Author: hoenimochi (Page 84 of 95)

       He Yunsheng had just finished speaking, and Xi Feng had already taken two steps to grab his mobile phone. Xi Feng hung up the phone and said, “Don’t call anyone. I can continue to take care of you tonight.”

       He Yunsheng didn’t take a step forward to fight over his phone but watched him and couldn’t help but sneer, “You? Taking care of me? Are you going to take care of me for the rest of your life?”

       Xi Feng was stunned when he heard the words, he rubbed He Yunsheng’s cell phone with his finger, and he couldn’t speak for a long while.

       He Yunsheng continued, “Do you feel sorry for me? Are you going to take care of me when I become an old man and become a lonely man?”

       “I…” Xi Feng could neither agree nor say no.

　　He Yunsheng felt somewhat powerless, “Xi Feng, I can’t get married, I will find a man I love to be with, and that’s the end for me. You’ve cared enough about me to go beyond being a friend, so let’s stop here.”

       After finishing speaking, He Yunsheng took his cell phone back from Xi Feng’s hand, did not redial the number. He just turned around and walked inside.

       Xi Feng stood in place for more than ten minutes, never getting the answer he wanted, and finally turned around despondently and left.

       He Yunsheng did not call anyone to accompany him and returned home alone, sitting on the sofa in silence for half an hour.

　　When brushing his teeth, He Yunsheng tried for a long time but failed to squeeze the toothpaste onto the toothbrush because he could only use one hand. He felt impatient and angry. He waved his hand, swept all the cups and toothbrushes on the sink to the ground, and slammed the marble countertop with his left hand fiercely.

       He was really tired of Xi Feng. If not for him, his life would not have been so bad!

       At work the next day, He Yunsheng went to ask the manager in charge for leave because he could not use one of his hands. Seeing that the National Day was a few days away, he simply took all his annual leave this year.

       The manager saw that he had hurt his hand, so he asked him to hand over the work and approved his leave.

       After applying for leave, He Yunsheng returned to the office and handed over his works with his colleagues. He went straight home on the same day and booked a flight and hotel online, intending to fly to Japan for vacation.

       Xi Feng only learned that He Yunsheng was on vacation that afternoon. He heard the news from his colleagues in the financial department. At that time, he was somewhat disappointed and frustrated. He went back to the office, took out his cell phone, and looked at He Yunsheng’s number for a long time but didn’t dial out.

       By now, he didn’t know that He Yunsheng was hiding from him, and he really felt like there was a screw loose on his head.

       When he left work in the afternoon, Xi Feng met Xu Qing in the elevator.

       Xu Qing stood in front, not looking at him from the start until his end. When the elevator reached the first floor and the door opened, Xu Qing raised her head and walked outside.

       Xi Feng looked at Xu Qing’s back, knowing that he would not be able to go back this time. No matter how much he said sorry, it would be useless. He knows he didn’t like Xu Qing enough. If he continues to be with each other, he will still be unable to avoid hurting each other, so it’s better to end it now.

       Thinking of this, Xi Feng suddenly thought of He Yunsheng, who didn’t want to get married. If you have to be with someone you don’t love, it will be a torture for each other for a long time.

       He went to work every day, went back home to eat, play online games and sleep.

       Xi Feng’s life was boring, but once he calmed down, all the things he thought about in his head were He Yunsheng. Even when he was dating in college, he never tossed and turned for a person.

       It lasted until the National Day holiday. On the eve of the holiday, his mother called and asked him if he wanted to go home. Xi Feng hesitated and said he couldn’t go back. Shortly after the end of the call, he received a call from his closest classmate in college, telling him he was getting married.

       Xi Feng was stunned at the time, “Why is it so sudden?”

       The classmate said, “It was decided suddenly, and I didn’t plan to do it at first. So I called to tell my good friends.”

       Xi Feng asked him quickly, “What day? I must come to the wedding.”

       The classmate smiled, “There really is no ceremony. We are just going to get the certificate before the holiday, and it’s over. If you want to come, come and play on National Day and see my wife along the way.”

       As he heard this invitation, Xi Feng’s heart stirred for a moment, and he said, “Wait for me, I’ll think about it.”

       After some consideration, Xi Feng finally decided to go to his old classmate’s place for a few days to play and give the wedding money in person.

       The classmate’s name is Dai Meng. He lived in a dormitory with Xi Feng when he was in college. They had the best relationship, to the point they borrowed each other’s pants. Until he graduated from college, Dai Meng left the city without a girlfriend. Later, he contacted Xi Feng occasionally and never mentioned it. Somehow, he acted quickly and was suddenly getting married.

       Xi Feng flew over, and Dai Meng drove to the airport to pick him up.

       Seeing Dai Meng’s car, Xi Feng sighed, “Boy, you are doing a good job.”

       Dai Meng said, “I bought it with a loan. In order to take my son to and from school, the car interest is added up to the home loan and makes my money run out every month. I have to rely on my wife for food.”

       Xi Feng was stunned, “You have a son? Didn’t you just get married? Was it a shotgun wedding?” That’s too soon, isn’t it? It doesn’t make sense that he just got married, and his son is already studying.

       Dai Meng laughed a little while driving, and said, “I’ll tell you first, don’t make a fuss over nothing when we go back later.”

       Xi Feng listened to his tone and felt that this matter might not be so simple.

       Sure enough, Dai Meng said, “The son belongs to my wife and her ex-husband. He is already in elementary school.”

       The car was silent, and after a while, Xi Feng couldn’t help asking, “What year was your wife born?”

       Dai Meng said, “In ’83. My son is seven years old.”

