Category: His Character Isn’t Quite Right

Chapter 2 – After all, you've acted as a corpse

Zhong Weishi sat on the back seat of the electric scooter, listening to Qiangzi methodically laying out the work plan for tomorrow.

“Here’s the plan. First, we get the woman to call Er’Gou and lure him back home. Then, Da Fei and I will wait at the door to stop him if he tries to run, while A’Wei squats at the balcony to make sure he doesn’t jump. Your job is to go inside and negotiate with the person.”

“Like, ‘You’re surrounded!’ or ‘If you don’t pay up, we’ll burn down your old house!’ Make your tone as fierce and ruthless as possible, and channel the menacing aura of a mafia boss. If needed, we’ll step out to cheer you on.”

“…” So, for half a day, everyone else is in spectator mode while he’s the only person actually going in?”

“Then what’s the point of you guys stepping out? To be my sidekick?” Zhong Weishi rolled his eyes in exasperation. They might as well just sit in the hallway and eat takeout.

Qiangzi thought that his Shi-ge was bursting with confidence and said, “Alright ba, we won’t say anything at all when the time comes.”

“…” Zhong Weishi was starting to regret taking on this job. “What about Da Fei and A’Wei? How will the money be split? A quarter each?”

“I’ll treat them to a meal afterward, hehe.” Qiangzi grinned into the wind, “You’re not like them.”

Finally, Zhong Weishi felt a small bit of comfort.

After all, in this world, the strong are always alone.

Then he heard Qiangzi say with complete seriousness, “After all, you’ve acted as a corpse before, and your whole body is full of artistic cells. If you can’t beat the other party, you can just lie down and pretend to drop dead on the spot. We’ll use that to extort some more money out of him!”

Zhong Weishi gritted his teeth, pronouncing the word “Roll!” with rising and falling intensity.

The scenery along the way kept changing—from the bright, densely packed skyscr4p3rs to the mismatched, peeling residential buildings.

The air on the street was not only filled with the stench of rancid gutter oil, but also the smell of rotting food, as if it was seeping out of long-neglected sewage pipes.

The scooter stopped.

“Tomorrow at noon, don’t be late ah. I’ll send the address to your WeChat in a bit. Make sure to wear a tank top to give that tattoo on your chest a half-revealed, mysterious look,” Qiangzi turned around and said.

Zhong Weishi stared blankly at the dilapidated entrance of the apartment building, lost in thought.

It wasn’t until Qiangzi nudged his arm that he snapped out of it, letting out an unintelligible “Ah” “What?”

Qiangzi repeated himself and casually sent the address to his WeChat.

Building 13, Room 701, Qingfeng Garden.

Zhong Weishi stared at the address on his phone and slowly stepped onto the concrete staircase in the hallway.

The apartment building he lived in had eight floors but no elevator. The entire structure was designed in a concave shape, with each floor housing about ten families. Some of the residents were elderly people who had lived there for decades, but most, like him, who have no one to depend on and can’t afford to buy a house.

This was the oldest, most rundown apartment complex in all of Yucheng—no exceptions.

In the dim, narrow hallway, the only sound was the echo of his footsteps.

The voice-activated lights in the corridor had been broken for months, and no one had come to fix them.

There was no property management here.

Neighbors didn’t know each other, and most followed the “mind your own business” mentality. No one was willing to pay to fix the lights.

Naturally, he was no exception.

No money.

He counted the cash in his wallet. If he paid the rent this month, he would be left with 1,200 yuan. Subtracting the necessary expenses, it would barely last him until the end of the month.

The main reason he was so strapped for cash was that his former roommate had moved out after switching jobs, and no new tenant had been found yet. So, now he had to pay double the rent every month.

In his pinned WeChat group, “Dream Chasers,” there were dozens of unread messages.

The group chat consisted of over 20 extras, just like him, who hustled for roles at the film and television city. Whenever a crew needed extras, they’d notify each other in the group as soon as possible.

