80% of Gu Lizhou’s social circle consisted of grown men, most of them over 30. Even if someone had a birthday and gathered everyone together, it was nothing more than drinking, eating, and singing a few songs. Forget gifts—even a cake was a rarity.
Something like asking for a gift had never happened before.
The kid wants a gift.
What should he buy?
Clothes? Pants? Would that be too plain and boring? The clothes he gave last time hadn’t even been worn.
A whole box of Weilong spicy strips?
Pfft.
Just the thought of it made him laugh.
Gu Lizhou couldn’t come up with a good idea, so he called Cao Zhiheng. “Figured out what you’re getting for your father-in-law yet?”
“Buy red wine ah. Why? You got a better idea?”
“No, just asking. Make sure you pick something with a bit of class. Don’t end up buying a fake bottle and chugging it down—getting drunk on counterfeit booze isn’t a good look.”
Cao Zhiheng cursed at him. “You bastard, can’t you wish me well for once?”
Gu Lizhou laughed out loud “Ai, did that little lunatic in 301 tell you tomorrow’s his birthday?”
“He mentioned it, but I’m not sure if I’ll be free tomorrow night. Why? He didn’t invite you? Jealous that I’m more well liked?” Cao Zhiheng said.
Gu Lizhou couldn’t hold back a curse, laughing so hard his eyes nearly squinted shut. “He asked me ages ago. He probably just mentioned it to you out of politeness. I mean, we live together—he wouldn’t want me telling you about it later and making it awkward for you.”
“Cut the crap. I’ve known him for ages. Just recently, I even got him a role as the chief eunuch in a production. He’s probably inviting me to thank me. You, on the other hand, are just the ‘bonus gift’ in a buy-one-get-one deal,” Cao Zhiheng boasted shamelessly.
Gu Lizhou laughed heartily but still insisted on arguing, “Then did he invite you to his birthday in the past few years?”
Cao Zhiheng had no idea what’s up with him today that he had to compare this with him, but he genuinely felt that his relationship with Zhong Weishi had taken a qualitative leap forward thanks to that chief eunuch role.
“We weren’t that close the past four years. We just got familiar this year. You know, brotherhood like ours takes time to cultivate.”
“Have some shame.” Gu Lizhou pulled the conversation back on track. “So what are you planning to give him?”
“Give him what? Just send a WeChat red envelope to show some goodwill.” Cao Zhiheng responded without hesitation.
Gu Lizhou was momentarily stunned. “He didn’t ask you for a gift?”
“A gift? What gift? A red envelope is practical—what’s wrong with that?” Cao Zhiheng said. “Besides, who the hell would go around actively asking for gifts ah!”
Gu Lizhou: “…it’s that good brother of yours, ah.”
Human psychology was truly strange. He was clearly being chased for a gift, yet realizing he was singled out as someone special somehow put him in a good mood.
Even after hanging up the call, the smile on his lips refused to fade.
He clicked on a certain treasure1Taobao. Whereas 某宝 meant certain “宝” or bao which can also mean treasure. website and had just typed in “gift for guys” when an automatic suggestion popped up.
—Gifts for Boyfriend
As if possessed, he clicked on it.
Watches, gaming consoles, razors, engraved lighters, couple T-shirts, custom ceramic mugs… The average price was under 150.
Almost every product’s main image had captions like ‘A gift no boyfriend can resist!’ ‘Guys will tear up instantly!’ ‘Give this, and he’ll love you even more!’ and so on.
The visuals were overwhelming, but internally, he felt nothing—if anything, he wanted to laugh.
He flipped through several pages, but everything felt like the kind of gifts only seventeen or eighteen-year-old kids in their awkward, innocent phase would give.
The second time, he changed the keywords: gifts for grown men.
Surprisingly, it was the same stuff…
He must be searching the wrong way.
Alright, let’s try again.
The third time’s keyword: gifts for little kids
…fvck. How the fvck is it still those!
It’s not working!
Gu Lizhou nearly flipped his laptop over in frustration.
Switching to a certain hu 2This is another website: Zhihu.for answers, the suggested gifts had a bit more class.
Noise-canceling headphones, men’s perfume, notebooks, handcrafted leather wallets, mechanical keyboards, sneakers, speakers…
But none of them gave him that immediate “Ah, that little bastard would like this” feeling.
Gu Lizhou kept refreshing the page, feeling like an old father painstakingly researching university majors and future career paths for his kid.
I’m so exhausted, I’m going bald.
It was even more brain-consuming than codewords.
Was this how Zhong Weishi felt when he helped him find a job back then?
Gu Lizhou clicked into Zhong Weishi’s WeChat Moments, hoping to find some clues. Instead, he scrolled through a bunch of short videos.
