Jiang Tongyan said, “There are a lot of problems that need to be solved.”
When he said this, Qian Xiaoke was eating ice cream.
It was winter in the north, with cold winds howling outside, but the house was warm as spring. Sitting on the sofa, watching TV while eating ice cream was practically a god-tier life.
“What problems?” Qian Xiaoke asked. His mouth was smeared with cream as he tilted his head up. “Husband, wipe my mouth for me.”
Jiang Tongyan worked without complaint, pulling out a tissue to wipe his mouth.
“Slow down,” Jiang Tongyan scolded him. “That’s the third one already. Are you sure your stomach won’t hurt?”
“It won’t!” Qian Xiaoke said proudly. “When I was younger, I could eat five in one go!”
After wiping his mouth, Jiang Tongyan smiled and pinched his cheek. “You’re still young now.”
Qian Xiaoke pursed his lips and smiled, continuing to lean against him while eating his ice cream.
“Didn’t you say there were problems to solve just now?” Qian Xiaoke touched his stomach. “I’m not aborting the kid.”
Jiang Tongyan chuckled softly. “No one asked you to abort anything. What are you thinking?”
Qian Xiaoke licked his lips. “Then what is it?”
“You tell me,” Jiang Tongyan said, rubbing his stomach as if Qian Xiaoke were really pregnant. “Which of those houses did you actually like?”
After New Year’s Day, Jiang Tongyan had taken Qian Xiaoke to look at several houses.
One was in their current residential complex, measuring a little over 200 square meters. It was barely acceptable. The reason it was barely acceptable was that Jiang Tongyan thought 200 square meters was far too small. In his view, it had to start at three hundred at a minimum. To this, Qian Xiaoke commented, “You rich people are really outrageous.”
In addition to this house, another one was near the company. The neighbourhood facilities were average, but the layout was great. Jiang Tongyan especially liked the large balcony. When they went to see the place, he even started imagining himself and Qian Xiaoke doing this and that out on the balcony.
But compared to those two, the one Jiang Tongyan liked the most was a villa in the suburbs. Three stories, over five hundred square meters, with small yards in both the front and back. They could grow flowers and plants together. It was quite romantic. This place could be called Jiang Tongyan’s dream house. The only problem was that it was too far from the company. If they moved there, commuting every day would take over three hours round-trip. Normally, that might be manageable, but if Jiang Tongyan went on a business trip one day, and Qian Xiaoke still couldn’t drive, even getting a taxi there would be difficult. It would be very troublesome.
Three houses, each with its own pros and cons.
Jiang Tongyan explained his thoughts to Qian Xiaoke and then handed the final decision over to him.
“You’re the one spending the money,” Qian Xiaoke said. “You decide.”
“All good men listen to their wives,” Jiang Tongyan said. “You choose. Pick the one you like most.”
How should he put it?
Qian Xiaoke liked all of them.
But liking them was one thing. He also liked Daniel Wu.
Qian Xiaoke licked the ice cream stick and fell into deep thought.
“What are you thinking about?” Jiang Tongyan leaned over and bit Qian Xiaoke’s cheek.
“The house thing is still up to you,” Qian Xiaoke said, biting the stick and looking at him. “But there’s something else I want to discuss.”
“Go on.”
“The New Year holiday is coming up,” Qian Xiaoke tilted his head at him. “Where are you spending it? Going back to the U.S.? Or to your grandparents’ place?”
That reminded Jiang Tongyan.
“I almost forgot about that,” he said. “What about you? What are your plans?”
“Me?” Qian Xiaoke pursed his lips. “Of course I’m going home for the New Year. I heard you foreigners don’t celebrate Spring Festival.”
“I’m not a foreigner, I just grew up over there.” Jiang Tongyan said, clutching his chest and starting to sing ‘My Chinese Heart’ to him.
“Then where are you spending the New Year?”
Jiang Tongyan actually hadn’t planned it.
When he was abroad, he rarely celebrated the Lunar New Year. There was no holiday for it. At most, he would go home at night and boil some dumplings just for the occasion. Now that he was back in China, logically he should spend it with his grandparents. But the two elderly people had been taken on a trip by Jiang Tongyan’s parents some time ago and wouldn’t be back until after the New Year.
Jiang Tongyan had become a left-behind ‘child’.
