Chapter 73 – I am suffering from prenatal depression.
He Changzhou’s heart throbbed painfully.
In his eyes, and in the eyes of most people, their emperor rarely truly became angry. Even when he was angry, he wouldn’t vent on his attendants like many other high-ranking officials. He would find the culprit, solemnly tell them, “I am angry with you. What did you do to make me angry? Explain it clearly.”
He Changzhou, through a series of coincidences, had made him angry several times, inflating him like an inflated pufferfish. Yet, he would still talk to him, come to the palace gate in the middle of the night before he left, give him a farewell hug, suppress his anger upon his return, give him the bed to rest, and even help him bake something to eat.
If Zhao Qi were to tell him angrily right now, he would definitely stick to him like before, coaxing him, saying, “Your Majesty, don’t be angry. I’ll take you to eat delicious food.”
But he didn’t sulk, there was no light in his eyes, he forced a smile and told him, “I am indeed a little angry.”
He suddenly lost his words, unable to offer any words of comfort. He stood up, wanting to lend Zhao Qi his shoulder, but Zhao Qi dodged backwards, feeling extremely weary, “Don’t take advantage of me at this time.”
He denied vehemently, “I didn’t.”
Zhao Qi smiled faintly, “Actually, I know that I don’t act like an emperor. You all aren’t afraid of me. The officials respect me on the surface, but in their hearts, they just see me as an ornament. It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, “I’m not cut out to be an emperor anyway. As long as you maintain peace and stability, I’m fine being a lazy fish who eats and sleeps. But…” Zhao Qi paused, his eyes slightly red, “at least you should show me some basic respect, right? You can’t just hug me whenever you want, kiss me whenever you want, or…” want to sleep with me whenever you want.
He swallowed hard, “Your Majesty, don’t say that. I didn’t kiss you on impulse. I thought about it for a long time before I did.”
Normally, Zhao Qi would probably sarcastically say “Thank you,” but now, looking at He Changzhou who seemed at a loss for words, he didn’t bother saying anything.
He considered himself a broad-minded and optimistic person. He could usually find something to complain about and vent his frustrations, which would often improve his mood. However, now he didn’t even have the energy to complain. Could this be what they call prenatal depression?
Haha, isn’t he still complaining now?
Zhao Qi chuckled lightly, but as he laughed, his eyes inexplicably filled with tears. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, “I’m tired. I want to sleep.”
He Changzhou immediately said, “I’ll accompany Your Majesty to sleep.”
Zhao Qi looked at him.
”…I mean, I’ll stay by Your Majesty’s side and do nothing else.”
”But right now, I just want to be alone,” Zhao Qi said lightly, “having someone around makes me uncomfortable.”
He Changzhou hesitated for a moment, “Alright. I’ll wait outside the door until Your Majesty wakes up.”
”Suit yourself,” Zhao Qi said, then turned and got into bed, pulled the blanket over his head, and closed his eyes.
He Changzhou watched him for a long time, then walked away quietly, closing the door behind him.
Finally, Zhao Qi was alone. He loosened the grip on the blanket.
”Mmm…” Feeling a kick under his belly, he realized he wasn’t alone; the dragon egg had been with him all along.
”Little one,” Zhao Qi muttered to himself as he rubbed his stomach, “what do you think your dad really sees me as?”
At first, he was self-aware, knowing that Xiao Shiqing treated him as a puppet. Even if he used him, he didn’t mind and didn’t care. Perhaps because Xiao Shiqing had been unusually good to him lately, he had deluded himself into thinking they could be on equal footing and have an equal relationship. Now it seemed he was just daydreaming.
Xiao Shiqing was Xiao Shiqing, and he would never change.
When Jiang Dehai went to see Xiao Shiqing, Xiao Shiqing was discussing tax reforms with officials such as Pang Dai, the governor of Jiangxia. He had long intended to implement the policy of equal fields and was planning to start with Jiangxia. This matter was of great importance; since Yu Chenshui had returned, he had been busy with it at the Jiangxia office, squeezing time to inquire about the emperor’s daily life.
Jiang Dehai arrived at the Jiangxia office but couldn’t see him. Instead, he was stopped by Fu Zi, “The Prime Minister is discussing politics with Jiangxia officials. What is it, Jiang Gonggong?”
Jiang Dehai said, “This old slave is here to find the Prime Minister, naturally for His Majesty’s affairs. Please inform the Prime Minister.”
Fu Zi didn’t hesitate further, “Please wait, Gonggong.”
Fu Zi quickly returned before Jiang Dehai could react, “Gonggong, the Prime Minister invites you in.”
”Oh, thank you, sir.”
Jiang Dehai walked into the hall. Xiao Shiqing sat at the head of the case, with other Jiangxia officials standing on both sides, resembling a small court. Everyone’s eyes were focused on Jiang Dehai, using a phrase the Emperor had used, he looked… quite awkward.
Xiao Shiqing asked, “What does His Majesty need?”
”Returning to the Prime Minister, His Majesty…” Jiang Dehai didn’t know how to start. Was he supposed to tell the truth in front of so many officials, saying that His Majesty was in a bad mood and that as the other father of the Dragon Egg, the Prime Minister should hurry back and soothe him?