       Xi Feng and Dai Meng are of the same age. It has only been three years since they graduated from university. They are only 25 years old now, but Dai Meng’s wife is already thirty-two years old.

       This age difference made Xi Feng suddenly think of He Yunsheng.

       But apart from the age difference, what surprised Xi Feng most was that Dai Meng found a divorced woman with children. He felt that with Dai Meng’s condition, he could find a better woman.

       “Your family didn’t object to it?” Xi Feng couldn’t help asking.

       Dai Meng smiled bitterly, “Of course they object, but I am very determined.”

       Xi Feng heard this answer and asked in a daze, “Why?”

       “Why?” Dai Meng seemed to think this question was a bit ridiculous, “Because I love her.”

       Dinner was eaten at Dai Meng’s house that day, and Xi Feng saw Dai Meng’s wife. The thirty-two-year-old woman is well maintained, beautiful and gentle. Her son is seven years old and looks very cute and obedient.

       Others might think it’s strange that a 25-year-old man with a good appearance and family background and a good job finds a woman who’s divorced with a seven years old son, but in this family, they themselves feel delighted.

       In the evening, Dai Meng let Xi Feng stay at his home, but Xi Feng did not have the heart to disturb them and went outside to stay in a hotel by himself.

       Lying on the big hotel bed, Xi Feng stared at the phone for a long time. He called He Yunsheng for the first time in so many days, but the other party’s phone turned off.

       Xi Feng raised his hand to cover his face, and his breath was full of fatigue. He felt too uncomfortable with this state of mind.

       After a few days in the city, Dai Meng accompanied him around, and one night the two went for a drink.

       After drinking a little too much, Dai Meng developed a desire to talk and told Xi Feng how hard his life was after being with his wife.

　　”At that time, my parents prepared all the money for buying a house, but they took it all back to force me to not be with her. As a result, part of the money for buying the house is still being given by my wife,” Dai Meng finished speaking and took a sip of beer with his glass.

　　Xi Feng swayed the golden beer in the glass, wiped the beer foam from the glass with his fingers, and said, “Your parents also want you to live well. Since they opposed it so much, won’t you be more or less unfilial if you insist?”

　　Dai Meng looked at Xi Feng and shook his head, “They want me to live a good life, but I only know what a good life is. It’s not that just marrying a young woman will make me have a good life. If you can’t be with the person I love, how can you be happy? The parents’ original intention is good, but the problem is that their ideas are wrong.”

　　Xi Feng looked at his glass, “But they will be sad.”

　　Dai Meng said, “Then I should let them know that I am happy. I will still be filial to them, and I’ll let them know how well our family life is, and one day when they are gone, I will have a complete and happy family in this world. They do not have to worry about me.”

　　Xi Feng still looked blank.

　　Dai Meng said to him, “People who love you want you to have a good life, but everyone’s definition of a good life is not the same. How to say this? It is like people who drink water and will say, why would you drink cold beer when the weather is cold. But only you know how refreshing a cold beer is!”

　　After finishing speaking, Dai Meng raised his glass and touched his.

　　Xi Feng took a sip and asked, “Can you be sure that you will be happy in the future?”

　　Dai Meng laughed when he heard the words, “Who can be sure of happiness in the future? You may marry Ms. Perfect, and you might be cheated to your bankruptcy by your wife one day. If you don’t even dare to pursue happiness now, don’t talk about happiness in this life. Because you may never realize what happiness is.”

　　Hearing Dai Meng’s words, Xi Feng suddenly felt as if someone had poured cold water on his face, and he gradually became sober while he was startled.

　　What is a good life? If he doesn’t even dare to pursue the one he loves, then no matter how smooth life is in the future, he might not know if it is really good.

　　That night, Xi Feng lay in bed tossing and turning all night. When he made up his mind, those things that had been weighing heavily on his heart became lighter. He even began to imagine some illusory future, and he was happy for those uncertain futures.

　　At the end of the seven-day holiday, Xi Feng still did not see He Yunsheng the first day he went back to work.

　　He made a special trip to the personnel department to inquire about He Yunsheng’s return date. He Yunsheng had three days left on his annual leave, and he would not return to work until after these three days were over. Then another weekend had passed.

　　On the weekend, when He Yunsheng was about to go to work, Xi Feng went to the market to buy cob bones. He returned home and called his mother to ask how to stew bone soup.

　　He does not know how to cook, but all the seasoning has been bought now. He didn’t ask clearly when he called and checked the recipes online. After a long time in the kitchen, he stewed it and put it in the refrigerator.

　　The next day, he got up early again, boiled the soup, put it in a newly bought thermos, and took it to the company.

　　In the morning, Xi Feng called the finance department and asked them if He Yunsheng had come back to work, and after getting a positive answer, he hung up the phone feeling satisfied.

　　As soon as it was time for lunch, Xi Feng hurried to press the elevator with the thermos bucket. He was afraid that He Yunsheng would leave if he arrived late.

　　His colleagues wondered about his strange behavior of going against the current on the peak lunch hour, but Xi Feng was not in the mood to explain. He pressed the phone anxiously, fearing he would miss He Yunsheng.

　　As a result, he was lucky. When he arrived at He Yunsheng’s office, the rest of the finance department went to a meal, but He Yunsheng stayed in his small office and looked through the documents.

　　When he heard someone enter, He Yunsheng looked up. After seeing it was Xi Feng, he put down what he was holding and asked him, “Is there something wrong?”

　　Xi Feng put the thermos barrel on the table and did not ask He Yunsheng where he had been during this period of time. He just asked, “Is the injury on your hand better?”

