Warmly Celebrate the First Bouquet of Flowers That xiao Tang Bought For Mr Chen


       He died three days ago, and before he died, he sent me a bouquet of flowers.

       I looked at the white Chinese Bellflower1Platycodon grandiflorus gently swaying by the wind in the clear, thin-necked vase on the windowsill, there were red stars on the petal, and a strange idea suddenly popped into my mind—how did he think of buying me this kind of flower? Well, now, the flowers were still there, but he was gone.

       Was he honestly trying to give me a hard time?

       Speaking of which, he was not even my lover.

       If you die, then you die.


       I didn’t feel much either.

       Yes, I was a little stuffy. But maybe it was because of the bad weather. I got up and took the vase on the windowsill into my bedroom.



       He was a failure as a person. He had no family or friends, and I was the one who collected the ashes. If it weren’t for the fact that he lived with me for eight years, I would not be willing to put off my work and take him home.



       He held the bouquet of flowers in his arms the whole time. When I arrived, he handed it to me and smiled at me. I didn’t pick it up and turned around to get him a tissue, yet he died.

       He didn’t have time to say anything to me, his mouth was full of blood, and his bloody smile was very miserable that I actually tried to get a tissue to wipe him off, but he died.

       The doctor suggested that I throw away the bunch of flowers, probably because he thought it was unlucky to have blood on it or something. I watched his face covered with a white cloth by the doctor, and the bunch of flowers was gently picked up by the nurse and thrown into the medical trash. I subconsciously took it over and wanted to exchange some pleasantries, but I couldn’t speak then. I just looked at the blood-stained petals, and my throat was blocked.

       This was the flower he gave me.

       I think it was the last bouquet of flowers he gave me.



       My mind was a bit messy now, and I couldn’t handle the company’s affairs either. The documents were scattered in my mind. Secretary Zhang advised me to rest for a couple of days, and I did not refuse. I drove home in the afternoon.

       His urn was given by the funeral home. It was a simple wooden box with no scent of wood and the quality of the material was poor. When I got it back two days ago, I put it on the coffee table in the living room. I glanced at the box when I first walked in, and I didn’t feel unlucky, just a little bewildered.

       He’s not coming back? I asked myself.

       Is that urn on the coffee table him?

       He won’t be coming back. There was a voice in my heart that kept rising up. I couldn’t swallow it, and my heart ached.

       How strange.



       I sat on the sofa and looked at him.

       If it were in the past, at this time, he would have whispered my name with a red face and asked if I needed anything. After he asked, he would get up and do it for me.

       He was a little afraid of me because he always loved me carefully.

       He would listen to anything I said. He once said that human language was a way to express emotions clearly and that if I was impatient, I would scold him off on the spot. After he finished speaking, he giggled as if he had deliberately told a joke to amuse me, and I gave him a kick to make him fall into convulsions.

       He laughed like an idiot and was shaking all over. I watched it for a while and wanted to reach out and nudge him to sit still, he was too outrageous.

       The hand that reached out only touched the edge of the wooden box.

       Oh. So he’s not laughing anymore.



       The first time I saw him was at the mall when my dad took me on an inspection tour, and he was dressed like a little beggar, squatting dirty in front of the gate and eating steamed buns from his hand.

       I looked at him, and he raised his head almost simultaneously. Helplessness and panic appeared in his large bright eyes. I walked a little closer towards him, and he immediately stood up and stammered, “…Yes, I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to be here, it was so cold, I’ll just warm up some more and go.” The steamed bun in his hand was rubbed out of shape by the fingers he took and folded haphazardly, and his arm was injured somewhere, and a large gash was dripping blood.

       Perhaps I felt the novelty of it, so I handed him a handkerchief and said, “Wipe the blood on your arm. Does your body still hurt? Shall I ask my father to take you to the hospital?”

       He hurriedly shook his head, “It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt, I’ll leave right away!”

       He looked really pitiful, so I couldn’t help but reach out and give him a hand.

       It was just a small favour, and not even could be considered a help.

       Yet he had always been grateful to me.

       On the way to the hospital, he said he had no money to pay me back, so I could just leave him on the side of the road. When I said no, he cried and said, “I can’t afford it. It’s not good.”

       He had a really pretty eyes, and he looked very sincere and cute when he looked at people. I paused for some reason and said, “Then just follow me, and you don’t have to pay it back.”

       He opened his eyes wide, I smiled at him, and he fell silent. He seemed to think very hard for a while and nodded solemnly. He then said seriously, “I will repay you.”