Most were clips from the set—Zhong Weishi jumping off a shipping container, landing face-first in the dirt, then getting up and grinning stupidly at the camera.
Qiangzi performed his signature trick of swallowing a whole dragon fruit in one go. The deep red juice dribbled down his neck as he spoke, “Xin-jie’s fruit store—imported straight from Hainan! Sweet and juicy, guaranteed! Order a box now and get two extra for free! Local customers from Yucheng can have it delivered at their door!”
Another video featured him devouring a watermelon. He stood in a solid horse stance, holding the melon with both hands. At the sound of a whistle, he jerked his head forward—and in an instant, the watermelon flesh was gone. Meanwhile, the person next to him was still struggling to take their first few bites.
Qiangzi wiped his mouth dramatically in front of the camera, wearing the calm, confident smile of a true champion.
Gu Lizhou watched the videos with a twisted expression, his stomach aching slightly. What kind of hardcore survival skills were these…
Just as he clicked on the next video, Zhong Weishi’s frantic screaming blasted from the speakers, startling Gu Lizhou so much that he hurried to lower the volume.
“AH AH AH AH AH AHAH—GU-ZI GU-ZI GU-ZI GU-ZI GU-ZI! SIGN THIS FOR ME AH—I—I—I—I’M YOUR FAN!—”3Apologies for the upper cases on this one if it hurts your eyes lol. Since he was screaming, I figured I’d use this here. Thanks!
It looked like the back hallway of a high-end hotel. The shaky, nausea-inducing camera work barely captured a glimpse of a handsome celebrity’s smiling face.
The Superstar Gu himself patiently took the pen and doodled a spiral potato skewer on Zhong Weishi’s shirt.
“Gu-zi, you radiate righteousness—even when you play villains, you look like an undercover agent! I’ve seen all your movies, super handsome!— You have to take good care of yourself ah!” Zhong Weishi’s voice trembled with excitement. At the end, he even added in Cantonese, “I I really like this one ah.”
Superstar Gu gave him a slight nod, flashing a dazzling yet impeccably polite smile before leaving.
Gu Lizhou: “…”
Did this guy even know what he was saying?
And… just how many people did he like?
The video was replayed twice.
Pursing his lips, Gu Lizhou exited WeChat. With that enthusiasm, that tremble in his voice, that sheer joy spilling through the screen—Gu Tianle was definitely his white moonlight!
Once that inexplicable sour feeling faded, a sudden flash of inspiration struck Gu Lizhou—autograph!
Right, right, right, autograph, autograph!
Wan Lizhou’s autograph!!!
It felt like he had just cracked a complex Olympiad math problem—his was instantly energized
With a swift motion, he dashed out the door.
At noon, the scorching sun blazed overhead, even making the taxi driver look drowsy from the heat.
Gu Lizhou paid the fare, got out of the car, and hurried into a large bookstore.
Luckily, even after all these years, Wan Lizhou’s books still occupied a prime spot in the bestsellers section.
The <Wraiths> a complete set of twelve volumes—just lifting them was a workout. Would this be too… hefty as a gift?
Gu Lizhou imagined Zhong Weishi, full from a meal, carrying this stack of books home like he was hauling a bundle of explosives. He couldn’t help but laugh.
There are too many.
Better to pick just one.
The autograph was secondary—the real goal was to bestow upon him the prestigious title of “personal acquaintance of the renowned bestselling author Wan Lizhou.”
Gu Lizhou had already started picturing hundreds of possible reactions from Zhong Weishi when he found out his true identity.
Maybe he’d want a hug, soak in his brilliance…
Will he scream at that time?
Definitely.
Then, blushing furiously, he’d cover his face, recalling the heartfelt confession he had once read aloud at night—probably embarrassed to the point of collapse.
Prepare to tremble, foolish Earthling.
Gu Lizhou, still lost in his fantasy of Zhong Weishi being moved to tears, grinned at the book cover’s wraparound band for a good while—until someone tapped him on the shoulder.
It was a young girl. She pointed to her throat and ears, then shook her hand before gesturing at the donation slip in her other hand.
On it was a fundraiser for a children’s welfare organization.
Gu Lizhou gave her all the cash in his wallet.
A simple red string bracelet could be exchanged for a twenty-yuan donation, but he had given several hundred all at once. The girl looked overwhelmed. She only had two bracelets left in her pocket—most of the remaining items were little bells.
The temperament of the man in front of her didn’t seem like someone who would wear bells.
She quickly pulled out a prepared notebook, writing: “Thank you for your kind donation. Wearing this will bring you good luck.”
“Is it blessed?” Gu Lizhou teased, twirling the red string between his fingers.
The girl squinted and smiled, nodding. She flipped to the next page and wrote: “Wishing you and your lover good health.”
“I don’t have a lover yet,” Gu Lizhou chuckled. “But thanks anyway.”
