started two years ago.

 

Lu Changze was in so much pain that he found a quiet place and squatted for a long time. He then turned to see a homeless man covered with a black shabby quilt lying not far from him.

 

Lu Changze laughed out loud, he didn’t expect to look like a beggar after hanging around in his forties. He took out his phone in his pocket and saw it was four o’clock in the afternoon. The latest bus from Pingzhou to Xuan Qi leaves at six o’clock, so Lu Changze slowly stood up and walked to the station.

 

It was past seven when he got home and it was completely dark outside. Lu Changze was so uncomfortable that he drank two cups of hot water and threw himself on the bed.

 

He doesn’t know if he fell asleep or passed out. He probably started dreaming in the middle of the night about something from the past.

 

Gu Xiu, Fang Ming and Lu Changze. The three have known each other for a long time. Lu Changze frowned uncomfortably in his sleep. Yes, we have known each other for too long.

 

Lu Changze and Fang Ming were cousins. Lu Changze was brought up by Fang Ming’s parents. When Lu Changze was five years old, his parents owed an usury and were chased by loan sharks.

 

The debtor was hit and killed by a car. The driver who caused the accident ran away and disappeared completely. No one took care of Lu Changze, who was five years old, and he lived in an orphanage for half a year.

 

He was not treated well. Lu Changze suffered a lot in the orphanage. Later, his uncle, Fang Ming’s father, took him out.

 

The living conditions of Fang Ming’s family were not very good. At that time, the family lived in the capital and the cost of living was high. Although Fang Ming’s family was well off, they had to provide for two boys. Both of them went to school and their living expenses were not cheap. Although he tries not to talk about it, Lu Changze, who has been dependent on others since he was a child, can feel the emotions of others better than ordinary people.

 

Precocious, he started thinking about making money when he was in junior high school. He did everything to make money. He secretly sold things in school. He picked up bottles and sold them. Sometimes, he also stole things because he really wanted it too much. The protagonist in the novel must maintain a noble character in adversity, but from Lu Changze’s point of view, that was nonsense. It seemed that he hadn’t suffered enough. Even though the Fang family provided him with food to eat, when children reach a certain age and when they want something very much, they’ll be very envious when they see others have it. No matter how wise beyond his years Lu Changze was, he would not be able to bear it.

 

When he was in the first grade of junior high school, there was a popular snack. It was very delicate. He has forgotten what it is, but all the children in the class have eaten it. Fang Ming’s parents took him there before. But for Lu Changze who was earning a little money, it was only enough to buy two erasers, but he can’t afford what he wants. Even after saving for a long time, Lu Changze, who has a low self-esteem in his bones, didn’t have the courage to push open the high-end glass doors of the snack shop. No matter how thick-skinned he was, he was afraid of being looked down upon by others inside.

 

The more unsatisfied you are, the more you will want it.

 

Gu Xiu saw him when he mustered up the courage to steal from the boy at the front desk who brought the leftover snacks to school. The 12-year-old Lu Changze was ordinary-looking but the inferiority complex in his bones made him shrink back a little. Gu Xiu looked at him with disgust when caught him doing something bad and the corner of his mouth couldn’t be concealed.

 

Gu Xiu was dressed exquisitely and he at Lu Changze like he was looking at trash. Lu Changze was terrified, flustered, and ashamed.

 

When the people in the school found out, Lu Changze was shunned and then Fang Ming was implicated. Fang Ming is a very good person, and Lu Changze has always known that if Fang Ming had a brother, he would always treat his brother with sincerity. If he had a lover, he would be a considerate and gentle lover.

 

Lu Changze was ashamed. Only Fang Ming still treated him like before. Naturally, for a good person like Fang Ming, Gu Xiu also treated him well while always looking down on Lu Changze.

It’s just that humans are very strange. Lu Changze found out that he liked Gu Xiu when he was in his first year of high school. They went to the best high school in Beijing at that time.

 

Gu Xiu’s family is rich, so naturally they went to the best school. Fang Ming got good grades, and Lu Changze, who worked so hard to pass the admission line, also got into the first year of that high school.

 

While everyone was talking about girls, Lu Changze looked at Gu Xiu while he was ignorant.

 

He had a physical feeling and it happened to be towards Gu Xiu. Lu Changze knew how disgusting that person was, but he just couldn’t control it. Gu Xiu was good-looking and well-dressed.