He had joined the group three years ago, back when there were more than 50 members, men and women, both young and old.

They often stuck together for mutual support.

A few lucky ones had managed to break into the 18th-tier of celebrity status and quit the group, but most were eliminated by the harsh realities of life, returning home to “inherit the family business” as nobodies.

Today, the group was once again full of complaints. The reason: the crew of “Distant Cousin Comes to the City” had promised 200 yuan a day, but in the end, they only paid 150, claiming the rest went towards meal expenses.

[Nan Nan]: A box of white rice with two veggie sides—pigs wouldn’t even eat that. So fvcking disgusting.

[Sun Xiaozhou]: I’m never going to that crew again. They’re so stingy, and the director’s demands are ridiculous. He actually said my performance when ‘rising from the dead’ lacked realism. How the hell would I know what that looks like? I’ve never seen someone come back from the dead!

A string of “hahahaha” followed in response.

Zhong Weishi smiled but didn’t reply.

The main reason he had joined this group in the first place was just to catch some leftovers. He never really formed close connections with anyone in it.

Still, he hoped the group remained lively; at the very least, it gave him a sense of direction for the future.

Look—

There were a whole bunch of people, just like him, who were trying to strive toward the same goal.

It wasn’t a lonely path, and there were already people who had succeeded.

No matter how many failed attempts he’d faced, life was still full of hope ah…

By ten o’clock, the night had wrapped the city in an impenetrable darkness, yet the noise outside the apartment building persisted.

Zhong Weishi stood in the cramped bathroom, taking a shower. Through the window, he could see the rows of late night snack stalls across the street.

Stir-fried noodles, fried rice, stir-fried flat noodles, jianbing, roast duck, oden… Each stall had a warm yellow light hanging from the top.

From afar, they looked like scattered stars blending into the night.

He had been here for four years and had grown accustomed to the unchanging night scenes and streets.

Bustling… yet lonely.

He wasn’t the only lonely person.

Before going to bed, he stared at the peeling wallpaper and prayed that tomorrow’s debt collection would go smoothly.

The result was a nightmare.

When he woke up, he vaguely remembered the last scene from his dream.

A muscular bald thug roared, “Come on men ah, get them!” Ten thugs in floral shirts stood in a line, all of them holding weapons in their arms. They charged at them to hack them furiously, Qiangzi had his arm chopped off and died on the spot.

Just as the barrel of a gun was pointed at him, he jolted awake.

Before brushing his teeth, he rushed across the street to the pancake stall and shouted, “Aunt Song, one jianbing!”

Ai~ Ok~”

This place looked completely different during the day and night.

The street seemed a bit deserted.

By around eight o’clock, the city enforcements would start patrolling, shutting down any stalls they saw. It would cost several hundred yuan in fines to get their carts back, so everyone usually packed up before the enforcement showed up.

At 7:30, Auntie Song’s cart was the only one left on the street.

He had heard people say that Auntie Song’s husband was a gambling addict who squandered all their savings before running off, leaving her with two children. She rented a place nearby.

Every night, Auntie Song set up her stall at 6 PM. After the late-night rush, she’d go back to prepare for the next day, barely getting any sleep. By 4 AM, she was back at it again, working until 8 in the morning.

Day after day, year after year, all for one purpose—so her two sons could go to school.

Some people’s lives seem to end before they’ve even truly begun.

Compared to that, Zhong Weishi felt somewhat lucky.

He was free.

At least he still had dreams to chase

After wrapping up a morning of acting work, Zhong Weishi changed out of the yellowish-brown Japanese soldier uniform and caught a ride to the southern district.

While waiting at the bus stop, he quickly devoured the cheap boxed lunch he had taken from the set.

The granny waiting for the bus beside him couldn’t help but advise, “Young man ah, eating like that isn’t good for digestion. You’ll hurt your stomach.”

Zhong Weishi threw the empty box away, scratched his head, and mumbled, “I’m used to it.”

