Category: My Crush Picked Up My Diary (Page 2 of 5)

Mai Dong had informed his family of his arrival time, but his mother only reminded him to stay safe on the way and didn’t mention coming to pick him up. Now, standing at the exit of the station, Mai Dong was taken aback.

Yan Xuming was stunned for a moment, watching his boyfriend dart out and embrace a woman from afar after scanning his ID and leaving the station. He understood the situation and didn’t move. Although Mai Dong clearly wasn’t mentally prepared, he was seen, and not greeting would be impolite.

Yan Xuming dragged his luggage, maintaining some distance, and smiled as he greeted, “Hello, Auntie.”

Amidst the hustle and bustle of the station, Mai Dong’s mother hadn’t noticed Yan Xuming. Her mother-son moment was interrupted by the sudden greeting. After a moment, she recognized Yan Xuming. Smiling, she nodded. “Hello. Are you Mai Dong’s classmate? Did you both come back together ya?”

Yan Xuming confirmed, “Yes, it’s quite a coincidence. Mai Dong and I both studied at Nanjing University, so we came back together. I won’t disturb you any longer, Auntie. I’ll head off first.”

Mai Dong’s mother reached out to stop him. “Ai, has someone from your family come to pick you up? Shall I take you home? It’s not easy to get a taxi with so many people. I noticed quite a few people queuing for taxis outside.”

Then, she whispered to Mai Dong, “Why didn’t you say you were with your classmate ya?”

Mai Dong didn’t dare to explain anything.

Yan Xuming waved his hand and lied, “My family is also here to pick me up. They should be outside. I’ll go ahead, Auntie.”

Only then did Mai Dong’s mom nod, “Alright.”

As the two got into the car, Mai Dong’s mother continued to question him, “Is this your high school classmate? I’ve never heard you mention any high school classmates going to Nanjing University with you.”

Mai Dong hugged his backpack tightly, hoping it would provide some sense of security. He answered vaguely, “Um, he’s a senior from high school, not in the same year as me.”

His mother nodded understandingly. “I thought so. I don’t remember any of your classmates going to Nanjing University. Ai, but this person looks somewhat familiar ah. What’s his name?

Mai Dong cleared his throat, feeling guilty. He had a strange feeling that simply mentioning the name would give him away. Licking his lips, he changed the subject, “Is the air conditioning too high? It’s a bit hot.”

His mother didn’t seem l to notice his clumsy attempt to evade the question. She reached to adjust the air conditioning. “I was worried you might feel cold on the ride back, so I turned it up.”

Mai Dong nodded. “Thanks, Mom. It’s warm enough inside the high-speed train.”

His mother returned to the previous topic. “What’s your classmate’s name?”

…

Mai Dong resigned to his fate. “Yan Xuming.”

His mother paused for a long time. “Oh? That name does sound familiar. Wasn’t he the top student from your previous year? I heard he missed being the city’s top scorer by just a few points? Wasn’t it one point?”

Mai Dong quickly corrected, “Four points.”

His mother burst into laughter. “What’s your relationship with him?”

Mai Dong turned his face to look out the car window, his face flushing red, refusing to speak.

As luck would have it, they hit a red light, and the car came to a stop in the traffic. Mai Dong’s mother finally had a moment to glance at him, teasing, “Why is your face so red?”

Mai Dong struggled to find several excuses within a few seconds. “It’s too hot in the car, and the red light is shining on me. It’s normal to blush.”

Mom: “Oh, really?”

Mai Dong: “Of course!”

Mai Dong hadn’t been home in six months. Originally, he had planned to return home during the National Day holiday. However, his determination to go home wasn’t strong. It had only been a month since school started in September, and he hesitated after learning that Yan Xuming would definitely stay at school during National Day. With this hesitation, he failed to grab a ticket home for the National Day holiday.

Later, he planned to go home for the New Year but unexpectedly ended up dating Yan Xuming and serving as a translator for the international debate team. Going home completely slipped his mind. His mom complained that he never seemed to miss home while at school, and she didn’t understand why he didn’t visit more often since the elders of the family always missed him.

For the first time, Mai Dong felt guilty because he truly hadn’t thought much about home in the past six months. He was too happy at school, with no spare mental space to think about home. Feeling guilty, he ate voraciously at the dinner table.

His parents whispered to each other, while his grandfather held a small wine glass, probably more interested in asking about his grandson’s love life. “Any news from our Mai-zi lately ah? Campus romance is wonderful. You’re already in your sophomore year; you shouldn’t just focus on studying all the time ah. How about dating?”

Mai Dong almost choked on his roasted duck roll. He quickly swallowed and replied, “No, no ah. I’m not dating.”

