A person’s experiences continually accumulate throughout their growth, and after a long period of settling, their personality gradually changes becoming more composed and calm, open-minded and indifferent. Even love becomes quiet and restrained.
This perfectly described Gu Lizhou.
He had always kept himself outside a zone of emotional safety, so that he could swiftly retreat the moment he sensed something was off.
He didn’t want to waste energy, didn’t want to fall for anyone. No joy, no sorrow. He didn’t get jealous and had no temper. It seemed like nothing could ever rattle his nerves.
But everything changed when it came to Zhong Weishi.
He became cautious, insecure, easily moved to joy or sorrow.
He broke down and cried at the airport over a fake news report, exhausted himself just to make Zhong Weishi’s path a little smoother, and got overwhelmingly jealous over a meaningless WeChat account.
He felt like he was no longer himself.
And he realized that so-called emotional defense line had long since disappeared.
If he had to describe what love looked like, it would probably be your emotions being completely controlled by someone else.
And for men, there were also subtle physical reactions that were hard to control.
While Zhong Weishi took deep breaths of oxygen, he blinked, appearing to gaze at Gu Lizhou affectionately. But in reality, he was oxygen-deprived and his brain was still frozen.
The kitchen filled with the scent of pork rib rice, wave after wave. His stomach grumbled.
Gu Lizhou’s arms were still tightly wrapped around his back.
“Hungry, ah?”
Zhong Weishi nodded, but he didn’t want to move. Not at all. He just wanted to stay in this embrace.
His arms tightened, and he rubbed his chin twice against the man’s neck before blatantly planting two kisses there.
He heard Gu Lizhou laughing, and without even looking, he knew just how attractive and captivating that smile was.
His senses gradually returned, and his memory became clearer.
A reality he had never dared to hope for was now right in front of him: Gu Lizhou liked him.
Liked him madly.
Just like how they had just madly exchanged breaths.
It was enough to make his legs go weak.
He finally understood how Uncle Cao must have felt when he and his girlfriend were all over each other.
It was the urge to possess, the need to release emotions.
Kissing someone you like wasn’t disgusting at all. In fact, it was kind of romantic.
And when Gu Lizhou’s tongue lightly touched the seam of his lips, everything unfolded naturally. His mind went blank, and the deepest impression left behind was softness.
If kissing didn’t exist in this world, he probably would’ve never known that a person’s tongue could be so soft, so flexible.
No one was counting how long they kissed. All they knew was that the piano music upstairs had changed from one song to another, and the two of them, like a pair of playful cats, rolled around the couch, entangled in kisses.
During that time, all his past grievances, confusion, and melancholy dissipated like smoke.
Seeing that he still had no intention of getting up, Gu Lizhou raised an eyebrow slightly and reached out to squish his face into a bun.
“Still want to go again?”
This time, Zhong Weishi didn’t ask for permission before leaning down and giving him a quick kiss. He grinned, “Can I kiss you without filing a report from now on?”
Gu Lizhou laughed so hard his chest rose and fell, making the person lying on top of him tremble all over along with him.
“Have you been wanting to kiss me for a long time?”
Zhong Weishi got a little embarrassed by that and shot back, “What about you?”
“Why else do you think I came back?” Gu Lizhou said as he scratched at his waist.
Zhong Weishi stifled a laugh, twisting into a flailing caterpillar, then buried his face in Gu Lizhou’s neck and muttered, “Actually, me too… it’s been a while… so long I can’t even remember when it started… probably before you left.”
His lips were pressed right against Gu Lizhou’s ear, every syllable he spoke lightly brushing against the outer rim, making it ticklish and tingly.
“Sometimes having too much charm is a burden, ah. Everyone around me ends up falling helplessly in love. But there’s only one of me.”
“Shameless.” Zhong Weishi bit down on the base of his ear, his teeth gently rubbing twice.
Gu Lizhou kept going: “But starting today, I’m yours. Just yours.”
Zhong Weishi froze for a second, then bashfully buried himself in his shoulder and giggled like a fool. “You said it, ah. No take-backs. If you go back on your word, I’ll chop you up.”
Gu Lizhou let out a puff of laughter and patted his lower back. “If you don’t get off me now, it’s not just going to stop at kissing, ah.”
Zhong Weishi instantly sprang up from the couch. “Food! I’m starving!”
Gu Lizhou lowered his head and chuckled quietly.
