Category: My Crush Picked Up My Diary (Page 4 of 5)

Mai Dong asked the exam scores of everyone in the dormitory, and a despondent atmosphere immediately enveloped the room.

The culprit, oblivious to the situation, sat at the table, holding his new diary. When Mai Dong recalled the moment during dinner when Yan Xuming mentioned wanting to see the old one, he didn’t specify waiting for him to bring it down when they parted ways downstairs. So, Mai Dong thought it might have been a joke.

He was again a little reluctant to use the new book, and a little impatient to use it.

The touch of the little bear was comfortable, and its black beady eyes even had a detachable gold-rimmed glasses frame. Opening the clasp revealed cute pink paws inside.

Without any guilt this time, Mai Dong flipped to the first page, fully intending to boldly write the three characters “Yan Xuming.”¹严叙明 – three characters

Unexpectedly the title page already had a line of text—“November 14, 2023, Yan Xuming gifted Mai Dong.”

Mai Dong felt that his emotions had been quite unstable lately, and looking at this simple line of text, his nose inexplicably turned sour. Yan Xuming had beautiful handwriting, something Mai Dong had always known.

In high school, Yan Xuming would make multiple copies of his compositions, not just for the seniors but also for students in other grades.

The diary that Yan Xuming had picked up, filled with his name, was once a product of Mai Dong’s imagination. It served as self-comfort and deception, often fantasizing that it was a notebook gifted by Yan Xuming.

Mai Dong never told Yan Xuming about it, but it seemed like he saw through it. Yan Xuming gave a notebook to Mai Dong with a straightforward attitude, “Yan Xuming gifted.”

Mai Dong cherished the title page and took several photos, sending them to Yan Xuming along with a crying emoji, saying, “Thank you, senior.”

Without an immediate response from Yan Xuming, Mai Dong contemplated sharing it on Moments.

He couldn’t resist, and he really wanted to show it off.

Mai Dong rarely posted on Moments, and he wasn’t fond of scrolling through it. He seldom had people reaching out to chat with him. WeChat was merely a tool for checking group notifications. This time, with careful editing, he chose two photos–One showcasing the plush exterior of the notebook and the other displaying the gift message by Yan Xuming on the title page.

The caption read, “Received a warm gift in this winter.”

Honestly, Mai Dong had gone through multiple revisions to settle on this caption. Deep down, he wanted to exclaim, “Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,²I had to count how many 啊 he used lmao this simp  my dream came true!” However, he knew he couldn’t be that direct. He also thought about saying, “No one understands my excitement. Tonight, I want to sleep hugging this notebook,” but that was also too much.

In the end, he elegantly wrote this line, capturing a sense of peaceful times.

Mai Dong had little understanding of how Moments worked. He didn’t comprehend the mechanism where only mutual friends could see likes and comments. Moreover, he had no idea what kind of response he would get by suddenly posting something, being someone who never shared on Moments.

Mai Dong’s WeChat exploded.

In just twenty minutes, a long string of comments had already appeared beneath the Moments’ post.

“Oh my god, xueshen³God of Learning posted on Moments???”

“H**y sh*t, I thought I was seeing things. Mai Dong posted on Moments!”

“Front row group photo, v!”

“Front row group photo, taking it here! Not only do we have the xueshen’s first Moments post, but we also have the President’s signature.”

“Mai Dong and Yan Xuming actually know each other? Sure enough, immortals and geniuses belong to the same world.”

“Is the relationship between these two people to the extent of sending gifts to each other??!”

“You guys just went online ah. The xueba and the President even greet each other when they cross paths ah.”

“Never mind, move over all of you, I’m coming for the picture!”

Mai Dong: …

Mai Dong was a bit slow to react. He held his phone as notifications on Moments kept increasing rapidly. Initially, he opened a few to check, but eventually, he stopped bothering.

Mai Dong hadn’t anticipated such a huge response to a simple Moments post. In hindsight, he felt he might have unintentionally caused trouble for Yan Xuming.

It felt like the entire world now knew that Yan Xuming had given him a notebook!

Mai Dong really didn’t expect this to happen ah!

He pitifully thought of apologizing to Yan Xuming and decided to share a screenshot of his Moments with him.

Mai-zi: “Ah, ah, ah, senior! I’m sorry. It seems like I’ve caused you trouble again! [Screenshot]”

As Mai Dong contemplated how to explain himself, and struggled for two minutes, he suddenly noticed the notification count on Moments reaching a new high. With a sense of surrender, he opened them and was surprised to find a comment from Yan Xuming.

Yan Xuming: “Back row group photo, Xiao Mai’s first Moments post related to me, v.”

Mai Dong: …

Mai Dong viciously poked open the private chat between the two.

Mai-zi: “What are you doing…”

Yan Xuming: “Taking a group photo.”

Mai-zi: “Do you mind?”

Yan Xuming: “Mind what?”

Mai-zi: “I didn’t expect so many people to check Moments. I just wanted to show off a little, but it turned into a big show off, and now everyone knows you gave me a notebook.”

Yan Xueming: “Don’t mind.”

Mai-zi: “That’s good!”

Yan Xuming: “Did you write today’s diary?”

Mai-zi: “Not yet.”

Yan Xuming: “I’m looking forward to it.”

Mai-zi: “Ah?”

Yan Xuming: “This is the notebook I gave you, it’s only reasonable that I want to take a look at it someday.”

Mai-zi: “?! Why are you such a person!”

Yan Xuming: “I’ve always been this kind of person.”

Mai-zi: “T T”

Mai Dong hesitated to delete the Moments post, letting it become a popular spot for photos among students from other departments. Leaving his phone aside, after bathing and burning incense, he opened the new diary.

November 14, 2023. Sunny

I hesitated for a long time before writing, unsure of what words could do justice to the beginning of this notebook. No phrase seemed fitting, so I decided to document my mood of wanting to craft a perfect opening for it. Perhaps, in a way, it could be considered a match.

I had hot pot with him today, and I received this super-duper cute diary with his name on it. I feel like I’m a balloon filled with a gas called “happiness.” It’s so unreal that I worry it might burst with the prick of a needle.

Yet, the Moments post I shared constantly reminds me that everything is indeed real.

While crossing the road, he held onto my wrist. I would always think back to the first time I liked him in high school when he also supported me by holding my wrist and guiding me to the field.

He probably doesn’t remember that incident, and he likely doesn’t know that a junior he casually cared for is me. However, I don’t regret it. Instead, I feel fortunate. The delusion from my youth has unexpectedly come true four years later. It’s an event with such a small probability, nearly close to zero.

Today, I started contemplating something–What kind of person is Mai Dong?

I’ve never really thought about this question. I’ve always believed that there are countless Mai Dongs in the world, so I just got lost in the crowd. But suddenly, I realized it wasn’t like that.

Professors from other departments can recall my name. Chen Sinian is confident that I can excel in debating, and I’ve indeed done well. Everyone pays attention to my Moments posts.

Quite narcissistically, I pondered, am I also a unique existence in everyone’s eyes, not just a little mushroom in the corner? Ah, today’s diary entry is a bit too serious, but it’s the first entry in the new notebook, so it’s normal for the mood to be different.

Lastly, I need to correct Mai Dong’s life status: From a creature lurking in the corner crushing on Yan Xuming to a super lucky little genius currently in an ambiguous relationship with Yan Xuming!

Before bedtime, Mai Dong opened his Moments, and unsurprisingly, there were so many comments and likes that they couldn’t fit on a single screen. He didn’t understand the rules of Moments and thought that everyone could see Yan Xuming’s comment. In reality, only mutual friends of both could see the replies.

“You two know each other ah. No, wait, how does everyone know you ah?”

“Yan ge, do you know Mai xueshen? Help introduce us, would you? I haven’t dared to talk to him for a month since I added him as friend.”

“Sure, you brat. I’ll pretend to be here for you. Showing off in the xueshen’s Moments now.”

Mai Dong tremblingly read these comments. He seemed to understand what Yan Xuming replied, yet at the same time, he didn’t.

He could only recall who added him as a friend a month ago. It was a senior who wanted his WeChat, claiming to have some project-related questions. Mai Dong was only in his sophomore year, and he had no clue about projects or anything, but since others were consulting him, he naturally let the senior add him.

While he was pondering this, Yan Xuming coincidentally sent him a WeChat message asking if he had slept. After Mai Dong replied ‘no’, Yan Xuming immediately called him.

It was a bit noisy on Yan Xuming’s end, and Mai Dong could vaguely hear a guy shouting, “Who are you talking to ah?” in a somewhat peculiar tone. It made Mai Dong doubt if the atmosphere in their dormitory was harmonious. Finally, he heard a more eccentric remark, “Is it Mai Dong ah?”

Mai Dong sat up straight, waiting for Yan Xuming to speak.

Yan Xuming started by chuckling and muttered, “Get lost,” with a low tone. Then, realizing the call had connected, he said “Sorry” to Mai Dong.

Mai Dong quickly shook his head and asked, “Uh, it’s okay. What’s the matter?”

It suddenly quieted on Yan Xuming’s end, as if he had left the dormitory. “En, did you see the comments on Moments? A friend from the student union knows you, and there’s something they want your help with. Do you know about the international debate team at the school?”

Mai Dong really wasn’t concerned about these things. “Ah, sorry ah, I didn’t know.”

Yan Xuming: “Why apologize? It’s like this. In January, they scheduled a debate with a university in Germany, and they need someone to provide a German tutor.”

Mai Dong was somewhat shocked, “A German school?!”

Yan Xuming: “En, it’s actually a partner university with which our school has an exchange program. It’s not entirely unfamiliar; the two schools are acquainted. They initiated the debate competition, and all participants were exchange students. They can communicate in both German and Chinese, but for debating, they need some extra help. I saw a video of you debating somewhere before, and after learning you’re the top in your major, I thought of inviting you to assist.”

Mai Dong found it a bit strange, “Why didn’t he just tell me directly?”

Yan Xuming: “He thought the chances of success would be higher if I told you. Is that true? Well, I also had the same assumption. Do you think I might be a bit too self-confident?”

Mai Dong was pleasantly surprised, how could he have the heart to compare the value of their gifts?

Yan Xuming took the gift, he didn’t need to open it to know what was inside. Mai Dong had made it clear. He placed the gift beside him and expressed his thanks, “Thank you.”

“En, you’re welcome.” Mai Dong was still a bit dazed. He was handed a box and, after a slight delay, finally retracted his hands that were still hanging in the air. He couldn’t wait and asked, “Can I open it now?”

The hot pot base had arrived, and a bit of steam rose after a while. Yan Xuming nodded after his face appeared through the white mist.

The box was exquisite, and Mai Dong wondered if it was purchased like that or if Yan Xuming had personally wrapped it.

Mai Dong, of course, preferred to believe in the latter possibility. Upon opening it, he found a fluffy brown bear notebook, so adorable that Mai Dong didn’t dare to touch it at first.

He looked up in surprise and once again confirmed, “Is this for me?”

Yan Xuming asked, “Do you like it?”

Mai Dong nodded his head vigorously, “Like it!”

Of course, he liked it, he liked it very much.

Mai Dong had never imagined receiving a gift from Yan Xuming, and especially not such a lovely one. This was different; it was a diary, proving that Yan Xuming had specifically chosen it for Mai Dong. Moreover, Mai Dong had never thought of buying a furry notebook for himself in winter.

No matter how he thought about it, this seemed a bit ambiguous. Yan Xuming knew that all the entries in his diary were about him, yet he still gave him a diary.

He’s definitely flirting with me, right? Mai Dong thought.

The meal was harmonious, with Yan Xuming acting gentlemanly and taking care of tasks like dividing the meat and serving condiments for Mai Dong. The selected condiments were considerate, including sesame sauce, dipping oil, and a seafood sauce specifically for the shrimp balls, catering to Mai Dong’s varied tastes.

Mai Dong was being taken care of so well that he didn’t even dare to speak easily, fearing he might accidentally burst the current pink bubble.

Having eaten their fill and enjoyed their drinks, Mai Dong rubbed his belly and leaned against the sofa, letting out a content burp. He was really a bit on top, forgetting to maintain his image in front of Yan Xuming.

When Yan Xuming chuckled and asked if he was full, Mai Dong snapped back to reality, hastily adjusting his posture, and honestly replied, “Full!”

Yan Xuming then asked again, “Any coupons?”

Mai Dong froze for a moment, secretly saying that it wasn’t good.

Where did he have any coupons ah! Du Chuan had secured that coupon by setting an alarm to snatch it up; he heard there were only a hundred released. Getting one coupon was just an excuse to invite Yan Xuming out to eat!

Mai Dong cleared his throat and lied, “Uh, I had some yesterday, but I gave them to my roommates. It’s okay, I’ll take care of the bill!” Saying this, he pulled out his phone and ran to the front desk to settle the bill. Strange thoughts of his roommates’ questioning flashed through his mind, asking if he was treating tonight.

After paying, he returned to his seat to pack up. He carefully placed the diary back in its box. Suddenly, he heard Yan Xuming ask, “Will you still write in your diary tonight?”

He would definitely write and should be able to write a lot. He had a lot on his mind. So, he nodded, “Yes.”

“Will you write about having dinner with me tonight?”

“… En.”

“Will use the notebook I gave you?”

“En!”

“The old one, can I see it?”

“En!… En?”