His grandfather squinted at him. “How can you be like this? You get shy at the mention of love. You’re nothing like me at all ah. Do you know how I pursued your grandmother¹This was his paternal grandmother, while his other grandmother was his maternal. Thanks for pointing it out in the comments! Sorry it got you all confused, I went ahead to double check it in the raws. I forgot to add in a Translator’s note on this one. back then?”

Mai Dong had heard the story of how his grandfather courted his grandmother countless times. He always talked about it with great interest and pleasure. Apparently, in high school, his grandmother was an excellent student while his grandfather was a punk. Despite his grandmother’s initial disdain, his grandfather publicly presented her with a bouquet of wildflowers gathered from the roadside.

Whether this story was true or not was anyone’s guess. Mai Dong’s grandmother had passed away long ago, and he didn’t even have memories of her.

Grandpa was just telling the story of how the principal was furious and ordered him to stay away from school for a few days to reflect at home when Mai Dong’s phone discreetly vibrated. He took it out and saw a message from Yan Xuming.

Yan Xuming: “Having dinner?”

Mai-zi: “En!”

Yan Xuming: “At home or at a restaurant?”

Mai-zi: “At Xianghe Court. My dad is friends with the owner.”

Yan Xuming: “Got it, rich second generation.”

Mai-zi: “And you?”

Yan Xuming: “Also outside, hot pot.”

Mai-zi: “My grandpa is telling us how he chased my grandma.”

Yan Xuming: “Can I listen?”

Mai-zi: “Huh? How can you listen?”

Mai Dong hadn’t even processed it yet when Yan Xuming’s call came through. He hastily answered and discreetly placed the phone on the table, letting the receiver capture the fervent voice of his grandfather.

“I know you young folks nowadays have a term called ‘Puxin Man’,²普信男 Puxin man – men that are overly confident over nothing. This refers to men who are mysteriously confident over their ability or attractiveness. It could also refer to a scenario which men would ask women for a date or mistake women’s friendliness as a message of date invitation, while from women’s perspective, this is ridiculous. right? Let me tell you, we didn’t have such a term back in our day. Honestly, now that your grandma is no longer with us, I often reflect on myself. Times have changed, and the women of today are different from those of the past. If it were today, I would be considered a ‘Puxin Man’. If someone didn’t like me, I would still publicly send her flowers. Nowadays, I’d probably get criticized online for such behavior, but back then, it was just how things were, and everyone cheered me on until she agreed to be with me.

“So I often wonder, ah, did she actually not like me back then and was forced to marry me? She’s probably secretly relieved now, finally drawing a clear line with this old rascal.

“You know, if your grandma, such a strong-willed person, could have lived into this new era, she would have definitely accomplished remarkable things. I’m definitely not as good as her. It’s a pity she left us early, didn’t do anything in her life, just became my wife.”

Mai Dong listened in astonishment, never expecting his grandfather to say such things today.

He used to boast about how he wooed his grandmother, always emphasizing how captivating he was. Unexpectedly, Yan Xuming overheard and his grandfather began reflecting on himself. Mai Dong wasn’t used to hearing his grandfather speak like this, recalling what his father told him about their strong bond. Mai Dong had seen the video of his grandmother’s wedding, her eyes filled with happiness.

But his grandfather’s words were true; many women swept up by the tides of the times were as capable as men, but unfortunately, they had no room to flourish, even now.

Love always seems to leave something lacking. As his grandfather grew older, he missed his departed loved one more than ever.

Mai Dong clenched his phone, making an excuse to slip out of the room quietly. He hid in a corner of the lobby, whispering to Yan Xuming.

Speaking into his phone, his voice somewhat subdued: “Hello, are you still listening?”

The response came quickly from the other end: “En, did he used to say things like this too? I thought it was just showing off love, wanting to learn a thing or two from Grandpa, but I didn’t expect to hear his privacy.”

Mai Dong shook his head, then realized Yan Xuming couldn’t see him and quickly replied, “No, it wasn’t like this before. I didn’t expect him to say something like this today.”

Yan Xuming asked, “What kind of person is grandma?”

Mai Dong indeed couldn’t remember much; his grandmother probably passed away when he was around one or two years old.

But from what his parents told him, his grandfather became very different. In his grandfather’s era, families who were involved in the arts were not common. His grandfather had many flaws in his character, being lofty-minded but lacking practical skills. He always thought of himself as a great artist and refused to be down-to-earth. It was only after his grandmother’s death that he seemed to change. He would lock himself in his studio every day, avoiding social interactions, and tirelessly chisel away at stones and plaster.