That step had taken so much effort that his heartbeat still hadn’t calmed down.
Zhong Weishi was bustling around in the kitchen, even humming a light, cheerful English song. He looked happy, full of energy.
“Just wait a little, the soup’s almost done!” he called out while tending to the pot, turning back now and then to glance at Gu Lizhou.
Whenever their eyes met, they shared a smile full of mutual understanding.
Outside, the sky was gradually darkening.
Gu Lizhou got up and turned on the light, then slowly wandered into the kitchen. His gaze stayed fixed on Zhong Weishi, scanning him openly, with no intention of holding back.
He hugged the boy from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder, his expression tender, just about to whisper a few romantic lines.
But then Zhong Weishi raised his hand and slammed down on a garlic clove; startling him so much he nearly bit his tongue.
All traces of romance instantly vanished.
Gu Lizhou propped his chin up and retreated from the danger zone.
Once the food was ready, the scent wafted out and attracted the little calico cat Cao Zhiheng had recently adopted. The little thing tilted its head up at the table and meowed incessantly.
The cat had been found near a trash bin. It was drizzling that day when Zhong Weishi went downstairs to throw out the garbage and spotted it by accident.
If it had been the past, he might’ve given it a bit of food and then pretended not to see it. After all, it was already hard enough feeding himself, let alone a cat.
But things were different now.
The cat didn’t run or hide when he approached, just curled up weakly under a plastic bag, and Zhong Weishi ended up bringing it home.
Cao Zhiheng’s girlfriend had instantly fallen in love with it and scooped it up into her arms. Now, the cat was practically the little overlord of Lanshan Apartments. Wherever there was food, it showed up. It mostly lived in the cat bed right outside unit 303 and would occasionally stir up trouble for Old Cao, like batting his freshly made props off the table onto the floor.
Gu Lizhou tore off a bit of rib meat and tossed it to the cat. After finishing, the little thing jumped straight onto his lap, meowing.
A few cute little paw prints immediately appeared on his black pants.
Gu Lizhou scratched its chin and said, “Call me Dad.”
“Why are you so obsessed with being a dad?” Zhong Weishi said while gnawing on a rib.
The kitten let out a perfectly timed meow.
“What, jealous? Don’t want Dad having a second child?”
A bone hit him square on the forehead.
“Talk properly. Stop throwing things. Who taught you that?”
“I learned it from you.”
Gu Lizhou patted the cat’s head. “Look, your little brother is very well-behaved.” He lifted the kitten for a look. “Oh wait, your little sister.”
“Are you gonna eat or not?” Zhong Weishi tapped the edge of his bowl.
“Eating.” Gu Lizhou placed the kitten back on the floor, brushed off his pant legs, and got up to wash his hands. “Are you jealous of your little sister? Just admit it. Dad will spoil you more from now on.”
As he passed by, Gu Lizhou scratched Zhong Weishi’s chin, only to get bitten irritably.
“You do that again and I won’t go easy on you, ah.” Gu Lizhou pinched his jaw.
“What are you gonna do?” Zhong Weishi looked up at him.
“All kinds of not going easy.” Gu Lizhou flicked his forehead hard.
A loud pop.
A faint red mark appeared on his forehead.
“Aw.” Zhong Weishi rubbed his head. “You’re always committing domestic violence.”
It was Gu Lizhou’s first time eating braised pork ribs with rice. He had no frame of reference for how it should taste. He just simply thought it was delicious. But even if he had something to compare it to, he felt that nothing could top this.
Because it had fused deeply with the taste of his first kiss.
From now on, every time he ate ribs with rice, he would definitely think of today.
Under the table, the kitten was circling around, its tail flicking up and brushing against Zhong Weishi’s leg. After a while, it plopped its butt down onto his slipper.
Zhong Weishi had no choice but to give up the slipper and reached out with his foot to hook onto Gu Lizhou’s instead.
And just like that, the four legs tangled together.
Halfway through the meal, Zhong Weishi suddenly looked up and asked, “Ge, have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“Nope.”
“No way?” Zhong Weishi was shocked.
“Why would I lie?” Gu Lizhou replied honestly. “Work used to keep me busy. I didn’t have time to think about love. And once I passed a certain age, being single actually felt pretty nice…” He looked straight into Zhong Weishi’s eyes. “Until I met you.”
“Oh…” Zhong Weishi giggled. “Then your first kiss was with me too, ah.”