Mai Dong looked at him, meeting a pair of familiar eyes that carried a teasing meaning.

The temperature in the hot pot restaurant was high, and Yan Xuming was wearing a black trench coat that Mai Dong really liked. However, once he took it off, he revealed a dark green vertical-striped shirt underneath. Only a few buttons were fastened, and the top two buttons were left completely open.

Mai Dong blushed upon seeing this and quickly averted his gaze. “You’ve seen enough!”

Yan Xuming leaned on his hand. “Not finished.”

Mai Dong argued, “No, this is my diary!”

Yan Xuming seemed a bit regretful and sad. “I thought you’d give it to me if I wanted to see it.”

Mai Dong couldn’t bear his tone and immediately softened, wavering, “Um… well, if you really want to see it, I’ll get it for you?”

Yan Xuming’s momentary sadness disappeared, “Okay.”

Mai Dong knew he was playing scoundrel with him, but he had no way to resist. However, Mai Dong didn’t see himself as someone who would easily be taken advantage of and be a punching bag. Since Yan Xuming was playing tricks with him, he decided to ask the questions in his heart. So, Mai Dong looked at him.

“Why did you withdraw that message last night? I clearly saw it…” The first half of the sentence was assertive, but the latter half faintly died down.

If it were Mai Dong withdrawing a message and being exposed face-to-face, he would undoubtedly be at a loss for words, not knowing how to explain. However, Yan Xuming showed no sign of embarrassment and casually explained, “I thought my words made you uncomfortable since you didn’t reply right away.”

So, it wasn’t a sudden change of heart about being flirtatious with him.

Mai Dong felt a bit delighted but didn’t want to show it. He thought that since both of them were engaging in this flirting game, their status was now equal. Mai Dong had his pride, especially after being forcibly exposed by Du Chuan for wearing insoles today–He didn’t want to embarrass himself again.

So Mai Dong nodded calmly, “Oh, don’t withdraw it next time, okay?”

Yan Xuming behaved as if he was following his words, “Okay.”

After the meal, the two of them returned to school together. At first, they maintained a polite social distance. When crossing the road, Yan Xuming grabbed Mai Dong’s wrist and didn’t let go until they safely crossed.

Dr. God Mai had already forgotten what he was thinking when they left the hot pot restaurant. What equal status and what embarrassing oneself? They were all thrown to the wind. Now, every step felt like walking on clouds. With one hand holding his precious gift box and the other held by Yan Xuming, Mai Dong felt like a puppet on strings, following wherever Yan Xuming led.

At the school gate, the two encountered Yan Xuming’s elective course teacher.

This professor was in her forties and was well-known for being friendly. She often invited students to her home for meals. It was rumored that many graduate students in related fields applied to Nanjing University just to be under her guidance. It was also the first time Mai Dong learned about Yan Xuming’s close relationship with her. He stood obediently on the side, unable to resist eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Professor, you just left?”

“Yes ah, some first-year graduate student had something to discuss with me. I helped him choose a research topic, and it took me until now. Did you go out to play?”

“Went out for dinner.”

“I heard them say that you’ve become the president ah. You’re busy?”

“A bit busy, but it’s manageable. After all, there’s still time to dine off-campus, right?”

As they chatted, the professor suddenly focused her gaze on Mai Dong.

Mai Dong instantly felt a guilty sense of eavesdropping and being caught. Awkwardly, he greeted, “Professor.”

Unexpectedly, the professor could even recall his name, “Mai Dong, right?”

Mai Dong was genuinely startled and instinctively glanced at Yan Xuming. Yan Xuming, in a comforting manner, shook his head. Only then did Mai Dong bite the bullet and replied, “Um, hello, Professor. I’m Mai Dong from the School of Foreign Languages.”

The professor smiled warmly, “I know you. Your instructors always praise you. You excel in your major course, but you seem unwilling to participate in extracurricular activities, is that right?”

Now Mai Dong was really embarrassed. He felt like he was the most inconspicuous student in the School of Foreign Languages, yet how did even professors from other departments know his name? Seeking help, he glanced at Yan Xuming, truly unsure how to respond.

Yan Xuming subtly pulled him, positioning Mai Dong beside him, and spoke, “Please don’t trouble him. This one here is a xueba. He can handle nothing but studies.”

The other party smiled and waved her hand. She exchanged a few more words with Yan Xuming, and then the three of them bid farewell.

Watching the professor’s figure fade into the distance, Mai Dong finally raised his hand and rubbed his face.

Just moments ago, he had followed Yan Xuming with a forced smile, his face almost stiff from smiling. After rubbing his face, he couldn’t help but ask, “Why does she know about me ah?”

Yan Xuming raised an eyebrow, “You think you’re ordinary?”

Mai Dong blinked, unsure, “Ah?”

Yan Xuming said, “Have you ever looked at the final exam scores for the whole class?”

Mai Dong thought for a moment and realized he indeed hadn’t. Why would he care about other people’s grades? After the results were out, checking his own score on the website was sufficient. He shook his head honestly.

Yan Xuming almost wanted to pinch his face, “Do you think getting a perfect score in college exams is that easy? Does everyone achieve full marks like you?”

Mai Dong was taken aback. He looked at Yan Xuming, “You can’t get it either?”

Yan Xuming was silent, it was rare for Yan Xuming to be so silent.

Mai Dong quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it! I really haven’t cared about others’ grades, and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t find information about their grades…”

The two walked in silence. Unable to hold back, Mai Dong asked, “But your high school grades were better than mine… Though we’re in different years, I always compared my grades to yours, and I’ve never surpassed you.” The moment Mai Dong voiced his question, he sensed something was amiss.

In high school, they were all students. Although there was a student council in high school, it was merely a formality. All high school students had one primary duty—study.

But university was different. With relative freedom, some joined clubs, others became part of the student union, a few worked part-time every day to earn money, and there were even those who skipped classes regularly to play games. Yan Xuming had too many responsibilities, needing to allocate a significant amount of time and energy to student union duties.

Meanwhile, Mai Dong, like in high school, only needed to focus on studying.

Yan Xuming didn’t feel the need to explain, he just smiled gently. He found this version of Mai Dong very cute.

But Mai Dong figured it out himself and spoke up to save face for Yan Xuming, “So, if you didn’t join the student union, your grades would definitely still be better than mine. Anyway, in my heart, you’re the best person.”

The two said their goodbyes under the dormitory building. Despite parting ways, Mai Dong’s mind lingered on the topic of grades. For the first time, he wanted to inquire about other people’s grades. Feeling hesitant to ask Yan Xuming, he decided to inquire with his roommate.

The first thing he did upon returning to the dormitory was to catch the unlucky Du Chuan, “Du Chuan, how did you score on last semester’s literary translation exam ah?”

Du Chuan turned around in horror, pressing two fingers against Mai Dong’s forehead, chanting, “Evil spirits and monsters, begone!”

Mai Dong looked at him in confusion.

Beside them, Wu Zimo laughed wildly, “You really stepped on a mine ah. He’s retaking the exam this semester, and scored something like 47, if I remember correctly.”

Forty… seven? Mai Dong’s worldview was slowly restructuring. He turned to Wu Zimo, “And you?”

Wu Zimo flipped his bangs, looking quite proud, “61, awesome, right!”

Mai Dong wore an awkward expression, “Awesome… where?”

Wu Zimo almost wanted to choke Mai Dong, “I passed ah!! I passed!!!”

Mai Dong: “…”

Spare tire.

Of course, Mai Dong knew the meaning of this term. After intense questioning from his roommates, they concluded that the person Mai Dong liked treated him as a spare tire. They further interrogated whether Mai Dong had spent a lot of money being a licking dog¹Simp. for someone else. Mai Dong swore that he hadn’t spent a penny, and only then was he spared.

In the end, Du Chuan kindly advised him. There are plenty of people in the world. The reason you can’t let go of her now is because you haven’t got her. Isn’t there a lyric that goes like this, ‘What you can’t get is always in turmoil’? Don’t hang yourself on a crooked tree. Your conditions are good, even excellent. Your family is quite rich, you do well in your studies, and are handsome. Can’t you find someone who also likes you?

Mai Dong sat in front of his diary, holding his face with a troubled expression.

On one hand, he felt that his roommates made sense. If the other person made him feel ambiguous, it was at least enough to prove that the person didn’t like him enough. But with the recent misunderstanding about Yan Xuming being a scumbag, Mai Dong felt that his own speculations were unreliable.

He had already sworn to himself last time that he wouldn’t jump to conclusions like this again. Unable to come up with a conclusion, Dr. God Mai took a pen and started writing in his diary.

November 13, 2023. Sunny.

Will he use me as a spare tire? Although Du Chuan is very convincing, if this happened to someone else, I would agree. But now that it’s happening to me, subjectively, I really want to believe him. I’ve already misunderstood him once last time, causing him to endure my inner complaints for no reason. It would be too much if I misunderstood him again this time!

But why on earth did he withdraw that message?

I understand the motivation behind withdrawing messages. If it were me facing him, occasionally unable to suppress impulsive words that cross the line, I would choose to withdraw them immediately, praying that he didn’t see. This effectively prevents unnecessary awkwardness between the two. But clearly, he can say anything to me, he knows very well that I like him.

However, there are still things to be happy about!

I finally get to have that meal with him tomorrow! There shouldn’t be any problems this time, right? I heard that lowering expectations can make things go smoothly. I know there’s absolutely no scientific basis for this, but I can’t help but believe in this kind of thing. I’ve been trying hard to lower my expectations.

He’s very busy, and even if he cancels at the last minute, it’s okay. The important thing is that we can always have a meal together next time.

After comforting himself so much, Mai Dong closed his diary.

Tuesday is the day with the most classes for Mai Dong, from morning until night, packed with a full day of four classes.

After class, he had only an hour and a half left to the time agreed with Yan Xuming. Hastily rushing back to the dormitory to change clothes, Mai Dong had just received a few new pieces of clothing a few days ago. Although he was unwilling to admit it to himself, these clothes were bought for the purpose of having a meal with Yan Xuming. But the fact remains.

Mai Dong wasn’t particularly tall. He proudly inserted a pair of height-increasing insoles into his shoes, as if building a tower on flat ground. His height of 1.74 meters shot up directly to 1.80 meters, a ” secondary development” that was swift and dramatic. This scared Mai Dong, prompting him to quickly remove the insoles and switch to the three-centimeter ones.

En, going from 1.74 meters to 1.77 meters, it seems that being a bit taller does make the body proportions look better.

He secretly stood in front of the mirror, fiddling for a while, thinking that everyone in the dormitory was busy with their own things and hadn’t noticed him. When he turned around, he found three pairs of eyes smiling at him.

Du Chuan was the first to speak, “Yo, spare tire made a move?”

Wu Zimo sighed, “All our words to you are in vain, right? You still want to play the licking dog role, huh?”

Another roommate named Liu Hewei, who usually didn’t talk much, was a little nerdy guy with glasses. He always liked borrowing Mai Dong’s notes. Even Liu Hewei, with a serious expression, asked, “Mai-zi, tonight is your treat, right?”

Feeling guilty, Mai Dong explained, “No… really not. I’m going to have dinner with Yan Xuming. Didn’t we make plans before? I had to cancel last time because I had a fever.”

Du Chuan didn’t believe it at all and sneered, “Huh, you’re having dinner with Yan Xuming and even wearing new clothes and insoles?”

Mai Dong wished he could cover his face. How did these people even notice the insoles ah! Can’t he have a bit of personal privacy? He explained pitifully, “Can’t… Can’t I have an idol baggage? Yan Xuming is tall, and I have vanity.”

The three roommates chimed in unison, “Don’t believe you.”

Mai Dong couldn’t convince them with his explanations, so he simply gave up. He put on his clothes, shoes and all, and finally focused on his hairstyle in the mirror.

Mai Dong had a very ordinary differential broken cap hairstyle.²

He didn’t really understand these fashion trends. When he went to the barber shop, the barber mentioned that nowadays, nine out of ten handsome guys have a differential broken cap hairstyle. Mai Dong wanted to refuse, thinking it was too common, but then the barber casually mentioned, “You’re from Nanjing University, right? The most handsome guy there, isn’t he called Yan Xuming? A lot of boys from your school come to get the same haircut as him, the differential broken cap hairstyle.”

So, Mai Dong nodded decisively, “Then, let’s go with that.”

Little did he know that the haircut turned out completely different from Yan Xuming’s.

Mai Dong stared at himself in the mirror silently. Unfortunately, the barber looked at him with great admiration, “How about it? Handsome!”

Mai Dong could only pay for it.

Yan Xuming’s hairstyle looked effortlessly casual, as if he naturally had that hairstyle, always in its perfect state without the need for grooming or trimming. However, on Mai Dong’s head, this hairstyle had a stiff quality that seemed to strive for trendiness.

Mai Dong’s gaze fell on the styling mousse that Du Chuan placed on the table. He wanted to borrow it but hesitated, afraid that Du Chuan would become more convinced that he was going out tonight as a licking dog. After struggling for a while, he couldn’t resist and finally spoke up, “Du Chuan, can I borrow your styling mousse for a spray?”

Du Chuan’s eyes narrowed to a slit as he snatched his styling mousse, cradling it protectively in his arms. “Tell me, where the hell are you really going tonight? Don’t just say you’re having dinner with Yan Xuming. You’re having dinner with him and still need to use this?”