The girl lowered her head and wrote quickly, “It will help you find one!”
Even though he knew it was just a little trick to coax kids, he still accepted it with a smile.
At the checkout counter, he picked out a gold-embossed signature pen. After paying, he headed straight to the café next door.
What would be a good thing to write?
Gu Lizhou solemnly made a draft on his cell phone memo.
“To Xiao Weiwei…” No, no, no, way too mushy.
“To Zhong Weishi…” Does that sound too distant?
“To little bastard,” that worked.
After signing, Gu Lizhou blew lightly on the page for a long time, letting the ink dry.
But still, considering that he was Zhong Weishi’s ultimate white moonlight in the 2D world, just giving him a novel worth a few dozen yuan felt a little stingy.
So, he headed to a nearby shopping mall and picked out a mechanical watch. It had a sleek black dial, a leather strap, and a simple, versatile design.
From the moment he stepped in, the sales associate had been chattering non-stop. “This one looks really good on you, suits you perfectly—very classy and sophisticated.”
“It’s not for me, it’s a gift.”
“A gift still needs to be sophisticated ah.”
“…”
“This model is currently 20% off, and you’ll get a complimentary gift worth 199 yuan.”
“Just wrap it up nicely.”
“No problem, no problem! Would you like the gift to be wrapped separately?”
Just then, his phone rang—it was Cheng Hang. Gu Lizhou absentmindedly replied, “No need, just put everything together.”
“When will you be back?”
“In a couple days, I still have some things to do here.”
“Alright, no rush. The planning department is still recruiting new people. When you’re back, call me—I’ll take you to our company’s operations department so you can get a feel for the game’s concept and design requirements. Then you can decide if you want to write for it.”
“Good.”
The calm surface of the lake rippled.
Gu Lizhou lost sleep again that night.
His emotions were complicated, his mind a tangled mess of thoughts.
About the past, the present, the future. About dreams…
He thought about what he really loved.
He used to think that if he ever stopped writing, he would probably die. But he didn’t. Life went on.
That’s probably what life is all about.
Finding joy in monotony, creating something extraordinary out of the ordinary.
The next day was another hot sunny day.
Gu Lizhou slept until past three in the afternoon.
His head was groggy from the lack of sleep. After getting up and washing up, he caught sight of the small gift box on the table, finally remembering Zhong Weishi’s birthday.
While shaving, he mentally ran through the entire big reveal and gift-giving sequence.
First, he would hand over the novel and casually mention that it had Wan Lizhou’s personal autograph. When Zhong Weishi opened the cover and saw that one-of-a-kind, exclusive signature—the ultimate badge of honor—he would definitely go nuts, jumping around so wildly his head might explode from excitement.
Then, after confirming his identity with tears of joy, they would share a heartfelt embrace.
Maybe Zhong Weishi would blush, stammering as he showered him with rainbow farts. But as a calm and composed author, he had to stay steady—no laughing.
With a dignified wave of his hand, he would say, “Genius or not, I’m just an ordinary person. But from now on, live well ah! Never stop chasing your dreams! As long as you work hard, fate will be beneath your feet. Trust me!”
Zhong Weishi would be so overwhelmed he’d tremble all over. “You’ll always be my idol…”
That’s when he would present the watch as a souvenir for his fan.
Even the most ordinary gift would take on extraordinary meaning because of who it came from.
“Well? Isn’t it thrilling, seamless, and unforgettable?”
Cao Zhiheng scratched his cheeks, genuinely moved by the elaborate plan. “Man, that’s really thoughtful. If it were me, I would’ve been moved to tears! No matter what you give at a time like this, you’ll be moved to death!”
“Right? I thought so too.” Gu Lizhou was full of confidence.
Just then, his phone rang.
He had barely said “Hello” when Zhong Weishi’s panicked voice exploded through the receiver. “Come, quickly save me ah—”
Gu Lizhou was so scared that his liver trembled, “What happened?! Where are you?”
“I—I…” Zhong Weishi sounded pitiful. “I got taken to the police station.”
Gu Lizhou’s eyes widened. “How the hell did you end up there again?!”
—Two hours earlier.
After wrapping up Er’Gou’s case, Huangfu Qiang got lucky and landed a new job—an extramarital affair investigation.
A rich woman suspected her husband was keeping a mistress. If they could capture solid evidence, she could strip the man of everything in the divorce. The reward was a hefty 100,000 yuan.
Naturally, an opportunity like this had to be shared with his brothers in arms.
So the Xicheng District’s Express Debt Collection Team group was active again.
“Brothers brothers, the opportunity to get rich has arrived ah!”
Zhong Weishi was firm. “I’m not going, I’m not going. I’ve decided to live an honest life. Don’t drag me into any more get-rich-quick schemes.”
