Month: October 2022 (Page 3 of 3)

Chapter 11

       When I woke up, Ji Qin was sitting next to my bed taking a nap.

 

       I felt bad all over, but when I saw his face, which looked as if he hadn’t slept well for days in a row, I resisted the urge to wake him up.

 

       Ji Qin… was actually keeping me company.

 

       I couldn’t say whether I was touched or moved, or whether I just made a peace with myself, but either way, I knew that I still deeply love this person.

 

       Alas, anyway… a miss was still a miss.

 

       Ji Qin was awakened by my movement. When he opened his eyes, he happened to meet my line of sight. He was in a trance for a moment before he said hoarsely, “……you’re awake, I’ll go call the doctor.”

 

       “Ji Qin.” As I saw that he was leaving, I hurriedly stopped him.

 

       I didn’t know why, but maybe deep down I dreaded the thought of him leaving?

 

       “Thank you for staying with me.” He turned his head suspiciously, and I whispered hesitantly.

 

       Ji Qin had no expression on his face, but when he heard my words, he suddenly frowned deeply, strode up to me, and leaned down—

 

       “Listen carefully, I don’t want you to get into any more trouble.”

 

       I froze, not understanding what he meant.

 

       Ji Qin stared into my eyes as if it was the first time he had ever looked at me like that, a gaze so sharp it could pierce my soul.

 

       “Ze’an will come back.” He opened his lips and said one word at a time, “But if his body is destroyed, he won’t be able to come back.”

 

       My mouth dropped open, suddenly not knowing what to say.

 

       Actually, I should be… have gotten used to it.

 

       Ji Qin never believed what I said anyway.

 

       But I was still sad.

 

       The fingers hidden under the covers quietly moved to my stomach, which was still faintly aching, and I whispered, “I know, I haven’t been sleeping well for a while, and I didn’t think ……”

 

       Before the words were out of my mouth, Ji Qin had already left without looking back.

 

       I took my words back, and my heart grew more and more disappointed.

 

       Everything was as I had expected.

 

       There was nothing to look forward to, and nothing to be sad about.

 

       It was almost over.

 

       After the doctor’s examination, he suggested that I should stay in the hospital for observation for a day and leave tomorrow.

 

       I agreed. Ji Qin stood by my side and listened patiently to the doctor’s instructions on how to take care of my body in the future as if he really was my lover.

 

       Of course I already knew that everything he did was not for me.

 

       The next day Ji Qin drove me back, and we were very silent all the way. I secretly looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and the corners of his lips were pursed tightly, and he seemed to be in a bad mood.

 

       I felt like I haven’t seen him smile in a long, long time.

 

       In the past, when I pursued him, he was also so indifferent, but I have seen his smile; when taking care of stray dogs and cats on campus, when helping his classmates… I firmly believed that he was someone who was distant and was actually a very gentle person.

 

       Did I change him?

 

       I really couldn’t figure it out, what I was doing by insisting so much on coming back to change my life……

 

       I didn’t say anything all the way, and I was a little drowsy, but my nerves kept tensing involuntarily. I thought about how Ji Qin had said yesterday that I should be forbidden to take sleeping pills. What should I do with my sleep during this time? It was too painful and torturous to keep my eyes open for a long night. If I order melatonin, the effect on me is not as great as that of sleeping pills. Ordinary sleep aids no longer work for me. I…

 

       What do I do?

 

       After returning home, Ji Qin told me he had to go to work, and went straight out the door.

 

       I still feel uncomfortable physically, but when I look at the calendar, I feel that time flies too fast. If I didn’t race against the clock to do something I like, I was afraid it would be too late.

 

       No matter how disappointed and powerless I was in my life today, it was enough for me to do my own thing and pass on the love and blessings that should be passed on

 

       With that in mind, I locked myself in the fake Ze’an’s former studio again.


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Chapter 10

       I actually thought about running away.

 

       I was anxious day and night and lived in fear of uncertainty all night long. On the surface, I had a good family, a good education and a good, and handsome partner who was the envy of the world.

 

       But I knew that wasn’t mine, they all liked the previous Ze’an.

 

       Later, I actually tried to learn from him and tried to climb to his heights—but the fake Ze’an was really good, and I myself had been a mediocre person who had spent half my life doing nothing and couldn’t achieve what he had done in just two years.

 

       My parents had by then gotten used to the clumsy and wrong-headed me of today, and naturally, they wouldn’t really suspect that I wasn’t me like Ji Qin, but the sigh from time to time about how I was now, became so much more lately.

 

       I felt regretful.

 

       If I hadn’t been so rebellious during my high school and university years, and hadn’t been so annoyed with my parents, and had come home to them more often, would his parents accepted the fake Ze’an so easily when he first arrived?