Maidong ignored him, “I don’t need it then.”

Seeing him seemingly getting angry, Du Chuan shoved the mousse back into his hands. “Use it, use it. Ai, no, Mai-zi, aren’t we all doing this for your own good? You’ve never been in a relationship, and someone’s treating you like a spare tire. Now you’re dressing up so nicely to take them out to dinner. We’re afraid you’ll be fooled and will be left with nothing but your underwear.”

Wu Zimo suddenly remembered something and asked him in a low voice, “Are you coming back tonight?”

Mai Dong was startled by his question and quickly replied, “Of course, I’ll come back! I really am just having dinner with Yan Xuming. If you don’t believe me, ask him.”

Mai Dong swore that when he said, ‘If you don’t believe me, ask him,’ he didn’t mean for Du Chuan to actually go and ask Yan Xuming.

He just said it because he knew that, although Du Chuan knew Yan Xuming, their relationship was only that of WeChat friends. He thought Du Chuan wouldn’t bother Yan Xuming with such a trivial matter.

So, five minutes later, Mai Dong tearfully watched Du Chuan talking on the phone with Yan Xuming.

“Hey, President, it’s Du Chuan. Do you³Polite form of yous were all italicized. remember me? …Yes, yes, right, I’m Xiao Di’s boyfriend and Mai Dong’s roommate. Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to ask, is our Mai-zi having dinner with you tonight? …Oh, yeah? Really? … Ah, nothing, it’s nothing. We just worry about him. He changed into new clothes and put on height-increasing insoles in the dorm. He even borrowed styling mousse from me to do his hair. We thought he was having dinner with that scum woman. Alright, if he’s with you, then we’re reassured. It’s all good now, President, bye-bye.”

Mai Dong’s face turned ashen, “Just ask if you wanted to ask. Why did you have to mention that I used insoles ah!”

The meeting time was 7:00 PM. Mai Dong had prepared a newly released video game cartridge as a gift. A few days ago, Yan Xuming had forwarded a Weibo post about the upcoming release of this game. Mai Dong wasn’t sure if Yan Xuming had bought it.

Mai Dong arrived at the hot pot restaurant at 6:45 PM, only to find Yan Xuming already seated at the table.

His first words were an apology, “Sorry, senior, I’m late.”

Yan Xuming smiled good-naturedly, “It’s not the appointed time yet, it’s me who came early.”

Mai Dong was just about to sit down when he noticed Yan Xuming gazing at him with a smile that wasn’t a smile. He was momentarily unsure whether he should sit or not and asked sluggishly, “What’s wrong?”

Yan Xuming looked at him, “Wearing height-increasing insoles? Doesn’t seem to make much of a difference.”

Mai Dong covered his face with his left hand, dying of shame and anger. He quickly sat down, his voice slightly pained, “No… Du Chuan told you everything, so I just took them out.”

Yan Xuming nodded and handed the menu to Mai Dong. When Mai Dong took it, he seemed to mention it inadvertently, “Which scum woman?”

Mai Dong’s hand trembled, almost dropping the menu to the floor. “No… no scum woman. They just misunderstood.”

Yan Xuming understood, “Did I become a scum woman again?”

Mai Dong looked at him pitifully, “No, no, don’t tease me like that.”

Mai Dong concentrated on ordering as if fleeing.

Yan Xuming didn’t like spicy food, didn’t like pickles, didn’t like pasta, and wasn’t too fond of tomatoes. He liked sweet things and enjoyed sparkling water. These were bits of information Mai Dong had gathered from all corners during his four-year crushing. Whether they were accurate or not, he wasn’t sure.

Considering these “dislikes” and “likes,” Mai Dong ordered a mandarin duck hot pot⁴“Mandarin duck” pot is a hot pot with a divider, containing spicy soup on one side, and mild soup on the other. with bone broth and a combination of mushrooms.

Yan Xuming looked surprised at his unconventional choice of hot pot base, “Don’t you eat spicy food?”

Mai Dong blinked, doubting the accuracy of his little-known information, and cautiously asked, “I thought you don’t eat spicy food?”

Yan Xuming smiled, “Who did you hear that from?”

Mai Dong crossed out his chosen hot pot base and handed the menu to Yan Xuming. “You decide ba. I thought you didn’t like spicy food and also didn’t like tomatoes.”

Yan Xuming reselected the combination of butter and tomato for the hot pot, asking him, “You like spicy food and tomatoes, right?”

Mai Dong nodded.

After ordering, Yan Xuming poured water for Mai Dong.

Mai Dong held his water cup with both hands, lifting it to reach for the water pitcher in Yan Xuming’s hand, resembling a junior employee at a dinner table trying to please a superior. Yan Xuming found it amusing and felt he was cute, but he managed to suppress his laughter, probably afraid that Mai Dong might misunderstand.

Once the water was poured, Mai Dong didn’t drink immediately. Instead, he picked up the neatly wrapped gift.

He was careful when handing it over, afraid that Yan Xuming would not accept it.

“Senior, I saw you forwarding about this game on Weibo. I wasn’t sure if you had bought it, so I took the liberty of preparing it as a gift for you.” Mai Dong’s hand with the gift hovered in the air. Yan Xuming didn’t immediately take it, making Mai Dong retract, thinking he didn’t want to accept his gift. However, unexpectedly, Yan Xuming conjured a box from beside him.

“Why is it always so coincidental? I also prepared a gift for you. But it seems… the gift I prepared is far less valuable than yours. I almost don’t want to give it to you now.” Yan Xuming seemed a bit helpless.

Mai Dong’s battle with the cold lasted quite a while, taking half a month to fully recover.

Initially, he had a fever for two days. After the fever subsided, a prolonged period of cold symptoms followed, with dizziness, nasal congestion, and the most troublesome of all, a persistent cough that took half a month to improve.

Throughout this half-month period, Mai Dong kept thinking about the missed meal, hoping that Yan Xuming would suggest going out for a meal together. However, it seemed like Yan Xuming had forgotten about it. Well, for Yan Xuming, it was truly a trivial matter, easily forgettable. He certainly wouldn’t anticipate it for a whole week like Mai Dong did.

Mai Dong was getting anxious by himself, wanting to bring it up but also fearing it might trouble Yan Xuming.

Recently, sightings of Yan Xuming were rare. It had been two months since the new students enrolled, and last week, there was a change in the student union leadership. The new students who joined the student union were handling the foundational tasks, while the senior students from the second and third years were all promoted. Yan Xuming successfully became the president of the latest term of the student union.

Naturally, he was busier than before. Managing third-year academics, student union responsibilities, and preparing for an internship in the second half of the year made his schedule even more hectic. Despite the workload, many students with connections started seeking internships in the first half of the year.

Mai Dong hesitated to disturb him, enduring until November when the weather had turned thoroughly cold.

A new hot pot restaurant had opened near the school. Du Chuan managed to snag a 9.9 discount voucher with a 50 yuan cap and proudly showed it off in the dorm. This gave Mai Dong an idea, and he decided to take the initiative to message Yan Xuming.

Ma-zi: “Senior, there’s a new hot pot restaurant near the school, and I accidentally grabbed a discount voucher. It would be a shame to waste it. Do you want to have hot pot?”

It was evening when he sent the message, just after dinner. Yan Xuming didn’t reply.

Mai Dong held his phone, eagerly awaiting a response, feeling quite anxious.

During dinner, the two ran into each other in the cafeteria. Yan Xuming was sitting with a guy, enjoying clay pot rice together. Mai Dong had never seen this guy before but guessed he was a new member of the student union.

Given Mai Dong’s level of peeping, he knew everyone close to Yan Xuming. The guy had a bright smile, and most of the conversation seemed to be initiated by him, with Yan Xuming occasionally responding with a smile.

Mai Dong lost the courage to greet them and slinked past them quietly.

Yan Xuming didn’t notice Mai Dong either, he was fully focused on listening to the guy.

In the past, when Yan Xuming got a bit closer to some guys, Mai Dong didn’t feel jealous. However, ever since he suspected Yan Xuming might be gay, whenever Yan Xuming was with a guy or a girl, Mai Dong subconsciously paired them up, comparing whether they looked good together.

Mai Dong knew this was very impolite, but he couldn’t help himself.

The guy seemed to have a lively personality, with a beautiful smile that made Mai Dong think of the popular “happy puppy” circulating online recently. Mai Dong could tell he was gay with just one look; the confidence and brightness in his eyes when looking at Yan Xuming were unmistakable.

Mai Dong couldn’t help but compare himself to the guy, always feeling like he fell short in some way.

So, his grip on the phone loosened a bit, wondering if Yan Xuming had lost interest in replying to his messages because he had a more outstanding pursuer by his side. He now regretted not making more effort to join the student union earlier; then, he might have been the one by Yan Xuming’s side.

Until the evening, Yan Xuming’s message finally arrived.

Yan Xuming: “This place?”

Yan Xuming: [Link]

Mai Dong: “Um, do you want to go?”

Yan Xuming: “I heard the taste is decent.”

Mai Dong instantly speculated, could it be that someone else had invited Yan Xuming to this hot pot place? Is that how he knew it tasted good? Was it the guy he saw in the cafeteria tonight? Mai Dong hesitated for a while, unsure of how to respond. He began editing and deleting in the chat box, contemplating his reply.

At one moment, it was “Do you want to go with me?” Then it became “Oh, have you already eaten?” And then, “Okay, forget it.” Mai Dong was still hesitating when Yan Xuming sent another message.

Yan Xuming: “A friend happened to mention it today, saying the taste is good, and I wanted to invite you to eat together.”

Mai Dong’s hesitation and overthinking vanished in an instant. He immediately reflected on himself, thinking, ‘Heavens ah, Mai Dong, are you turning into someone with a love brain? Why do you believe whatever Yan Xuming says, no matter what you were thinking a moment ago? As long as he says something, you’re easily coaxed.’

Mai Dong admitted defeat to himself and replied happily, “Really? That’s too coincidental!”

Yan Xuming: “Really, tomorrow night?”

Tomorrow is Tuesday, and Mai Dong didn’t expect that Yan Xuming would propose to meet tomorrow.

Last time, they scheduled their meal for Friday. For this reason, Mai Dong waited anxiously for a whole week, only to be ultimately disappointed. He thought Yan Xuming only had time on weekends, so he asked him.

Mai-zi: “Is it convenient for you? Friday night or the weekend works for me.”

Yan Xuming: “I don’t want to wait another week just to miss it at the end, Student Xiao Mai.”

Mai Dong’s heart was about to pop out of his chest, like Tom the cat in cartoons seeing a beautiful white cat—his heart would fly out of his chest so high.

To the extent that he had to place his phone on the table, and take a few deep breaths before he could regain composure to continue chatting with Yan Xuming.

But he didn’t know how to respond.

Mai Dong wasn’t a fool. He could now be sure that Yan Xuming was flirting with him. However, Mai Dong lacked dating experience, let alone experience in flirting.

After he vigorously rubbed his face several times, trying not to smile too exaggeratedly, and steadied his breathing, Mai Dong picked up his phone again, only to find that Yan Xuming had retracted that message.

“Huh???”

Dr. God Mai couldn’t hold back and exclaimed in the dormitory.

Not for anything else, he just hated himself for not taking a screenshot in time! The evidence was gone! The proof that Yan Xuming was flirting with him was gone!

“I f*kng, you scared me! What’s wrong?” Wu Zimo who was playing games on the side was startled, causing his gun to misfire.

“Nothing.” Mai Dong replied weakly.

Yan Xuming sent another new message.

Yan Xuming: “I’m free tomorrow night, is it convenient for you?”

Mai Dong wanted to ask him why he retracted the message when he clearly saw it. But since Yan Xuming retracted it, there must be a reason. Perhaps he wanted to flirt but regretted it afterward, or he no longer wanted to flirt. Asking would only add to the sadness.

Mai-zi: “Um, tomorrow night!”

Yan Xuming: “Okay, go to bed early. Good night.”

Mai-zi: “Good night.”

Mai Dong couldn’t believe this ghost. Clearly, Yan Xuming was about to flirt with him, so why the sudden change of heart?! He inexplicably recalled the bizarre dream he had last night, prompting Mai Dong to jolt upright from his seat.

He had already scared Wu Zimo beside him twice this night with his startling behavior.

Wu Zimo’s in-game character had just been shot in the head. He sighed, pushed his mouse away helplessly, and looked at Mai Dong. “What’s wrong with you ah!”

Mai Dong looked at Wu Zimo solemnly, “What do you think of my figure?”

Wu Zimo’s eyes widened. He slowly reached out to touch Mai Dong’s forehead, and muttered to himself, “No fever, did your brain burn from the previous fever?”

Mai Dong removed his hand and asked him very seriously, “Am I too thin? Do you think it would be good for me to go to the gym and work out a bit?”

Wu Zimo’s expression twisted. Upon hearing Mai Dong’s words, he automatically imagined Mai Dong’s face on a muscular man’s body. Shocked and speechless for half a day, he finally waved his hand, “Too scary, what happened to you all of a sudden?”

After asking, Wu Zimo realized his sudden anxiety about his figure. Most likely, he thought, he is in love or, at the very least, has someone he likes. He squinted, “Oh, last time you denied it, now you have to admit it. You definitely have someone you like. What’s wrong? Is the person’s figure too good, and you feel you’re not worthy of them ah?”