Gu Lizhou gave a rare shy nod. He thought the kid was about to praise his kissing skills, but instead the other said, “You’re 32 and that was your first? I’m impressed. If you hadn’t met me, you probably would’ve died alone.”
“…………” Nothing good ever came out of that mouth. Gu Lizhou bit down on a piece of cartilage with a loud crack.
A person who can turn even a confession into profanity shouldn’t be trusted.
Next door, Uncle Cao hadn’t seen the kitten even after dinnertime, so he came around with its food bowl, knocking as he went. The kitten, upon hearing the sound, immediately knew food was coming and darted out like a shot.
Cao Zhiheng also had a bag of cherries in his hand and wanted to ask if the old man and the child in unit 301 wanted any. As he reached the window and glanced in out of habit, his footsteps suddenly froze.
The shock of what he saw made Cao Zhiheng instinctively duck and hide.
That old beast was kissing the kid!
Absolutely eye-burning.
Clutching his eyes, Cao Zhiheng crouched down and hunched his way back to his apartment.
“Old Gu! I need to seriously, solemnly warn you that this can’t go on! Didn’t you say it yourself? He’s just a kid! What are you doing with a kid?!”
“Your father and mother would be disappointed! Your friends and relatives would be disappointed too!”
“Look at yourself now. Are you even a man anymore? Huh?”
“What are you laughing at? Does your expression mean you’re questioning what I’m saying?!”
Sitting across from him was the little calico cat, staring blankly at its owner, occasionally lifting a paw to lick its toes.
Cao Zhiheng typed out his carefully worded speech in the notes app. Otherwise, he feared he wouldn’t be able to argue with Gu Lizhou.
But facts proved that even with all his preparation, going head-to-head with Gu Lizhou’s mouth was like throwing an egg at a rock.
“He’s just a kid! What are you doing with a kid?!”
“Kissed him,” Gu Lizhou said calmly. “And he’s already an adult, okay.”
“Who was it who yelled on the street that he was just a little kid and didn’t know anything?””
“That was last year. He’s grown up now.”
Cao Zhiheng was so infuriated by his shamelessness that he sucked in a sharp breath.
“If you really want to date, it’s not like I can stop you, but as your childhood friend, I have to remind you of a few things. He’s just in his early twenties, basically a little kid. He probably thinks you’re fun and new, you treat him well, so he sees you as someone to rely on. But have you thought about the future? Ten years from now, you’ll be over forty, and he’ll still be in his prime!”
“So what if I’m over forty?” Gu Lizhou shrugged indifferently.
“When I was twenty, I used to wonder what I’d do when I hit thirty. But once I actually turned thirty, what changed? Life still goes on, doesn’t it? Is it really that different? And besides, I don’t feel mentally old at all. It’s your mindset that ages first—that’s what really makes you old.”
Cao Zhiheng sighed and glanced down at his notes app.
“Fine, let’s move to the next point. What if he becomes famous one day? With all the people and flings and eye candy in that world throwing themselves at him. Can he resist that? Once he’s famous, he’ll be surrounded by people treating him well, caring for him, offering him everything. Can you really stay by his side all the time? Especially with how chaotic the entertainment industry is now. Not just men and women, but even men with men…”
Gu Lizhou leaned against the railing, cigarette between his lips. When he smiled, a thin trail of smoke escaped from his mouth.
“With all that worst-case-scenario planning of yours, no one should bother dating at all. Your girlfriend works in a foreign company, right? All her bosses are Westerners—tall, muscular, blond-haired, blue-eyed, and very gentlemanly. You’re just a traditional, middle-aged, conservative straight guy. Can you even compare?”
“That’s twisting the argument!” Cao Zhiheng snapped. “At least we can get legally married. She’s not some celebrity, just working in an office and fewer temptations there.”
Gu Lizhou laughed even harder, snapping back, “Sure, I admit getting a marriage certificate is a sacred process, but what can a piece of paper really bind? You think the divorce rate’s low these days? Even my parents got divorced.”
He clicked his tongue and continued, “Now that I think about it, dating a man isn’t bad at all. No marital obligations, no shared property nad love is just love, clean and open, with no expectations of the other person.”
There was just no reasoning with a man like Gu Lizhou.
As they talked, the conversation gradually turned into a full-blown debate on love.
Cao Zhiheng couldn’t understand how this gloomy old man could be so confident and composed in this “defense of love” battle.