Mai Dong couldn’t think of anything to say about his grandmother. He remained silent for a while, and Yan Xuming smoothly shifted the conversation.

He said, “Alright, let’s not discuss this anymore. Did you enjoy dinner?”

Only then did Mai Dong nod his head, “En, everyone from my family was there.”

Yan Xuming paused for a moment, then continued, “Everyone in my family was there too. My uncle asked me if I was dating anyone, told me not to focus solely on studying, and that it was time for some campus romance.”

Mai Dong was surprised, not expecting both parents to say the exact same thing. He was nervous yet hopeful, “So, what did you say?”

Yan Xuming chuckled, “Just tell the truth, is there any need to lie?”

Mai Dong immediately felt guilty and replied, “Uh… no need.”

Yan Xuming realized, “It seems that you lied.”

Mai Dong was about to explain when someone suddenly tapped his shoulder.

Startled, he instinctively covered his phone and turned around to see his mother standing behind him with a smile. He didn’t dare to greet Yan Xuming, hurriedly hung up the phone, and stuttered, “Um, Mom, why did you come out?”

For many college students, finals week is a period of pain and darkness, with endless key points to memorize and final assignments to complete. But for Mai Dong, it was like carrying a few pink bubbles.

As finals week officially began, Yan Xuming temporarily put aside his internship and student union duties.

The two of them agreed to meet at the library, where they spent almost all their time together except for sleeping at night. Although their majors were completely unrelated, they sat together harmoniously. One focused diligently on typing on their laptop keyboard, while the other silently memorized key points from their textbooks. To outsiders, they appeared like strangers sharing a table, rarely exchanging words.

Most of the time, it was Yan Xuming who noticed when it was time to eat. Mai Dong would still be studying, only to see a finger tapping on the table in front of him. Turning around, Mai Dong saw Yan Xuming silently mouthing, “Food?”

They usually ate at the East 2 Cafeteria, the closest one to the library.

Yan Xuming had mentioned in his diary that they had eaten the fried sauce noodles together several times before, and it was indeed delicious. Many people at school still knew Yan Xuming, and someone would always come to say hello during meals.

As time passed, some people became more familiar. At first, they didn’t dare to joke with Mai Dong. Now, some would call Yan Xuming “Yan Ge” and then jokingly refer to Mai Dong as “sister-in-law.”

Mai Dong knew they were joking, so he tried to remain calm. Now, he could respond with a straight face.

After finishing their meal, they remained seated in the cafeteria. After lunch, Mai Dong would read the daily report diary written by his boyfriend from the previous night.

The significance of these recent report diaries was minimal, as the two of them were glued together every day. Nevertheless, Yan Xuming continued to write, and Mai Dong continued to read.

January 6, 2024. Cloudy

Reporting every day and writing a diary every night seems to have become a habit for me. It’s not suitable to write this in the dormitory, with the strange background noise. Let me quote two segments for you: “Yan Ge, reporting in again,” “Yan Ge, today is another day of being controlled by the wife ah.”

What do you think, Xiao Mai? Reporting every day does make me seem like a henpecked husband, doesn’t it?

Our alarms go off at the same time in the morning, 7:30. We had breakfast together at the cafeteria, eating spinach dumplings. We studied together at the library in the morning. We didn’t go to the cafeteria for lunch; we had a barbecue outside the school together. We spent the afternoon in the library as well. In the evening, we had a vegetarian hotpot in the cafeteria together, because you said you needed to eat more vegetables.

There’s never been a day when I’ve felt so lacking in literary cultivation; wouldn’t you really get bored reading it?

Just to clarify, I’m only worried that you might find it boring. I have no intention of not writing.

Alright, goodnight then. I really like you today.

The recent report diaries have been quite brief, and the content is all stuff Mai Dong already knows, but he doesn’t find it boring. After satisfyingly finishing reading, he hands the diary back and asks, “When is your last exam?”

Yan Xuming thought for a moment. “It seems to be next Tuesday. I finished quite early. We don’t have too many classes this semester, and two of them aren’t written exams; we’ve already finished and submitted the assignments.”

Mai Dong responds with a simple “Oh.” Then he adds, “I won’t be leaving until Thursday, two days later than you.”

Yan Xuming didn’t care much, “I’ll wait for you.”

Mai Dong quickly shakes his head. “No need, no need, really. Who goes on vacation and doesn’t want to hurry home?

Yan Xuming looked at him. “Are you sure?”

Mai Dong nodded.

Indeed, some majors have fewer contents in their final exams compared to others. It’s more cost-effective to consider vacation time alone, so they usually buy tickets home first.