Mai Dong thought for a moment, how was Yan Xuming’s figure?

As he thought about it, his face turned red, recalling the day when Yan Xuming pulled him into his arms downstairs from his dormitory building.

At that time, Mai Dong’s face did indeed hit Yan Xuming’s chest muscles… Help ah. Back then, he didn’t think much of it, but now, it felt so shameful.

So, Mai Dong shook his head seriously and lied, “I don’t have anyone I like.”

Wu Zimo: “…”

No, has anyone ever told Mai Dong that he really can’t lie? His face turned this red and he was shaking his head. Who the hell would believe that ah!

The news that Mai Dong was in love quickly spread throughout the dormitory.

Du Chuan, the only one in the dorm with a girlfriend, came over and playfully put his hand over Mai Dong’s shoulder, “Mai-zi, tell your ge about it, hm? I’m not saying I’m great at relationships, but at least I have some experience. You, as a xueba, there’s no need to guess. I’m sure you haven’t been in a relationship.”

Mai Dong didn’t know why everyone in the dorm refused to believe he wasn’t really in love. He decided to give up resistance, “There’s really no… Yes, I like him.”

Several people in the dorm gathered around, “Huh? She¹Since both 他 and 她 have the same pronunciation as tā, MD’s dormmates thought he referred to was “she”. doesn’t like you ah? Why?”

Mai Dong blinked, “It’s normal not to like me. Why does someone have to like me? He’s excellent, and many people like him.”

Du Chuan furrowed his brows in thought, “From our school?”

Mai Dong nodded. He knew his roommates assumed that the person he liked was a girl, but he didn’t explain. As long as he mentioned it was a guy, it would undoubtedly be guessed as Yan Xuming.

Wu Zimo also pondered, “I haven’t seen you getting close to any girl ah. Wait, are you just silently admiring from a distance? Could it be that the person doesn’t even know you exist?”

Mai Dong was inclined to nod a bit, considering that this was indeed the situation before Yan Xuming found his diary. Back then, he silently admired, and Yan Xuming didn’t even know there was someone like Mai Dong in the world. But now, things have changed, and Yan Xuming was almost getting involved in ambiguous feelings with him.

Mai Dong was torn for a long time, and when Du Chuan noticed, he asked, “Chatting?”

Mai Dong nodded, “Sort of… We chat occasionally. It’s just, sometimes I feel like he treats me as a good friend, sometimes I feel like he wants to flirt a bit, and sometimes I feel like he doesn’t want to bother with me.”

Du Chuan had a look of understanding and made a surprising comment, “Isn’t it obvious ah? She uses you as a spare tire!”

Mai Dong swiftly leaped out of bed like a lightning bolt, bravely lunging towards the desk. His hands pressed onto the diary with an air of concealed nervous tremor, “Uh, Senior, how about not reading it? And… no matter what, you shouldn’t read it in front of me, right? It’s really enough to make someone die of embarrassment.”

Yan Xuming smiled, “Because you scolded me as a scumbag in your diary?”

Help, he really has seen it!

Mai Dong said with a mournful expression, “Don’t be angry, I didn’t mean it, it’s just… it’s just a misunderstanding.”

Yan Xuming nodded understandingly, “En, a misunderstanding.”

Mai Dong slowly squeezed himself into the space between Yan Xuming and the table, attempting to use his body to shield the diary.

He didn’t really think too much about it; right now, the diary was the top priority. His head was still spinning, so how could he still care about anything else?

After successfully maneuvering his entire body into the space, Mai Dong realized just how close he was to Yan Xuming. In fact, their thighs were pressed together. Mai Dong instantly felt like he had lost control of his limbs again, unsure whether to move away or stay put.

Yan Xuming, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to the concept of maintaining distance with a pursuer.

He had no objection to their current position, even raising his hand to touch Mai Dong’s forehead again, “Still very hot. The fever medicine hasn’t taken effect so quickly.”

Mai Dong nodded mechanically, “Um, that’s right.”

Yan Xuming asked, “Since you noticed your umbrella was stolen, why didn’t you call your roommate to pick you up?”

Mai Dong felt quite fortunate that he had taken a shower and gone straight to bed after getting soaked in the rain, rather than unnecessarily sitting down to write in his diary. Otherwise, Yan Xuming wouldn’t have asked this question now. The foolish act of deliberately getting soaked in the rain was something only he knew; there was no need to involve one more person.

Mai Dong cleared his throat, he really wasn’t good at lying, especially when facing Yan Xuming. His gaze flickered, and his tone was unnatural, “Didn’t want to trouble them… it’s just a short distance, I didn’t expect to catch a fever.”

Fortunately, Yan Xuming didn’t press further but instead said, “You can look for me next time.”

Mai Dong didn’t catch on, “What?”

Yan Xuming patiently explained, “If you forget your umbrella next time, just call me, and I’ll come pick you up.”

Mai Dong didn’t nod. He slowly inhaled, his chest rising due to the expansion of his lungs. However, Mai Dong felt that what he was breathing in wasn’t just air; it was more like some kind of scalding emotion, making his eyes well up once again.

Mai Dong had already shed tears today, being feverish had turned his whole face red, and his eyes were damp. He could only blame it on being sick, feeling that his illness had made him so sentimental. Even after crying, he still felt the urge to cry again, as if there were too many emotions inside him that needed to be released through tears.

He softly uttered an “um,” which wasn’t really an agreement but just an acknowledgment.

How could he really bother Yan Xuming over such a trivial matter?

But regardless of whether Yan Xuming was sincere or not, Mai Dong felt that he was being treated well.

In truth, he really wanted to ask Yan Xuming why.

If it were someone other than Mai Dong, would Yan Xuming still act this way? Was he always this gentlemanly and considerate towards pursuers? While it was polite, it wasn’t necessarily a good approach; it would only lead to more misunderstandings and fantasies for the pursuers.

Fantasies that, one day, Yan Xuming might truly enter into a romantic relationship with them.

For now, the diary was temporarily safe.

Not long after, the lecture ended, and his roommates returned one after another.

Yan Xuming didn’t stay for too long. After instructing Mai Dong to rest well over the weekend, he also left.

Mai Dong lay pitifully on the bed, while his three roommates surrounded him with keen scrutiny.

“Talk. What’s going on between you and Yan Xuming?”

“Honestly, spill it. I was already surprised when I saw you two greet each other on the way earlier. I didn’t expect him to come over with medicine when you’re sick. F*ck, I catch a cold, and my partner doesn’t bother buying me medicine or coming to check on me.”

Mai Dong interjected silently, “Du Chuan, maybe it’s because your partner is a girl, and she can’t enter the male’s dormitory?”

Du Chuan squinted his eyes, “Don’t interrupt! How did you suddenly become so familiar with Yan Xuming ah?”

Mai Dong stayed silent, unsure of how to answer his roommates. He didn’t even know why he had become suddenly close to Yan Xuming. If he had to find a reason, it would probably be because Yan Xuming knew Mai Dong liked him. But how could he explain this kind of reason to his roommates?

He could only evade the question, saying, “Not really? It’s just that we planned to have a meal today, but I ended up canceling. Maybe he just stopped by on his way.”

Wu Zimo scoffed, “Stopped on the way? We went to the lecture two hours ago. He just happened to drop by your dorm after sitting there for two hours?”

Mai Dong’s eyes widened too. He had no idea two hours had passed ah! From the time he woke up until Yan Xuming left was at most half an hour. So, Yan Xuming had been sitting there waiting for him for an hour and a half, meaning he spent that time reading his diary!

Mai Dong sniffed, his expression filled with pain.

Before going to sleep, Mai Dong slowly brought his diary back to bed and started reading.

For many people, keeping a diary involves looking through it from time to time. To them, writing in a diary is a way to document life, leaving traces for future reminiscence day by day. However, for Mai Dong, it wasn’t the same. He wrote in his diary only to find a proper place to store his emotions.

This was also the first time Mai Dong revisited his own diary, which he started during the early days of university.

“University is much more relaxed than high school, at least for me. Roommates are so busy that they don’t have time to eat and play games. It seems joining the student union or a club makes them even busier. I’ve thought about whether I should try joining the student union since he’s there.

But then again, maybe not! What if it becomes awkward if we end up as colleagues? I don’t want to be friends with him, just stealing glances and brushing past each other is fine.”

“At the freshman welcome party, I saw him busy backstage, wearing a white shirt and suit pants. He never used to dress like this in high school, but it’s a shame it’s summer, so he’s missing the blazer. He must look really good in it. I’m just a freshman this year, and he’s only a sophomore. I’m already thinking about three years from now. By then, he’ll have graduated, and maybe I won’t see him anymore?”

“After class, I overheard two girls in the front row mention his name. They said there’s a guy from the student union who’s pursuing him. Last week, he bought roses and sent them to his dorm, but he politely rejected him. The guy didn’t give up. He brought him breakfast every day, but he never took a bite. I was a little happy and a little lonely to hear this kind of gossip. I’m glad I’ve never had the intention to confess, so I won’t face rejection.”

Mai Dong flipped through the pages, and when he wrote these entries, he certainly didn’t feel anything unusual. However, looking at them now, it felt both sour and unreasonable.

Of course, people who have a crush tend to be like this. This feeling is somewhat similar to encountering the non-mainstream statements from your middle school days on your QQ space when you’re twenty.

Yan Xuming had seen all these things, and Mai Dong felt upset at the thought.

Why was he upset?

His first reaction wasn’t even shame, although that was certainly part of it. It’s just that this emotion seemed less important in the face of sadness. He always wanted to maintain a bit of dignity for himself. After all, who really wants the person they wrote all those sentimental words about to read them?

The phone placed by his pillow suddenly vibrated.

Mai Dong glanced at the message notification, it was from Yan Xuming.

Yan Xuming: “Do you like seeing me in a shirt?”

Mai Dong was embarrassed to death and quickly explained, “No, no, I was just writing blindly. Don’t take it to heart.”

Yan Xuming: “Oh, don’t like it?”

Mai Dong: “…Like.”

Yan Xuming: “I’ll wear it for you tomorrow, okay?”

Mai Dong was at a loss for words in his response. He was too embarrassed to boldly agree, but, of course, he didn’t want to refuse either.

The sadness from before had dissipated, and now, staring at his phone screen, he felt only a sense of secret joy.

Mai Dong couldn’t help but see himself as a bulging ball, kicked back and forth between his own low self-esteem and cowardice on one side and Yan Xuming’s gentleness and closeness on the other, rolling back and forth.

After pondering for a while, Mai Dong replied with a nodding emoji.

After responding to Yan Xuming’s message, Mai Dong eagerly climbed out of bed to fetch a pen, and lay in bed to add to today’s diary entry.

October 13, 203. Heavy rain.

I feel like he might like me a bit.

Am I being too narcissistic? It shouldn’t be; I don’t think I’m a narcissistic person. But I’m not sure if it’s because I like him that I always misinterpret his actions, mistakenly thinking he likes me too. From his perspective, though, if it’s not because he likes me, why would he attend my debate, why would he ask me out for a meal, why would he greet me when he sees me, and why would he buy medicine for me when I’m sick?

I’m just a pursuer, and the last thing he lacks in his life is pursuers.

Mai Dong, Mai Dong. However, I still have to persuade myself not to casually assume that he likes me. Maybe it’s the fever making my head unclear, like being intoxicated, always feeling like my wishes are about to come true. Perhaps when the fever subsides and the intoxication wears off, I’ll realize it was all just my imagination.¹To imagine that one’s love is reciprocated.

Ah, ah, but he said he’s going to wear a shirt for me tomorrow.

These aren’t words a straight guy would say! Could he not be straight at all? I’ve just assumed he’s straight because that’s the most common sexual orientation. But I’ve never seen him date a girl, so maybe he actually likes guys.

And what about me?

If he likes guys, could I be one of them?

Mai Dong fell asleep in the midst of this problem and surprisingly had a rather bizarre dream.

In the dream, Yan Xuming sat on a bar stool at a gay bar, with a line of male models standing in front of him. Yan Xuming had a playful expression, his gaze sweeping over the row of male models. He lazily extended a finger, pointing a few times, “You, you, and you, stay. The rest, leave.”

Mai Dong also stood in front of Yan Xuming, but he wasn’t one of those asked to stay.

He was momentarily stirred up and stepped forward to question, “Why? What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t you keep me!”

Yan Xuming frowned at him, wearing a clearly disdainful expression, “Not tall enough, ass not perky enough, and seems lacking in charm.”

Mai Dong abruptly opened his eyes, relieved to see the familiar bed curtain in front of him. Then, he slowly sat up, stared for a moment, and knelt back on the bed. He turned his head to look behind him, silently and pitifully doubting himself, “Huh? Not perky?”

---

Author’s Note:

Perky.

Mai Dong woke up in a daze, unsure of how long he slept. It felt like he had just emerged from a tiresome dream, and as his consciousness returned, a wave of soreness engulfed his entire body. Feeling uncomfortable, he let out a couple of “hmph” sounds, suspecting if he had been in a dream fighting with Lei Gong’s thunder mother.¹Lei Gong or Duke of Thunder, the God of Thunder in Chinese mythology.

Opening his eyes, he sensed that his breathing was scorching hot. He laboriously raised his hand to touch his forehead.