“Wife,” Jiang Tongyan said, wrapping his arms around Qian Xiaoke’s waist. “I’m so miserable.”
“…What’s wrong?”
“In a little while, you’ll leave and go home for a family reunion,” Jiang Tongyan fake-cried while hugging him. “I’ll be left alone, guarding an empty room. I’m so pitiful.”
Qian Xiaoke was completely confused. “How are you guarding an empty room? Aren’t you going to your grandparents’ place?”
“They went travelling with my parents. They won’t be back until after the New Year.” Jiang Tongyan was deeply committed to the bit. He released Qian Xiaoke, held his shoulders, and said dramatically, “Wife, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me. You just need to take good care of yourself and our child. I’ll stay here and wait for you to come back.”
“…Jiang Tongyan, that’s enough,” Qian Xiaoke said, lifting a hand to scratch his chin. “What I wanted to say was, if you don’t mind, you can come home with me for the New Year.”
When Jiang Tongyan heard that, he was immediately displeased. “What are you talking about?”
“Huh?”
Was it not okay? If he didn’t want to, then forget it.
“What do you mean ‘don’t mind’?” Jiang Tongyan slapped his thigh. “I’m immensely honoured, all right! Arrange it, arrange it immediately. When did you usually start your holiday in previous years? This year we’ll start earlier, two days earlier. As soon as we’re on holiday, we leave!”
Using power for personal gain, exploiting public resources for private benefit.
Jiang Tongyan was an expert at that.
And so, this year, Qian Xiaoke ended up with the longest Spring Festival holiday of his life. With his wealthy husband in tow, they first took the high-speed train and then a long-distance bus, finally arriving at the gate of the small rural courtyard where his family lived.
Qian Xiaoke said, “You’ve never been to the countryside before, have you?”
He really hadn’t.
Jiang Tongyan found everything fresh and novel. Looking at the chickens in the yard, he asked, “Aren’t they cold?”
“Probably,” Qian Xiaoke said. “That little shed over there should be for them.”
In truth, Qian Xiaoke didn’t know either.
Before his parents suddenly moved here, he himself had never come to the countryside. Still, the place was fun because he could chase chickens, which was very entertaining.
Wearing padded gloves, he grabbed the iron gate and shook it hard, shouting inside, “Open the door! Open the door! Stop hiding inside and pretending you’re not there! I know you’re home!”
He yelled for quite a while before someone finally came out.
Standing beside him, Jiang Tongyan was nervous to the extreme. He suddenly understood why Qian Xiaoke had been so frightened when he had first met Jiang Tongyan’s parents.
Now it was his turn to meet his parents-in-law. He was panicking.
Qian Xiaoke’s mother had been inside cracking sunflower seeds. When she heard someone outside shouting nonsense, she thought Qian Xiaoke’s father must have secretly borrowed money from loan sharks and that the creditors had come to collect the debt. But when she opened the door, it turned out to be her own child.
“What are you shouting for like that?” she said. “Isn’t there a doorbell?”
Qian Xiaoke turned his head and only then noticed that there really was a doorbell.
There hadn’t been one the last time he came back!
This had definitely been installed recently.
Jiang Tongyan silently complained to himself: Was this really Qian Xiaoke’s home? Forget not having a key; he didn’t even know where the doorbell was. Had he been kicked out of this family or what?
As if to prove that her son hadn’t been kicked out, Qian Xiaoke’s mother came out and opened the door, pulled her son into her arms, and kissed him on the cheek. “Why have you gained weight? Haven’t you been working properly?”
Qian Xiaoke pouted. “Don’t say I’ve gotten fat!”
Jiang Tongyan snickered at the side. He had meant to keep a low profile, but he accidentally let out a laugh.
Only then did Qian Xiaoke’s mother look at Jiang Tongyan, who was standing there.
Qian Xiaoke pulled Jiang Tongyan over and introduced him. “This is my partner.”
“Hello, Auntie,” Jiang Tongyan said, behaving with extreme obedience, almost exactly like Qian Xiaoke when he had first met Jiang Tongyan’s parents.
However, Qian Xiaoke’s mother fell silent.
“Mom, what’s that look supposed to mean?”
It was strange.
Both Qian Xiaoke and his mother thought it was strange.
Qian Xiaoke thought her expression was strange.