　　He Yunsheng touched his right wrist. It was no longer as uncomfortable as it was at the beginning, and he was no longer afraid to move it at all, but he didn’t dare to use force.

　　”I’m fine,” He Yunsheng said to Xi Feng.

　　Xi Feng opened the thermos barrel by himself. The bone soup inside was still steaming. He said, “I made you some bone broth. Drink it before you go eat.”

　　He Yunsheng looked at him expressionlessly. If someone else came to deliver the soup, he might be embarrassed to refuse, but he would definitely not accept it since the person was Xi Feng.

　　”No need,” He Yunsheng said in a deep voice.

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       The car accident was the responsibility of the truck driver that changed lanes in front. After the traffic police came to deal with the scene, Xi Feng took a taxi to take He Yunsheng to the hospital. He Yunsheng’s life was not in danger, but he fractured his right wrist and went to the hospital for an X-ray. Fortunately, it was not too serious.

       At night, He Yunsheng stayed in the observation room for infusion, and Xi Feng sat next to him.

       Even with his eyes closed, He Yunsheng could feel Xi Feng’s eyes fixed on him. He slowly opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling and said, “What are you looking after me for? I’m fine. You go back first.”

       Xi Feng said, “It’s okay, I’ll just observe you for the time being, and you can go to sleep. I’ll call the doctor for you after you finish the infusion later.”

       He Yunsheng didn’t know how to answer him for a while.

       At this time, Xi Feng’s cell phone rang. He took it out and saw that it was Xu Qing’s call. He quickly took the cell phone out of the ward to answer the call.

       Xu Qing didn’t lose his temper this time. When Xi Feng answered the phone, he only calmly said the words, “Let’s break up.”

       That evening Xi Feng ran away before he finished eating, leaving Xu Qing and her parents to sit awkwardly. Xu Qing’s father asked if there was something urgent for Xi Feng and asked Xu Qing to follow him.

       Xu Qing felt some indigestion in her stomach and was unwilling to move. As a result, Xi Feng never went back nor made any phone call. In the end, it was Xu Qing who paid the bill.

       At this point, Xi Feng knew that it would be useless to even say sorry, he whispered to the other end of the phone, “I understand, I’m really sorry, if —”

       Before he finished speaking, Xu Qing hung up the phone.

       He originally wanted to say that he would explain to Xu Qing if he had a chance, but now it seems the other party might not give him a chance.

       Xi Feng returned to the ward, He Yunsheng turned his head to look at him and said, “Is there anything wrong? Just go ahead if there’s something you need to do.”

       “What will you do when I leave?” Xi Feng said as he sat down beside the hospital bed, “Will there be someone else to take care of you?”

       He Yunsheng was suddenly at a loss. He still has relatives and friends, but they don’t seem close enough to come to the hospital to look after him all night. If he was seriously injured in a car accident today, he might have been able to call someone, but now it doesn’t seem too necessary in this situation.

       So he was silent for a moment and answered Xi Feng, “It’s not necessary.”

       Xi Feng said, “Go to sleep. Just pretend I don’t exist.”

       He Yunsheng saw that he couldn’t say anything to make Xi Feng leave, and talking to him too much was making his heart sick, so he turned his back to him and closed his eyes.

       Xi Feng stared at He Yunsheng’s back in a daze.

       The fear that he had when watching He Yunsheng’s car crashed just now hasn’t dissipated. At that moment, he even felt that his legs were weak, but even if his legs were weak, he would run to He Yunsheng’s side to confirm whether he was safe.

       Looking at He Yunsheng’s slightly thin back now, Xi Feng suddenly felt uncomfortable in his heart, not for himself, but for He Yunsheng.

       He thought that even if He Yunsheng was injured, he didn’t even have a person to look after him. Then one day when he gets old, will he have to stay at home alone without anyone around him?

       Just by imagining it, Xi Feng has felt that this uncomfortable feeling was so strong that it made his nasal cavity a little sore.

       He didn’t know what he could do on his own. On such a quiet night, he suddenly wondered if he could stay with He Yunsheng forever?

　　Xi Feng stretched out his hand towards He Yunsheng, wanting to touch his hair. Yet before he could touch it, he suddenly retracted his hand, like he was waking up from a dream, suddenly realizing what a terrible thought he had just had.

       He can’t be that person, Xi Feng told himself repeatedly. And what about that man tonight? He Yunsheng didn’t seem to call him even after the accident.

       If He Yunsheng is not destined to be with a woman, is it better for him to find a man?

       Xi Feng was in a daze, but as long as the scene of He Yunsheng with the man crossed his mind, Xi Feng felt that he was almost overwhelmed by anger. No, maybe it wasn’t just anger, it was more of a jealousy and unwillingness.

       He raised his hand to cover his face.

       Someone once said that feelings could be controlled. As long as you don’t think about it, some feelings may never sprout. But Xi Feng couldn’t hold himself back anymore. The unacceptable secret feelings had already sprouted, it wasn’t like he could really wipe it off by shaking his head and denying it.

       Xi Feng thought he was finished.

       It was midnight when He Yunsheng finished his infusion, and he had already gone to sleep unconsciously. Xi Feng pressed the pager and called the nurse on duty to pull the needle for him.

       At that time, He Yunsheng woke up, but because he was too tired, he soon fell asleep again. This time, it was already dawn when he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he found that Xi Feng was still sitting by the bed staring at him, as if he hadn’t closed his eyes all night.

       He Yunsheng was a little startled.

       Xi Feng watched him wake up and asked, “Do you feel any discomfort?” His voice sounded hoarse.

       He Yunsheng shook his head. Apart from the fracture of his wrist, which has been fixed, he has no other discomfort.