Sh**! It was hotter than it was in the afternoon. Mai Dong self-derided, deeply feeling that he deserved it. Propping himself up, he pulled back the bed curtain, intending to find an unlucky roommate to fetch him some fever-reducing medicine.

There was someone sitting in his chair, and Mai Dong frowned subconsciously.

Since Mai Dong had a habit of writing in his diary, no one usually occupied his seat. Everyone was usually quite polite, afraid of accidentally stumbling upon someone else’s secrets.

With his vision not quite clear, feeling dizzy from the fever, and having just woken up, Du Chuan was the tallest in the dormitory, and Mai Dong thought it was Du Chuan sitting there.

“Du Chuan, can you help me find some fever medicine?” Mai Dong’s voice was weak.

“Where?” The person responded like this.

This voice was definitely not Du Chuan’s, but Mai Dong’s head was a mess of porridge, and the more familiar the voice sounded, the more he couldn’t recall. Frowning in contemplation, he saw the person turn their head, holding a plastic bag and shaking it towards him, “Eat this? I bought it.”

Mai Dong opened his mouth but remained silent for a long time.

He maintained the posture of half-opening the curtain and half-sitting up, his cheeks burning red.

After an afternoon nap, his head sported a chicken nest hairdo.

Yan Xuming walked over, reaching out to touch Mai Dong’s forehead directly, then furrowed his brow, “So hot, how did it get this bad?”

Mai Dong lethargically called his name, “Yan Xuming.”

Yan Xuming responded, “En, feeling uncomfortable?”

Mai Dong abruptly lay back on the bed, his mouth pursed into a thin line as tears streamed down. He never wanted to cry in such an ugly manner, but at the sight of Yan Xuming, all the accumulated grievances of the day burst forth. It was sad to bear the fever, sad not to have a meal with Yan Xuming, and sad to cope with the stolen umbrella—Everything was just so sad!

If Yan Xuming hadn’t come, it wouldn’t have been this sad.

But Yan Xuming came, and he became very, very sad.

Mai Dong tightly clutched the edge of the bed curtain, afraid that Yan Xuming would discover him shamefully shedding tears if he pulled it back. Yet, the tears fell so hard that he couldn’t help but want to sniff, but dared not to make a sound.

After holding it in for a while, fearing that his snot might end up on the bed, he couldn’t bear it any longer and forcefully sniffed.

Now, he really couldn’t hold it in. Even if Yan Xuming stood outside the bed curtain, he could hear a fool secretly sniffling inside.

“Crying? Why are you crying? Mai Dong, pull the curtain open, okay?”

No way, it’s too embarrassing. Mai Dong replied in his mind.

“Is it that unbearable? Come down, I’ll take you to the hospital.”

I don’t want to go to the hospital, it’s not that unbearable. I’m just being overly dramatic. Mai Dong once again answered him in his mind.

Mai Dong cried for a while, not really for a long time. He felt ashamed when he first started crying. What’s the big deal? Was it worth crying so much? Obviously not, and Mai Dong also knew why he was crying.

Suddenly, the shattered hope was delicately pieced back together when Yan Xuming unexpectedly came to the dormitory to see him.

So, as he cried, he simultaneously persuaded himself to calm down. Don’t cry, it’s so embarrassing, quickly stop!

In about four or five minutes, Mai Dong sniffled and adjusted his emotions.

In those four or five minutes, Yan Xuming uttered just a couple of sentences, and there were no other words. Outside the bed curtain, everything remained quiet. Mai Dong even doubted if he had hallucinated in his feverish state and if Yan Xuming was never actually in his dormitory.

So, he sneakily opened a slit in the bed curtain and indeed saw someone standing outside.

Mai Dong pulled back the bed curtain, perhaps due to being sick, his tone carried a hint of coquettishness that he himself wasn’t aware of, “Why did you come?”

Yan Xuming turned to prepare the fever-reducing medicine, “Seeing you say you have a fever, I guess you might have gotten caught in the rain. I don’t know if you had any medicine, so I bought some to check.”

Mai Dong pouted, “I had an umbrella, left it in the corridor, and it got stolen when I came out after class.”

Yan Xuming shook the medicine cup, evenly distributing the granules, then tested the cup’s temperature with the back of his hand before handing it to Mai Dong, coaxing him like a child, “I’ll help you find it back, okay?”

Mai Dong could tell from his tone that it wasn’t the way he talked with an adult man. He knew Yan Xuming was teasing him again, so he took the cup and replied, “No need, it’s not an expensive umbrella. I’ll just buy another one.”

Yan Xuming had jokingly asked him if he was rich before and Mai Dong said he had a little.

Yan Xuming teased him again, “Rich second-generation ah?”

Mai Dong nodded with a hint of pride, “Um.”

Yan Xuming was genuinely a bit surprised, “Really?”

Mai Dong explained very seriously, “Maybe a third-generation rich kid? My grandfather is a veteran artist. He’s the honorary president of the Calligraphy Association. My grandmother is a diplomat, my dad deals in antiques, and my mom is a surgeon.” He earnestly explained the rather… unique background of his family. He was indeed a genuinely rich young master, but even though Mai Dong was in his sophomore year, not a single person knew about his family background, not even his roommates.

In any case, the series of professions that Mai Dong listed would make anyone envious if considered individually. And to have all of them in one family, yet remain so low-key? No wonder he had always been a xueba, the genes were there.

Yan Xuming was speechless for a moment, it was rare for someone who could usually find words for any situation.

Mai Dong, however, didn’t feel that his family background was particularly awe-inspiring. He had grown up in such an environment, never flaunting or being proud. It was only during the silence that followed Yan Xuming’s surprise that Mai Dong slowly realized it seemed only the two of them were in the dormitory.

Mai Dong asked, “Where are the others?”

Yan Xuming said, “There’s a lecture tonight, and they’ve all been dragged there to fill the seats.”

Mai Dong exclaimed, “Ah? Listening to a lecture on such a rainy night.”

Yan Xuming seemed a bit helpless, “Student Mai-zi, the rain stopped at two in the afternoon.”

… T T

Mai Dong felt like crying again.

Then why did he have to inexplicably act out an awkward scene from a sorrowful youth idol drama, suffering from a high fever and literally missing the chance to have dinner with Yan Xuming!

The rain had stopped at two in the afternoon, and although Mai Dong had briefly awakened during that time, he hadn’t noticed at all.

Before passing out, Mai Dong had sworn never to harbor any more fantasies. But upon opening his eyes, the object of his fantasies was right in front of him. Dr. God Mai was also helpless. It’s not that he didn’t want to give up on Yan Xuming early, but Yan Xuming himself always conveniently appeared at the most opportune moments, picking up Mai Dong’s ashen heart and recoloring it.

So, taking ten thousand steps back, if Mai Dong talked about liking Yan Xuming, isn’t there anything wrong with Yan Xuming!

Dr. God Mai dejectedly flopped at the edge of the bed.

Yan Xuming was busy washing the cup, the one Mai Dong had just used to take the fever-reducing medicine.

Mai Dong didn’t dare to look in that direction, afraid that seeing Yan Xuming patiently taking care of him would make it even harder to resist. His gaze wandered around and suddenly settled on the spot where Yan Xuming had been sitting, which happened to be Mai Dong’s own desk.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

If he wasn’t mistaken, the thing spread out on that table was his diary!

Mai Dong took a deep breath, and choked unexpectedly on it, erupting into a fit of intense coughing.

He couldn’t care less about the dizziness in his head. Mai Dong tried to get out of bed but was promptly stopped and gently pushed back by Yan Xuming.

“Where are you going?” Yan Xuming looked at him.

“You… How could you peek at someone else’s privacy!” Mai Dong was angry, Mai Dong was really angry!

Yan Xuming followed Mai Dong’s gaze and knew what he was referring to. However, there was no guilt on that handsome face. Instead, he wore an unapologetic and somewhat scoundrel expression, “Your privacy or my privacy? A week’s worth of diary entries contained ‘I really like him,’ isn’t that more of my privacy?”

You!

You!

Mai Dong was dumbfounded, seemingly taken aback by the sudden display of Yan Xuming’s rogue side. He couldn’t immediately figure out what was wrong with what he said. It seemed, that, that there might be some truth to it. After all, the only thing related to Mai Dong’s privacy in that diary was him liking Yan Xuming, while the entries about Yan Xuming’s privacy were countless.

These included but were not limited to what clothes Yan Xuming wore on a certain day, who he had meals with, how he appeared to be in a good or bad mood on specific days, and so on.

Yan Xuming’s rogue demeanor swiftly disappeared, replaced by a benevolent smile, “I didn’t know when you would wake up, and I didn’t have the heart to wake you up, so I had to find something to do. I just thought that if I asked you for it, you would definitely agree, so… was it a bit offensive?”

Since he asked, Mai Dong naturally gave an unassertive response, “Well, no. If you want to see it… it’s just that my diary is quite boring, not worth wasting time on.”

Yan Xuming smiled warmly, “I don’t find it boring, it’s quite interesting actually.”

Mai Dong was suffering from a fever, and his head wasn’t exactly sharp in front of Yan Xuming, to begin with. Now, with the fever, he was even less coherent. Yan Xuming initially read from the beginning, during the early days of their freshmen year. Mai Dong’s diary was indeed quite boring, mainly documenting incidents of a “peeping tom” and “chance encounter maniac.”

But when the awakened Mai Dong interrupted him, he simply flipped to the latest page and began reading backward.

Mai Dong stared blankly at the other male protagonist in his diary, who was engrossed in reading the text with relish. Slowly, some thoughts sluggishly flashed through his dull mind—

“I guess straight guys are all like this. They always say things that can be easily misunderstood, like saying ‘Came to see you,’ which couldn’t possibly mean seeing me, but they insist on saying it.

“Yan Xuming, you bastard!”

“But I don’t want to be a male mistress ah!”

“Do you straight guys really lack friends that much? Why be friends with a gay guy who likes you ah!”

Mai Dong felt his vision darken. It’s over, was he about to go blind from the fever?

Mai Dong’s diary was still being written every day.

The content was repetitive and somewhat dull. It was nothing more than recording daily insights about liking Yan Xuming.

There was very little about his own life in the diary. He only attended classes, ate, and did homework–not much worth writing about. Only things related to Yan Xuming trigger emotional fluctuations in Mai Dong, deemed worthy of recording.

They would occasionally cross paths at school, but Mai Dong never dared to initiate a greeting.

When Yan Xuming didn’t see Mai Dong, the two would just brush past each other. When Yan Xuming spotted Mai Dong from afar, he would wave to him.

Every time Yan Xuming greeted him, Mai Dong would turn around to check if there were Yan Xuming’s acquaintances behind him.

After numerous occurrences, Yan Xuming once playfully scolded him, giving his head a firm rub, “Don’t want to see me that much? You always hide when I greet you.”

Mai Dong almost stood at attention and saluted. He was visibly anxious, “I didn’t, I didn’t know you were waving at me.”

Before the Friday meal with Yan Xuming came, this pattern of interaction persisted throughout the entire week.

Mai Dong’s heart fluttered up and down, occasionally wondering if Yan Xuming was really indulging him, perhaps harboring some affection. Most of the time, he dared not entertain such thoughts, for fear of misunderstanding, disappointment, and sadness. Thus, encountering Yan Xuming always made him nervous, prompting avoidance and stiff limbs.

But in the eyes of Mai Dong’s roommates, this was not the case.

These two individuals clearly exhibit a level of familiarity typical of close friends.

Wait, when did Mai Dong even meet Yan Xuming ah?

Du Chuan truly didn’t understand. Weren’t they complete strangers a few days ago? Yan Xuming found Mai Dong’s diary, or rather, he connected the two on WeChat after finding some common ground there. It’s only been a few days, how did they become so familiar?

Who is Yan Xuming?

The Vice President of the Student Union at Nanjing University is handsome with a good personality. There are a lot of boys and girls chasing him. How could someone like him be so easily acquainted with? Honestly, Du Chuan has long wanted to establish a connection with Yan Xuming. From a pragmatic perspective, knowing someone like Yan Xuming is a valuable social network for the future. Who wouldn’t want to befriend him?

Now, let’s talk about Mai Dong.

Mai Dong doesn’t really have many friends, not because of a bad personality, but because of his reserved and aloof demeanor as a big xueba.¹Top student. Besides borrowing homework and asking him to present ppt, no one usually takes the initiative to talk to Mai Dong. Although his roommates know he’s actually easy to get along with, others perceive Mai Dong as a studious loner, unaware that he spends his days quietly writing in his diary.

Mai Dong and Yan Xuming are engaged in conversation, oblivious to the hushed whispers of their nearby roommates.

“Do they know each other ah?”

“I don’t know, they didn’t know each other a few days ago ah.”

“Didn’t Yan Xuming pick up his diary? He probably opened it, took a look, and that’s how they got to know each other.”

“Can it happen like that? Has anyone here read Mai Dong’s diary?”

“No, feels like it’s some kind of treasure or something.”

“Writing a diary, what’s there to write about? I only wrote for a few days in elementary school. There’s not that much stuff to write about ah. My elementary school diary was so funny. Today, my mom took me to the supermarket. I wanted a new Ultraman card set, but my mom didn’t want to buy it for me. I said I could do chores in exchange, and my mom told me to get lost.”

A few people had their arms on each other shoulders and laughed together.