 

He had an arrogant personality and was self-righteous. Even if he had a bad temper, in Lu Changze’s eyes, those were all good. Probably because he likes them, so they all looked good in his eyes. No matter how disgusting Gu Xiu was, Lu Changze still stuck to him like a rascal for more than twenty years.

 

7

 

If Lu Changze does not participate, Huihua will not lack him. While the demolition work is in full swing, Lu Changze will still be guarding his small shop.

 

Gu Xiu never came to the small shop again and everything seemed to return to those five years, until Fang Ming appeared.

 

Lu Changze found a chair and handed it to Fang Ming. He was wearing a high-end coat and squeezed behind the narrow cash register with Lu Changze. The Fang Ming now and five years ago was still the same. He had a warm expression and temperament. If Lu Changze is mudwater, Fang Ming is the lotus on the mud. To be honest,he was not exaggerating at all.

 

“Brother, I heard from Gu Xiu that you have been here for the past two years and you refused to go back to work?” Fang Ming looked around, “Why did you come here without saying a word? Mingyu and I didn’t know you were missing until we returned to China. Why didn’t you contact us?”

 

“I had enough of staying at the same place, so I wanted to change the location. You and Boss Qi are both busy. It’s not a big deal for me. There’s no need to make a special effort.”

 

To explain. Boss Qi, Qi Mingyu, was Fang Ming’s boyfriend. It was not easy for these two to be together, but it had been more difficult for Lu Changze when the two were together. 

 

Few people didn’t know that Lu Changze liked Gu Xiu back then and all kinds of bad words were used to criticize Lu Changze.

 

But Lu Changze was cowardly, so he pretended he didn’t hear what others said and he still shamelessly clung onto him every day.

 

Gu Xiu, for some reason, when Fang Ming and Qi Mingyu fell in love, still regarded him as a brother. Both of them were men, so Fang’s father and mother hated Lu Changze to the core.

 

If it weren’t for the abnormal Lu Changze, would Fang Ming, a good young man, have fallen in love with a man too?

 

Gu Xiu was a man with power in his family, so he has played with both men and women.Despite this, Gu Xiu thought the same thing, if Lu Changze hadn’t influenced Fang Ming, how could Fang Ming have set foot on that path? What’s more, the two became acquainted because of Lu Changze. Just because of this, Gu Xiu even asked someone to get rid of Lu Changze several times. In the end, the two overcame all the difficulties and finally became lovers. However, Lu Changze remained a sinner.

 

“It’s not a problem for you to stay here…” Fang Ming looked sympathetically at Lu Changze’s blue cotton coat with some oil stains.

 

In comparison, Lu Changze is really a middle-aged, useless uncle, “You are much thinner than before.”

 

Lu Changze smiled, “Fang Ming, go back. If this piece is torn down, give me some more compensation. You know, I love money the most.”

 

Fang Ming couldn’t persuade Lu Changze, so he stopped talking and went back.

 

Xuan Qi is a city to the south and it doesn’t snow in winter, despite being gloomy and cold. Lu Changze looked out at the gloomy sky from behind the cash register.

 

He beat his stomach lightly twice, it has been so painful for the past few days and the pain hasn’t stopped.

 

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T/N: Happy Bad End Month! Hope you had a lovely time reading~

1

 

Lu Changze guarded a black school bag in front of him as he walked through the crowded train with difficulty. He bought a regular ticket and the journey was long.

 

He was surrounded by people going back home just in time for the Spring Festival. There were a lot of people and on a journey lasting more than 10 hours, most had no more energy and had to find a place to rest, whether leaning or lying down.

 

Lu Changze had one hand on his school bag and the other was holding an instant cup noodle.

He was going to the other end of the carriage to get some hot water as he was a little hungry.

 

He hasn’t eaten since he got onto the train.

 

After finally getting some hot water, Lu Changze didn’t dare to fill it up too much. He covered the cup of instant noodles, turned around with difficulty and squeezed into the smoking area, standing next to the toilet.

 

It was a cramped place to eat noodles.

 

Lu Changze ate very quickly. He had to finish eating quickly. There were too many people in the carriage and most of the passengers were migrant workers. Some looked honest and some did not look like good people. He did not want to cause trouble, not to mention… There were so many people, so it was awkward eating slowly. In two or three bites, he finished the mostly-uncooked noodles.