       Xi Feng said, “I’ll call for the doctor to take a look at it later. If everything is fine, then we can go back.”

       He Yunsheng wanted to say that there was no need to do that, and Xi Feng should just go back to rest by himself, but Xi Feng had already stood up and walked outside. A short while later, Xi Feng accompanied the doctor in, asked about He Yunsheng’s condition, checked his wrist fixation, and made sure there was no problem so he could go back first.

       Xi Feng stretched out his hand to help He Yunsheng.

       He Yunsheng avoided his hand and said to him, “I can do it myself.”

       So he said, but after all, he lost one hand that could help him move, and it became extremely difficult to wear shoes. Xi Feng squatted down to help him put on his shoes and then took his coat to put on him.

       When Xi Feng did these things, he was silent. He Yunsheng looked at him, and his thoughts were a little complicated.

       Today, He Yunsheng has to deal with the follow-up of the car accident. He contacted the truck driver and planned to go to a repair shop. There is no other way but to ask for leave for work.

       But he didn’t expect that Xi Feng also takes a leave of absence.

       As the two stood at the entrance of the hospital, He Yunsheng asked him, “Why do you ask for leave? Your wage will be deducted at the end of the year.”

       Xi Feng said: “If not, should I have left you alone? Your hands are still not convenient to use.”

       He Yunsheng subconsciously touched his bandaged right wrist. He said, “It doesn’t matter.”

       Xi Feng did not intend to talk about it with him and only said, “Let’s go. The leave has been requested. Let’s go to eat breakfast first. What do you want to eat?”

       Xi Feng had just looked after He Yunsheng all night yesterday. Whether He Yunsheng wanted it or not, he couldn’t strictly refuse the other party at this time. In the end, he could only say, “Whatever you want to eat.”

       After breakfast, Xi Feng accompanied He Yunsheng to deal with the car affairs for a whole day. At night he took a taxi to send He Yunsheng back.

       Sitting in the taxi, neither of them spoke.

       He Yunsheng looked out the window for a moment, turned his head to look at Xi Feng, and said, “Thank you for today.”

       Xi Feng was a little depressed. He said, “It was because I chased you yesterday that you were in a car accident, right?”

       He Yunsheng did not admit or deny it and said, “That’s because I didn’t concentrate on driving by myself. The injury on my hands is not a big deal. It is enough for you to help me for a day, so you don’t need to worry about it anymore.”

       Xi Feng suddenly asked, “Is there someone who will take care of you?”

       He Yunsheng said, “It’s just a small injury. I can take care of myself.”

       Xi Feng asked him, “What if the injury is severe this time? Is there anyone else who will come to watch over you all night beside me?”

       He Yunsheng leaned back on the back of the seat. He was a little irritated by what Xi Feng said, but he tried to suppress it. He told himself that Xi Feng really cared about him; otherwise, he would not stay with him for so long. But these kinds of rude and provocative words will make people feel uncomfortable no matter how much the other party shows their concern.

       The taxi arrived at He Yunsheng’s place downstairs, and He Yunsheng pulled the car door and got off.

       Xi Feng also got out of the car and said, “I’ll walk you up.”

       He Yunsheng did not refuse, he turned and walked into the neighborhood, and Xi Feng quickly followed.

　　Seeing that the taxi had turned and left, He Yunsheng stopped and waited for Xi Feng to walk in front of him and said in a deep voice, “Xi Feng, let me say it again. I am very grateful for your help. But don’t you think you are being too much?”

       Xi Feng looked at him, there were no street lights here, and neither of them could see each other’s expressions clearly in the dim environment.

　　He Yunsheng continued, “I know that I am a homosexual. In your eyes, I am abnormal. I will not have a complete family or children. Even now, I am in my thirties, and I am alone. You can pity me, and I don’t mind what you think of me. But please don’t approach me in the name of being concerned, and at the same time trying so hard to criticize my way of life! I don’t need you to judge what kind of life I live by your standards. I don’t pity myself. I know in my heart what I want. You go get married and have kids and live your life. What I want is my business!”

        After saying these words, He Yunsheng’s chest is still slightly heaving, and he wanted to fan his face to let the blood that rushed to his brain cool down quickly.

       Xi Feng was surprisingly calm. He looked at He Yunsheng and said, “I can’t do it.”

       He Yunsheng clenched his left hand into a fist and raised it, and then put it down again. He said, “You have a screw loose in your brain, don’t you?”

       Xi Feng said seriously, “I can’t stand to see you alone. I feel uncomfortable in my heart. I want you to live a happy life.”

       As soon as he said this, He Yunsheng’s original anger disappeared in an instant, and what remained seemed to be a ridiculous desolation.

　　He Yunsheng raised his hand and pressed his forehead. After a while, he said to Xi Feng, “Let me put it this way, being single is my own choice, and I’m still waiting for the one who is right for me. I believe I will be happy with the one I love for the rest of my life. All we lack is a child.”

       Xi Feng did not speak.

       He Yunsheng stretched out his hand in his pocket and took his mobile phone. He said, “Thank you for your concern. I will find someone right now and let him accompany me tonight, so you can be completely at ease and not have to worry about me in the future.”

       After finishing speaking, He Yunsheng fished out the mobile phone in his pocket, opened the phone book with one hand with difficulty to look for the number, and dialed it after a few moments.

       While waiting for the call to be connected, He Yunsheng raised his head to look at Xi Feng.

       Xi Feng’s expression was a little sad. He probably didn’t even notice it.

       The call was quickly connected, and He Yunsheng said to the person over there, “Cheng Lei, do you have something to do tonight? Come spend the night at my place.”