Seeing Jiang Dehai’s difficulty, Xiao Shiqing raised his hand to let the others withdraw. When only they were in the hall, he asked, “Is he uncomfortable?”
”Cheng Taiyi just took His Majesty’s pulse. His Majesty and the little princess are both very good, but…”
Xiao Shiqing encountered a rare dilemma, “Who dared to provoke the Emperor?”
Jiang Dehai hesitated, “Prime Minister, this old servant has something to say, but I’m not sure if I should.”
Xiao Shiqing glanced at him, “Speak.”
“When Prime Minister goes to appease the Emperor later, could you, um… lower yourself a bit? After all, the Emperor is the Emperor,” Jiang Dehai carefully chose his words.
Xiao Shiqing raised an eyebrow, “Are you saying that I appear aloof in his presence?”
Jiang Dehai cautiously replied, “This servant dare not speculate. It’s just that the Emperor has a good temper and a soft nature, often lacking in imperial demeanor. Whereas you, Prime Minister, are accustomed to being in control, and the Emperor, in general, is somewhat afraid of you.”
Xiao Shiqing narrowed his eyes.
Jiang Dehai couldn’t help but sigh. Seeing Prime Minister like this, it seemed he wasn’t one to coax others. He doubted if Xiao Prime Minister had ever coaxed anyone in his life, and no one dared to ask him to.
Suddenly, Xiao Shiqing said, “Bingfen.”
“What?”
“He loves the bingfen from Jiangxia.”
Jiang Dehai remarked, “Is there anything the Emperor doesn’t like to eat? He seems to enjoy everything.”
Xiao Shiqing called for Fu Zi, “Go buy two servings of bingfen from that vendor we went to last time.”
When Xiao Shiqing returned to the palace, it was already completely dark. He asked the young attendant at the door, “Did the Emperor eat well today?”
The attendant replied, “Yes, he finished everything.”
Xiao Shiqing felt slightly relieved; at least the Emperor wasn’t in a state where he couldn’t eat.
He pushed open the door and entered, finding only a single lamp lit inside. Zhao Qi was curled up in bed, facing away from him, motionless as if asleep.
He sat down beside the bed, smoothing out Zhao Qi’s scattered hair, thinking about what Jiang Dehai had said in the carriage.
The little Emperor fears him.
This had always been what he hoped for in the past. The Emperor fearing him, respecting him, obeying his every word; it would save him a lot of effort and calculation. But at some point, he started to dread the idea that the Emperor might see fear in his eyes.
Xiao Shiqing’s hand reached out to Zhao Qi’s belly, intending to greet the little princess, but Zhao Qi suddenly stiffened. “Are you awake?”
Zhao Qi knew he couldn’t keep pretending, opening his eyes and sitting up. “No, I just woke up.”
In the dim light, Zhao Qi’s face was pale, with slightly moistened eyes.
“Are you crying?” Xiao Shiqing asked.
“No, just tired,” Zhao Qi murmured, eyes downcast. “I want to sleep.”
Xiao Shiqing remained silent for a moment. “I’ll stay with you.”
Zhao Qi slowly raised his head, looking at Xiao Shiqing with a strange smile. “Does the Prime Minister take me for someone he can pamper, to sleep when he wants, and leave when he wishes?”
Xiao Shiqing’s eyes deepened, silently listening to him.
“You’d better understand, no matter what, I am the sovereign, and you are the subject.”
Xiao Shiqing said softly, “I understand very well.”
“I don’t believe you,” Zhao Qi said with red eyes. “If you really understood, why would you treat me like this? What exactly do you see me as?”
“It’s because of me,” Xiao Shiqing said, staring at Zhao Qi. “Is that right?”
Zhao Qi turned away, pointing to the door. “I don’t want to see you. Leave.”
“If you ask what I see you as,” Xiao Shiqing said softly, “I’ve never seen you as an Emperor.”
“Heh, I knew I wasn’t wrong.”
“You’re the most dazzling treasure in the world,” Xiao Shiqing’s gaze and voice softened, unlike his usual self even in tone and choice of words. “I like you very much, and I want you very much, and I’m going to get it.”
Zhao Qi was stunned for a moment and said with a heartless tone, “It’s a treasure, not a baby. So you think I’m just a plaything.”
Xiao Shiqing was quite helpless, “…I’m not.”
“You can pull it down.”
Xiao Shiqing smiled, “All the things I said you believe, but this one sentence, you don’t believe.”
T/N: There is plenty more where that came from, so stay tuned! And stay healthy! Straighten your posture, so some stretches and drink some water before continuing hehe~
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Also, check out the other series we have on HoH!
If you like cats, check out Revenge of the Garfield
If you like dragons, check out I’m Pregnant with the Hope of the Entire Planet and The Dragon and the ‘Princess’
How about some mystery or showbiz? Check out Morbid Addiction & Perfection
What about the perfect, most non-toxic male lead ever? Laws of Love
How about MC nursing ML back to health? Forced into the Deep