 

It was difficult to throw the instant noodle packaging into the garbage bin.

 

After eating, he found a place where he could stand and barely squeezed in. There were other people’s luggage beside him, but Lu Changze did not mind.

 

He just hugged the black schoolbag in his arms tightly and leaned his dirty head on the shaking carriage as he watched the scenery whistling by outside the carriage.

 

Lu Changze is thirty-seven. A man of this age should have started a family long ago, but he didn’t. What Lu Changze has gained at this age are only the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes and a heart that no longer beats for any reason apart from sustaining his life, as well as the $150,000 of cash notes in his bag. That was all he had.

 

He bought a ticket at the station, but in fact Lu Changze didn’t know where he was going to get off. He didn’t know which city he would settle down in for the rest of his life.

 

The train is heading south. The further south, the hotter the weather, so the thick down jacket on his body is already starting to make him feel hot but Lu Changze didn’t want to take it off. It was too troublesome so he’ll just keep wearing it as he doesn’t want to move. It’s hard to even turn around in this place.

 

What’s more, he was carrying a huge sum of money with him.

 

The train came to a slow stop and Lu Changze looked out the window. There were few people on the platform. Not many people were getting off the train.

 

The small station didn’t even have a decent platform and through the simply built white platform signs, one could see the lush mountains and forests.

 

The train bell was already ringing and Lu Changze hurriedly squeezed out of the crowd. He got off the moment the train door closed.

 

I’m here, he thought.

 

2

 

When he got out of the station, he realised that the platform was really small. Xuan Qi was a city that hardly appeared on the map. He only took two steps when it started to rain again.

 

Lu Changze quickly put on his hat, but the rain was getting heavier and heavier so he had no choice but to find a nearby noodle shop. He sneaked in and ordered a bowl of noodles. He hugged his school bag as he ate, waiting for the rain to stop.

 

The noodles from the shop next to the train station were not good, and they were expensive. However, Lu Changze has always been a person who likes to get his money’s worth.

 

As such, he even held the bowl and downed the soup. When he put it down and looked at the empty bowl, Lu Changze sneered silently at himself.

 

The rain had stopped and the streets were muddy. There was a puddle of murky water and he stepped on it. His blue and white shoes had now become a pair of dirty black ones. He was speechless.

 

Walking down the street, Lu Changze looked up and around. The surrounding shops were disorderly and most of them were dilapidated. Especially after it had just rained heavily.

 

The other pedestrians on the street were in groups of twos and threes. There weren’t many cars. Most were probably at home and at around four or five in the evening, most shops will be closed

The lights of every residential building were now turned on. Over here, most people lived on the second floor of the shophouses, with the shops below.

 

Lu Changze stopped on the road. He looked at the house lights that were gradually increasing and was lost in thought. A line of lyrics suddenly came to mind, but he couldn’t remember who sang it.

 

Tens of thousands of lights. The more one sees, the more lonelier they will be.

 

He found a cheap, small hotel and paid for a room to stay in for a night. It cost 69 yuan a night. The room was barely enough to fit a bed and a small wall-mounted TV. There was also a tiny standing shower with half a mirror next to it. After entering the room and locking the door, Lu Changze heaved a sigh of relief before placing his backpack on the bed that he had been carrying for more than 20 hours. He then took off his dirty shoes and put on the dark blue plastic slippers that had been worn by countless people who had previously stayed in this hotel before taking off his down jacket.

 

His socks were already so wet and they could no longer be worn, so he simply balled them up and threw them into a garbage bag. He sat on the bed for a while, got up and went to the shower room to wash up. He tried to turn on the hot water twice but the shower was still more cold than it was hot. At least it was not too cold and Lu Changze was alright with it.

 

Turning around to take off his clothes, he froze when he saw himself in the mirror.

 

The middle-aged man in the mirror was very haggard, with chunks of hair sticking to his head. The lenses of his glasses were covered with dust and oil stains.

 

Lu Changze tried to show a flattering expression by smiling but the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes immediately became obvious.

 

Lu Changze was too used to this flattering and humble expression in the reflection. He has lived with this expression for thirty-seven years.

 

The corners of his mouth were raised even higher and Lu Changze laughed silently so much that he couldn’t straighten his waist. His hands were in the mirror and tears came out of his laughter.