As soon as he boarded the bus, his phone in his pocket started vibrating.

He saw that Qiangzi had ceremoniously changed the group name from “The Tall, Poor, and Handsome Guys of Xicheng District” to “Xicheng District’s Express Debt Collection Team.”

[Huangfu]: Ge, where are you? We’re already in position!

Attached to the message was a selfie of Qiangzi, Da Fei, and A’Wei, the three of them lined up in front of Room 701. All three pointed dramatically at the room number with exaggerated expressions, looking like they had just escaped from a mental institution.

Zhong Weishi scrolled up through the chat history.

[Huangfu]: Later, we need to shout with authority—Er’Gou! You’re surrounded! Hand over 100,000 yuan and we’ll spare your life!

[Da Fei]: When the time comes, he’ll definitely be so scared he’ll pee his pants, hahaha.

“…”

[Weishi]: Is anyone home?

[Da Fei]: Seems like there is, but maybe there isn’t.

[Weishi]: …So, is there or not?

[Wei Ge]: We haven’t knocked on the door yet.

[Weishi]: So what the hell are you guys even doing?

[Huangfu]: We’re waiting for you ah!!! Without you! We’re like moths in the night, with no flame to fly towards. We’re like camels wandering the lonely desert, without a source of water. We’re like the Earth without Einstein, deprived of its source of light.

[Da Fei]: Wait, I seem to remember that it was Edison who invented the lightbulb, right?

[Wei Ge]: Then what did that guy in the wheelchair, Hawking, invent?

[Huangfu]: He wrote a bunch of essays that we were required to memorize. I hated him when I was in school.

[Wei Ge]: Ah, I remember! He wrote that essay, “The Light”, right?

This conversation wasn’t going anywhere.

Zhong Weishi resisted the urge to change the group name to “My Pig-like Teammates”1Means useless teammates. and quit the group altogether. Instead, he searched for Qingfeng Garden’s exact location on the map.

Fortunately. there was a bus stop right outside the complex.

It was definitely different in rich neighborhoods. In his slum, there weren’t even bus stops. Every time he went out to catch a bus, he felt like a stupid kid from the mountains hiking over hills just to get to school.

When he got home at night, the first thing he always had to do was pick the blisters on his feet in the dim light.

Unfortunately, when he arrived at the entrance of Qingfeng Garden, he realized that being close to the stop didn’t help.

For someone with no sense of direction, stepping into the complex was like walking into a moving maze—every path seemed like one he had just taken.

Zhong Weishi dialed Qiangzi’s number for the third time. “I’m standing under a big tree right now. Where the hell are you people ah?!”

“What a coincidence! I’m also under a big tree!” Qiangzi sounded almost ecstatic. “How come I don’t see you ah!”

Zhong Weishi replied, “Take a good look at the tree near you. Does it have any distinctive features? I’ll try to figure out if I passed by it earlier.”

Qiangzi tilted his head back and observed. “fvck! I just realized there’s a bird’s nest up here! I wonder if there are any eggs I can fish out. If there are, we could add them to our dinner tonight!”

Unmoved by the temptation, Zhong Weishi clenched his teeth and reminded him, “Qiangzi, we need to focus on the bigger picture right now. Let’s leave the trivial bird eggs for later. Describe any other features of the tree, or maybe just tell me its species.”

After a moment of thought, Qiangzi responded, “I’ve also noticed this tree is balder than the others around it.”

Zhong Weishi: “…”

“I know it’s Building 13. It’s not like I’ve never been here before…”

That comment suddenly drifted past Zhong Weishi’s ear. His legs froze in place, and he turned his head discreetly, catching sight of a man’s back.

The man wore a white shirt and neatly pressed slacks, his tall, lean frame accentuated by the tailored fit. A fine leather belt outlined his slim waist.

Both sleeves were rolled up slightly, exposing his sharp wrist bones and a watch.

