It was getting late, and Chen Huan was still waiting for his client in the consulting room. He sipped his coffee and recalled what the man had been like when he first appeared.
The brown-haired young man sat on the single sofa opposite, his head lowered, his bangs covering his red eyes, and he whispered in a broken voice, “Every time I close my eyes, that moment when Dad left appears before me. He held my hand, and then it just went limp, falling down like that. His eyes were open, looking at me, as if there were so many things he still wanted to say, as if he wanted one last look at Mom and me, as if he couldn’t bear to leave…”
“Dr. Chen, I argued with him that day. I found him annoying, always meddling in my life… Now he can’t do that anymore… I’m such an idiot… He’s gone, and I don’t know what to do…”
“I failed to take good care of my mother. She kept herself locked in her room, wouldn’t let anyone in. By the time I kicked the door open and got in, I found she had taken sleeping pills… We saved her, but her mind was affected. She’s forgotten about Dad’s passing. She keeps telling me that he’s just away on a business trip and will be back in a few days…”
“What should I do? What can I do to get everything back? They all say to be strong and calm. I don’t know how to be strong or calm. I have no place to say these things… I’m going crazy…” He covered his eyes with his hands, but tears kept falling down.
At that time, Chen Huan did not know the identity of the sad, guilty, helpless and fragile young man in front of him. He sympathised with the big boy who was crushed by the changes. As a psychiatrist, he continued to gently comfort and enlighten him, helping him rebuild his self-confidence and regain his confidence in life.
The day after that man’s visit, two men came to his studio and placed a contract in front of him. Someone was willing to inject money to expand the size of his clinic, but he had put forward a condition that required him to tell the situation of the patient he received yesterday. Chen Huan refused. He felt that protecting the privacy of his customers was more important. Unexpectedly, the other party signed a contract with him.
Only then did he know that the person who signed the contract with him was from the famous consortium, and the patient he had treated before was actually the consortium’s eldest young master, Eldest Young Master Chu Yunhan. Since then, he had become the chief psychotherapist of the Golden Eagle Group, providing psychological diagnosis and treatment to members of the Black Eagle Association. He had signed confidentiality documents. No matter what he learned from these people, he would not keep any information and never tell anyone about it. In addition, he also promised one thing…
There was a knock on the door, and the front desk led the guest into the consulting room with an appointment.
“Please sit down.” Chen Huan raised his hand, “Mr. Zhou Han, long time no see.”
Zhou Han was Chu Yunhan’s pseudonym. He took his mother’s surname and his own first name. At that time, he felt that he was about to collapse and needed to find a place to talk. Because of his background, he couldn’t reveal his family’s secrets to others, so he chose a small private psychological clinic and used a pseudonym.
Acknowledging Chu Yunhan’s false identity, treating him as an ordinary patient, and allowing him to express his feelings freely to him was another thing Chen Huan promised. Chen Huan didn’t know why the eldest young master of the Chu family would condescend to come to his small clinic. But he could understand why the other party signed a contract with him. Chu Yunhan gradually trusted him during many medical visits, but Golden Eagle could not let himself, a small doctor, know the family’s secrets. In order to protect their eldest young master and also in order to know the information of their own within the control, they signed a contract with him. As for this additional condition, it was to allow the Eldest Young Master Chu to have a place to relieve his emotions anonymously. This request did not violate his medical principles, so he agreed. He did his best to help Chu Yunhan go through that difficult and painful time and found an exit for him in the collapsing world.
—In this world, not everyone could face life and death with strength. If you couldn’t bear it, it was okay to try to escape first. There was no shame in being vulnerable. You must first admit your vulnerability, accept your true self, and then learn to be strong little by little.
Chen Huan suggested that Chu Yunhan temporarily leave the mansion where he lived with his parents, relax, do some aerobic exercise, and find something interesting to divert his attention. He originally wanted to help him regain his confidence through slow counselling. However, Chu Yunhan suddenly stopped coming and only transferred three times the consultation fee to him.
Later, he heard that Eldest Young Master Chu lingered in nightclubs and soaked himself in alcohol and women. Chen Huan felt a little regretful in his heart because he knew very well that there was a wound in Chu Yunhan’s heart. No matter how unruly he appeared, a sensitive and sad young man was always hidden in that wound.
He originally thought that there would be no more interaction between the two, but unexpectedly, the other party appeared again.
After a long time apart, Chu Yunhan had matured somewhat. The grey plaid suit paired with the slender figure made him look very tall and straight, but he seemed to have no energy, and like most people who came here, he was a little depressed.
Chen Huan placed a cup of jasmine tea on the small side table next to him and smiled, “You came to find me because you are not in a good mood lately?”
Chu Yunhan frowned slightly, with an extremely embarrassed look on his face. He hesitated before speaking, “Dr. Chen, are there any patients who come to you who… well, just… have mental problems with sex?”
Chen Huan was slightly startled and replied, “Yes.”
“Were they cured later?” He asked very directly.
“Some obstacles have been eliminated through psychological counselling, and some have had little effect.” The doctor looked at him and asked, “Did you encounter any difficulties in this area when you came to see me today?”