 

When Lu Changze laughed enough, he slipped down and sat down on the ground. The bathroom room was too narrow and his falling body turned on the tap of the shower. The warm water completely drenched him from head to toe.

 

Before Lu Changze could close his laughing mouth, he was forced to take a big gulp of water, which made him cough.

 

After getting up and turning down the water, Lu Changze took off his wet clothes and threw them on the ground, humming a song while taking a bath.

 

After taking a shower, he simply wiped himself. Lu Changze looked at the wet and dirty clothes piled up on the ground and sighed. He only had one set of clothes.

 

Ah, there was nothing in this shitty hotel, so he won’t be able to dry his clothes before tomorrow after washing them. Lu Changze rubbed his hair vigorously with a towel and resigned himself to doing laundry using boiled water.

 

He wrung out his clothes and hung them in the small cabinet at the corner of the bed. After finishing, he picked up his school bag and fell asleep soundly.

 

3

 

Xuan Qi is a prefecture-level city and the city is very small. There were only three bus routes. Route one, two, and three respectively. The third route was considered a bus route but actually cost two more yuan.

 

It takes one and a half hours to drive to Pingzhou, a relatively large city nearby. Xuan Qi is actually a city under Pingzhou and taking route one or two will allow one to cross between the two cities.

 

Xuan Qi is still in early development and the pace of life here is very slow. Lu Changze was content eating takeaway and watching TV. 

 

He has stayed here for five years.

 

After staying in that small hotel for more than ten days, he purchased a small shop near the route one bus terminal. The shop was not very big, and it was roughly 20 square meters but Lu Changze was very satisfied. After he sold many orders, he made it into a small self-running shop and got a computer to be the cash register. He went to collect the money from the cash register every day.

 

He lounged around, watched TV, played games and surfed the Internet for the entire day while the small shop ran itself with about seventy to eighty people coming by per day.

 

After deducting the cost, he could only earn two or three meals a day, but Lu Changze is quite satisfied. As long as he didn’t starve to death, Lu Changze was living a pretty good life now and he was happy.

 

When it’s time, Lu Changze pulled down the shutter door of the shop and put the key in his pocket. He walked home slowly on a path diverging two ways. He walked to an old residential building and walked up to the third floor to find his house. Yes, the location of Lu Changze’s house was very convenient and close by.

 

He bought a small house and it was enough for a single man to live in. Lu Changze opened the door, changed his shoes, went in, lay down on the sofa, and covered himself with the blanket that was always on the sofa. The sofa was small but very soft. Lu Changze hummed twice in satisfaction and fell asleep.

 

When he woke up, he took his phone out and looked at it. At two o’clock in the morning, Lu Changze got up, turned on the light and opened the refrigerator to find something to eat. The house is small and there is no kitchen.

 

In the studio, there is only a small area behind the sofa for preparing food and eating.

 

Lu Changze rummaged for the only instant noodles he had left. He took out the pot and turned on the gas, tore open two packets and put them in. After beating two eggs, he put them in front of the pot.

 

He watched quietly. From time to time, he would use his chopsticks to stir them twice. The sound of gurgling in the pot was very random and it stood out in the quiet room in the middle of the night. Reassured, Lu Changze turned off the fire and started to eat directly using the pot on the wooden table in front of the sofa. The weather was a bit cold but the instant noodles were steaming.

 

The glasses Lu Changze was wearing were covered with white mist. He took off his glasses, took a big mouthful of noodles and stuffed it into his mouth to eat. After being hungry, his mouth was full of food. It was a very fulfilling feeling as the soft instant noodles could be swallowed without much chewing. Lu Changze finished it in two or three bites. In fact, he likes it

instant noodles.

 

Lu Changze put the finished entire pot and put it in the sink next to the gas stove before returning to nest on the sofa. He always eats cleanly, and only leaves some soup bases. It’s late at night, so he didn’t want to wash the dishes.

 

He took his mobile phone from the side and searched for a movie to watch. After watching it, the sky was bright. His days in Xuan Qi were very comfortable. There were a lot of movies and he had a lot of time to do what he wanted.

 

4

 

Lu Changze was sitting behind the cashier and catching up on a show. Aunt Liu who lived across the street came down to do some shopping and bought a bunch of things. Lu Changze

paused the screen and recorded the stock.

 

Aunt Liu is an old lady with a round face. She talks a lot. Every time she comes to buy something, she always hopes that Lu Changze can give her a cheaper price. This has been going on for a while.