His mother thought it was strange that her son had actually found a boyfriend, and such a handsome one at that.
“Hello, hello,” she said, sizing up the tall, handsome young man in front of her. “You’re xiao Jiang?”
“Yes,” Jiang Tongyan said very politely. “My name is Jiang Tongyan. I’m Xiaoke’s… boyfriend.”
When Qian Xiaoke had told his mother on the phone that he was bringing his boyfriend home, she had said, “Don’t fool people.”
Who would have thought he really brought one back?
“Mom, we’re cold.”
“Oh, right, hurry inside.” Only then did Qian Xiaoke’s mother snap back to herself and quickly usher the two kids into the house.
It had snowed a while ago, and someone in the yard had built an especially ugly snowman.
Qian Xiaoke asked, “Who built that? It’s so ugly!”
“Your dad did.”
Qian Xiaoke said, “Very artistic!”
Jiang Tongyan laughed inwardly: So you know how to do face-changing too.
A chicken blocked Jiang Tongyan’s path. One man and one chicken stared at each other, and Jiang Tongyan stopped in his tracks.
Qian Xiaoke and his mother were walking ahead and didn’t notice anything happening behind them at all. After all, who would imagine that a grown man nearly 1.9 meters tall would be afraid of a hen?
Jiang Tongyan sidestepped to the right, and the chicken followed.
He sidestepped to the left, and the chicken followed again.
Jiang Tongyan thought to himself: Are you trying to kill me?!
Walking ahead, Qian Xiaoke suddenly felt like something was missing. When he turned around, he discovered that his beloved husband was actually locked in a standoff with a chicken.
“What are you doing?” Qian Xiaoke called out. “You can come out and play with the chicken later. Get inside and warm up first.”
Jiang Tongyan thought: I want to go inside too, but the problem is that it won’t let me.
Why was this chicken more protective of the house than a dog?
Seeing that he wasn’t moving, Qian Xiaoke pursed his lips. “Hurry up, hurry up, it’s so cold!”
Jiang Tongyan went all in. After all, Qian Xiaoke’s mother had turned around to look at him too.
It was fine to embarrass himself in front of his wife, but he absolutely could not embarrass himself in front of his mother-in-law.
Holding his breath and mustering his courage, Jiang Tongyan lifted his long leg and stepped over the hen’s head.
The hen clucked twice and ran off elsewhere.
Jiang Tongyan let out a breath of relief, hurried over, and smiled as he apologised to his mother-in-law.
Qian Xiaoke truly was his mother’s son. The two of them shared one thing in common: they liked handsome men.
As long as Jiang Tongyan was good-looking, everything could be forgiven.
“Come on, go inside,” Qian Xiaoke’s mother said with a warm smile. “You two haven’t eaten yet, have you? I’ll stew a chicken for you later!”
Very good.
Stewed chicken.
Jiang Tongyan glanced back at the chicken that had just frightened him and sneered inwardly: You’re finished. Very soon, you’ll be eaten by me.
Petty Jiang Tongyan felt a surge of vindictive satisfaction rise in his heart.
They went inside, and Qian Xiaoke shouted, “Qian Daguo! Your precious son is back!”
Qian Daguo.
Qian Xiaoke.
You could really tell they were father and son just from hearing the names.
Jiang Tongyan grew nervous again, worried that his father-in-law might not like him.
In fact, he was worrying a bit too much.
Qian Xiaoke’s father had been inside listening to crosstalk while shelling peanuts for his wife. When he heard his son’s voice outside, he was quite surprised.
The door opened, and Qian Xiaoke, bundled up thickly like a zongzi, ran in cheerfully.
“Long time no see, sir!”
Qian Daguo still had peanut kernels resting in his palm. He turned his head to look and said, “Who are you?”
Qian Xiaoke’s delicate body trembled. He turned back to his mother and asked, “Has my dad lost his memory?”
“No,” his mother said. “It’s because you’ve gotten fat.”
Very heartbreaking.
Qian Xiaoke almost wanted to howl at the sky: I really haven’t gained that much weight! Can you not exaggerate so much!
Qian Xiaoke’s father spotted the tall, handsome man standing behind at a glance. Although Jiang Tongyan and Qian Xiaoke were usually quite improper when together, in public they both had an outstanding presence, making it hard not to notice Jiang Tongyan.