He was so blindly optimistic it was almost inhuman!
“You really think your parents would be okay with you dating a guy?”
“They didn’t ask for my opinion when they got divorced, so why can’t I choose who I want to be with?”
Cao Zhiheng was getting more fired up: “There’s a generation gap every three years and between you two, that’s three generation gaps! Even if you could do the splits, you wouldn’t be able to bridge that!”
Gu Lizhou remained calm and relaxed: “Being with him makes me feel ten years younger, so the gap doesn’t feel that big. Besides, no matter how tempting the world is, is it more attractive than my personal charm?”
Truly, honest words are the hardest to hear.
Cao Zhiheng raised both hands in defeat. “If you won’t believe me, I won’t bother anymore. It’s not me who’s going to get hurt or dumped in the end.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you.” Gu Lizhou patted his shoulder. “I know you mean well. I also know my own limits.”
“What limits?”
“My limit is that I’ll hold on till the end.”
“…”
Love really does make people brain-dead.
The evening breeze blew gently. The ember on Gu Lizhou’s cigarette glowed and dimmed with the wind. He took one last drag, then put it out.
“When I’m with him, I’m really happy.”
Cao Zhiheng curled his lips but didn’t say anything more.
When Gu Lizhou came back inside, Zhong Weishi had already washed the whole big bag of cherries. His mouth was stuffed full, and he mumbled unclearly, “Did Uncle Cao figure out we’re together? I saw him glancing at me several times just now.”
“Yeah.” Gu Lizhou pulled a few stems away from the corner of his mouth.
Zhong Weishi blinked. “What did he say? Is he against it?”
Gu Lizhou smiled. “He told me to keep a close eye on you, said if you ever blow up and get super famous, don’t go running off with someone else.”
“I won’t.” Zhong Weishi scooted closer to Gu Lizhou. “I promise. If I do, you can have someone break my leg.”
“Which leg?”
Zhong Weishi was about to say, “Whichever,” but when he saw the amused look Gu Lizhou couldn’t hide, he cursed, “You’re such a pervert, ah.”
“How, ah, does that make me a pervert? What did I even say?”
“You just are, anyway.”
Gu Lizhou didn’t pursue the “breaking legs” topic any further. After all, that would be illegal.
“He also said there’s a big age gap between us, that we’re from different generations. Do you think we have a generation gap?”
Of course they did. A huge one.
But this wasn’t the moment to speak the truth, ah…
Zhong Weishi patted his shoulder. “Don’t feel insecure. You’re actually my ideal type. How do I put it… when I talk to you, it’s like we’re living on two different planets. It’s a really fun experience.”
“…” Gu Lizhou clenched his teeth, seething with silent frustration.
Zhong Weishi chuckled and leaned over to peek at his phone screen, seeing it open to an online shopping page. “What are you trying to buy?”
“Face masks.”
“Pfft.”
“What’s so funny? Your Dad here has decided to start taking care of himself. When you’re 20, I’ll be 30. When you’re 30, I’ll still be 30. When you’re 40, hey, hey, I’ll still be 30~”
“You immortal freak.”
Zhong Weishi lifted two cherries to his mouth, but the immortal freak turned away without eating them.
“You don’t like them? They’re really sweet, just try one!”
“What do you have a mouth for?”
“To eat, ah.”
“…”
Zhong Weishi caught on from Gu Lizhou’s suggestive side-eye. He grinned, bit a cherry stem, and leaned in.
Gu Lizhou turned his head and pinched his cheeks with both hands.
Zhong Weishi was still young, and even without any skin care, his skin felt like a baby’s; smooth and elastic.
Gu Lizhou gently pinched outward, and in an instant, the boy’s face turned into a little steamed bun.
Then he bit down on the cherry.
It really was sweet.
Zhong Weishi started giggling, and Gu Lizhou couldn’t help but laugh along with him.
For him, love had never been without reason.
That handsome face, bubbly personality, unwavering beliefs, kind nature, and that contagious smile…
Every trait was a bonus.
Even his lack of brains was kind of adorable.
The boy’s youthful energy was like a beam of light, tearing through the fog and making Gu Lizhou’s world brighter.
Zhong Weishi felt his breath getting closer and instinctively closed his eyes.
Forehead, brow, nose bridge, lips, chin…
With every touch, a chubby pink heart popped up beside his head.