 

Lu Changze would occasionally charge her less for a pack of vinegar and the two of them saw each other every once in a while. Seeing that Aunt Liu had bought a lot of beer, Lu Changze casually asked

 

“Aunt Liu, someone in town? Buying so much beer, will you be able to carry it?”

 

“Yes, don’t judge my appearance. I am strong!” Aunt Liu said while putting the alcohol in the canvas bag she carried with her, “You don’t know about it yet? I’ll tell you.”

 

As she spoke, she got closer and said mysteriously, “Our area is going to be demolished. I have a relative who works in a real estate company in Pingzhou. According to internal information, their company is responsible for the compensation for our demolition. I heard that the company is big and can pay a lot of money. Young Lu, don’t underestimate the small size of the shop. You’ll be able to make a lot of money by getting the compensation later!”

 

Speaking enviously, she looked at the small shop owner.

 

Lu Changze pushed his glasses up and helped Aunt Liu put the things into her bag, “It’s nothing to worry about. They said that they would demolish it last year but they didn’t. Aunt Liu, don’t take it too seriously. That’ll be 57 yuan in total.”

 

“Believe it or not, it’ll be different this time. My relative is still at my house and they were still talking about it today. I think it’ll proceed this time.”

 

“After two months, everyone will find out. Let’s not talk about it now. Get moving.”

 

Aunt Liu paid the money and took the things and went back beaming. Lu Changze took the

Money and placed it into the bag he always carried with him. He sat back in the chair and continued to watch the TV series, not taking Aunt Liu’s words to heart.

 

After spring began, Lu Changze found that more people were coming to this area. From a glance, one could tell they were not local. They came to judge and compare the houses here. They were the same people from last time and he now believes Aunt Liu’s words. It seems that this area is soon to be demolished.

 

It was completely dark outside but Lu Changze hadn’t closed his shop and went back home. Today, he watched the drama he hoarded some time ago and the plot was not bad.

 

He didn’t stop until he finished it. Usually, he closes at six or seven o’clock, but today it was way after ten o’clock. After watching the show, he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He got ready to get up and collect his money but saw someone coming in to get something out of the corner of his eye. The cash register was a bit tall, so he didn’t see it clearly.

 

The visitor took a bottle of mineral water and put it on the cash register without saying a word. Lu Changze stood up and looked down at the hand holding the water in surprise.

 

After the other person took the most expensive water in the shop, Lu Changze raised his head, “Four yuan…”

 

Their eyes met and Lu Changze was stunned.

 

Gu Xiu’s hand holding his wallet paused and he recovered after a while, “Lu Changze, I didn’t expect to see you here.” 

 

There were no ups and downs in his voice.

 

He took out a 50 yuan note from his wallet and handed it over. Only then did Lu Changze snap out of it. He took the money and put it in his bag. He then found some change and passed it to him.

 

Gu Xiu took the money but did not keep the coin that Lu Changze gave him. It was too troublesome to keep such a small change, so he put the rest of his change inside his wallet, took his water and left the small shop.

 

Lu Changze saw a car parked on the other side of the street with the light from the small shop to the door. It was dark and only the outline of the car could be seen. Gu Xiu got into the car and drove away.

 

Lu Changze withdrew his gaze, glanced at a coin left on the cash register, reached out to take it and put it in his bag. He then turned off the computer and lights, closed the door and went back home.

 

Gu Xiu drove the car a long way before turning around and driving back. By that time, the small shop was already closed. Gu Xiu looked at the small shop through the car window and smoked a stick of cigarette before driving away again.

 

Lu Changze came back and changed his shoes. He took off his coat as usual and lay down on the sofa. He put his arms over his eyes before getting up from the sofa after a while.

 

After entering the narrow bathroom and taking a shower, he lay down on the bed wearing a tank top and shorts, ready to go to sleep. However, he ended up tossing and turning until 4:00 in the morning, unable to sleep.

 

Unexpectedly, Lu Changze simply turned over and sat up, turned on the light, took the sketchbook beside him and started drawing.

 

After drawing, it was already eight o’clock the next morning. Lu Changze felt drowsy then, so he casually threw the book and pen on the quilt before lying down and falling asleep.

 

The store is closed today.

 

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T/N: Happy Bad End Month! Here’s the second novel for September~