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       He Yunsheng came out of the shower, wearing pajamas, with his hair still wet. He put a towel on his shoulders, sat across Xi Feng, and asked, “Anything else?”

       Xi Feng scratched his head and said, “Are you okay?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him.

       Xi Feng said, “Last night I—” He swallowed half of his words as if it was inappropriate to say anything.

       He Yunsheng said in an unusually flat tone, “It’s not too good. To be honest, your technique is too rough, and I feel a little uncomfortable physically.”

       Xi Feng didn’t expect He Yunsheng to say something so blunt and that he would be evaluated to have a bad technique. He sat awkwardly and slowly reddened from the roots of his ears.

　　At this point, He Yunsheng originally wanted to say something to mock Xi Feng, but suddenly he felt that it was unnecessary. He was originally not a mean person. Rather than fighting against others and causing a little bit of resentment, it is better to cut off all future contacts completely.

       So He Yunsheng said to Xi Feng, “Let’s just forget about what happened last night.”

       Xi Feng was taken aback when he heard this. This was originally what he wanted to say to He Yunsheng, but as he heard what He Yunsheng said repeatedly, he felt a little uncomfortable in his heart.

       He Yunsheng said, “You don’t have to dwell on it too much. It’s not like no one in this circle has ever done anything with straight men. Sexual orientation is not something that can be changed. You can live as you like in the future.”

       Xi Feng heard what He Yunsheng’s word meant, and it seemed that he was still comforting him.

       He Yunsheng picked up the corner of the towel and wiped the water on his cheeks, “I think you’d better cherish your girlfriend.”

       Xi Feng’s heart was in a mess as if it was churned and stirred into a lump of porridge. He couldn’t understand his emotions but felt that all the words He Yunsheng was right, and he couldn’t refute a word of it.

       In the end, he could only say, “I’m sorry.”

       He Yunsheng laughed when he heard the words, “Although I was drunk, it was something you were willing to do, what is there to be sorry for.”

       The words that should be said were all said, and Xi Feng could not say what he originally wanted. The two sat in silence for a while, and Xi Feng could only stand up to say goodbye.

       When he returned home that day, Xi Feng sat in front of the computer for a long time, searching for information about “bisexuality.”

       He was sure that he had always liked women, but he had a strong reaction to He Yunsheng. After thinking for a long time, he felt that he could only be bisexual.

       There were a lot of messy things found on the internet, but these didn’t help Xi Feng much. He still couldn’t sort out his feelings.

       After spending the weekend in confusion, Xi Feng went to work on Monday to find that Xu Qing was not paying attention to him.

　　Xu Qing called Xi Feng on Saturday night. At that time, he didn’t hear it when he was in the bar. Later, he didn’t see the missed call until he left He Yunsheng’s place and went home, but he was in a bad mood and didn’t give Xu Qing a callback.

       When he went to work on Monday, Xi Feng was still thinking about what to do if he saw He Yunsheng. Later, when he was about to eat at noon, he called Xu Qing, and she did not answer. Only then did he realize that Xu Qing was angry with him.

       Xi Feng felt a little sorry for Xu Qing. Of course, it was not only because of the matter of not answering the phone. But more importantly, about the matter between him and He Yunsheng.

       Whether he is gay or bisexual, this redundant identity is difficult for Xi Feng to accept. The incident with He Yunsheng made him faintly scared, constantly feeling that he would not go down a road of no return.

       He thought for a long time and felt that He Yunsheng was actually correct. He shouldn’t care too much about this matter. His attention was affected unconsciously. If he didn’t know that He Yunsheng liked men from beginning to end, then he would definitely not have such thoughts. At this time, he should put his life back on track rather than drifting further and further away.

       For Xi Feng, Xu Qing is his right track.

       That afternoon, Xi Feng waited for Xu Qing at the entrance of the office building.

       Xu Qing came out with a female colleague from the department, but after seeing Xi Feng, she sped up to leave.

       Xi Feng stopped her and said sincerely, “Qingqing, I was wrong, don’t be angry with me.”

       The female colleague smiled and bumped Xu Qing’s arm and left by herself.

       Xi Feng and Xu Qing were left standing in place. Xu Qing didn’t hide her anger at first, but Xi Feng apologized to her over and over again. Later, Xu Qing also softened her attitude.

       That night, the two of them were shopping for dinner and watching a movie. In order to show his sincerity, Xi Feng bought Xu Qing a bag worth more than 3,000.

       By the time Xi Feng sent Xu Qing home in the evening, Xu Qing’s mood had obviously improved. The two of them stood downstairs in the community and kissed lightly. Then Xu Qing and Xi Feng waved goodbye.

       Looking at Xu Qing’s back, Xi Feng thought that this was the right way, and this was what his life should’ve been.

       They worked in the same building, but Xi Feng still didn’t see He Yunsheng for nearly a week. When they met again, it was already the second week of the staff meeting.

       He Yunsheng’s seat was in the front row. After Xi Feng sat down, he habitually glanced at He Yunsheng’s seat and saw that the seat was still empty. After a while, he heard He Yunsheng walking into the large conference room while talking quietly with others.

       He Yunsheng walked past Xi Feng’s seat and did not say hello to him.

       As soon as Xi Feng looked up and saw the smooth lines wrapped under He Yunsheng’s slim suit, his breath hitched. He stared ahead, and his mind wandered off, and when he came back to his senses, he found that he had written the word He in his notebook. He was so frightened that he quickly tore the page off.

       More than half a month later, Xu Qing’s parents came from outside their region to visit their daughter on a trip and proposed that they wanted to have a meal with Xi Feng.