 

       Not necessarily, or maybe that fake Ze’an would be accepted no matter what. Unlike me.

 

       —I thought about running away.

 

       But even though the world was so big, where could I escape to?

 

       Those were the people who were closest to me.

 

       I started to lose sleep and I couldn’t sleep well.

 

       This was very bizarre because I used to be so big-hearted that I almost always fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. But from one of the recent days, I suddenly couldn’t sleep.

 

       My head was always full of things. From Fu Shan, who sighed because she didn’t get the answer she wanted when she was talking to me about her thoughts, to my parents who complain about how I’m suddenly not good at anything, to my boss who said he hates my guts for making such a small mistake, to the parent who called me and invited me to tutor his kid, to Ji Qin who was looking forward to fake Ze’an’s return every second and every day and night…

 

       My brain was about to explode.

 

       After such insomnia tormented me for a short time, I finally went to the hospital for sleeping pills. That night I finally got a good night’s sleep with the help of medicine, and I began to rejoice in the great power of science, otherwise, I would have had a nervous breakdown.

 

       The next day, I was in good spirits and prepared a second breakfast for Ji Qin as usual. He worked a little later than I did, but he was usually up by the time I brought breakfast back, but today there was no sign of movement.

 

       I hesitated for a moment. Since I split up with him that day, I hadn’t had any other in-depth communication with him, but anyway—I knocked on the door and call him out, “Ji Qin, are you up?”

 

       There was no sound inside, I hesitated for a while but still opened the door—it was unlocked, and I saw Ji Qin curled up in the corner of the bed, his face pale, his lips pursed as if he was trying to endure something.

 

       I was startled and rushed forward, “Are you okay? Are you all right, Ji Qin?”

 

       Ji Qin seemed to be in severe pain and ignored me. I was at a loss for words, and after tidying up the messy bedding for him, I noticed that he had been holding his palm tightly over his stomach.

 

       Is this…a stomachache?

 

       I found painkillers and stomach medicine and gave them to him with lukewarm water. The effect of the medicine worked very quickly, and his face improved a lot after a while, so I breathed a sigh of relief and said to him, “Should I take you to the hospital? You just looked very…… serious.”

 

       Ji Qin pursed his lips, didn’t look at me, and only after a while did he said, “No, it’s an old problem.”

 

       It turned out that Ji Qin had a gastropathy problem, but I didn’t know it until now.

 

       I quietly made a note in my heart and thought that I should pay attention to it in the future, when he suddenly said, “Thank you.”

 

       I was stunned, and my mood improved. This was the first time Ji Qin thanked me, and the first time I had felt wanted since I returned.

 

       I held back a smile and stammered, “You’re welcome, um, do you want me to ask for leave for your company?”

 

       Ji Qin raised his head and glanced at me, then quickly withdrew his gaze.

 

       “No, I can call myself.”

 

       “……thanks.”

 

       He said thank you for the second time!

 

       I became happier and felt more motivated for the rest of the day. I smiled and said, “No problem, no problem, we are housemates, it’s what should be done. I left my breakfast outside, I bought congee and buns, you can warm them up later.”

 

       I was in a good mood and I was afraid that he would think I was nagging. After I finished speaking, I was afraid that he would refuse, so I quickly closed the door of his room and ran away.

 

       Assuming Ji Qin was just my housemate, it was not an exaggeration for me to care about him, right?

 

       Ji Qin and I were at peace in the next few days. His gastropathy seemed to have broken out, but my insomnia was still so bad that I needed to increase the dosage of my medication to maintain my sleep.

 

       Until one day, I was sent to the hospital by Ji Qin for gastric lavage1the process of cleaning out the contents of the stomach because of an overdose.


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Chapter 9

       I drew Ji Qin according to a photograph and outlined it very carefully. I know that I had not studied painting before, and the painting was very mediocre, but I was going to try my best to make this painting look like Ji Qin in my mind.

 

       To the best of my ability.

 

       This photo was a photo of Ji Qin that I had on my mobile phone a long time ago, and it was also my favourite one—when I went to see Ji Qin play basketball in college. That day as he finished a game and walked off the court, the sunlight fell on his face and made him glow. I looked at him from a distance, and I thought, he was someone from a divine place in my mind.

 

       When I heard the sound of the door opening, I stood up in a bit of a panic, and immediately put away the drawing board which had only just revealed the outline of the figure.

 

       In the end, because I was not familiar with the placement of the studio, I accidentally bumped and made a slight noise.

 

       “Who’s in there?”

 

       Ji Qin’s voice immediately came from outside the door. I cursed inwardly, looked around and didn’t find any place to hide, and the next second Ji Qin opened the door.

 

       “Why are you…” The anticipated rebuke didn’t come, and Ji Qin’s face, which always looked indifferent showed a confused look. He seemed to hesitate for a while, and said uncertainly, “Ze’an?”