Having spent years working with artists on set, Zhong Weishi had some knowledge of luxury watches. One glance at the design of the watch face, and he could tell it was something expensive.

With the blazing sun at his head, the material of the shirt became slightly translucent which revealed faint outlines of the man’s hidden arm muscles.

“I’m not retarded. How could I possibly get lost?”

“…”

If it wasn’t for the fact that the other party was holding a phone in his hand, Zhong Weishi would have thought that he was being insulted.

“Are we getting food? I haven’t eaten yet,” The man said in a deep, pleasant voice.

Zhong Weishi quickly wrapped up his conversation with Qiangzi on the phone and then calmly followed the man.

The man looked back after turning into Building 13.

Their eyes met unexpectedly.

In that brief moment, a line from the female lead’s dialogue earlier that day drifted through Zhong Weishi’s mind: That gentleman is so handsome, just one glance is enough to make your heart race.

For the first time, Zhong Weishi realized that the phrase “sword-like brows and starry eyes” could apply to someone other than a novel’s male lead.

The man was about the same height as Zhong Weishi, with neatly combed short hair that added just a slight edge to his height. He exuded a clean, crisp aura, and his deep-set eyes had a sharp intensity to them.

He appeared to be in his early thirties, radiating a strong presence.

Zhong Weishi watched as the man lifted a finger to press a button.

The door opened.

They entered the elevator, one after the other.

The man’s lips moved, “Which floor?”

Zhong Weishi looked at him, “7th floor.”

The man pressed “7” and made no further movements.

Such a coincidence?

Zhong Weishi stole a sideways glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

The man had his head lowered, one hand in his pocket, while his right hand tapped away at his phone screen.

It wasn’t Weibo, WeChat, or a game…

Rather, it was the news app.

Definitely an old man ah, Zhong Weishi thought to himself.

“Ding—” As soon as the elevator sounded, the man locked his phone and turned to the right.

In Qingfeng Garden, each floor had two households, with their doors facing each other, separated by only a narrow hallway and the elevator.

Zhong Weishi looked at the man’s back, noticing that Da Fei and A’Wei, who had just been discussing great world figures in the group chat, were now squatting by the door of Unit 701, staring at him.

Zhong Weishi gestured silently, pointing at the man’s back, mouthing, “Is it him?”

Da Fei, being the brainless one that he was, stood up, looking directly at Zhong Weishi, and practically walked over, saying, “Ge, what did you say? I can’t hear you.”

Zhong Weishi wanted to kill him on the spot.

Before anything else could happen, A’Wei stepped forward, grabbing the man’s wrist just as he was about to knock on the door. His face twisted into a fierce expression. “Er’Gou, I’ve been waiting here for you for ages.”

The man frowned, looking bewildered as he tried to pull his arm back, only to realize that A’Wei’s grip was unrelenting. “You’ve got the wrong person.”

“Hmph, hmph…” A’Wei, feeling an unprecedented boost to his IQ, saw through what he believed to be the enemy’s trick. Tightening his grip, he sneered, “You think I’m that easy to fool? I’d recognize you even if you turned to dust.”

Zhong Weishi was surprised. How could such a well-dressed man, who looked so distinguished, have fallen to the point of becoming a plaything for rich women? At the same time, he had to admire A’Wei’s exceptional on-the-spot reaction and improvisational dialogue skills.

A true fan of revenge dramas.

He couldn’t believe that this was the same person as the retard who had been talking about whether Hawking had written essays a few minutes earlier in the group chat.

Zhong Weishi felt a lot of emotions inside. A perfectly good man, why not live a proper life? It wasn’t like he hadn’t been given a chance.

Was this a distortion of human nature or a degeneration of morality?

Without missing a beat, Zhong Weishi stepped forward, shoving the man against the door and pinning him firmly. Channeling Qiangzi, who wasn’t present, he shouted the rallying cry of the Xicheng Debt Collection Team: “Er’Gou! You’re surrounded!”