Chu Yunhan pursed his lips. He turned away, stared at the cup of scented tea, and said softly, “Yes.”
“Can you tell me the specific situation?”
“I…” He was extremely embarrassed, and his face turned red. “When I do it with a woman, I always feel it’s not intense enough, and…it’s hard to reach climax.”
Chen Huan noticed his choice of words and asked, “So, have you ever tried having sex with a man?”
He said frankly, “I tried.”
“How’s the situation?”
“It’s not good either.”
“What does ‘not so good’ mean?” Men and women had different ways of making love and receiving different stimulations, so he asked this question.
Chu Yunhan’s face turned redder, “Being with a man… Can make me more aroused, but every time it comes to climax, I will also have a psychological barrier, and I will hold back uncontrollably.”
The doctor thought for a moment and said, “Why do you think this is a ‘psychological barrier’ rather than coming from the body? In other words, how did your repressive behaviour come about? Did it occur naturally, or was it a sexual incident? Did someone impose this kind of obstacle on you?”
The man pursed his lips tightly and said nothing.
“If you don’t want to say…”
“I… was forced to play some BDSM games before.” After saying this, he seemed to be deflated, leaning on the sofa and supporting his head with one hand on his forehead.
Chen Huan had studied the psychology of sadomasochism, and when he saw what he said, he had a clear understanding of the situation. He slowly said, “If I guess correctly, the person who forced you should be a male, right?”
Chu Yunhan nodded awkwardly.
“Compared with ordinary sex, BDSM is more intense and dangerous. A certain degree of restraint, humiliation and pain will stimulate the secretion of endorphins in the brain, making people reach an intense pleasure almost soaring. And this extreme pleasure is addictive, just like if you drink water after drinking a cup of hot cocoa—it will feel bland.”
“How can I break this…addiction?”
“I think talking about ‘quitting’ is a bit serious.” Chen Huan smiled, “If you’d rather have hot cocoa than water, then it’s okay to indulge a little. BDSM is merely a form of eroticism if both partners cooperate. For example, in ordinary sex, some men will ask women to call them ‘Daddy’. This title can show a sense of immorality, which will make him feel more excited. Using the identities of master and slave strengthens the concepts of dominance and submission, thereby amplifying stimulation.” He paused, “Similarly, whipping and binding are meant to be stimulating. Excessive pain or discomfort will dampen desire, so a dom needs to control the intensity to keep the sub’s discomfort just within the range that enhances arousal. These are tools to heighten pleasure, which is the same as drinking wine before sex. If you feel that you can get the pleasure you want in this way, you can boldly try to make sex more interesting and exciting within a safe range. Control it a little to avoid overstimulation and depleting the body, such as having hot cocoa once a week and drinking water at other times.”
Chu Yunhan was stunned for a while, with a puzzled look on his face, “But… I can’t ejaculate…”
“This is something I’m more concerned about.” The doctor thought for a while and said, “Can I ask you some specific details about your previous participation in BDSM?”
He hesitated and nodded.
“You’re the dominant one, right?”
“Um.”
“The other party…I mean the person you are playing this kind of game with. Is it many people or one person only?”
“One person.”
“He forced you to do it, and you’re not willing to cooperate?”
“…En.”
Chen Huan was surprised. He knew Chu Yunhan’s identity. It felt incredible to him that such a favoured man who was so protected could be forced to become a sub in BDSM. Who could it be?
However, this was a private matter and not something he should get involved in. He still maintained a calm expression and continued to ask, “What method did he use to control your ejaculation when he was having sex with you? Was it a tool or some other thing?”
Chu Yunhan’s face was as red as an apple. He lowered his gaze on the tea cup in his hand and said, “Sometimes it’s some tools, and sometimes he used his hand to block it.”
“Under what circumstances would he allow you to cum?”
“After he is…satisfied.”
“Is there any special way? I mean, how did he give you instructions to ejaculate?”
“…He would say, ‘you can cum’.”
“Does this happen every time?”
“Almost.”
“If he doesn’t give this instruction, it means you can’t cum. Or there will be punishment, right?”
He made a low ‘En’ sound.
“That’s it.” Dr. Chen, who found the cause of the disease, smiled, “Next time you can try to find a dom for an erotic BDSM sex session. And tell him ahead of time to give you the instructions when you need to climax. I’m sure your block can be lifted.”
Chu Yunhan sat on the sofa dumbfounded. It took him a while to recover from these words and said, “Do I…do I have to do this in the future…”
“As your body begins to adapt to other people, the impact that person has on you will gradually lessen.”
“But I’m not gay…” he said anxiously.
“If you can get pleasure through penetration, of course you can also choose a female dom. It doesn’t really matter whether you are gay or not. Male or female, it’s just that the objects of desire are different. Everyone has their own preferences,” Chen Huan said with a smile. “But the pleasure from squeezing the prostate is usually stronger than the pleasure from penile friction.” He rummaged in the drawer for a while, then took out a card and handed it to Chu Yunhan, “This is from a previous customer of mine. He is from the BDSM circle and knew that I was interested in studying the psychology of sadomasochism, so he gave me this. It seems to be an invitation card to their club. If you are interested, you can check it out. There should be some good dom in the circle.”
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