 

       I stammered, my face and my ears red with embarrassment, “Sorry, I just came to see it out of curiosity. I didn’t do anything irresponsible…”

 

       Ji Qin was silent, I glanced up at him cautiously to find him in a trance, and the disappointment was visible to the naked eye.

 

       “It’s all Ze’an’s stuff here,” he said, his eyes swept over the oil painting on the ground with restraint and gentleness, and finally slowly turned to my face.

 

       “I haven’t touched anything in there, and I hope you won’t either.”

 

       His tone was flat, but I found it more upsetting than any rebuke.

 

       “…Sorry.” After a long time, I said softly.

 

       I walked out of the fake Ze’an’s studio in silence. Ji Qin closed the door behind me before heading straight for his room.

 

       “Ji Qin!” I called out to him reluctantly, and he stopped at the sound but did not turn around.

 

       “Are you… still waiting for the fake Ze’an to come back?” I said.

 

       Ji Qin turned around abruptly, and I noticed blue veins on the back of his hand as if he was restraining something.

 

       “Ze’an is Ze’an, don’t call him fake Ze’an.”

 

       I was taken aback.

 

       “I told you before… I am the real Ze’an. That man only borrowed my body for a short time to live in.”

 

       Ji Qin said, “…how is it possible, he was obviously a man of his own.”

 

       I was at a loss. It turned out that Ji Qin thought from the beginning that it was me, not Ze’an, who occupied the magpie’s nest, and he hadn’t believed me at all.

 

       How could …… this be?

 

       “So, you’ve been waiting for me to disappear and for him to come back?”

 

       I asked him with a trembling voice, hiding my trembling fingers behind my back.

 

       Ji Qin was silent, but I guessed probably that this was he tacitly agreed.

 

       All this time, I actually wanted to be nice to Ji Qin.

 

       Even though we seemed to be the most ordinary roommates at the moment, and even if he almost never looked at me, I still left a light on for him every time he comes home from work. I always had the coffee ready in the coffee machine, and I always prepared breakfast for two, and each time I gave it to him for the reason that I couldn’t eat it. He resisted it from the beginning, and then accepted it when he couldn’t bear my annoyance anymore.

 

       I didn’t know if he ate it or not.

 

       It was not just to impress him and please him. After all, I had always liked him so much. When I could really get close to him, I couldn’t help but want to be nice to him.

 

       I just didn’t expect that he had been waiting for me to disappear.

 

       Ugh.

 

       I later actually thought that he had already accepted that I was Ze’an, and that he was born with a cold personality and treated me like a dispensable roommate with the same name, so I just continued to get by.

 

       What a…… surprise.

 

       “Actually, I’m the one who’s Ze’an.” Half-heartedly, I began to explain in vain, “It’s you, you’re wrong the one who’s wrong……that person is a fake.”

 

       Ji Qin coldly dropped a sentence, “Where’s the evidence?”

 

       I was dumbfounded for a moment, and when Ji Qin saw my appearance, he sneered and went straight back to the room.

 

       I thought, I really didn’t seem to have enough strong evidence to prove that I am the real Ze’an.

 

       The fake Ze’an had managed to fit into my life successfully and even better in those two years, and I was unable to keep up with any of his rhythms after coming back from the fault.

 

       Even my closest relatives believed in his existence.

 

       But I’m obviously the one who is Ze’an…


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Chapter 8

       Hello everyone, it’s still me today.

 

       Recently, I’ve been feeling more and more that I can’t really do anything right.

 

       In fact, my parents had always spoiled me. They were busy with work, but since I was young, they never forced me to go to any after-school cram school, nor did they keep an eye on their children’s grades as other parents did. They just wanted me to do something that I liked in my spare time.

 

       But even so, I was still unhappy with their busy schedules and had a long rebellious period where I didn’t want to talk to them on the phone and refused to communicate. I complained that they used to care less and now that they were in menopause, they were nagging every day.

 

       Now that I thought about it, I regretted doing so in the first place.

 

       Fake Ze’an completely won the hearts of my parents to the point that I always felt a little uncomfortable when I saw them now. They obviously preferred the fake Ze’an, and they even wondered why I was so different from before.

 

       While Fu Shan…she no longer needed a friend who could only be foolish all day long. Now she needed a confidant who understood her and could help her share her worries.

 

       Then Ji Qin…

 

       Oh yeah, I screwed up work too.

 

       I was really useless, probably because I slept for two years before I graduated from college. At that time, it was fake Ze’an who helped me get the diploma. He was learning to code while working part-time as an art teacher and accomplishing every task so well—instead, I had to refresh even the basics so much when I got the job that I was scolded by my leaders every day.

