In order not to disturb the surrounding residents, the police immediately stuffed the group of people into the car.
One of the officers, before getting into the car, kindly walked up to Da Fei and gently asked, “Little girl, did they bully you just now? If they did, you can tell us.”
The group of people, who had just been put into the police car, were dumbfounded.
Da Fei had already prepared himself to be questioned in the car, but this sudden gentleness left his brain dizzy. The words “Thank you, uncle police officer” were about to burst out of his throat, but he swallowed them back down.
Only to see him shyly waved his arm and shook his head to indicate that everything was fine.
“As long as you’re okay,” The policeman nodded. “It’s late at night, girls shouldn’t stay out; it’s not safe.”
Da Fei was truly touched, and with tears in his eyes, he looked over at Zhong Weishi and the others, showing a helpless expression as if to say, “Don’t blame this brother for not going through water and treading on fire.”
Helplessness is helplessness, but being treated as a girl sure had its perks!
Qiangzi was the last to be caught. As he was being taken away, he still had the look of “I’m the boss around here” on his face, showing no fear of authority, “I was just taking my girlfriend for a walk, what’s wrong with that? Which law says I can’t take a walk here?”
“Stop talking nonsense! Which girlfriend?!” the police asked.
“Her!” Qiangzi pointed at Da Fei.
The kind police just a moment ago, turned his head.
Da Fei: “…”
In the end, the Xicheng District’s Express Debt Collection Team was completely rounded up, not a single one left behind.
Ten minutes later.
Inside the brightly lit Nanxia City substation of Yucheng’s police department, shadows moved about in the distance.
A dozen members of the so-called “organized crime group” were squatting against the wall, waiting to be questioned by the authorities.
Zhong Weishi looked utterly dejected, praying that this incident wouldn’t end up being a major colorful mark on his record.
Gu Lizhou still hadn’t fully grasped what had just happened.
Whether it was that the bed wasn’t comfortable enough or the TV shows weren’t entertaining enough, they had to carry out some sort of plan to arrest Er’Gou and end up in the police station themselves.
He rubbed his tired cheeks and looked around.
On the white walls hung bright red banners: “Eradicate organized crime, benefit the nation and the people, everyone has a responsibility to report criminal activities” and “Fight organized crime to ensure peace, build a better home for the people”…
Then he turned to look at the group of slackers around him—unkempt youths, who looked like they’d drill holes in their noses if they could. He suddenly felt the police might have had a point in bringing them all in together…
What the fvck is this if not extorting protection money!
“Do I look like a gangster?” Zhong Weishi was genuinely puzzled. In his whole life, he’d done all sorts of things, but never anything truly immoral.
Gu Lizhou thought to himself, you don’t look like a gangster, you look like a lunatic.
A slightly older policeman holding a teacup walked over, “What do you all do ah?”
The group instantly began squawking like parrots—shopping, taking a walk, going to the internet cafe, buying late-night snacks, there was a bit of everything…
Gu Lizhou was squatting next to Zhong Weishi when he suddenly heard him say, “Just passing by.”
“…” Did your IQ drop on the floor and you forgot to pick it up!
“One by one,” The one holding the teacup seemed ready for an all-night interrogation. He sat down slowly in a chair, smiling in an almost fatherly way.
A young officer at the side began taking notes.
“Let’s start with you.” The older officer pointed at Gu Lizhou. “What’s your name ah?”
“Gu Lizhou.”
“Where are you from ah?”
“Local.”
“And you?” The older officer gestured toward Zhong Weishi, firing off a string of questions.
Everyone except Zhong Weishi was local, all around 20 years old, the oldest being 26. Some were even students from nearby vocational schools who had skipped class.
By now, all the arrogance and hostility from earlier had vanished. Some of them were on the verge of kneeling down and kowtowing: “Please, please don’t tell my parents ah, uncle officer…”
“What about you? How old are you?” The police officer glanced at Gu Lizhou.
“32,” Gu Lizhou lowered his head, feeling a bit embarrassed.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” The older officer sighed. “At your age, you could technically be their guardian. So why are you causing trouble like this? Not sleeping in the middle of the night, running around someone else’s neighborhood—what were you planning to do? Were you the ringleader?”
“… Really wasn’t,” Gu Lizhou felt wronged but had no way to explain.
“Political affiliation?” The younger officer asked.
Gu Lizhou: “Party member.”
The older officer clicked his tongue several times in disappointment. “How dare you even say that.”
“Next, political affiliation,” The younger officer pointed at Zhong Weishi.
Zhong Weishi was still quietly conspiring with Qiangzi and the others when he caught the word “affiliation” and made brief eye contact with the officer. Brimming with confidence: “Extremely handsome.”