“No, bro, this time it’s different—love triangles, scandals… Damn ya, this rich lady is loaded. She directly dumped me a 10,000 yuan deposit.”
Zhong Weishi’s eyes flickered. “That much?”
Qiangzi held down the voice recording button and spitefully recounted the entire story in the group chat.
It was a continuous stream of ten or so 59-second voice messages, leaving everyone speechless.
“That rich woman said she saw the chat records—he’s been flirting with some woman constantly. It’s absolutely true. The only thing missing are pictures for evidence.”
After their previous overnight trip to the police station, Zhong Weishi remained rational this time. “The key is, how do we get a photo? Are you planning to storm into his house? Have you lost your mind? Did you forget what Old Li told us?”
“This time, we’re doing a good deed! It’s an affair! Breaking up a couple is breaking up a couple,” Qiangzi spent nearly half an hour analyzing his views on marriage and love from every possible angle. “In short, I think, from a moral standpoint, we have to help her.”
A’Wei: “Cheating? What kind of man is he? We have to kill him!”
Da Fei: “I agree.”
Zhong Weishi got straight to the point. “How much is she paying you?”
Qiangzi sent a string of numbers.
Zhong Weishi’s eyes widened so much that he felt like he didn’t need to use his hand to keep his eyeballs, they were about to pop to the ground.
After a long silence, the man who had just been chanting, “I’m not going, don’t drag me into any get-rich-quick schemes,” suddenly spoke in a deep voice: “That dog man’s behavior is outrageous. If I don’t get photographic evidence, I’ll spell my name backward!”
Qiangzi and A’Wei took turns following the dog man for several days before finally catching him wrapping his arm around a young woman and entering a high-end hotel.
Zhong Weishi, having watched too many TVB dramas,4*TVB drama produced by Television Broadcasts Limited (TVB), a Hong Kong-based television broadcasting company. teamed up with A’Wei to steal a hotel staff uniform and service cart before heading over to knock on the door.
When they entered under the guise of delivering desserts, the woman was already lying on the bed in a bathrobe.
Wealth is obtained from taking risks!
The opportunity was right in front of them!
The difference between TV dramas and reality was that, in dramas, the protagonist could stealthily place a hidden camera in a spot unnoticed by the villain. In reality, however, shaky hands led to immediate suspicion.
The moment the girl called out to him, Zhong Weishi trembled in fright, and the camera fell straight to the floor.
All in all it was quite a grueling battle.
It was so close to dying on the spot.
Now, clutching his swollen cheek from the slap he’d received, Zhong Weishi skipped over the brutal beating he had endured and barely held back tears as he explained, “Old Li—Old Li said that since he knows me, he’s going to keep me locked up a few extra days.”
Gu Lizhou really didn’t hold back and laughed so hard that his shoulders shook. “Hahahahahahahaha—”
“You’re laughing?!” Zhong Weishi roared. “Are you even my bro!”
Gu Lizhou made no effort to stop. “Well, guess you’ll be staying a few more days. Who told you to go around causing trouble?”
“I—I, I really know I was wrong. I still want to film… But they said I have to pay a fine before they’ll let me out.”
Realizing that his record might soon be marked with an unforgettable stain, Zhong Weishi grew anxious, his eyes reddening. His voice softened, “I don’t know who else to call. Just help me out this once, for the sake of our brotherhood. Come pay the fine for me—I’ll write you an IOU as soon as I get out. I swear I’ll pay you back!”
Money wasn’t an issue, but Gu Lizhou raised an eyebrow and asked, “What’s in it for me?”
“What do you want? Whatever I can give, I’ll give you.” Zhong Weishi pouted. “I’ll even wash your underwear if I have to. Please, just get over here. Qiangzi and the others were all picked up by their parents—only I’m left. The police uncles are about to get off work.”
It was a completely normal plea, but when it reached that old beast’s ears, for some reason, he couldn’t help but picture a little kid crouching at a kindergarten entrance, drawing circles on the ground.
“All the other kids were picked up by their parents… I’m the only one left.”
Gu Lizhou was amused by his own imagination and reassured him, “No rush, there are still officers on duty anyway.”
His voice carried a relaxed tone, his brows slightly raised in amusement. Transmitted through the wireless call, his words sounded more like he was gloating.
“If you don’t want to come, forget it. I’m hanging up.” Zhong Weishi let out a heavy snort.
“Don’t hang up.”
“What?” Zhong Weishi’s tone was icy, but deep down, he was smug—he knew Gu Lizhou wouldn’t have the heart to leave him stranded.
Gu Lizhou curled the corner of his lips. “Call me Daddy.”
“Huh?” Zhong Weishi was stunned.
Holding a cigarette between his fingers, Gu Lizhou grinned wickedly. “Call me Daddy, and I’ll come get you right now.”