 

       I was staring at a lengthy tirade sent to me by my leader the other day when someone called me suddenly, and I picked it up in a daze. I didn’t know the person who called me, but the other person obviously knew me well.

 

       “Teacher Fang, I haven’t been in touch with you recently. How are you?”

 

       I knew instantly that this call was not for me.

 

       I was just about to hang up when the other party said quickly, “My child really likes you so much, and he doesn’t take any other art teacher seriously except you. He said that it must be you. So I want to ask if you still accept private work? A week’s salary is negotiable…”

 

       It was ironic, the leader wished I would leave the next day, but the fake Ze’an was so missed by others, and he’s a must. The gap between the two was really too big…

 

       I laughed dryly and said, “I’m sorry, I’ve been very busy lately…”

 

       “It’s okay, Teacher Fang, as long as you have free time, we can always…”

 

       “I’ve got something to do, I’ll hang up now!” Unable to listen any longer, I hurriedly hung up the phone and fell back into self-loathing.

 

       Jealousy. It was jealousy, and being jealous was undesirable.

 

       Jealousy made people ugly.

 

       …but, I was really jealous.

 

       I went to Fake Ze’an’s studio, where the fake Ze’an usually created works here or taught the students to draw. Ji Qin won’t let me in, but he happened to be away today.

 

       I also wanted to draw a picture, but I didn’t have the basics, I just thought… Is it possible that I actually have a little artistic cell?

 

       Fake Ze’an’s studio was full of paintings. It was full of landscape paintings and still life oil paintings. The colour palette and lighting effects were really beautifully handled and were at a height I couldn’t match.

 

       I wanted to paint a picture, but I didn’t want to do it like him.

 

       Why don’t I paint a portrait of a person…

 

       Should I draw Ji Qin?

 

       I must not be good at it, but when it came to portraits, I could only seem to think of him.

 

       I didn’t want to draw myself, I was so disappointing right now.

 

       My parents, Fu Shan, didn’t love me anymore, and of course, Ji Qin didn’t love me either.

 

       But Ji Qin at least recognized me, albeit in a way that wasn’t friendly but made me feel like the real me.

 

       So, no matter what, he was always special to me.

 

       I sometimes wished I could ask him what he was trying to say to me the day I had my accident. Would it have been what I thought it would be, or was it just an ordinary friend appointment?

 

       If there was time…I’ll just ask.


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Chapter 7

       In Ji Qin’s dream, the Ze’an he loved was always by his side.

 

       In other words, he always believed that Ze’an would come back, so he endured the days of continuing to see me without looking up, enduring the me who had a very different personality from his lover but was using the same body.

 

       Did I cry…?

 

       I slowly stroked my cheek, which was indeed wet.

 

       I hadn’t cried for a long time, and I had always been a happy-go-lucky person since I was a child. Of course, I’ve bawled my eyes a lot about some things in my life that didn’t go my way, but never had the grief come in such a huge and intangible way as it did now.

 

       Ji Qin suddenly took my hand and murmured, “Don’t cry, Ze’an.”

 

       I stared at him with teary eyes, is he talking to me? He wasn’t, was he? No one was, everyone was trying to talk to the fake Ze’an through the shell. No one could see my grief.

 

       Ji Qin looked at me and sighed, “Don’t be so sad, Ze’an… I’m so sad too.”

 

       After he said that, he leaned down and kissed me again.

 

       This time, it was no longer a simple lip contact, his tongue was entangled with mine gently. Perhaps sensing my tears, his movements became softer after a slight pause, as if he was soothing me.

 

       It was clearly a dreamy moment…

 

       So then, I slowly closed my eyes.

 

       When I woke up that day, Ji Qin was still holding me tightly. I was a little overwhelmed, and more over, it seemed like unreal happiness.

 

       I pretended that this was an ordinary morning.

 

       Ji Qin, whom I had always loved, and I fell asleep with our arms around each other like normal lovers. Then I would wake up first and trace the outline of my sleeping lover who was close at hand with my eyes, praying that this moment would last forever.

 

       Until he woke up.

 

       My own beautiful dream also shattered the moment Ji Qin spoke.

 

       “It’s you?” Ji Qin met my infatuated gaze and instantly sobered up. His handsome brows furrowed in what looked like disgust.

 

       I unconsciously stepped back a little and pulled out a smile, “Good morning.”

 

       Ji Qin stopped looking at me and got up in silence to change his clothes and prepare to leave.

 

       Was it time to go back to the time he regarded me as the air before?

 

       I was a little flustered and hurriedly called him, “Wait, Ji Qin…”

 

       He paused for a moment but didn’t stop.

 

       “Why do you like the former Ze’an so much?” I gritted my teeth and continued, “He and I obviously shared the same body, and I’ve actually been interested in you…”

 

       “I was drunk yesterday.” Ji Qin interrupted me.