Chapter 1 – What tattoo did you get? Peppa pig?

“You have arrived at your destination. The target is on the left side of the road. Thank you for using XX Navigation.”

The mechanical female voice in the phone ended abruptly. Zhong Weishi stood on the wide overpass, looking completely bewildered.

In front of him were two escalators that had stopped running. To his left was the path he had just come up, and to his right and behind him were stairs leading both up and down.

He turned around and counted: there were a total of seven different paths branching out, extending in various directions across the road.

Was this a fvcking overpass or an octopus?

Who the hell designed this road?

Is this what people do?

At this moment, it was the rush hour, and a massive crowd surged onto the overpass like a swarm of zombies,clamouring loudly and incessantly moving.

Below him was a constant stream of traffic.

Based on the sweet navigation prompt, his options were either to retrace his steps or jump off the overpass.

It really killed a directionally challenged like him.

Zhong Weishi opened the walking navigation again, but a small line of text popped up when he searched for his destination: You are too close to the destination to use navigation oh~

… fvck.

Suppressing his frustration, Zhong Weishi closed the app and dialed Qiangzi’s number.

Qiangzi’s full name was Huangfu Qiang. He had a surname straight out of a Mary Sue romance drama, but was stuck with a first name that was only slightly better than Tiezhu, truly embodying the phrase, “wasting a good hand of cards.” 1The humor lies in the contrast between the grand, aristocratic surname “皇甫” (Huangfu) and the simple given name “强” (Qiang). The name “强” is slightly better than “铁柱” (Tiezhu, meaning “Iron Pillar”), which is used as a humorous example of a basic, unsophisticated name. This mismatch suggests that despite having a prestigious surname, the ordinary first name makes it feel like he’s wasting a good opportunity, like playing a great hand of cards poorly.

Qiangzi quickly picked up: “Ge, when are you getting here? We’re just waiting for you.”

His voice was raspy and slurred, a clear sign that he was smoking.

“I fvcking…” Zhong Weishi was too embarrassed to admit that he’d been wandering back and forth on the overpass for nearly half an hour and still hadn’t found the place. “My phone’s about to die. Come out and pick me up. I’m on an overpass that looks like an octopus.”

“Oh, just take the western path down about ten meters and you’ll be there. The shop has a small entrance. I’ll be at the door waiting for you,” Qiangzi said with a cigarette in his mouth as he leisurely headed downstairs.

West side.

If he knew where the west side was, would he have wasted his phone bill?

Zhong Weishi stood in the middle of the overpass, spinning in a circle in every direction. He didn’t spot any tattoo shops, but he did see a women’s lingerie store. The floor-to-ceiling windows were spotless, and a row of female mannequins stood at the entrance, striking seductive poses with bizarre makeup.

“I see a lingerie store, something like My Eternal Love Lolita,” Zhong Weishi said with wrinkled brows.

“What?” Qiangzi was just as confused and emphasized loudly, “The west side ah. Walk a few steps west, and you’ll find it.”

What a dog day.2It’s like saying “Seriously, this is all messed up.”

Zhong Weishi raised his voice. “I’m not a fvcking compass! How would I know where west is?!”

Huangfu Qiang never expected his Shi-ge to have such a unique level of IQ. It proved that the universe was fair—good-looking people often only had their looks going for them.

But fearing for his life, Qiangzi only dared to remind him gently, “Just look up and face the direction of the sun, and then…”

Before he could finish, the call ended abruptly with a curt “Oh.”

As Zhong Weishi retraced his steps, he cursed under his breath. Who knew he’d circled this place four or five times already and still hadn’t found that “best tattoo shop on the whole street, where people travel dozens of kilometers just to get inked” that Qiangzi had talked about.

He thought to himself, for such a renowned shop, it ought to be at least a bit bigger than a public restroom, right? But all he could see around him were small eateries and milk tea shops.