“Pffft—” The older police spit out a mouthful of liang cha.1Chinese herbal tea
All the people in the room laughed their heads off.
When it was Qiangzi’s turn: “I think I’m pretty handsome too, just slightly less than him.”
The younger officer laughed so hard his stomach hurt.
Zhong Weishi saw that Gu Lizhou had buried his face in his arms, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
“Laughing your ass off ah!”
“He was asking about your political affiliation. Are you a party member?” Gu Lizhou was struggling to catch his breath.
“I don’t know,” Zhong Weishi was a bit speechless. He figured Gu Lizhou would understand, so he turned to him and explained seriously, “I guess not? I really don’t know much about that.”
The group of people couldn’t stop laughing even more.
It was like the classroom scenario where you give a wrong answer and everyone takes turns mocking you. With his ears turning red, Zhong Weishi quickly corrected himself, “Fine, I’m a party member, okay?”
Gu Lizhou held his forehead, “Please stop.”
The officer, who had been laughing like a goose, finally caught his breath and started questioning again, “The one with the peony tattoo on his hand! What do you do for a living?”
“It’s a rose!” Huangfu Qiang retorted, straining his neck.
The officer corrected himself: “Okay, rose tattoo—what do you do for a living?!”
“…” Huangfu Qiang sighed, “Network Administrator.”
The police pointed to Zhong Weishi.
Zhong Weishi didn’t hesitate, “My main job is acting. On the side… I’m a model, a waiter, a campus errand runner, a food critic, and an ambassador for promoting agricultural products…”
“Agricultural products… how do you promote those?” Gu Lizhou was genuinely puzzled.
“They said I make food look really appetizing… so they have me shoot commercials ah, just eating, eating, eating. You know Wuniang Rice? My face is printed on the bag!” Zhong Weishi said excitedly.
The officer stared blankly. “So much? And you still have time to be on TV?”
Zhong Weishi replied, “Mr. Lu Xun2Lu Xun – He was a leading figure of modern Chinese literature. Writing in vernacular and Literary Chinese, he was a short story writer, editor, translator, literary critic, essayist, poet, and designer. once said, ‘Time is like water in a sponge; squeeze it, and you’ll have it.’”
“Next.” The police officer glanced at Gu Lizhou.
“Freelance.”
Zhong Weishi curiously perked up his ears.
The young officer was taken aback. “What kind of freelance work? There’s got to be some sort of range, right?”
“It’s undecided for now.” Gu Lizhou said.
Sure enough, he’s really some pretty boy being kept by someone?
Zhong Weishi sidled up to him with a grin, “So you’re unemployed ah? You should’ve told me earlier ah, I could have shared one of my jobs with you.”
Gu Lizhou felt it was laughable, “Thanks ah.”
“What are you laughing at! What’s so funny! You’re 32 years old, and still don’t even have a proper job. How dare you laugh?” The older officer, seeing how hopeless he seemed, couldn’t help but start lecturing him.
Everyone was snickering, even the female officer on duty pursed her lips and tried to hold back a smile.
Gu Lizhou really wanted to smugly fire back with, ‘One day of your salary doesn’t even match the interest I earn from my bank account, so what’s so NB about you’ But as the words reached the tip of his tongue, he swallowed them back down.
There is no need, really, no need to be angry.
Stay calm.
Keep your manners.
With so many people to question, and each person giving different stories, they weren’t making much progress after all this time.
Gu Lizhou’s legs were getting numb from squatting. He didn’t care whether the floor was clean or not and, like everyone else, sat down on the tile. Sneakily, he pulled out his phone and searched for that Wuniang Rice.
God knows why he was so curious.
When the images loaded, his shoulder shook as he laughed again, burying his head in the crook of his arm.
The boy squatting across from him inquired in a low voice, “What are you laughing at?”
Gu Lizhou put up his cell phone.
On the screen was a large yellow agricultural sack, with a poorly printed image in the center of a young boy with his mouth wide open, eating. Behind him, an old lady smiled contentedly as she looked at him.
Although Zhong Weishi had been quite young when he shot this ad, and the printing was fuzzy and difficult to recognize. Gu Lizhou recognized him right away by his eyes.
Several bowls of rice were P3Photoshopped in front of him.
The slogan was striking: “Kid won’t eat? Give them a beating? No! Get Wuniang!”
As he scrolled down, he discovered that the company had gone out of business two years ago.
Gu Lizhou took a screenshot of this photo and saved it.
Zhong Weishi’s ridiculous antics had become Gu Lizhou’s daily source of spiritual sustenance.
It was only after nine o’clock that the conversation finally turned to the climax.
“Scaling the wall and snuck into the neighborhood in the middle of the night just to find this Zhang Gou?”
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