 

       I was stuck for a moment, momentarily unsure whether to continue the confession.

 

       “When I’m sober, I can recognize the difference between you at a glance. You are two people,” he said. “I wish you would stop talking about him.”

 

       I gave a dull sigh.

 

       He hesitated.

 

       “If …… I gave you any false impressions yesterday, I hope you won’t take them to heart.”

 

       I smiled stiffly, “I…know.”

 

       Ji Qin stopped talking, changed his clothes and left the bedroom. The door was gently closed, and I was left quietly inside, everything was so logical.

 

       I suddenly wanted to have a conversation with the fake Ze’an, whom I had never actually met, but with whom I felt I was already familiar.

 

       The fake Ze’an and Ji Qin had been together for so long, how did he feel when he was forcibly squeezed out of his body by me? He must be… sad too.

 

       And it was not easy for Ji Qin, who saw my face every day but knew deep down that I was not his lover, to still be painfully strong.

 

       It suddenly dawned on me that maybe I was the one who should go.

 

       People really shouldn’t make fools of themselves.


Notes:
Ack! Ze’an!!!! I already read couple of Youlan’s work to know I really don’t like how the story developed…


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Chapter 22

       Ning Junyan drove Chen Yuncheng back.

       Chen Yuncheng sat in the passenger seat and was a little absent-minded all the way.

       It wasn’t until Ning Junyan pulled up in front of Chen Yuncheng’s small kiosk that he said to Chen Yuncheng before he got out of the car, “Take me to see Zhou Yan’s child first, and I will talk to his attending physician.”

       Chen Yuncheng had already unbuckled his seat belt, he nodded and asked, “When is it convenient for you?”

       Ning Junyan replied, “Tomorrow, I don’t have surgery scheduled in the afternoon, give me a call before you come.”

       Chen Yuncheng replied, “Okay.” Then he said, “Thank you.”

       Ning Junyan did not say anything.

       After Chen Yuncheng got off the car, he stood on the side of the road and watched Ning Junyan drive the car away. His whole self still felt a little disoriented, and it took him a long time to find the key to the rolling shutter door.

       As he entered the store, Chen Yuncheng locked the door, but did not rush into the inner room, and sat down on the chair at the counter.

       The words that Ning Junyan had said to him were always on his mind.

       He was twenty-eight years old this year, and he grew up in a complex environment since he was a child. He had come into contact with all kinds of people in society, but he had never had a girlfriend because he had not met the right one. Most of the girls he could meet in this environment were from poor families and had come out to work at a young age to earn money. Some of them had taken the initiative to show him affection, but he just didn’t feel that way and didn’t feel he could take on the responsibility of a family.

       Although his emotional experience was in a blank state, it didn’t mean that he had no social experience to judge the world.

       Ning Junyan said that his words were all in jest, but Chen Yuncheng felt that the two men would not joke like this. Even with his brothers and friends who had a good relationship with him, no one would make such ambiguous jokes like this.

       As he thought of this, Chen Yuncheng suddenly felt a little irritable. He reached out and picked up the cigarette case that was sitting on the counter, and shook out a cigarette. He didn’t usually smoke, and he didn’t light the cigarette. He just held it in his mouth, as if it could relieve his anxiety a little.

       He wanted to borrow money from Ning Junyan, and it was not a small amount. With money involved, many things became more complicated. It was difficult for him to refuse Ning Junyan’s request, and he had no idea what kind of request Ning Junyan would make of him.

       Chen Yuncheng didn’t hate Ning Junyan, not at all, even in the two years they just separated, he still missed Ning Junyan very much, but he never thought he liked men. Today, Ning Junyan held his hand, which made him squirm a little. After tomorrow, how should he continue to face Ning Junyan?

       However, in the next second, Chen Yuncheng began to wonder if he was thinking too much. Perhaps Ning Junyan was really just joking. He wanted to recall every word and expression of Ning Junyan today but found that his memories were not quite clear. Aside from their childhood experience, Chen Yuncheng couldn’t even think of the reason why Ning Junyan liked him. They were like people from two worlds who had crossed paths because of childhood misfortune, and it was a rare occurrence for them to be friends.

       Chen Yuncheng threw the cigarette on the counter. After he sat in the store for a long time, he began to feel the cold of the night eating away at his body, so he got up and carried the small heater from the counter into the room inside.

       He plugged the heater in and reached out to turn the switch, which instantly emitted strong orange light, but after less than two seconds, the heater’s glow suddenly disappeared.

       Chen Yuncheng turned off the heater and turned it on again, but this time the heater was completely off. Annoyed, he unplugged it and left the broken heater in the corner of the room.