       After Xu Qing told Xi Feng about their visit, Xi Feng immediately agreed and said that he would arrange the meal.

       This means to greet the parents officially.

       Every time Xi Feng talks with his mother on the phone, the other party will urge him to take his girlfriend home. Originally, Xi Feng had been a little hesitant, but after the incident with He Yunsheng, he suddenly wished to accelerate development with Xu Qing.

       He hopes that he can prove to himself that he is a real, normal man.

       This meal Xifeng was arranged in an elegant Chinese restaurant. He ordered wine and dishes in advance, hoping to give Xu Qing’s parents a good impression.

       Xu Qing is from an ordinary family. His parents don’t expect their daughter to find any rich people, so they wanted to find a young man who is suitable to his daughter and willing to make progress.

       Xi Feng is tall and handsome, and his appearance must’ve passed off. His attitude today is also serious and sincere. After a meal, Xu Qing’s parents would have been delighted, if not for that little accident that happened halfway through the meal.

       Halfway through the meal, Xi Feng saw the waiter lead He Yunsheng in from outside and took him to a four-person booth.

       He Yunsheng did not see Xi Feng, but Xi Feng noticed He Yunsheng at a glance.

       This is not too much of a coincidence because the first time Xi Feng came to this restaurant was when He Yunsheng invited him. Otherwise, Xi Feng would usually go to a cheaper or hot pot and skewers and other small restaurants.

       Xu Qing didn’t notice He Yunsheng either, and she was talking to Xi Feng. Xi Feng suddenly lost his voice, and she asked him strangely what had happened.

       “Nothing,” Xi Feng answered her. But he uncontrollably focuses his attention on He Yunsheng.

       He Yunsheng did not come out to eat alone. He waited for a few minutes, and a man came in from the outside, young and handsome, wearing a casual suit, and sitting opposite He Yunsheng with a smile on his face.

       Xi Feng could not judge the relationship between the two of them, but he could tell that they were not close with each other.

       “Xiao¹a nickname given by Xu Qing’s father to Xi Feng and usually used to call people younger than the person Xi?”

       He suddenly recovered, only to realize that Xu Qing’s father had already called him a few times.

       “Ah? Uncle?”

       Xu Qing was a little upset, “Why are you distracted?”

       Xi Feng shook his head. His thoughts now are full of He Yunsheng, and in his heart he kept thinking, He Yunsheng is not here to have a blind date with this man, right?

       Maybe the man opposite him is also gay, and both of them are single. It is not impossible to have friends introduce each other to meet him.

       This thought entangled Xi Feng.

       In fact, even if He Yunsheng has a new boyfriend, it has nothing to do with Xi Feng. What he wants to do now is to concentrate on being with his girlfriend and forget those things related to He Yunsheng as soon as possible. He also felt that things were progressing very smoothly for more than half a month. He was almost about to succeed, but he happened to see He Yunsheng again on this occasion.

       And although He Yunsheng and the man came late, they ate very lightly. The two of them kept talking and laughing. Later, the man checked the time, he didn’t know if the man was in a hurry to leave, but they waved to the waiter to settle the bill.

       When they got up to leave, Xi Feng saw the man helping He Yunsheng pick up his jacket and put it on him, and he reached out his hand to touch his face, and then the two people walked out of the restaurant one after another.

       Xi Feng suddenly thought that the two of them might go to the bar for a drink after dinner, and then they would have sex at night as a matter of course. This idea made him stiffen up for a moment, and he felt that he should go and ask He Yunsheng clearly about it.

       So Xi Feng stood up.

       Xu Qing was already upset because he was distracted all night. At this time, she asked in a dreadful tone, “What are you doing?”

       Xi Feng just said, “Something happened!” Then he ran towards the outside.

       After chasing out the restaurant, Xi Feng only saw He Yunsheng’s car parked on the roadside was just being started up. He hurriedly ran over and stopped in front of the car that had just started.

       He Yunsheng stepped on the sudden brake, looked at the person in front of the car in surprise, then pressed down the car window and shouted angrily, “Are you crazy?”

       Xi Feng saw that He Yunsheng was the only one in the car. He was panting because he ran too fast and asked, “Where’s that man?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him inexplicably, “Which man?”

       Xi Feng said, “The one you just had dinner with, is he your boyfriend?”

       He Yunsheng’s anger has not dissipated, and now it has rushed up again, he said, “What does it have to do with you?”

       Xi Feng walked towards the driver’s seat and reached out to pull his car door, “Listen to me first.”

       He Yunsheng locked the door and said, “I don’t want to hear you say anything! Please leave now!”

       Xi Feng was afraid that he would close the car window as well and quickly reached out to hold it down, “I am concerned about you.”

       He Yunsheng felt that he had lived for more than thirty years, but it was the first time he had met such a disgusting and unreasonable person. He couldn’t help but yell, “Who are you? Who needs your concern? Get lost!”

       Xi Feng heard him yell at himself loudly and suddenly felt aggrieved, but he still insisted, “Let’s sit down and talk, okay?”

       He Yunsheng didn’t care if his hand was still stuck on the car window and insisted on closing the window upwards. He said, “No! I don’t have anything to say to you!”

       He felt that Xi Feng was making him so angry that it was laughable. He has been known for his good temper since he was a child, and he has never tried to yell at people in the street so angrily.

       At the last moment when the window was about to close, Xi Feng still retracted his hand. He tried to pull the door of He Yunsheng, but He Yunsheng stepped on the accelerator to drive the car out.

       “He Yunsheng!” Xi Feng chased for two steps.