       He really repaid me later, and he had always been very good to me. There was probably no one in the world who treated me better than he did.

       He was nine years old at that time, but he remembered things clearly. He told me that he was an orphan and that he had been in a welfare home since he was a child, then he was kidnapped and sold all the way to beg on the street. He told me that last week, he took the opportunity to escape because the bad guys wanted to break his hand because he said he didn’t want to cheat people out of money like that. I thought he was so silly and cute. What was wrong with that?

       He was very aggrieved and said that being a human being shouldn’t be deceitful, not even as a child.

       Then why didn’t he run away before?

       He was a little surprised when he heard my question, then he laughed and said, “I ran away, but I was caught and beaten so badly that I almost broke my leg, so this time I ran for a long, long time, not daring to stop, hoping that one day I would find a place where I could lie down in peace and never have to run again.”

       “Then don’t run away anymore. Just follow me,” I told him.



       He really did follow me.

       For years after that, until he died.

       I put the junk on the coffee table on another table. I just wanted him to be there by himself, in peace and quiet just by himself.

       I looked at him and thought to myself that he had indeed found a place where he could lie in peace and never have to run again.

       I begged my dad to keep him and fund his schooling, and he would be with me every day, from morning to night, from school to home.

       I didn’t think that I liked him.

       At best, he was a servant of my family, a playmate my father raised for me. He was not as good-looking as the young master of the Rongsheng Group, nor was he competent, and he was too dumb to be true.

       I would never, ever have liked him.

       So, when he confessed, I beat him. He was kicked by me and fell over; the present in his hand fell to the ground. It was a large bottle of colourful hand-folded stars that fell to the ground.

       I cursed at him for being sick, and he looked up at me a little woefully. He only knew how to smile, but there was a hint of helplessness and hurt under his eyes that he couldn’t retrieve in time. He seemed a little puzzled and said, “Can’t I like you? But many people like you.”

       I simply laughed at his stupid question and wanted to kick him to death.

       “Others are others. How can you like me?”

       He said, “But I really like you.”

       “Why can’t I like you? Because you don’t like me?”


       He asked me that question, but I didn’t know how to answer. I really didn’t like him, I just didn’t want to leave him behind, I didn’t want …… him to stop filling his heart with me.

       I was so selfish.

       I didn’t love him, yet I wanted him to love me, but I didn’t allow him to love me.

       It was hard to be a man in this world, and in my case, it was even harder to be him.



       I put the bellflower by his side. I had breakfast and felt that the noodles I made were not as tasty as his, and I couldn’t eat them after two bites.

       His cooking skills were honed over the years, and what he used to make was really something to behold from afar and not to be messed with. However, so that I could eat something warm when I got home, he signed up for a cooking class.

       He always took everything seriously.

       Even the first time he had sex with me was rigorous and restrained, which was a bit funny when you thought about it. Who would look at your bed partner with a serious face and command them to wear a condom and then recite the 30 items of adult sex life safety precautions for you before doing it?


       …really an idiot.



       After graduating, he joined the company with me and became my secretary. In fact, he had always done an excellent job and had a great work ethic, but I still recruited Secretary Zhang and put him at the back of the line. He no longer had the opportunity to stick around me every day.

       In the morning, he made breakfast at home, called me to get up, dressed me, and then chatted about today’s schedule. On the first day, I interrupted him, “Zhang Xing is responsible for the company’s affairs, and you don’t need to worry about it. “

       He showed a blank expression, and after a while, he said, “Am… I not also your secretary?”

       I became impatient, “Can you compare yourself to Zhang Xing? What kind of education does he have, and what kind of education do you have?”

       “…But what I did, wasn’t it good?”

       Good, but I didn’t like it.

       I felt too lazy to talk to him anymore. He was always like this, like a newborn calf, ignorant. Always asking why for everything, how can there be so many whys?

       If I didn’t like it, then I didn’t like it.



       I didn’t know where he got so much enthusiasm, and it was like his whole body seemed to have endless energy.

       On my birthday, when I returned from a reception party with Secretary Zhang, I was thinking of taking a shower and drinking a bowl of sweet soup2 for my birthday. But when I opened the door, I was greeted with a burst of fireworks.

       The pieces of paper flying in the sky were colourful, and they were mixed in the broken-coloured tin foil. He smiled at me, holding the fireworks tube.

       I wanted to give him a slap with a calm face, but Secretary Zhang, who was standing next to me, burst out laughing, “…Xiao Tang, you’ve done a good job.”

       I glared at him, looked around for something, and then looked behind Tang Nianhuai.