“Hey! Ge!” Qiangzi waved at him next to an electric scooter. “Over here!”

Zhong Weishi turned around, walked over, and glanced at the sign: Paris Glamour Boutique Menswear.

Inside the transparent display windows were summer collections of men’s t-shirts, pants, and… various knock-off CK underwear.

The male mannequin near the entrance was wearing cartoon underwear with a SpongeBob SquarePants pattern.

Sexy was an understatement.

At the mannequin’s feet, Zhong Weishi spotted a small black sign, roughly the size of a palm. There was crooked handwriting on it: Tattoos, eyebrow tattoos, ear cleaning, haircuts, and manicures on the 2nd floor.

… The range of business was quite comprehensive.

“Did you get yours done?” Zhong Weishi looked him up and down, noticing no change on his arms.

“Not yet. Waiting for you to do together.” Huangfu Qiang hooked an arm around his neck, leading him inside. “I just picked out a design with a lot of artistic flair. A blood-red rose. The boss says he can make it 3D.”

“What the hell?” Zhong Weishi was somewhat speechless. “Why don’t you just go all out and get it in 5D? That’d be more exciting.”

Just last night, Huangfu Qiang had suddenly called, saying he received a private job. The client was from a promising company with a clear business direction, and the job was supposedly simple. By the end of the conversation, it turned out they wanted him to collect debts.

“We’re a legitimate debt collection service, nationwide. No success, no charge. Absolute integrity.” Qiangzi had passionately declared over the phone.

“Not going!” Zhong Weishi refused without hesitation.

“Come on ah! How could we do this without you taking the lead! Out of all of us, you’re the only one who’s played a thug! You play your roles so convincingly. We need to learn from you!” Qiangzi was practically shouting with enthusiasm.

“…”

Zhong Weishi, a long-time stand-in actor on the edge of the entertainment industry, had played everything from eunuchs and palace maids to guards, corpses, thugs, and perverts—none of which lasted more than ten seconds on screen.

But anyhow, it’s also considered to have a colorful acting experience.

Playing a street thug? Not a problem at all.

But was he really the kind of guy to be motivated by money?

Debt collection was something he had only ever seen on TV.

Getting caught would mean… not getting beheaded, but definitely being dragged to the police station for questioning.

His acting career couldn’t afford such a stain!

“You can get a 3,000-yuan commission per job. I’ll split it with you half and half.”

“Deal! It’s settled, then.”

There was no crown on his head, so why should he be afraid to bow down?

Before this, Qiangzi had worked as an internet café network administrator and had never been involved in such a magically twisted side gig.

In his understanding, debt collection was all about scaring people and strength in numbers, so he roped in Zhong Weishi and a few brothers to boost morale.

The first step to playing the part of a thug, of course, was to smoke, get a perm, and get a tattoo.

Though the shop had a small entrance, it was surprisingly spacious inside. The decor was simple but stylish, exuding understated luxury. The cashier’s counter was a large solid-wood desk, and the middle-aged owner sat with his legs crossed, watching a movie. The table was equipped with an entire tea set, and a spiral redwood staircase led to the second floor.

When someone walked in, the owner reflexively looked up.

He froze for a moment.

The young man standing at the entrance was around 24 or 25, and the first impression he gave off was simply stunning.

His skin, contrasted with the person next to him, looked especially fair. His facial features were sharply defined, with soft bangs partially covering his brows and a pair of classic standard peach blossom eyes.

Normally, a face like his with those eyes should be charming and approachable. However, his slightly raised brows gave him an air of cool indifference and casual aloofness.

Even in a simple hoodie and sweatpants, his tall and lean figure was impossible to hide.

“Xiao Qiang, is this your friend ah?” The owner, who knew Huangfu Qiang, casually asked.

“Yeah, I came with him to get a tattoo.” Qiangzi grinned.