       It was only before he went to bed that Chen Yuncheng remembered that Zhou Yan had not called him.

       At this time, it was already past 10.30 pm. Chen Yuncheng sat on the edge of the bed, clutching the quilt and dialling Zhou Yan’s phone. But Zhou Yan didn’t pick up after many rings.

       He was not sure if Zhou Yan was on the night watch in the hospital ward, and turned off the sound of his mobile phone for fear that it would affect other patients and their families in the ward.

       After hesitating for a while, Chen Yuncheng didn’t call Zhou Yan again but sent a WeChat message asking Zhou Yan to call him back when it was convenient.

       In the end, Zhou Yan did not call Chen Yuncheng back until the next morning.

       Chen Yuncheng got up, and when he opened the shutters of the kiosk, he put the phone on his shoulder and called Zhou Yan again. This time, it was not that no one answered, but the call prompted that the other party had turned off.

       He was a little inexplicable. He didn’t know what Zhou Yan meant by turning off his phone, or whether his phone was out of power when he woke up in the morning.

       Chen Yuncheng stood in front of the kiosk, hesitating whether he should go directly to the hospital to find Zhou Yan now. He wanted to quickly tell Zhou Yan about Ning Junyan’s promise to lend money for the child’s medical treatment so that Zhou Yan could draw a clear line with Zhang Wenyong earlier, and the impact on them after the crime could be minimized.

       Afterwards, Chen Yuncheng wanted to call Gu Yaojia first and ask her if Zhou Yan was still in the hospital. Just when he was looking for Gu Yaojia’s phone number in the address book, a police car stopped in front of his store.

       Chen Yuncheng stopped, locked the mobile phone screen and put it on his chest as he watched Long Zhan Yu get out of the car with another male police officer who looked quite familiar.

       Long Zhanyu was wearing a crumpled-down jacket, his hair was not properly groomed, and his whole body looked a bit haggard.

       He was smoking a cigarette. After he got out of the car, he took the cigarette in his hand and said to the other policeman, “I want a big bowl, mixed sauce.”

       The policeman nodded and went directly to the noodle shop next to Chen Yuncheng’s kiosk. It seemed that the two had come to have breakfast nearby.

       Long Zhanyu walked to Chen Yuncheng and asked, “So early?”

       Chen Yuncheng stuffed his phone into his trousers pocket and said, “Officer Long, are you working the night shift?”

       Long Zhanyu said, “I worked overtime last night and was busy all night, so I only had time to come out and have something to eat now.”

       Chen Yuncheng smiled, turned to look at the noodle shop over there, and said, “Do you want to eat noodles? Let me treat you.”

       After he finished speaking, he turned to walk towards the noodle shop, but Long Zhanyu suddenly stopped him, “Hey! What about what I asked you to inquire about?”

       Chen Yuncheng stopped, turned his head and said to Long Zhanyu, “Officer Long, you think too highly of me, this area is so big, unless I go and keep an eye on those two X-people every day, how else would I be able to know who they are hanging out with?”

       Long Zhanyu looked a little serious. He said, “It’s not that you don’t know. You’re just afraid of implicating your friends, so you don’t dare to say anything, right?”

       Chen Yuncheng suddenly had a bad premonition in his heart.

       Long Zhanyu said, “Where is Zhou Yan?”

       Chen Yuncheng asked, “What did he get into?”

       Long Zhanyu sneered, “I’ll give you a chance. It’s not too late for you to ask Zhou Yan to turn himself in.”

       After he finished speaking, Long Zhanyu walked toward the noodle shop next to him. He and his colleagues sat at the table by the roadside.

       Chen Yuncheng looked at them, and the two of them were also looking at Chen Yuncheng. The other policeman said something to Long Zhanyu, but his eyes fell on Chen Yuncheng’s face. Long Zhanyu nodded, stretched out his hand and took out a pair of chopsticks from the chopstick holder, placed it on the table with a clean chopstick, and waited for his large bowl of mixed sauce noodles to be cooked.

       Chen Yuncheng turned around and went back to the store, took out his mobile phone and called Guan Anlin.

       The phone rang for a long time before it was connected. Guan Anlin didn’t seem to awake yet, and his tone was impatient, “What?”

       Chen Yuncheng asked, “Did something happen to Zhang Wenyong?”

       Guan Anlin was silent for a moment, “How do you know?”

       Chen Yuncheng asked, “What happened to Zhang Wenyong?”

       Guan Anlin said, “The police came and took him away last night and asked him to assist in the investigation.” After speaking, he paused for a while and then asked, “How do you know? You betrayed him too?”

       Chen Yuncheng ignored him and just asked, “Where’s Zhou Yan? Do you have any news about Zhou Yan?”

       Guan Anlin said coldly, “No.”

       Chen Yuncheng said, “Okay.” Then hung up the phone.