       A large banner with white characters and a red background hangs in the centre of the living room, with a row of characters written on it—Warmly Celebrating Comrade Chen Yu’an’s 26th Birthday!


       When he noticed that I was gnashing my teeth in anger silently, Zhang Xing quickly said he had to go home and that he would send me the itinerary for tomorrow later.

       Tang Nianhuai, this idiot, waved the person away, came back and kissed me on the face, and said with a smirk, “Happy birthday Yu’an! It’s etiquette for you to kiss me back since I kissed you.”

       My head exploded, and I ground my teeth, “Where’s the etiquette from?”

       “France?” he said questioningly.

       I think he hadn’t been beaten by me for too long, and his skin itched.

       So that night, I was honest with him—perhaps he didn’t expect to succeed. He was not mentally prepared, so he cried in a mess, humming and saying, “Mingming… Don’t do it!”

       Maybe it was because what he did that night was too outrageous, and my brain became uneasy, and I couldn’t help but make him stagger, anyway…he likes me.

       I’m not responsible.



       I don’t like him!



       Tang Nianhuai’s name was like a tongue twister, so I asked him to change his name. He thought about it and told me that this name was left on a note by his parents when he was a child. Although he didn’t know who he was missing, he still used it for the left and right. He said he didn’t know what name was better anyway. At the end of the sentence, he laughed again, like a fool.

       I told him, Name yourself Tanggua3malt sugar candy.

       He laughed and giggled and actually took out an eight-treasure candy4八宝糖出 from his pocket and handed it to me, “Mr Chen eat this candy, don’t get so angry on a hot day~”

       I wrapped my mouth around Babao Candy and reached out to rub his lower back. Yesterday, I reluctantly did an excellent job with him at his repeated request, and today he was too sore to stand up, grunting and giggling.

       He said, “So tired, So painful, Clearly said that if there is a secretary Zhang, no one else is needed~”


       I didn’t expect my idiot to hold a grudge.



       Zhang Xing would occasionally come up and tell me three hundred and sixty-five of xiao Tang’s virtues, such as being honest and cute, being beautiful, cooking deliciously, walking more in more a straight line than others…etc.

       I couldn’t bear it anymore, so I took Zhang Xing to find Tang Nianhuai. Xiao Tang looked innocent, “I didn’t ask Secretary Zhang to say good things about me in front of you!”

       “How do you know I came to you for this?” I asked him.

       He scowled, “You even picked up Secretary Zhang.”

       I laughed angrily at him, “Don’t make it difficult for Secretary Zhang. Someone in their thirties still has to rack their brains in front of me to talk about your merits. Can’t you just be considerate of the elderly?”

       Zhang Xing interrupted and interjected, “Elderly people are those who have reached the age of sixty ……”

       I threw him out. Tang Nianhuai stretched his neck to look and even raised his head and smirked at me.

       I don’t know what’s going on, but today’s dummy was a little sweet.

       I gritted my teeth, but I couldn’t help it. I reached out and squeezed his face. Xiao Tang was white and beautiful, and his big eyes were sparkling.

       “Yu’an?” He called me with a look of innocence and dazedness as if he was a hamster was gnawing on the food.

       It was much, too much.

       Damn you, hamster idiot!

       I touched his head and repeatedly struggled with myself in my mind.



       I changed the water for the bellflower in the afternoon. I don’t know how to keep flowers. I asked several friends, and they all said that changing the water a few times a day would be better and it would be best to give the flowers some love.

       I wondered, is this raising flowers or raising people?

       I didn’t even do this to Tang Nianhuai when he was still alive. He left me a bunch of flowers. Do I need to go through all this trouble?

       Why should he let me take care of the flowers he bought himself?

       I was furious at the thought and stared at the wooden box on the coffee table for a moment. I became discouraged.

       Why should I bother with a dead man?

       It was not like he would come alive and apologise to me, and he won’t…continue to love me with care.



       I remember that Tang Nianhuai was very good when he was a child. He treated me politely and respectfully. However, when he saw my father, he was like a mouse to a cat. When he heard a sound in my room, he would dig into the cabinet.

       Later, after a long time, he became more sophisticated, and he was not afraid of anyone except my father. He was actually pretending to be afraid of me. I knew in my heart that he was a bad guy, and he was used to pretending to be pitiful.

       In the summer, if you didn’t let him eat popsicles, he would lie on the sofa and grumble. He would whine that he had a headache for a while and a sore back. When you put a popsicle in his hand, his head won’t hurt, his back won’t be sore, and he will be so full of energy that he can fight 800 fat tigers on the spot.