“What do you want to get?” The boss looked at Zhong Weishi, sensing that he had more guts than Huangfu Qiang. He introduced with great interest, “We have tattoo artists here who graduated from design academies. Besides the usual stuff like the Azure Dragon and White Tiger, we can design a one-of-a-kind, full-body piece for you. The latest trend is 3D mechanical tattoos—vibrant colors, with a striking, three-dimensional effect…”

The boss lifted his t-shirt to reveal his own tattoo, proudly showing it off. “How about this? Pretty visually impactful, right?”

Zhong Weishi suddenly narrowed his eyes.

—On the man’s pale belly was a large peony, symbolizing wealth and prosperity, with a peac0ck spreading its feathers across his waist.

It was definitely a strong impact.

The design was incredibly lifelike, almost identical to the “Peony of Wealth” cross-stitch hanging on display at the embroidery shop downstairs from his apartment!

Meeting the boss’s eager and expectant gaze, Zhong Weishi coldly and decisively asked, “Do you have any temporary tattoo stickers?”

Boss: “…”

Qiangzi: “…”

“Just pick a design yourself,” The boss said, pulling out a thick stack of temporary tattoo stickers from behind the counter.

Right on top was a pink Peppa Pig sticker in various poses and styles, which seemed to be quite trendy these days.

One of them even had wings and a fairy wand, looking oddly cute.

Seeing how his friend’s gaze lingered affectionately on the pigs, Qiangzi quickly pulled him aside. “I already said I’m treating you ah! Don’t worry about the money! How are you going to intimidate people when we go to collect debts later? How are you going to scare people with four or five blow dryers? Or… are you afraid of the pain?”

Zhong Weishi wanted to ask what exactly made his garish blood-red rose any better than a few pigs ah. Honestly, the whole thing was just ridiculous.

But Zhong Weishi couldn’t be bothered to dampen his enthusiasm. After all, Qiangzi had been talking about getting a full-sleeve tattoo since childhood, and it had taken him years to finally muster up the courage.

“I really don’t want a tattoo.” Zhong Weishi said seriously.

He wasn’t an idiot. He wasn’t about to mess around with Qiangzi over some sketchy side gig. Forget the 3D peonies and roses—even if it were mythical creatures like qilins or phoenixes, he had no interest.

He didn’t want to cover his body with those kinds of random things.

His body wasn’t just his alone.

Huangfu Qiang stared at him for a moment, then seemed to understand. “Alright, then just get a sticker. Pick whichever design you like, I’ll buy it for you.”

Casually, Qiangzi slipped away the Peppa Pig family pack from the top of the pile. He didn’t want his friend to become the city’s most handsome lunatic.

In the end, Zhong Weishi picked one of the Four Evil Creatures from ancient mythology: Qiongqi.

It had the head of a tiger and the body of a lion, with sharp claws and teeth, paired with wings. Its savage maw was open wide, and its entire body seemed engulfed in a sinister flame. The design stretched from his chest all the way to his arm.

It actually looked pretty cool. Combined with Zhong Weishi’s natural roguish air, it made him look every bit the part of a thug—just as long as you don’t look closer.

“Is this thing waterproof?” Zhong Weishi touched the tail of the Qiongqi tattoo on his arm. His hand came away clean, without any smudges.

Magical.

“As long as you don’t scrub it too hard, it’ll last about ten days,” The boss said.

Ten days should be enough.

It’s just a debt collection job. If they can’t do it, they could just raid the person’s house.

Not paying back what you owe? It’s against him.

“Oh, by the way,” Zhong Weishi said, pulling on his hoodie, “What’s the deal with the guy who owes the money ah? Have you done your research and visited him over the past few days?”

As a seasoned Internet café network administrator, Huangfu Qiang had a wide circle of friends across various fields. He quickly received 999+ tidbits of information when he asked in his gaming group.

“Er’Gou, full name Zhang Gou, in his late 30s. He roams all over Yucheng. Apparently, he puts on airs, looks pretty decent, and has been seeing a divorced woman named Li Yuqin. She lives in the Qingfeng Garden over in the southern district, and Er’Gou visits her often.”