“This is my boyfriend.” Qian Xiaoke pulled Jiang Tongyan over, hooked his arm through his, and even leaned his head against him as he said sweetly, “He’s already proposed to me.”
“Hello, Uncle.”
Qian Xiaoke’s father carefully looked Jiang Tongyan up and down, then turned back to ask Qian Xiaoke, “You spent a lot of money, right?”
“Huh? What?” Qian Xiaoke was confused.
“How much did you pay to hire him?” his father said. “That handsome, he must be pretty expensive, right?”
Well then. He had taken Jiang Tongyan for a fake boyfriend he had rented.
“Oh come on!” Qian Xiaoke stomped his feet in grievance. “We’re real! What is wrong with you two?”
Was he really their biological son?
How could parents doubt their own son’s ability to pick up men like this?
Jiang Tongyan stood to the side, holding back laughter, not saying a word, just enjoying the show.
He found Qian Xiaoke’s parents genuinely interesting, and it was no wonder they had raised someone as interesting as Qian Xiaoke.
After a round of explanations from Qian Xiaoke, his parents finally accepted the fact that their son, who was good at nothing and ranked first in causing trouble, had really found a boyfriend who was highly educated, good-looking, and from a well-off family.
“Incredible,” Qian Xiaoke’s mother said. “How did a little unlucky thing like you get such good luck in this kind of matter?”
Qian Xiaoke said smugly, “Probably because I’m cute.”
The first meal that cute Qian Xiaoke and his boyfriend had after coming home was chicken stewed with mushrooms. Unfortunately, the chicken Jiang Tongyan ate was not the one that had scared him earlier, but one that Qian Xiaoke’s father had gone out to buy. As for why they had to go out and buy chicken when they raised chickens themselves, his father explained it like this:
“The ones in the yard are pets we raise at home,” Comrade Qian Daguo said. “How can pets be stewed and eaten?”
Qian Xiaoke was stunned, once again marvelling at the powerful logic of his parents.
In any case, the meal was eaten very happily.
After eating and drinking their fill, Jiang Tongyan and Qian Xiaoke, a pair of clumsy fellows, helped clean up and even proactively offered to wash the dishes. Still, they were chased out to play by Qian Xiaoke’s mother.
Already thirty and still being treated like kids was rather embarrassing.
They said it was embarrassing, but their bodies were very honest.
Qian Xiaoke and Jiang Tongyan put on their coats and went out for a walk.
The small village where Qian Xiaoke’s parents now lived actually had quite a nice environment, with few people, quiet, and clean.
The two of them strolled leisurely along the small path. Qian Xiaoke said, “To be honest, I haven’t really come out for walks much either.”
While they were out walking, they received a call from Qian Xiaoke’s mother and were given orders to go buy soy sauce from the small supermarket at the village entrance.
Haitian soy sauce, the biggest bottle.
Qian Xiaoke asked, “Will it be reimbursed?”
“Ask again, and I’ll crack your head open.”
Look at that. What a terrifying mother.
Jiang Tongyan listened with a broad smile as Qian Xiaoke bickered with his mother on the phone, only daring to laugh out loud after Qian Xiaoke hung up.
“What are you laughing at?”
“At how cute you are, and how cute your family is.” Jiang Tongyan thought of how Qian Xiaoke’s father had kept sneaking glances at him during the meal, and later, taking advantage of a moment when no one was paying attention, had come over with a stern face to tell him that he absolutely had to dote on their Xiaoke properly. Thinking about it, he felt that this whole family was truly adorable.
‘Cuteness’ was really one of the most precious qualities in the world. Being able to meet them, Jiang Tongyan felt he was truly a bit too lucky.
Qian Xiaoke said, “Will you feel uncomfortable spending the Spring Festival here?”
Jiang Tongyan took hold of Qian Xiaoke’s hand, which was wrapped in thick cotton gloves, and said, “You’re here. How could I possibly feel uncomfortable?”
===========
Jiang Tongyan had not properly celebrated the Spring Festival for many years. Back when his grandparents were still living abroad with them, the elders had taken the holiday very seriously. When Chinese New Year came around, they would still insist that everyone make dumplings with a strong sense of ritual and watch the Spring Festival Gala together. But later, with Jiang Tongyan busy at work and his grandparents returning to China to spend the New Year there, he had completely lost any sense of ‘New Year atmosphere’ over the past few years.