Yan Xuming glanced back, lifting his chin, “They’re your roommates, right? They’re waiting for you. Go ahead.”

Mai Dong nodded modestly, “Um, then I’m leaving.”

Yan Xuming didn’t move, didn’t turn around or leave, his gaze still fell on Mai Dong’s face.

So, Mai Dong hesitated to turn around. He’s a peculiar person, not intentionally speaking in contradictions; he genuinely didn’t want to meet Yan Xuming. Meeting too often deepened his fantasies, yet once they met, he couldn’t bear to part, fearing it might be the last time.

Yan Xuming smiled, “Anything else?”

Mai Dong licked his lips, “It’s nothing, can you go first?”

Yan Xuming raised an eyebrow. He didn’t dwell on it, and turned away, leaving.

Mai Dong stood still, watching Yan Xuming’s departing figure for a while. He was accustomed to watching Yan Xuming’s back. In the four years before Yan Xuming found his diary, Mai Dong had been watching Yan Xuming’s back for four years. Finally, with a lingering reluctance, he turned and returned to his roommates.

Wu Zimo had a knowing look on his face, “Mai-zi, your meal together is tomorrow, right?”

Mai Dong’s heart skipped a beat. Although Wu Zimo’s question sounded ordinary, just having a meal together, in Mai Dong’s ears, it felt like, ‘Mai-zi, you like him, right?’

He nodded, unsure if he was responding to the meal or to liking Yan Xuming.

Du Chuan hooked his arm around Mai Dong’s shoulder. He said somewhat threateningly, “You two got to know each other pretty fast. You didn’t even have each other on WeChat before. Did he read your diary?”

Mai Dong nodded again, “I don’t know, but he probably read it. Since he picked it up, he must have opened it for a glance.”

Du Chuan playfully extended his hand, “Show it to your bro too, huh? No, seriously, I’m curious about what you write every day. Is it convenient? Are there any little secrets of budding romance?”

Mai Dong gave him a cold look, “Not convenient!”

Du Chuan made a hissing sound, “No, seriously, if there are secrets, I can’t see, but he can? Writing bad things about me in the diary? Ah, you kid!”

Mai Dong remained silent, while Wu Zimo laughed at Du Chuan’s self-inflicted embarrassment. The two of them then engaged in lively banter, playfully teasing each other.

Mai Dong walked ahead, silently criticizing, ‘See, this is what straight guys do.’

They would casually ask for your diary without a sense of boundaries and they don’t mean any harm. They couldn’t consider that this was something only done in very intimate relationships, and even then, not everyone would be comfortable with it. Yet, straight guys would casually do such things.

Tomorrow is Friday, and Mai Dong’s pen is ready to take flight.

October 12, 2023. Sunny

The weather forecast predicts that there will be light rain and it will be windy tomorrow.

Letterman Mai Dong was willing to be a vegetarian for three days, begging that the wind could blow the dark clouds away. Tomorrow is a great day! It mustn’t rain!

Today, I met him outside at the sports field. He initiated a greeting and we exchanged a few trivial words, like asking about classes and what’s the next class. He heard about that teacher and apparently, they are a decent person. I’m starting to feel like he sees me as a friend. Hey, straight guys, do you really lack friends that much? Why be friends with a gay who likes you ah! But I can’t bring myself to actively sever our relationship. Liking someone is truly the most self-troubling thing in the world.

I haven’t done my homework yet, and I feel completely out of the mood.

It feels like my heart has been brewed with rice wine and I’m about to get drunk.

What will he say to me tomorrow? Probably nothing much, just friends having a meal, chatting about ordinary things, and sharing interesting stories from our lives. My god, all the interesting things in my life are related to him. What can I possibly talk about ah!

I must watch some friends chatting vlogs, and steal a few topics from people’s dining conversations, so I can seem like a genuinely pure and good friend.

Please, please, pray that everything goes well tomorrow!

After finishing the diary and his homework, it was already ten o’clock when Mai Dong climbed into bed.

He really watched a few vlogs and unexpectedly discovered that there are few guys in the world who record vlogs of friends chatting. Girls discuss this topic more; summarizing it, it’s like “badmouthing others, discussing deceased exes, and reporting progress with people they’re ambiguous with.”

Mai Dong was speechless; he had no one to speak ill of, no deceased or current exes, and certainly no ambiguous relationships. There was, however, one person he secretly admired, sitting right across from him.

Dr. God Mai has been feeling frustrated before going to bed these days!

He covered his head once again and hummed himself to sleep.

It was supposed to be a day eagerly anticipated all week, but the start turned out to be quite rough.

As soon as Mai Dong opened his eyes and pulled back the curtain to check the weather outside, the sky was heavily overcast, and heavy rain was pouring down. It was worse than expected. Last night’s weather forecast clearly stated that there was only light rain, but now it was heavy rain accompanied by strong winds. It didn’t seem like a suitable weather to go out for a meal.

Feeling a bit disheartened, Mai Dong automatically assumed that today’s meeting would surely be canceled.

Perhaps his early morning negative attitude had already set the tone for the day. After the first morning class ended, Mai Dong found that his umbrella was gone as soon as he left the classroom. The rain was pouring down, and everyone’s umbrellas were dripping wet. People had placed their umbrellas at the classroom door to let them drain, and Mai Dong naturally did the same.

To make matters worse, he was the last one to leave the classroom. Wu Zimo’s umbrella was stolen last time and kept forgetting to buy a new one. So, his three roommates walked ahead under two umbrellas. Because Mai Dong hadn’t finished his notes yet, he stayed back for a while to organize them. But he didn’t expect that his umbrella would be gone as soon as he went out.

The next class was in a different building.

Suddenly, Mai Dong’s mood took a turn for the worse.

Because this past week had been so delightful for him, the only thing he did each day was anticipate the arrival of Friday. He fantasized about various Fridays, some blue, some pink, some orange, some purple, but never did he imagine it would be a blank one.

He sent a WeChat to the professor, expressing his desire for leave on the next class like having a tantrum.

Mai Dong has always had good grades and never took leaves. Although academic performance is no longer the sole criterion for evaluating students in university, the professor still tends to subconsciously show more understanding towards the traditional notion of a “good student.”

The professor approved Mai Dong’s leave and even asked Mai Dong with concern, “Are you okay, Mai Dong? Did you encounter any trouble? If there’s anything, just let me know.”

Mai Dong replied with four rather aloof words, “It’s okay, thank you.”

He also didn’t want to ask his roommates to come back with an umbrella to pick him up. Without any reason, he was angry with himself and hated himself for being an unlucky person. It hadn’t rained all week, and of all days, it chose Friday! He hated himself for being overly hopeful this week, almost to the point of getting carried away. That’s why he felt so sad now.

Not sure what got into him, he ran back to the dorm in the rain. While running, he was spitting at himself in his heart: Hehe, it really feels like shooting an idol drama. What the hell ah, Dr. God Mai! Secretly admiring someone has made you delirious!

One should refrain from casually spitting oneself. By the afternoon, Mai Dong was indeed delirious.

He dozed off until around four o’clock, and when he touched his forehead, it was burning hot—He had a fever.

Mai Dong was so angry that he punched and kicked on the bed. See! Letting yourself indulge in some sorrowful youth idol drama, even running in the pouring rain. You deserve to have a fever ah!

After throwing a fit, Mai Dong felt frustrated again and hated the heavy rain today. The evening meeting with Yan Xuming was now 100% ruined. Only then did he think to reach for his phone and check if Yan Xuming had already sent him a message, perhaps suggesting to cancel their plans for the night.

Surprisingly, there were no messages from Yan Xuming. In the dormitory group chat, probably after his roommates noticed he missed the second morning class and came back to find him sleeping at noon, they asked what was going on.

Mai Dong replied it was nothing, saying he caught a bit of a cold.

Sure enough, things always turn out like this—The more one anticipates, the worse the disappointment. Whether it’s having a meal with Yan Xuming or having feelings for him, Mai Dong felt that he couldn’t harbor any more expectations or fantasies.

He opened the chat with Yan Xuming.

He thought a bit mischievously, ‘Let me be the one to initiate canceling plans this time!’

So, he sent: “Senior, I have a slight fever. I won’t be joining you for dinner tonight.”

After sending the message, he lay back down as he thought, ‘Out of sight, out of mind!’

Six days remained until Mai Dong would have a meal together with Yan Xuming.

Mai Dong was in a dilemma. Although it’s normal for people of the same gender to have meals together, Mai Dong wasn’t just an ordinary friend. He was gay, and what’s more, he had feelings for Yan Xuming.

Then the matter of him eating with Yan Xuming will become quite impure.

His distress and dilemma were meticulously recorded in his diary.

October 8, 2023. Clear Skies

It seems like I should decline the dinner invitation. Straight guys’ thinking is always so straightforward, even dirty! Or rather, it’s both simple and dirty. Even if I like Yan Xuming, I can’t excuse him. Although he has a girlfriend, having a meal together just to turn down an admirer is seen as completely reasonable in their minds.

But I don’t want to be a male mistress ah!

On the other hand, whether he’s in a relationship is unknown. This shouldn’t be me deceiving myself, right? They’re not officially a couple. The whole relationship thing is just speculation.

I really want to ask him. I don’t want to believe he’s a bad person, and I definitely don’t want to believe he’s a wishy-washy player. Um, let’s consider it as proving to myself that I’m not a fool who misjudges people–I should ask him, right?

If he is really in a relationship, then I won’t go to dinner with him!

Having written this, Mai Dong took out his phone again.

While making the resolution in his diary to ask Yan Xuming about his relationship with Liu Qiangwei, he hesitated and felt a bit timid when actually considering picking up the phone.

He had to admit to his own selfishness and inferior nature, thinking that even if Yan Xuming had a girlfriend, he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to have dinner with him. However, after pondering for a while, he began to feel uneasy about this train of thought.

Hold on, Mai Dong, do you really want to become a male mistress!

Absolutely not!

If Yan Xuming turned out to be a scumbag, then courageous Mai Dong shouldn’t continue liking him!

So, Mai Dong tapped on the keyboard of his phone screen.

Mai-zi: “Senior, I want to ask you something.”

Yan Xuming: “En?”

Mai-zi: “I feel like, if you have a girlfriend, I might not be suitable to have a meal with you.”

Yan Xuming: “Girlfriend?”

Mai-zi: “When you went to the debate last time, was it because of Liu Qiangwei?”

Yan Xuming: “Who told you that?”

Mai-zi: “…Anyway, I just know.”

Yan Xuming: “If I have a girlfriend, why wouldn’t it be suitable to have a meal with me?”

Mai Dong angrily poked his phone. Look, he’s definitely a scumbag!

Such an obvious reason, and he still asks why!

But Mai Dong felt awkward about saying it directly. Should he say, “Because I like you”? After hesitating for a while, editing and deleting, he typed at one point, “Because I like you,” deleted it, then wrote, “Because of that diary, you saw it, right?” and deleted that too.

Frustrated with all the editing, Mai Dong became a bit angry.

Mai-zi: “Anyway, let’s not have a meal together!”

Yan Xuming: “Are you referring to Liu Qiangwei when you mention a girlfriend?”

Mai-zi: “Yes!”

Yan Xuming: “Mai Dong, you really know how to set me up.”

Yan Xuming: “Liu Qiangwei has a girlfriend.”

Mai Dong suddenly sat upright, staring at Yan Xuming’s message.

Liu-Liu-Liu Qiangwei has a girlfriend!

Before he could fully process this information, Yan Xuming’s phone call had already come through.

Mai Dong suddenly felt guilty. Terrible! He had unintentionally suspected Yan Xuming of being in a relationship with a lesbian! Who knew Liu Qiangwei doesn’t like guys ah! He didn’t dare to answer, afraid that Yan Xuming would scold him. His eyes darted around, pretending not to notice someone calling him.

He continued to avoid answering until the call automatically ended. After waiting for three minutes, he reluctantly decided to explain.

Mai-zi: “Oh, I just went to the bathroom and didn’t see it.”

As a result, Yan Xuming called again.

Why is he like this? What’s wrong with just texting? If that’s not possible, sending a voice message would work. Why does he love making phone calls so much! Mai Dong found it challenging to talk to Yan Xuming on the phone and even avoided meeting him. He knew that he had to think carefully about every word and every sentence he said to Yan Xuming’s face in order to be polite and restrained. However, phone calls didn’t provide him with the opportunity for that deep consideration.

With no escape, Mai Dong reluctantly answered.

All he heard were two words.

“Go downstairs.”

……

Mai Dong felt like crying without tears.

Silently apologizing in his heart to Yan Xuming, who had been called a scumbag for two days, apologizing to Liu Qiangwei, whom he had unknowingly paired with in his dream, and even apologizing to Liu Qiangwei’s girlfriend, whom he didn’t even know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s all my fault for mixing the mandarin duck list. ¹Term used for affectionate couples. Wishing you all happiness!

He dared not go downstairs, feeling guilty as if he were a thief.

He originally suspected that Yan Xuming had a girlfriend these past two days and had given Mai Dong a hint of determination, thinking he shouldn’t like this scumbag anymore. However, with the sudden clarification of the misunderstanding, that bit of determination vanished, and willingly, he fell back into the honey jar named Yan Xuming.

Happy and elated once again.