       He Yunsheng looked at him from the rearview mirror. He was a bit afraid of being caught up by him, so he didn’t hold back and stepped on the gas pedal harder. As a result, when he turned his head, he found a large truck suddenly changing lanes. When he applied the brakes again, it was too late, and he crashed into it with a bang.

       Xi Feng saw this scene. His voice trembled with fear, “He Yunsheng!” He screamed and ran over.

       The front half of the car and the driver’s seat were a little deformed. Xi Feng ran over and pulled the driver’s door open. He saw the airbag bounce out, and He Yunsheng was stuck between the airbag and the seat.

       His breath stopped, and his voice was hoarse as he shouted, “He Yunsheng?”

       He Yunsheng slowly lifted his head to look at him and said, “I’m not dead, don’t worry.” He didn’t know if it was an illusion, but when he heard Xi Feng call his name just now, it was as if Xi Feng was so sad that he was about to cry.

Notes:
Hello, unrelated to the novel. I received some concerns about ads redirect to r18 sites
I’m currently working on it and already turn off all ads service I registered so far, if you still have the problem, please try to clear your cache&cookies. I will try my best to keep looking for all signs of ads redirect problem and solve it ><
Sorry for the inconvenience (ಥ﹏ಥ)

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       Although He Yunsheng is not as tall as Xi Feng, he was still a grownup man after all. Xi Feng had to exerted his strength to carry him on his side, but inevitably stumbled a little along the way. So Xi Feng asked him to stand firmly on the pillar, squatted in front of him and let him lie on his back.

       Xi Feng carried He Yunsheng on his back. He Yunsheng put his arms around Xi Feng’s neck, and put his face close to Xi Feng’s face. He asked vaguely, “Who are you?”

       “I am Xi Feng,” Xi Feng replied dully, and he lifted He Yunsheng’s thigh with both hands and walked towards the elevator.

       He had never been to He Yunsheng’s home, and only heard Cong Yu say the room number. At this time, he circled the parking lot like a headless fly before finding the elevator. After entering the elevator, Xi Feng didn’t put He Yunsheng down. Hearing He Yunsheng’s heavy breathing in his ears and fearing the hot breath hitting his cheeks, Xi Feng felt that he was also getting hot.

       When he reached the door of He Yunsheng’s house, Xi Feng put him down and put one arm around his waist, and letting him lean on his body. He reached for the keys in his pocket.

       He Yunsheng’s key was placed in his trouser pocket, with only a thin layer of fabric across his thigh. Xi Feng felt the heat on He Yunsheng’s skin when he reached in, and he immediately pulled his hand back as soon as he felt the heat.

       The searing heat burned from his hand all the way to his face, and he stood in place for a while before he reached for the keys again.

       As he opened the door of the room, Xi Feng felt a slight indistinct chill seeping out of the room. He helped He Yunsheng into the room and turned on the living room light to see that the room was very clean, ice cold, and it felt like there’s no one living inside.

       Xi Feng closed the door, and then picked up He Yunsheng. He hesitated at the door of the room, and brought him to the room that looked more like the master bedroom.

       When he threw He Yunsheng onto the bed, Xi Feng was using too much strength. He saw He Yunsheng rolling half a circle on the bed and hurriedly reached out to support him, fearing that he would roll off the side of the bed.

       The hem of He Yunsheng’s clothes rolled up, revealing a white and soft waist. Xi Feng stretched out his hand to touch his naked waist skin.

       Probably because he had been drinking, He Yunsheng’s skin felt very hot to touch. Xi Feng subconsciously retracted his hand, stood by the bed and looked at him for a while, then helped him take off his shoes and socks.

       When taking off his socks, Xi Feng grabbed He Yunsheng’s foot, but He Yunsheng suddenly retracted, he said faintly, “It’s ticklish.”

       The hoarse voice seemed to burrow straight into Xi Feng’s eardrum, causing him to feel ticklish.

       He Yunsheng retracted his feet, and his body curled into a ball. His clothes still wrapped up to be half pressed by his back, revealing his side waist and abdomen.

       As if he was bewitched, Xi Feng sat on the side of the bed, with his palm pressed against He Yunsheng’s waist. The smooth and soft skin was like a magnet for his hand, letting him stroke along the side waist all the way to just below He Yunsheng’s navel.

       Xi Feng breathed heavily, and he clearly felt the blood boil in his body. He hasn’t done it for a long time, and remains single for a long time after he started to work. Although Xu Qing took the initiative to pursue him, they are quite conservative in this area. The two have only progressed to kissing by now. Xu Qing didn’t have any further intentions for the time being, and Xi Feng didn’t want to force it at all.

       Now that he touched He Yunsheng’s smooth skin, and hearing his heavy breathing, Xi Feng only felt that his passion suddenly rose. He was startled by his own emotions, rationally trying to withdraw his hands, but emotionally, he felt it was difficult to suppress the emotions.

       His temples throbbed, and it was difficult for Xi Feng to calmly think about his current emotions. He felt the burning heat between all his breaths. He said to himself: Just help He Yunsheng take off his outers, and after taking it off, cover him with a quilt, and he can go.

       His fingers trembled a little, and he raised He Yunsheng’s arms to help him take off his coat. Then, seeing that the buttons on his neckline were too tight, he reached out to help him unbutton them one by one.

       The shirt spread out, revealing a delicate collar bone underneath.

       At this moment, He Yunsheng suddenly stretched out his hand and held down Xi Feng’s hand. Xi Feng was startled. When he wanted to withdraw his hand, he heard He Yunsheng say, “Come fvck me?”