Qingfeng Garden was an older complex near the city center. Over the past decade, property prices have skyrocketed; a unit of about a hundred square meters could cost around three million.

Most of the residents there were rich people.

“Does that woman have any family? Should we just wait for her at her house to block her?” Zhong Weishi thought that seemed a bit inappropriate.

“Yeah, I heard she got divorced a long time ago and lives alone. If worse comes to worst, we can just ask her directly for the money. After all, she’s the one supporting that gigolo,” Huangfu Qiang replied.

“…” So to deal with one woman, he was turning himself into the most eye-catching lunatic on the whole street.

Zhong Weishi was genuinely worried about his bro’s intelligence.

By the time Huangfu Qiang finished with that flashy 3D blood-red rose, it was already past eight in the evening.

They hadn’t even gotten the money yet, and Qiangzi had already overspent by fifteen hundred.

Zhong Weishi felt a pang of sympathy. He hadn’t expected that temporary tattoo sticker would cost a hundred!

But Qiangzi was unfazed. “Ge, look at it this way: this thing lasts for ten days, so it’s just ten yuan a day. Just skip a pack of cigarettes, and you’re good.”

“Forget it.” Zhong Weishi decided to let it go. “It’s not my money anyway.”

Qiangzi: “…”

As they bid farewell to the tattoo shop owner, he reminded them, “When you shower, don’t scrub too hard. What comes off isn’t dirt; it’s money.”

“…Got it,” Zhong Weishi replied.

The tattoo artist handed him a business card. “Welcome to come by often! I think your back would be perfect for a tattoo of the Mona Lisa’s smile. I designed it myself; it’s different from Da Vinci’s but it’s equally satisfactory.”

Zhong Weishi wanted to retort, Why don’t you just fvcking say Along the River During the Qingming Festival,3Handscroll painting by the Song dynasty painter Zhang Zeduan. wouldn’t you make more money?

But Qiangzi beat him to it. “Definitely, definitely! I’ll come by at the end of the year when I get my bonus.”

“…” A broken Internet cafe actually has a bonus?

After being distracted for a couple of seconds, Zhong Weishi realized that his focus seemed to be off.

Huangfu Qiang also handed a business card to the tattoo artist.

With a white background and bold red letters, it was eye-catching.

Xicheng Express Debt Collection Team: Construction payments, triangular debts, extramarital affair investigation collection, legal debt collection, nationwide service, no success, no fee. Welcome to call: xxx. Project Manager: Huangfu Phantom.

“Feel free to contact me. We also offer small loans—just provide a photo of your ID or a copy of your household registration. No collateral needed…” Qiangzi began to promote his new business.

Sitting on Qiangzi’s electric scooter, Zhong Weishi held his new business card between his fingers, feeling a mix of emotions. “What the hell is this Phantom? Is that the second child of your Huangfu family that accidentally strayed away back then?”

“My stage name. Doesn’t it sound more mysterious?” Qiangzi chuckled as he snatched the card from Zhong Weishi’s hand.

After dinner at a roadside stall, Qiangzi began to fret about his image again. “Ge, now that I’m getting a tattoo, should I also dye my hair? I’m thinking that trendy cool purple, with a layer of stylish gray on top. I’ve seen a bunch of students at the internet café with that color—it really suits their skin tone and makes them look lively…”

Zhong Weishi couldn’t take it anymore. “That’s because those people have fair skin that complements the color. You have an unmistakable Mongoloid race complexion. What’s the difference between making it like that and putting a potted flower on a shit?”

“…” Qiangzi endured the humiliation and quietly added a bowl of beef rice to his order. “He’ll pay later.”


Author’s Note:

This is a lighthearted and sweet story. The main character will appear in the next chapter. Additionally, the work was completed in 2019 and has many shortcomings; I hope for your understanding.

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