Then, Yan Xuming wasn’t there to watch the debate for Liu Qiangwei, he was really there for Mai Dong. Then, Yan Xuming didn’t have a girlfriend. He was even willing to explain it to him. What did that mean? Mai Dong didn’t know exactly what it meant, but at least it indicated that Yan Xuming didn’t dislike him.

As he descended the stairs, he saw Yan Xuming standing under a tree, holding a cup of milk tea.

That person was wearing a dark blue long-sleeved shirt rolled up to his forearms. Mai Dong knew where he was heading. Today was the school’s welcome party, and Yan Xuming, being the vice president of the student union, would definitely be present.

Yan Xuming rarely wore formal attire, and Mai Dong heard that during the student union election, formal wear was mandatory, but unfortunately, Mai Dong had never seen him dressed that way.

Today, he had a feast for the eyes.

Yan Xuming didn’t look like a third-year university student. He exuded a mature aura as if he had already stepped into society. The milk tea bag he was holding, however, was cute, a bit out of place yet exceptionally sweet.

Mai Dong walked as if he were a primary school student in a marching band, almost moving his hands and feet in sync. He fluttered over to Yan Xuming and spoke obediently, “Sen… Senior.”

Before Yan Xuming could say anything, he quickly started to defend himself.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to talk nonsense. Don’t be angry. They said you went to the debate to see Liu Qiangwei, and that you’re dating her. I, I heard it from someone else, not something I made up. Of course, believing what others say without verification is also wrong. I know I was wrong, so please don’t…”

Mai Dong felt that his explanation was on point, and his apology was sincere.

However, Yan Xuming interrupted him.

“Alright, why are you apologizing so much?” After saying this, he handed the milk tea over, “Want some?”

Mai Dong took the milk tea like a robot, “Did you buy it for me?”

Yan Xuming raised an eyebrow, “Otherwise? Did I accidentally get a buy-one-get-one-free deal while buying for my girlfriend and had nowhere to dispose of the extra, so I gave it to you?”

Mai Dong looked at Yan Xuming in astonishment. Yan Xuming was really amazing. He had perfectly guessed what Mai Dong was thinking!

The two of them stood at the dormitory entrance. The freshmen in their first year had evening classes, and it was now the time after the evening classes had concluded.

The freshmen were heading towards the dormitory; some were playfully chasing each other, passing by the two of them. One of them accidentally bumped into Mai Dong. Because Yan Xuming was standing across from him, Mai Dong felt so nervous that his limbs wouldn’t obey him.

A couple more people ran past them, and Yan Xuming quickly pulled Mai Dong to the side.

The streetlamp overhead illuminated the scene, and on the summer night, there were many mosquitoes, creating small dark dots swirling around the lamplight.

Underneath the streetlamp, Mai Dong found himself pressed against Yan Xuming’s chest.

His breath had already stopped, mechanically inhaling air into his lungs with an open mouth. The scent of Yan Xuming permeated his nasal passages. He was certain that Yan Xuming had taken a bath this evening, as the unmistakable fragrance of mint shower gel lingered.

Then, Yan Xuming’s hand rested on Mai Dong’s waist, his tone gentle yet resigned, “Why didn’t you hide?”

Mai Dong vaguely murmured, “Um,” but, in reality, he hadn’t heard what Yan Xuming had asked at all.

He didn’t dare to move, fearing that the warmth would shift away from his waist with the slightest motion.

It felt like he had a fever; every area touched by Yan Xuming triggered an allergic reaction–Red, hot, and itchy. His heart in his chest was beating wildly, and his breath and heartbeat were on the verge of composing a symphony.

“Um what um? I’m asking you why you didn’t hide.”

Mai Dong’s ears caught Yan Xuming’s question, but his brain seemed unresponsive, like an adorably maddening piece of wood. He seriously doubted if he had fallen into the trap of a beautiful dream. Greedily, he used his nose to sniff Yan Xuming for a long time and then uttered amazing words.

“Yan Xuming, what brand of shower gel do you use?”

The next day, Mai Dong strolled through the supermarket, pushing a shopping cart containing the shower gel brand that Yan Xuming couldn’t resist laughing about the previous night and generously shared.

He didn’t want to be this embarrassed either ah!

He didn’t want to actually sneakily buy the same shower gel ah!

But he couldn’t control himself ah!

Mai Dong’s face twisted into a grimace. He was angry at himself for asking such a foolish question last night and even more furious with himself for actually coming to buy a bunch of the same shower gel. It felt like he was some kind of a perverted stalker.

Mai Dong was wandering through the largest supermarket on campus, almost rivaling regular malls’ supermarkets. As he turned into the snack section, he unexpectedly spotted a familiar figure–It was Liu Qiangwei and another girl. Liu Qiangwei was tall, around 1.75 meters, while the other girl appeared much smaller. She was happily holding a large bag of potato chips and laughing with Liu Qiangwei.

Mai Dong’s apologetic target now materialized into a real person, and he once again apologized in his mind to Liu Qiangwei and her girlfriend. I’m sorry, you both seem so happy, and I did something like that in my dreams!

Encountering Liu Qiangwei and her girlfriend served as a reminder for Mai Dong.

That reminder was that Yan Xuming indeed didn’t have a girlfriend. He was still single, and being single meant that Mai Dong still had a chance.

Of course, he has low self-esteem in front of people he likes. Mai Dong never thought he was worthy enough to date Yan Xuming, but he would ponder over why Yan Xuming repeatedly indulged in letting him like him. Why would an ordinary straight guy, upon learning that another guy liked him, not only not reject him but also meet up multiple times, and even bring him milk tea?

The answer was clearly impossible.

Mai Dong never imagined he would one day date Yan Xuming. Sure, he might fantasize that Yan Xuming also liked him, but such fantasies only provided emotional positivity and didn’t involve envisioning himself actually being with Yan Xuming.

If before last night, he thought Yan Xuming inviting him for dinner was a way to reject him, after drinking that cup of milk tea, which left Mai Dong rolling in his bed from sweetness, he should now realize that Yan Xuming didn’t seem to want to reject him.

Of course, there was no indication that Yan Xuming wanted to accept him either.

The dinner date was set for next Friday, so Mai Dong started looking forward to it this Saturday.

When Mai Dong was admitted to Nanjing University, it was also during the summer. His aunt had bought him an expensive set of clothes, a seemingly ordinary short-sleeved shirt that cost a whopping four thousand yuan. Although he brought it to college, he had never worn it.

After the dinner, the first thing he did when he returned to the dormitory was rummaging through his things to find that set of clothes.

One of Mai Dong’s roommates, named Wu Zimo, was a rich second-generation. He had seen Mai Dong in this set of clothes back in their freshman year. Naturally, he recognized the value of it and was surprised to find out that Mai Dong was also a rich second-generation. He wondered why he was so low-key.

Mai Dong had to explain that he would never usually buy such expensive clothes. It was a gift from his aunt when he got admitted to Nanjing University.

After a year, Wu Zimo saw Mai Dong take out this set of battle armor again and raised an eyebrow, asking if he had a crush on a girl.

Mai Dong felt a bit embarrassed but didn’t deny it. It wasn’t exactly lying because the person he liked wasn’t a girl, “No, I just wanted to… feel like there might not be many chances to wear it. It’s too attention-grabbing, isn’t it?”

Wu Zimo shrugged, “Just wear it. It doesn’t look much different from a hundred yuan one on Taobao. These big brands ah, big brands are just for showing off by rich people. Besides, your brand is so niche, and it doesn’t have a tacky big logo. No one will recognize it.”

Mai Dong shook his head, “Forget it. What if he recognizes it and thinks I’m showing off my wealth?”

Wu Zimo chuckled, “She?”¹MD said 他 which is “he” but WZ thought it was 她 she, since both are pronounced the same. The difference can be seen through writing. Spill the beans ba. Come on, spill it. Who are you going on a date with?”

It’s as if secret admirers have superpowers; even when their crush is at such an advanced stage, they manage to keep it a secret from everyone around them. The fact that Mai Dong likes Yan Xuming is known only to himself, his diary—and now Yan Xuming himself. No one else knows.

It’s not that Mai Dong is afraid to admit he likes guys, or that he’s afraid of being mocked for liking someone like Yan Xuming. He just feels that liking someone is his own business. He dislikes being teased, and even if he can handle being teased himself, he knows the other person might also become a target of teasing.

Obviously, Mai Dong liking Yan Xuming is a decision he made for himself, completely unrelated to the other person. But in the eyes of his friends, Yan Xuming will now be tied to him. This is such an unfair thing, and Mai Dong doesn’t want that. So, he never mentions that he’s currently liking someone.

Mai Dong paused in the act of folding his clothes, “I really don’t have a date. I’m just going to have dinner with a senior on Friday.”

Wu Zimo knew that Mai Dong wasn’t someone who would lie, so he suddenly found the conversation less interesting and didn’t press any further.

After the National Day holiday, they have to make up for two days of classes, so this week feels particularly long as classes start on Saturday.

The restaurant was chosen by Yan Xuming, and Mai Dong had checked the reviews online. The first tag for the restaurant was prominently “Couple Date.” Despite knowing that Yan Xuming probably wanted to find a decent place to reject him, Mai Dong still felt his heart racing at the sight of that tag.

On Saturday night, Mai Dong was still writing in his diary.

October 7, 2023. Sunny

Six more days until I have a meal with him, feeling very nervous.

I don’t know why he asked me to dinner. After thinking about it, the only possibility I can come up with is that he wants to formally reject me. I don’t really understand straight guys, but I guess they’re all like this. They always say things that can be easily misunderstood, like saying “Came to see you,” which couldn’t possibly mean seeing me, but they insist on saying it.

Because straight guys saying these things carries no pressure, I understand. It’s like how a straight guy might kiss another straight guy’s face to express strong gratitude or say “I love you.” They do it casually, causing a lot of distress for gay people.

If I get rejected, will I still continue to like him?

The answer is, of course, I shouldn’t continue to like him. Continuing to like him would be impolite; it’s not a joking matter but a reality. The diary has caused him trouble, but luckily he found it. If someone else had found it, everyone would know that he was being secretly admired by someone, and no one would like that feeling.

Should I try a normal romantic relationship?

At this point, Mai Dong paused in his writing, his mind contemplating how to start a normal romantic relationship.

Du Chuan suddenly exclaimed, “Woah, it seems like Yan Xuming is in a relationship ah!”

Mai Dong sat up straight, an invisible antenna erecting on his head, automatically tuning in to any information about Yan Xuming.

Du Chuan and Yan Xuming were acquaintances, having had meals together. Du Chuan’s girlfriend was also friends with Yan Xuming. The news of Yan Xuming’s relationship was relayed to Du Chuan by his girlfriend, and Du Chuan was broadcasting it in the dormitory.

“I knew it! Why would Yan Xuming come to help with the Hanfu Club? It turns out, it’s for Qiangwei.”

Qiangwei.

Mai Dong found the name somewhat familiar, but he couldn’t recall where he had seen it.

Du Chuan quickly clarified this puzzle for him, “Ai, Mai-zi, you should have seen it that day. I heard Yan Xuming went to your debate competition?”

With the reminder, Mai Dong quickly remembered. Liu Qiangwei, the name of the first speaker on the opposing team during the debate competition. Her name tag was right in front of Mai Dong. What was the appearance of the girl sitting behind that name tag? Neat short hair, delicate makeup, articulate speech, and a strong presence.

On the day of Hanfu Club’s recruitment, Liu Qiangwei was also present. With short hair and dressed in male attire. She exuded a heroic and striking aura, captivating both men and women alike. Her popularity was comparable to Yan Xuming.

Mai Dong felt a sudden clarity; everything that seemed perplexing now had an explanation. So that’s how it was, that’s it. It turned out that Yan Xuming went to see Liu Qiangwei.

Mai Dong wasn’t in the mood to listen to what his roommates were saying at that moment.

At this very moment, Mai Dong genuinely felt that Yan Xuming was a scoundrel. Clearly, he went to see Liu Qiangwei. Why did he have to claim he was there to see him?

He was just having a crush, not a foolish person without dignity!

Mai Dong was very angry. In frustration, he forcefully marked a heavy ink dot in his diary and continued to complete today’s entry.

Should I try a normal romantic relationship?

Yan Xuming, you bastard!

After writing these words, Mai Dong slammed the diary shut, conveniently tucked it into a corner out of sight, and then lay on his bed, feeling depressed and distressed.

Dr. God Mai felt quite aggrieved in his heart.

This couldn’t be a coincidence. Yan Xuming is the vice president of the student union, and judging from what Du Chuan said, he doesn’t have a close relationship with Du Chuan’s girlfriend. So, going to the Hanfu Club’s recruitment was probably for someone specific.

Regarding the debate, Mai Dong never believed Yan Xuming’s statement about coming to watch him. On the last day of the National Day holiday, if not for someone specific, who would waste their time going to an insignificant little debate?

It turns out it was for Liu Qiangwei.

Mai Dong is quite a principled person. He won’t vent his anger on the innocent Liu Qiangwei, but he genuinely feels that Yan Xuming is a scoundrel.

What’s this? He clearly knows that Mai Dong has a crush on him, and he’s dating Liu Qiangwei, yet he still says such things.

Even though he was internally ranting at Yan Xuming, labeling him as a scoundrel and a scumbag, deep down, Mai Dong was constantly contradicting himself. He couldn’t believe that Yan Xuming was truly such a person.