       Xi Feng’s pupils suddenly dilated. He watched He Yunsheng slightly open his eyes. His eyes were moist and blurred, his white and transparent face was blushing unnaturally, and his lips were also wet and shiny. His head exploded inside, as if there were many colorful and strange sights flashing, and even made him feel a faint drumming in his ears. Yet all of these sights are, in the end, nothing more than a blank slate.

       He lowered his head and kissed He Yunsheng’s lips.

       What happened that night was more like a bizarre dream for Xi Feng. He couldn’t remember many details. The only thing that remains in his mind is the fierce impulses that he has never tried before and He Yunsheng’s raspy gasps.

       The gasp became louder and quicker with his movements, making his body deeply engrossed and his movements becoming rougher and rougher, wanting to hear more of his voice.

       Later, he slept with He Yunsheng in his arms. He obviously didn’t drink as much as He Yunsheng, but he seemed to be more drunk than He Yunsheng. For a while, he didn’t know if it’s day or night, and he didn’t even think of the location and the partner. Anyway, after the unprecedented satisfaction came the exhaustion of being hollowed out. Tired of being hollowed out, he hugged He Yunsheng, smelled the faint smell of sweat on his body, and fell asleep.

       When Xi Feng woke up, the sky outside was completely bright. He felt a little headache, and his body was still sticky but felt good. He moved his arms before he realized that he was holding someone in his arms, and then the memories of last night came rushing into his empty mind like a tsunami.

       Xi Feng sat up all of a sudden.

       He was drunk last night, no, he wasn’t actually that drunk, he always knew what he was doing. Instead of being drunk and disorderly, he just couldn’t control his lower body and couldn’t resist the temptation after he heard He Yunsheng ask him to “Come fvck me” in a sexy voice.

       However, no matter how happy he was when he was doing it last night. Now that he sobered up, he was vexed, and even had a strong sense of guilt.

       Xi Feng turned his head and glanced at He Yunsheng beside him.

       He Yunsheng’s naked upper body was covered with hickeys, and he seemed to wake up because of Xi Feng’s movements. He slowly turned over and opened his eyes blankly.

       Xi Feng was frightened in an instant. His body reacted faster than his head, and he rolled off the bed at once, reaching out to pick up the pants on the floor and put them on his body. But because of his hasty movements, he nearly fell back on the side of the bed.

       He Yunsheng watched his movements indifferently, and said, “No need to look like you’ve seen a ghost. Everyone is not sober after drinking too much last night, I won’t pester you.”

       His voice was even more hoarse from moaning and panting most of the night, and he sat up with one hand propped up, only to feel a tearing pain down there.

       Xi Feng put on his pants and grabbed his clothes, and said to He Yunsheng in a panic, “I’ll go first, you can sleep a little longer.” After saying that, he hurriedly walked outside.

       He Yunsheng didn’t give him a second glance, but frowned and endured the physical discomfort.

       He actually woke up earlier than Xi Feng. When he woke up, and saw Xi Feng’s sleeping face, his mood suddenly sank. He was a little drunk last night, and he knew that someone had taken him home. He also knew that he had sex with someone, but he didn’t remember that the person turned out to be Xi Feng.

       Xi Feng is a straight man, and he has a girlfriend. Even if He Yunsheng were to have a one-night stand with a stranger, he didn’t want it to be with Xi Feng. He raised his hand to cover his head and endured the headache after the hangover. Xi Feng was obviously inexperienced with men, and He Yunsheng was not sure if he was hurt.

       His mood did not improve because of it’s a good sex, and He Yunsheng felt more irritable instead.

       He sat quietly on the bed for a while, got up and opened the cabinet and took out his pajamas and clean underwear, planning to take a shower first. Before leaving the bedroom, he picked up the crumpled shirt that he had thrown on the floor last night and put it on, and walked directly outside.

       When he came out of the bedroom, he realized that Xi Feng hadn’t left, but was sitting on the sofa in silence.

       Xi Feng stared at the floor in a daze. He raised his head when He Yunsheng came out, only to see He Yunsheng wearing only a shirt all over his body with his two white long legs bared, and suddenly the blood rushed to his face again.

       Since they had done such intimate things last night, He Yunsheng didn’t try to hide anything. He could not open his mouth to drive Xi Feng away, and could only say, “You sit for a while, I want to take a shower first.”

       Xi Feng said quickly, “Oh, yes, you go first.”

       He Yunsheng stepped on his slippers and went to the bathroom, turned on the showerhead and stood outside the shower room quietly waiting for the water to get hot before stepping in.

       Xi Feng sat on the sofa and listened to the sound of the water in the bathroom. He raised his hand and rubbed his head, feeling terrible about what had happened from last night until just now.

       He Yunsheng was drunk and did not know anything, but he did not resist the temptation to have sex with someone. He can find a lot of reasons for himself, such as men are an animal dominated by his lower body, or he hasn’t slept with a person for too long. How could he be able to control it when He Yunsheng took the initiative?

       But no matter how many reasons he found, Xi Feng couldn’t convince himself, because he clearly understood that He Yunsheng was a man. He deeply abhors the homosexual group, and he tried to persuade He Yunsheng to go back to the right path. But at the same time he slept with others.

       And the behavior of escaping from He Yunsheng’s room just now made him feel depressed, and he even felt unmanly. So he walked to the door, but then chose to retreat and sit down on the edge of the sofa. He felt that he should talk to He Yunsheng clearly.

       What to say?

       Saying that he is not a homosexual, but he was just losing his mind because of his lust, and he hoped He Yunsheng will not misunderstand him. He also has to say sorry, that this is his fault, and he will never do it again in the future. He hope that something can be done to compensate He Yunsheng.

Check out the other hoeni’s work here~
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Also leave some ratings if you like this series here~

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