       I’ve never liked him very much because I know everything about him. I know everything, and I know him even better than he himself.

       I couldn’t walk side by side with such a person. Everything about me was mixed with the trivialities of society and the family’s disputes. I know better than anyone that loving him was not the best thing for me to do, and I had to choose the best.



       When I changed the water today, I accidentally knocked off a green leaf of the bellflower, which fell lightly on the wooden box.

       There was silence.

       I wondered, didn’t he know what kind of person I am?

       How could he not know when he loved me so much?



       I thought about him a lot. I looked at him every day. I was still impulsive at the end.

       He was driving an advertising car, and there was a row on the LED display – Congratulations Comrade Chen Yu’an on the love bento from xiao Tang today! Xiao Tang loves you! ♡

       He couldn’t help rushing downstairs, closing his car door tightly, turning off the monitor, and messing around.

       It made xiao Tang cry and wail.

       I hugged him and couldn’t help saying, “I love you too.”



       I am in love with him.

       Secretary Zhang sees no evil and hears no evil every day and had a very hard time.

       Xiao Tang was happier and more like a dork every day.

       Secretary Zhang continually educated him not to get carried away and to be cautious when engaging in office romance!

       The goofy Tang had a serious face, “I know, Mr Zhang! Comrade Chen and I will definitely remember what you taught us!”

       Mr Zhang nodded with satisfaction.

       I coughed behind them, and Mr Zhang gave me a caring look, “Xiao Chen, what’s the matter?”


       Zhang Xing, I think you have been infected by a fool. What a shame!



       We had three years of a very slimy love life.

       Only three years, that was all.



       Today was the third day I received this bouquet, and today another leaf has fallen.

       It was strange. The flowers hadn’t wilted yet, but the leaves kept falling off. Sometimes I looked at it and always felt like he was crying.

       Falling lightly, like tears.

       He didn’t use to cry a lot either. He used to pout and would act like a spoiled child if he made me angry, act like a spoiled child if he couldn’t eat delicious food, and act like a spoiled child if he felt unhappy. He would stick to you close like a kitten until you touched him with tender lips.

       Later, he still seldom cried, probably because I cared less about him, and I didn’t know if he cried.

       I looked at the leaf, still falling on him5his ashes.

       There was a slightly yellowed and curled-up leaf next to it.

       I felt a little bit in my heart, like a yellowed and rolled-up leaf, cringing in pain.



       He was buying flowers for me when he was hit by a car. I heard he was buying flowers when he came out and saw a child running across the road, and he was hit by a fast-moving car to save the child.

       Nevertheless, he still bought flowers for me.



       In the evening, I asked the restaurant to send a candlelight dinner for two, and I put one next to him.

       “I think I regret a little,” I whispered.

       “I shouldn’t have posted what Moments the day before yesterday, some nonsense about flowers, so what if it’s pretty, so what if the flower language is good, I can’t figure it out.”

       “Do you understand?”

       He didn’t answer.

       I took a sip of wine and said with a smile, “You don’t understand, you are a fvcking idiot, and you are peeking at the great me’s Moments. The big one is deleted, and the small one is added, and you dare to fvcking cheat and say that I’m a customer. I’ll give you a face.”


       I felt just a little sad.

       I just wanted my xiao Tang to act coquettishly again.



       My dad was a rather gentle person. As long as you obeyed his will, he would allow you to do anything.

       If you didn’t obey, he would meddle in everything.



       When I was in a relationship with xiao Tang, our daily life was no different from that in the past, except that we were happier. When xiao Tang was distressed, he would pour out all his troubles with me when I was ranting about my problems, and when he was happy, xiao Tang would rack his brains in celebration.

       Xiao Tang really loved me.

       I once thought of letting xiao Tang warmly celebrate our 60th anniversary, hanging ten banners at the community’s gate and hiring a hundred publicity vehicles to broadcast “Warmly celebrate the 60th anniversary of Mr Chen Yu’an and Mr Tang Nianhuai!”

       …I thought about it now.



       When we broke up, Secretary Zhang had a rare moment of seriousness and said to me, “Xiao Tang is the one I watched go all the way with you. You guys are good at everything, well-matched and in love. He had a miserable life as a child. What the hell are you doing?”

       I didn’t think it was appropriate for Zhang Xing to speak on this issue. It was not his turn to be in charge, and where has Tang Nianhuai gone?

