Yu He stared at the question mark, feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: What’s wrong?

Guoguo: …

Guoguo: You’d better not log into the game

Too late.

He was already logged in.

The last place this account had logged out was Luming, said to be the most scenic place in Xianxia Online, a spot famous as a dating paradise.

However, before Yu He even had time to appreciate the scenery, he was… hacked to death.

After death, members of the demon race turn into spirit beast forms. Yu He watched helplessly as the pink-dressed loli collapsed with a puff and turned into a short-eared rabbit.

[You have been killed by player [No Money for Porridge]]

… Slowly typed out a “?”

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Hehe, you still dare to log in. I’ve been camping you for a whole week

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Where’s that voice changer husband of yours?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Call him online. I’ll send the two of you a reincarnation gift pack

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Don’t be shy about it

This guy called “No Money for Porridge” was a Shaolin, standing on his corpse and mocking him like crazy, even using those sleazy “shy-shy” emotes. Paired with the monk character model, it was truly a sight to behold.

Yu He didn’t revive and didn’t bother with him either. Instead, he switched back to the chat window with Yu Guo and prepared to receive the baptism.

Guoguo: …This Jiaojiao is a well-known sea king white lotus in Chang Xiang Si. She flirts with a bunch of guys to get gear, calling everyone “husband.” Makes me sick

Guoguo: Originally, it wasn’t a big deal, just a woman with bad character who flits from one to another. But unfortunately, she scammed Zhizi Yugui. He’s an RMB whale1Players who spends a lot of real currency on a game. and cares about his face, so he directly put out a bounty and got her reincarnated so hard she was almost unplayable

Guoguo: Later, the whole server knew about her, and all her backup boyfriends came forward too

Guoguo: Oh, right, she’s also in the same guild as me… No idea why she was never kicked

Guoguo: Probably because the guild leader himself is a sea king

Guoguo: Sigh, calling our guild a scum guild is actually pretty fitting. The guild leader, Tang Chao, is scum himself, plus those two weirdos, Jiaojiao and Mingyue

Guoguo: Oh yeah, there’s also an assassin called Mingyue who used a voice changer to scam a lot of girls…

Guoguo: But he’s a bit better. At least he doesn’t juggle multiple people. Once he formed a bond, he stopped being ambiguous with others. He’s just too Qiao Biluo2Famous female streamer who went viral for catfishing. She looked cute on camera using filters, but when she appearedin real life without filters, she looked different from her online persona.–like… I heard his real voice is really greasy.

Guoguo: Later, Jiaojiao and Mingyue suddenly tied the knot without a word. I heard it caused a sensation across the entire server, and some of the people who’d been scammed even spent money to come crash the wedding

Guoguo: Too bad I hadn’t joined the game back then, so I didn’t get to see it live.

Guoguo: There should be a lot of people putting bounties on Jiaojiao. She’s red-named, right? Check the bond list again and see if Mingyue is still there…

She was indeed red-named. Yu He fumbled around and opened the bond list, and sure enough, there was a name lying there called Mingyue. Thankfully, both the name and avatar were grayed out with an offline status.

Who knows whether he knew his wife had sold the account?

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: It’s there [screenshot]

Guoguo: …What now?

Guoguo: This guy’s a repeat offender. He’s done the buy-account-sell-account cicada-shedding trick several times already. If you say you’re not the original owner, no one’s going to believe you

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: I’ll just play it for now. I already bought it anyway, no refunds

Yu He wasn’t exactly heartbroken over the money. He just felt that it was quite a fateful encounter.

Though a rather ill-fated one, that is.

Guoguo: But if you want to practice your skills, you can try it (?)

Guoguo: After all, so many people are lining up to kill you. Just treat it as free playtime _(:з」∠)_ That Jiaojiao’s gear and cultivation are actually pretty good

Guoguo: Let them reincarnate you down one level first, then go 1v1 in the wild

Xianxia Online has a newbie-protection setting. Red-named players who haven’t reached max level can only be attacked by one person at a time.

This means that in the wild, as long as your skills are good enough, a red-name can roam freely, though many quests and events become unavailable.

Yu He: Okay, I’ll play for now. If it really doesn’t work out, we’ll figure something out later

Guoguo: Mm-hmm

Guoguo: But it really is pretty dramatic… Bro, go buy a lottery ticket. Maybe you’ll win a few million or something

It was dramatic, but sadly, it’s a Shakespearean tragedy.

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: I’ll go buy one this weekend. If I win, I’ll treat you to dinner during National Day

Guoguo: hhhh okay

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: It’s late, hurry up and go to sleep

Yu Guo replied with a “withered rose” and obediently went off to sleep. There was early training tomorrow. If she kept surfing the internet, she wouldn’t be able to get up.

Yu He switched back to the game and silently ran to the resurrection point to revive.

In the game, after dying, you can choose to revive on the spot, revive at the resurrection point, or be rescued by someone using a skill. Given the situation… it was better to behave and stay in the safe zone.

Under the monk’s mockery, Yu He slipped back to the capital city. The little rabbit turned back into a pink-dressed loli, the round rabbit ears on her head at first glance looking just like Totoro’s ears.

Although the name was still red, people couldn’t be attacked in the safe zone, nor could they fight.

Jiaojiao’s gear was all pretty good, and seeing the durability drop still made him quite distressed.

At this moment, a loudspeaker message suddenly appeared at the top of the screen—

[World][No Money for Porridge]: White Lotus Jiaojiao is online. I just killed her once in Luming. She should’ve revived back in the capital city

In-game loudspeakers require spending RMB to buy. This No Money for Porridge guy must have some deep-seated grudge against Jiaojao. Absolutely insane.