Early on New Year’s Eve, Jiang Tongyan and Qian Xiaoke were dragged out of bed to hang lanterns and paste couplets. The lanterns were bought at the village entrance, while Qian Xiaoke’s father handwrote the couplets.
Top line: Get rich, get rich, get very rich.
Bottom line: Prosperous blessings, prosperous blessings, blessings for the whole family.
Horizontal scroll: My family is really great.
Qian Xiaoke stared at the couplets, his head full of question marks.
“Dad, are you sure you really want to paste these up?” Wasn’t it a bit overly ridiculous?
“Paste them,” Qian Daguo said proudly, hands on his hips. “Don’t you think my brush calligraphy is written really well?”
The handwriting was genuinely good. After all, he had practised seriously. As for the wording…
Fine then.
Qian Xiaoke exchanged a glance with Jiang Tongyan. They decided to humour his dad and make him happy. Paste them.
The two of them obediently put up the couplets. Jiang Tongyan then pulled Qian Xiaoke over to take a selfie in front of the door and posted it to his Moments, visible only to Cheng Sen and Shen Huiming.
Another snowfall came down, making this Spring Festival feel even more atmospheric.
Under Qian Xiaoke’s mother’s rallying cry, the family of four held a ‘snowman-building competition’. They split into pairs, and the losing team would be responsible for making dumplings that night.
Naturally, Qian Xiaoke’s parents formed one team, and the two younger ones formed the other.
Normally, a game like this was not something to take seriously. You were supposed to let the parents win and make them happy. But neither Qian Xiaoke nor Jiang Tongyan knew how to make dumplings, so for everyone’s sake and to ensure a good New Year, they could only give it their all and defeat the older couple.
That said, Qian Xiaoke’s father truly had an impressive artistic foundation. The snowman he built was so abstract that, if he did not say it was a snowman, no one would have guessed.
After the snowmen were finished, Qian Xiaoke’s parents went back inside to warm up, leaving the two kids to continue playing in the yard.
They were both thirty years old, yet they were making a racket like children.
Qian Xiaoke and Jiang Tongyan had a snowball fight in the yard covered in thick snow, chasing each other around like idiots.
Running along with them were several chickens. Qian Xiaoke ran in front, Jiang Tongyan behind him, and right on Jiang Tongyan’s heels was a plump hen clucking nonstop.
The scene was absurdly comical.
In the end, both of them worked up a sweat and went back inside to change clothes.
On New Year’s Eve night, eating the reunion dinner and watching a Spring Festival Gala full of things to complain about turned out to be great fun.
After they had eaten and drunk their fill, Qian Xiaoke’s father took the two of them into the yard to set off fireworks. Jiang Tongyan was clumsy and even burned a hole in his sweater.
Once they had played enough, Qian Xiaoke’s father was called back inside by his mother to make dumplings. At midnight, they would sit around the television to see who would bite into a dumpling hiding a coin or a sugar ball.
Left in the yard with nothing to do were Qian Xiaoke and Jiang Tongyan. The two of them squatted by the doorway, drawing little figures in the snow and murmuring sweet, overly affectionate words to each other.
Qian Xiaoke said, “In the new year, I hope I can learn more things and not hold you back.”
Jiang Tongyan shamelessly replied, “Learn more things? Bed skills?”
Then he was pecked on the butt by a chicken that suddenly appeared.
Startled, Jiang Tongyan fell straight into the snow, getting a mouthful of it.
Qian Xiaoke laughed so hard he completely lost all sense of decorum just as he was about to mock Jiang Tongyan, the other man grabbed him in one motion and pulled him into his arms.
The two of them lay in the snow and started fooling around again, rolling back and forth, back and forth, like two complete idiots.
Qian Xiaoke’s mother stood by the window watching outside and said to her husband, “Our son is…”
“A man who acts spoiled has the best fate,” Qian Xiaoke’s father said while wrapping dumplings. “A son who’s married off is like water that’s been spilt. I think we can skip giving him New Year’s money this year.”
Qian Daguo looked up and said to his wife, “Give it to me instead.”
[End]
T/N:
Qian Da(big) guo
Qian Xiao(small) ke
Basically everyone will one they are father and son because one is big and the other is small ꉂ(≧▽≦)
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