       Later, I learned that this fool was crying in a mess, and he could not stop the tears. He squatted on the rooftop for a long time and was finally pulled away by Zhang Xing. At that time, I watched them walk out of the company. He stretched out his sleeves and wiped away his tears obediently.

       Like a fool, like a hamster, like a kitten.

       And like the love of my life.

       Because from now on, he was no longer my lover.



       I obeyed my dad and went on a blind date with a wealthy daughter. The first one caught my eye, and we got married within a few months.

       My dad was very satisfied with my obedience and obedience. He pulled back all the people around the fool and let him continue to come back to work. He was still my secretary.

       Zhang Xing, this useless thing, actually let xiao Tang climb on top of him to become my personal secretary.

       The food was even dumber than before. He had become silent, his eyes were gloomy and sad, and he was often distracted.

       There was a picture of my wife and me on my desk, and I accidentally knocked it off when I was cleaning the desk and shattered a piece of broken glass on the ground.

       I used this as an excuse to kick him out, so he wouldn’t have to return.

       His eyes suddenly turned red, his lips trembled, and he couldn’t help it, and even his nose was twitching.

       I told him to stop pestering, and he opened his mouth and made a choked sound, “I …… What exactly don’t you like about me?”

       “…” Unfortunately, I can’t answer.

       I still like him no matter what.

       He was terribly sad, the tip of his nose red from crying, and he kept looking at me for an answer. I gritted my teeth, swallowed, and said cruelly, “I’ve never liked you, I’ve never loved you, and you can’t feel it when I play with you? Don’t you always know how bad I am? You insist on telling you so openly. I just don’t I don’t love you! I don’t even like you! Not a single bit!”

       Tang Nianhuai cried really stupidly.

       I couldn’t stand it any longer and dragged him out by the collar.

       He didn’t want to leave, crying and hugging me, I looked at him coldly, “I’m already married, Mr. Tang, if you insist on pestering me, I’ll have to call the police.”



       I blocked and deleted all his contact information and brought Zhang Xing back again. Zhang Xing hesitated to speak every day, and he was coldly ignored by me.

       Until one day someone applied to add my work number, the avatar is a silly Plants vs. Zombies inside the wall of nuts, nosebleed, the name is tomorrow will be better, the signature was: Waiting for my wife to come home.

       I thought this guy couldn’t get any dumber. If he were this stupid, he would live on another planet.

       But still, I accepted it.

       If I had known, I knew later …… I would never have given him any chance to approach me again.



       I posted a message about bellflower in the circle of friends three days ago, but it was actually just some information posted casually.

       Even my wife didn’t care.

       It was just that he cared about everything about me.



       I sometimes wondered how good would it be if people could live as they pleased?

       Xiao Tang was not even my lover when he died.

       As I thought of this, my rolled-up heart fell into the clouds again, like being tortured and wanting to follow the leaves, and fell beside him.

       Stayed with him.



       The bellflower he bought was the most common variety, called echo in English and huíshēng6echo in Chinese.

       Three days ago, I posted a message in my circle of friends, “If love is the wind, then the wind is full of echoes of you and me.”

       These words were worthless, not even chicken soup for soul kind of words. I just saw the flower language of this flower and sighed with emotion.

       If I knew, if I only I knew.

       I’d rather have never had this love, this echo, this bouquet with him.



       All the flowers withered today.

       I guarded this bunch of flowers at home for 20 days and finally waited until the flowering period fell, and the white petals were dyed dark yellow by the wind and air, just like the past with Tang Nianhuai.

       I sat on the sofa and picked him up. I didn’t want any family interest, taking care of the overall situation, or obedience.

       All I want is a scarred person, a crying fool, a wronged hamster, a gentle kitten, and a lover who will always be in love with me.

       No one could hurt him again.

       I couldn’t either.

       Because of me, he has left me.



       There was a greeting card in that bunch of flowers. Xiao Tang did not write a warm celebration today but left an echo of flowers—sincere and unchanging love.



       Warmly celebrate the first bouquet of flowers xiao Tang bought for Mr Chen.



       I closed my eyes. Tang Nianhuai slept in my arms, and we were going to have a good dream together.

       In the dream, Chen Yu’an has been with Tang Nianhuai all the time.

       Always sincere, never change.


       Always loving each other.

Author’s Comment:

About xiao Chen’s wife: There is no love in a marriage out of interest. Everyone is just being cooperative in using the relationship, and the woman also has her own lover. Therefore, the final ending of Gong is actually the best ending for the woman. She can get what she needs, separate from gong in an honourable way, and stay with her lover.