[World][Hehehe]: ? Finally online. Got my little stool ready

[World][A Lonely Dog]: Front row selling melon seeds, cola, soda

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl3nmsl = 你妈死了 lit. your mom is dead. Fig. f* you: If you’ve got the guts, stay in the capital city forever and don’t come out [smile]

[World][Mingyue nmsl]: Where’s your man, White Lotus?

[World][I’ll Do the Damage]: hhh when is the voice changer husband going to meet irl ah

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: Didn’t you say you checked the IPs and they’re together? Maybe it’s just one person

[World][Tonight With You]: Voice changers are way too powerful these days. I even thought Mingyue’s voice sounded nice before, but it’s so greasy now. Probably in his 40s or 50s… ugh

[World][No Money for Porridge]: Disgusting. If they’re really the same person, I’m f***g done for

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: Pat pat, Porridge bro. That’s tragic…

While Yu He was quietly lurking, another loudspeaker shook the entire world—

[Loudspeaker][Zhizi Yugui]: Continuing the bounty on player “Jiaojiao”.

Yu He opened the bounty board. It was sorted by bounty amount. Unsurprisingly, Jiaojiao was ranked first. Right after her, in second place, was the assassin called Mingyue. Tang Chao was nowhere to be seen.

… These two were way too 64Impressive. Similar to when they say 666.. Might as well form a group and debut as the centers.

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: The tycoon is here

[World][No Money for Porridge]: Poor folks like me can only camp and reincarnate people 🙂

[World][Hehehe]: Front row freeloading against the RMB big shot

[World][Slept All Afternoon]: Even so, paying respects to the big shot. Big shot, need a leg accessory?

[World][Luo Yan]: Price raised

[World][I’ll Do the Damage]: The big shot’s wife is here

[World][Eating Duck Duck]: Freeloading!!

[World][What to Eat Tonight]: Thanks to White Lotus for supporting the entire server. Please, never quit

Yu He: …

Yu He didn’t dare say anything in World Chat. He’d most likely be flamed into oblivion. After lurking for a bit, he focused on checking the items in his account.

There were no major issues with the account. Everything that should be there was there, and the cultivation, equipment, and materials were all quite good. At the very least, it was worth the price.

If only the reputation were a bit better, it would be perfect.

Yu He gnawed at his fingernail. The cat on his lap had already started making soft purring sounds.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t considered abandoning the account and buying a new one. After all, this one was beyond redemption. But when he thought about being chased down and killed over and over as a red-name… It was actually kind of exciting.

Isn’t gaming all about having fun? The fun had delivered itself right to his doorstep. Might as well experience it first.

Anyway, he wasn’t stealing or robbing anyone. Playing a game; who owed whom anything?

What’s more… wasn’t he supposed to help Yu Guo beat up his scum ex? This account was perfect for that. There really couldn’t be a better one.

Yu He opened the guild info. The guild was called “Chang’an,” and the guild leader was Tang Chao, an assassin. The moment he opened his profile, a wave of RMB aura rushed at his face, nearly blinding him. Friend requests were set to disabled.

As expected of Boss Tang, the man with an entire fish pond…5Someone who has a lot of girls. Similar to like there are many fish in the sea, so his was a whole fish pond.

He really was a perfect match for that Jiaojiao.

As for that Mingyue? Divorce tomorrow.

—

It was already very late. Yu He shut down the computer, burrowed into his blanket, and opened the Xianxia Online forums to scroll through the drama.

As everyone knows, every anonymous forum is a place where liveliness and bloody drama converge. Lying in bed, Yu He feasted on gossip until he was full.

Just as Yu Guo had said, Jiaojiao was a notorious white lotus scammer in Chang Xiang Si. She’d been exposed and reincarnated countless times, and had repeatedly pulled the cicada-shedding trick using excuses like “account hacked” or “account bought and sold.”

When everyone finally stopped believing it, Yu He, this unfortunate sucker, showed up.

He’d even thought Yu Guo was careless and easy to scam; turns out this big brother was even worse…

There were also threads suspecting that Jiaojiao and Mingyue were the same person. Some big shots had checked the IPs and said they were from the same place; it was just unclear whether it was a group operation.

If they really were one person… Yu He couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for Porridge bro.

After all, Mingyue’s unclear standard Mandarin was only able to hook girls thanks to his decent-sounding voice. Then one time, who knows whether he forgot to turn on the voice changer or what, but he called a girl “wife” in his greasy real voice. The girl was so scared she nearly died on the spot, and later quit the game entirely, never to be seen again.

That “Mingyue nmsl” account belonged to the girl’s friend’s alt, who made it a daily routine to send regards to Mingyue’s ancestors for eighteen generations.

… If it really was the same person, Porridge bro would probably be traumatized for life. A male version of Qiao Biluo or something… just thinking about it was almost too beautiful.

After finishing the gossip, Yu He opened Weibo and scrolled for a bit. The radio drama he’d worked on was scheduled to be released at exactly midnight tonight, and as the “female lead,” he still had to sprinkle some flowers in celebration.

He’d submitted the raw audio a long time ago. Post-production had taken a bit longer. He was voicing the female lead of a BG novel; gentle and soft, just a little silly and sweet.

Staying up until midnight to repost the Weibo, Yu He thought for a moment and then posted another update—

CV He Gui: Anyone playing Xianxia Online? [doge] Successfully got into the game

Replies immediately popped up below, mostly asking which server he was on, and others asking for his ID.

Yu He curled his lips, then turned off his phone.

If he really told them, his Weibo would turn into a bloody storm tomorrow.

—

Late at night, Tang Shaoqing, who’d been specially following someone and happened to see the post about successfully getting into the game, stared at that Weibo in silence. On the computer screen, his assassin character was cut down with a single slash, and he didn’t even notice.

[World][Mingyue nmsl]: ! The dog man is online, logged in with his voice changer again