       Guan Anlin was about to taunt him with a few words, but when the phone was suddenly hung up, he suddenly slammed his phone onto the bed in anger.

________________________________________

Chen Yuncheng: There’s something I’m not really comfortable talking about, I’m still a virgin at the age of 28…

Ning Junyan: It doesn’t matter, I’m 30 years old.


Notes:
Two updates/week from now on thanks to the Ko-fi donators~! Special thanks to TM for donating for all JGQ novels since my Perfection’s translation come out ><


Support the author by buying author other works and/or giving some jades here~
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Join here ^^

Check out bean’s new novel here!
and her original novel about a sly cute dragon here~
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Also leave some ratings if you like this series here~

Chapter 21

       Until Ning Junyan finished his meal and they left the fast-food restaurant, he did not say exactly what kind of price Chen Yuncheng had to pay.

       Chen Yuncheng had always felt a little apologetic in his heart. From the very beginning, he didn’t think he should seek Ning Junyan’s help, and neither he nor Zhou Yan could get the money back in a short time if they borrowed more than a hundred thousand yuan from Ning Junyan. Even if Ning Junyan was willing to lend him and didn’t care about the hundred thousand or so yuan, Chen Yuncheng still felt like he had taken advantage of that previous friendship between the two to hijack the other.

       “I will pay you back the money, but it may take a long time,” Chen Yuncheng said.

       Ning Junyan did not say anything.

       The two of them walked to the intersection and Chen Yuncheng walked somewhat absent-mindedly towards the zebra crossing when Ning Junyan extended his hand to hold Chen Yuncheng’s wrist and said, “Red light.”

       Chen Yuncheng looked up and saw that the traffic light on the sidewalk was indeed still red.

       However, Ning Junyan didn’t let him go immediately.

       Although it was winter, Ning Junyan’s palm was still warm. He kept holding Chen Yuncheng’s wrist until Chen Yuncheng looked at him a little strangely, and then said, “I know you can’t pay back this money.”

       Chen Yuncheng felt a little embarrassed. He deliberately made himself laugh and said, “I promise, I will pay back the money, and when tomorrow comes I will contact some people to sell the current store.” Opening a small kiosk was the stability that Chen Yuncheng pursued, but in fact, it was another kind of refusal to make some progress. His kiosk didn’t make much money, but it was just enough to meet his simple needs. If he really wanted to make money, he could obviously choose to work for someone else, whether as a food deliverer or courier. As long as he was not afraid of hard work, he could always make money.

       Ning Junyan glanced at the opposite side and said, “The light is green.” Then he held Chen Yuncheng’s wrist and pulled him towards the opposite side.

       Chen Yuncheng was an arm’s length behind Ning Junyan. He lowered his head to look at the hand that was held and then turned to look at other passers-by around him.  A strange feeling arose.

       He couldn’t describe it.

       When they reached the opposite side of the street and the hospital gate was not far ahead, Ning Junyan still didn’t let go of his hand. He stopped and said to Chen Yuncheng on the side of the road, “It’s okay, I don’t need you to pay me back.”

       Chen Yuncheng suppressed the strange feeling in his heart and looked at Ning Junyan.

       Ning Junyan leaned closer to him and said, “I can give you as much money as you want, money is not an important thing. Do you remember when the old man beat you up?”

       The old man he was talking about was the foster father, and Ning Junyan had never called that person his foster father.

       Chen Yuncheng said subconsciously, “Yes, I remember.”

       Ning Junyan said, “When he beat you up, I thought I would kill him. You see, I’m not even afraid to kill for you. What’s money worth?”

       At that moment, Chen Yuncheng felt his face tingle a little. He looked at Ning Junyan, and he wanted to make a joke to defuse this odd topic, but only the corners of his mouth twitched. He didn’t laugh, and he didn’t say what he wanted to say, because Ning Junyan’s expression was too serious.

       Ning Junyan had almost killed someone for him. At that time, Ning Junyan was over thirteen years old and taller than the foster father.

       Chen Yuncheng had heard the foster father and foster mother have discussed sending Ning Junyan away more than once because Ning Junyan didn’t talk to them or listen to them. Ning Jungyan also always looked gloomy and they both felt somewhat afraid in their heart. However, after discussing it for a year or two, they didn’t really send him away, for reasons Chen Yuncheng did not know. Perhaps it was because Ning Junyan’s memory was always incomplete, or because he wasn’t in a good state of mind, and the foster father had never been able to find a suitable method of disposal.

       Then on that day, the foster father got angry because Chen Yuncheng was disobeying him and made him kneel down. The foster father then took a rolling pin and smacked Chen Yuncheng directly.