What if it’s a misunderstanding?

Mai Dong has always known that Yan Xuming is a considerate and warm-hearted person. He indeed might have gone to help with the Hanfu Club’s recruitment simply because a friend asked for help, not necessarily for Liu Qiangwei. He might have genuinely come to watch Mai Dong due to curiosity about the secret admirer, not necessarily for Liu Qiangwei.

In this internal struggle between seeing Yan Xuming as a bad person and a good person, Mai Dong’s mind became a tangled mess. Eventually, with a sigh, he covered his head and drifted into sleep.

In the dream, Yan Xuming and Liang Qiangwei were holding hands in front of him. Yan Xuming smiled and warmly called out to Mai Dong, using the nickname “Mai-zi,” just like his roommates. He said, “Mai-zi, let me introduce you. This is my girlfriend, Qiangwei.”

Mai Dong lowered his head, reluctant to witness their affectionate display. In his heart, he muttered, “Mai-zi, Qiangwei, are you running a botanical garden? With Mai-zi and Qiangwei,²Maizi means wheat while Qiangwei means rose. the two cannot exist together!”

Despite that, Mai Dong managed to adjust his emotions and smiled, offering his blessings, “I heard from my roommates. I’m glad you two are together.” His face smiled brightly, but deep down, there was a lingering bitterness, like aged vinegar spilled, creating a strong fragrance for ten miles.

Waking up in the morning, Mai Dong looked in the mirror, his face full of resentment. He quickly rubbed his face to adjust to a normal expression.

Feeling a bit emotionally charged from last night, Mai Dong wanted to discreetly find out if Yan Xuming was truly together with Liu Qiangwei.

While brushing his teeth, Mai Dong casually sidled up to Du Chuan and nonchalantly said, “Hey, last night it seemed like I heard you say Yan Xuming and Liu Qiangwei are together.”

Du Chuan had a mouthful of toothpaste, speaking unclearly, “Hmm ah, my girlfriend saw it on her friend’s Moments, but who knows if it’s true or not.”

Mai Dong further inquired, “Why do you say that ah?”

Du Chuan replied, “Think about your debate competition. It’s not a major event organized by the school, just a casual thing. No one really goes to watch. Yan Xuming is a busy person. He must be there to see someone. By process of elimination, your team’s third speaker is not single, and in Liu Qiangwei’s team, the other girl is romantically involved with their class monitor. That leaves only Liu Qiangwei.”

Mai Dong felt unconvinced. Why should it be only Liang Qiangwei?

Is Yan Xuming really going to a debate just for a girl? These people have such shallow thinking. Maybe he just enjoys debating, or maybe… maybe Yan Xuming went to watch Mai Dong! Mai Dong!

But he only thought about it and, of course, wouldn’t say it out loud.

Brushing his teeth with a dejected air, deep down, he actually agreed with Du Chuan’s words.

Isn’t it just Liu Qiangwei left?

Mai Dong held back for a while but couldn’t resist in the end.

He was acting unusually. In the past, he would have definitely held back and never uttered such inexplicable words.

Biting onto his toothbrush, he muttered under his breath, “He said he went to see me.”

Du Chuan didn’t catch that, “Huh?” He asked.

Mai Dong lost his courage again, blinked innocently, and said, “Huh?”

Du Chuan spat out the mouthwash, “What did you just say?”

Mai Dong shook his head, “I didn’t say anything. You must have misheard.”

The college debate competition arrived swiftly, just in time for the last day of the National Day holiday.

Though three days of preparation seemed absurd, as the classmates mentioned, they had prepared all the content for Mai Dong. Mai Dong’s only task was to memorize it. He tirelessly memorized in the dormitory, practicing in front of the mirror, earning applause from his three roommates.

The pressure for the first debate was minimal this time. Given Mai Dong’s last-minute involvement, everyone took care of him. He didn’t need to find loopholes in the opponent’s arguments or employ additional tactics.

Before going on stage, Chen Sinian only said a few words to him, “Mai-zi, don’t panic even if there are points you can’t recall. When you pause, just use that cold expression to glance at a few people on the other side. Be as fierce as possible; have a commanding presence. Since they know we substituted someone in the first debate. If you lack assertiveness, they might think you’re an easy target.”

Chen Sinian appeared very confident in himself, and Mai Dong nodded in agreement.

As the name suggests, the college debate competition is a debate between two colleges.

The location and time are public, and anyone who wants to see it can do so.

In university, such activities are common, and debates are frequently held. The topics are usually light and relatable to daily life. For instance, this time, the debate topic was a somewhat clichéd one: “Should couples go AA¹It means splitting the bill evenly. on dates?”

Chen Sinian was afraid that Mai Dong might be nervous, so he comforted him in advance, “Not many people usually attend this kind of debate. You don’t have to be nervous.”

Mai Dong really wanted to say that he wouldn’t be nervous even if many people came to watch.

Unexpectedly, quite a few people did show up today.

Mai Dong remained calm, but it was Chen Sinian who became somewhat nervous. Just before going on stage, he grabbed Mai Dong’s clothes, muttering, “Damn, we could count the people who attended our previous public debates with both hands. What’s happening today?”

Mai Dong comforted him in turn, “Just treat them like radishes and cabbages, don’t be nervous.”

Chen Sinian insisted with a tough expression, “I’m not nervous. Am I nervous? I’m not nervous!”

When the time came to go on stage, the debaters from both sides bowed in acknowledgment.

Mai Dong’s gaze didn’t even shift towards the audience. He truly wasn’t nervous, indifferent to how many people were watching—whether it was one person or a thousand, it made no difference to him. He lowered his head, mentally rehearsing the script once more, emanating a cool, calm disdain.

The host announced the debate topic, and Mai Dong was the first speaker.

As he stood up, the content he had to deliver was already deeply ingrained, and there was no sign of forgetting or stumbling over words that Chen Sinian had worried about. Perhaps, as Mai Dong spoke, he genuinely displayed a disdain for the audience. The expressions of the opposing debaters showed surprise, accompanied by whispers. Clearly, they were somewhat intimidated by Mai Dong’s aura.

Chen Sinian was so delighted that he nearly slapped his thigh. He had always said Mai Dong was a debating genius! Bringing him in as a last-minute replacement was indeed a very wise decision.

Mid-sentence, almost subconsciously, Mai Dong’s gaze swept across the audience. A sentence that was about to be spoken instantly disappeared, and he stood there with his mouth open, abruptly frozen.

With a thunderous “boom” in his head, he remained stationary in his spot.

In the audience, Yan Xuming leaned against the back of his seat, smiling as his gaze collided with Mai Dong’s.

Chen Sinian waited for five or six seconds. The first debater’s speaking time was mercilessly slipping away, so he discreetly tugged at the hem of Mai Dong’s clothing, using a hushed tone to remind him, “Mai-zi, what kind of relationship is a couple, after all?”

Mai Dong opened his mouth. He really wanted to tear his gaze away from Yan Xuming in the audience, desperately trying to redirect his thoughts from “Why is Yan Xuming here?” back to the debate. However, his attempts failed repeatedly. His heartbeat slowed, a fatal ailment taking hold.

Mai Dong was someone who never got nervous, except for matters related to Yan Xuming.

He won’t get nervous during speeches, debates, or performances unless Yan Xuming is watching from the audience.

What was it again?

What kind of relationship is a couple, after all?

What kind of relationship? Certainly not the kind he had with Yan Xuming. Yan Xuming was indifferent even to his secret admiration, reluctant to spare him a rejection.

“Mai-zi!” Chen Sinian steeled himself and pinched Mai Dong’s hand.

Mai Dong winced, his head instantly clearing. Trembling, he took a quick breath, hurriedly averting his gaze, and continued his speech. Fortunately, the first half of his speech was brilliant, and the minor incident in the middle didn’t lead to severe consequences.

They already held an advantageous position, and in the end, they smoothly won the debate.

Chen Sinian, overcome with excitement, let out a burst of expletives. He “swooshed” up from his chair, tightly embracing Mai Dong. If it weren’t for the crowded surroundings, he would have genuinely wanted to give Mai Dong a kiss.

A week ago, their first debater suddenly developed acute appendicitis, landing in the hospital awaiting surgery. The entire debate team was at a loss. Since it was more of a university interest group than a competitive team, they had no substitute members.

At that time, Chen Sinian thought of Mai Dong, but he was mercilessly rejected when he first invited him. Chen Sinian had suppressed that thought. Unexpectedly, in the end, Mai Dong came to the rescue.

“Mai-zi, you okay later? You must join us for a meal. We’re treating you. You’re the hero of this round,” Chen Sinian said, his face distorted with laughter as he dr4p3d his arm over Mai Dong’s shoulder.

Yan Xuming was no longer in the audience.

Mai Dong nodded but corrected him, “I didn’t do much. The materials were all prepared by you guys. I just memorized them. You all worked even harder.”

Chen Sinian patted his shoulder. “Enough, winning is what matters. Don’t think too much about it.”

After saying that, he released Mai Dong and turned to discuss with everyone where to have a meal.

Mai Dong still stood in the position of the first debater, reluctantly gazing at the seat Yan Xuming had occupied. It’s worth noting that people skilled in secret admiration are also adept at fantasizing. He couldn’t control his imagination—was Yan Xuming here to watch him?

God knows how audacious this thought was. What qualifications did he have? Yan Xuming must have lost his mind to come and watch him debate on the last day of the National Day holiday.

Mai Dong clutched his phone, perhaps because the repression of these days had taken a toll on him.

Now, he couldn’t resist the urge to send a message to Yan Xuming, asking why he had come to watch the debate.

Unable to control his hands, he daringly sent such a message. But Mai Dong swore that the reason he dared to send it was because he believed Yan Xuming had probably already deleted him.

He didn’t see the red exclamation mark.

In fact, Yan Xuming replied very quickly.

“Senior, I saw you at the debate today. Do you have friends here?”

“No, came to see you.”

Mai Dong’s head was like a boiling kettle, currently emitting steam with a “puff, puff, puff” sound.

He abruptly locked his phone screen, took a deep breath to calm his racing heart a bit, closed his eyes, and silently repeated “Evil spirits and monsters, quickly leave” many times in his mind. Apparently, he thought he must be possessed by a ghost to receive such an inexplicable message.

Then, he opened his phone again, and the message lying on the screen still looked the same.

“No, came to see you.”

Even in the time Mai Dong spent staring at this message, a voice call from Yan Xuming popped up. Mai Dong was startled, his hand shook, and he accidentally pressed the decline button.

…

“Not convenient to answer?”

“T T No, it’s fine. I just shook my hand a bit.”

So Yan Xuming dialed again.

Mai Dong took a few deep breaths and devoutly brought the phone to his ear.

Yan Xuming’s voice came through the earpiece, slightly distorted but still pleasant, “How about having dinner together later?”

This was a question Mai Dong hadn’t anticipated at all.

Or rather, everything had been beyond his expectations from the moment he didn’t see the red exclamation mark after sending that message. His brain malfunctioned, and he had no idea how to respond. Subconsciously, he activated the auto-reply mode, “Ah, the debate team is having a meal later.”

“En, forget it then.”

How could he just forget it ah?!

Mai Dong went online quite slowly, realizing what he had just said. He quickly corrected himself, “Ah no, we don’t have a meal. There’s no dinner; I made a mistake.”

Then, a very faint laughter came from the other end of the phone. This laughter was blurred by the electrical interference, turning into a chaotic heartbeat that annoyingly disturbed Mai Dong’s ears with a “thump, thump, thump.”

Yan Xuming said with a smile in his voice, “I was abrupt. Just won the debate, and having a meal with teammates is more important. Maybe next time.”

Everyone knows that “maybe next time” is a polite Chinese way of politely declining. Mai Dong didn’t want to lose the chance to have a meal with Yan Xuming, even though he had no idea why he got this chance. He impolitely pressed for an answer.

“Then, when is next time?”

“Next Friday night? Are you free?”

“Yes.” Mai Dong didn’t even have time to think about when next Friday was, or if he was available. He just agreed at the fastest speed, then added, “Let me treat you, okay?”

“Very rich?” Yan Xuming seemed to be joking.

“A… little bit.” Mai Dong honestly replied in a rather unromantic manner.

Yan Xuming laughed again.

After hanging up, Mai Dong still couldn’t process what just happened.

All he knew was that his right ear was now burning because the phone had been against it. He reached up and pinched his earlobe, surprised even by the warmth of his own touch. Belatedly, he opened the chat with Yan Xuming, and to his astonishment, there was indeed a solid two minutes of call history.

He thought it must be a dream.

Even if it was a dream, it didn’t matter. Mai Dong had always been a very polite secret admirer. He never disturbed or fantasized about Yan Xuming. Even in his dreams, he restrained himself. He had never held Yan Xuming’s hand or kissed him in his dreams. The most exaggerated dream was that he and Yan Xuming were friends for many years, occasionally sending each other messages to grab a meal.

“Mai-zi, ready to go ah? Let’s have some skewers,” Chen Sinian called out to Mai Dong.

Mai Dong clenched his phone, sneakily took a screenshot of their call history, and then locked his phone. “Ai, coming.”

Mai Dong speculated that Yan Xuming would probably find an opportunity to reject him.

But it didn’t matter; Mai Dong still looked forward to it.