       Ning Junyan and Zhou Yan were both standing at the side at that time, Zhou Yan being young hid in the corner and did not dare to approach, but Ning Junyan rushed over to grab the rolling pin and knocked the foster father’s shoulder.

       The foster father was blinded by the blow and he didn’t react at first, but even if he reacted, he was no match for Ning Junyan at all.

       Ning Junyan beat him hard with the rolling pin, pushed him to the wall, and then pressed the rolling pin horizontally against his neck as if he was going to strangle him to death.

       Both Chen Yuncheng and the foster mother were terrified, and the two of them came forward. The foster mother tried her best to grab the rolling pin, while Chen Yuncheng hugged Ning Junyan’s waist and dragged him back.

       “Let go, let go!” Chen Yuncheng kept shouting at him.

       Ning Junyan finally let go and threw the rolling pin on the ground.

       The foster father covered his neck, choked, and coughed loudly, while the foster mother supported him, cursing Ning Junyan from beginning to end.

       Chen Yuncheng took Ning Junyan’s hand and pulled him out of the kitchen.

       As soon as the foster father caught his breath, he unwillingly picked up the rolling pin and chased after him to hit Ning Junyan. Ning Junyan stopped and turned around to look at him with a grim expression.

       Chen Yuncheng was still very nervous and shouted, “Foster father!”

       The foster father looked at Ning Junyan for a long time, but in the end, he was probably scared and put down his rolling pin to let them go.

       Chen Yuncheng took Ning Junyan back to the room.

       Ning Jun stretched out his hand and pulled up the T-shirt on Chen Yuncheng’s body to see the wound on his back.

       Chen Yuncheng said, “I’m fine. You scared me.”

       Ning Junyan didn’t speak, walked over to the bed, and sat down.

       Chen Yuncheng knelt down in front of him, reached out and took his hand. He tilted his head up, and asked Ning Jungyan, “Did you really want to kill foster father just now?”

       Ning Junyan nodded.

       Chen Yuncheng asked, “Why?”

       Ning Junyan said, “He hit you.” The teenager entered the period of voice change, and his voice began to be hoarse and unpleasant.

       Chen Yuncheng felt a little sad and said, “Then you can’t kill people either.”

       Ning Jun extended his hand and touched Chen Yuncheng’s face, “No one would have beaten you after he died.”

       Chen Yuncheng shook his head, “No, not in the future.”

       Ning Junyan did not speak.

       Chen Yuncheng said, “You promise me that you won’t do this kind of thing in the future.”

       Ning Junyan looked at him for a long time, nodded and said, “I won’t kill him.”

       At that time, Chen Yuncheng still remembered the conversation between the two very clearly. He knew that he was very important to Ning Junyan, but at that time, he was not in his right mind and had been abandoned by his parents to be adopted by human traffickers.

       They had been separated for too many years. Sixteen years was four times as long as they have been together, and Ning Junyan’s mind already recovered. He already returned to a wealthy family and had received a good education. Ning Jungyan had grown from a teenager whose voice was changing into a 30-year-old adult man, and Chen Yuncheng no longer knew him.

       He didn’t understand what Ning Junyan meant by saying these words now. After getting out of such an environment, Ning Junyan should no longer have the urge to kill, nor would he be able to kill for him again. So what was his position in Ning Junyan’s heart now?

       Ning Junyan finally let go of Chen Yuncheng’s wrist this time, but instead of letting go of Chen Yuncheng, he directly held his hand.

       “You ask me the price,” Ning Junyan said slowly, “Actually, it’s not a price, it’s just my little attempt. I hope you can always be there when I need you.”

       It was difficult for Chen Yuncheng to describe his mood at this time, he just asked, “How long is always?”

       Ning Junyan suddenly squeezed his hand tightly, so strong that he felt a little pain, and then said in his ear, “It means that you are not allowed to leave until I let go.”

       Chen Yuncheng’s heart skipped a beat, and when he was about to speak, Ning Junyan suddenly let go of him.

       Rarely, Ning Junyan showed a faint smile and said to him, “Just kidding.”

       Chen Yuncheng’s expression could not be eased for a while.

       The smile on Ning Junyan’s face remained for a while, and then he said, “Don’t be nervous.”

________________________________________

Ning Junyan: I have to hold back and not break the law


Notes:
Lmao, it means it’s not breaking the law he might actually do it


Support the author by buying author other works and/or giving some jades here~
(note that there are several guides to maneuver in gongzicp or you can just google translate the page. Payment can be made with Apple pay method)

We have a discord server for those who want to receive an update ping and various announcements~
Join here ^^

Check out bean’s new novel here!
and her original novel about a sly cute dragon here~
Check out the other hoeni’s work here~
Check out the angst novel I co-tl with my friend here~

And please buy me some kofi if you like the translation~

Also leave some ratings if you like this series here~

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