Mai Dong hadn’t felt envious before; whether going home early or late, what difference did it make?

This year, his mindset was slightly different. When he said “it’s okay” in the cafeteria, he truly believed it was okay. But when the day actually arrived, Mai Dong even had trouble sleeping the night before.

Tomorrow, Yan Xuming will be done with his last exam. His exam is at 8 a.m., so if all goes well, he can buy a ticket home by noon.

In fact, Mai Dong regrets it a bit because they both live in the same city ya! And they even live close to each other. In this situation, it would make sense for them to go home together!

But the words were already spoken, and Mai Dong didn’t want to take them back. Besides, everyone does want to go home early.

The next day Mai Dong also had an exam, but it was scheduled in the afternoon.

In the morning, his roommates are cramming last-minute study sessions, but Mai Dong can’t seem to focus on his textbooks at all. He occasionally checks the time on his phone, wondering if Yan Xuming will finish his exam early. They planned to go out for lunch together at noon, and Mai Dong’s plan is to drop Yan Xuming off at the station after they ate.

There should be enough time, and Mai Dong doesn’t like last-minute cramming anyway. As long as he can make it back in time for the exam, it’s fine.

He asked Yan Xuming what time his train ticket was for, but Yan Xuming only said noon.

The exam started at nine o’clock, and by ten, Yan Xuming sent a message on WeChat saying he had finished early. Mai Dong quickly changed clothes and went downstairs. When he reached the ground floor, he saw Yan Xuming waiting there already.

He stood alone, without even a backpack.

Mai Dong asked, “Do you want to go back to pack your luggage first? Can’t you just leave after lunch?”

Yan Xuming replied, “I haven’t bought a ticket. I’ll stay with you for two days and we’ll go back together after your exam.”

Mai Dong was stunned for a moment. He had felt cold when he had just come out of the dormitory, but now a warm feeling surged in his heart, and it took him a while to nod and say, “Okay!”

For xueba’s, finals week is often quite smooth, sometimes even more relaxed than usual. Normally, there’s studying, preparing, and homework to do, but during finals week, it’s just a matter of attending an exam and completing one paper.

When Mai Dong took his last exam, the weather was bad, with a mix of rain and snow. The flakes fell, but upon landing on clothes, they quickly melted into water stains.

Thinking it was snowing, Mai Dong hadn’t brought an umbrella. As he left the exam room, he saw Yan Xuming waiting outside, holding an umbrella.

“Awesome ah, really awesome. Mai-zi have someone to pick you up. Unlike us, we have to carry our backpacks home in the rain!” Du Chuan’s teasing voice came from behind. Mai Dong cleared his throat, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Alright, go on then. Don’t keep people waiting. He’s been waiting for you for two days after all,” Wu Zimo said, gently nudging Mai Dong.

Mai Dong took a few steps and successfully navigated through the crowd and rain and snow to reach under Yan Xuming’s umbrella.

With his backpack hugged to his chest, he looked up and smiled at Yan Xuming. “Did you specifically come to pick me up?”

Yan Xuming asked in return, “What do you think?”

Mai Dong was silent for a few seconds. “Why do you always answer my questions with another question? I obviously asked the question first. Can’t you just give a direct answer?”

Yan Xuming laughed. “Because your questions aren’t good. Next time, make them affirmative.”

Feeling sweet inside but not saying it aloud, Mai Dong replied, “You ask for so much ya.”

Yan Xueming answered, “Mn, can’t I have requirements?”

Mai Dong silently nodded. “You can.”

Yan Xuming asked again, “What about you?”

Mai Dong looked at him. “What?”

Yan Xuming asked, “What are your requirements?”

The two of them were still standing under the tree in front of the teaching building. Mai Dong hadn’t finished his exam early this time, so it was the end of the exam period. There was a lot of foot traffic in front of the teaching building, and they stood out. Mai Dong was aware that many eyes were on them. He didn’t feel nervous, just a bit shy. Gathering courage, he spoke up, clutching his backpack, “Shall we celebrate our winter break?”

Yan Xuming looked into his eyes. “How should we celebrate?”

Mai Dong took a deep breath, unconsciously standing up straighter. “Kiss me.”

Yan Xuming was obviously a bit surprised, “Here?”

Mai Dong nodded, “Not good…”

He didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence.

Yan Xuming tilted the umbrella slightly downward. Mai Dong wasn’t sure if the large black umbrella completely shielded them from view. The next moment, he felt a warm sensation as lips touched his own. The surroundings were damp and cold, and noisy. Mai Dong could even feel a faint ache in his ears from the cold air moments ago. But now, his ears burned red, as if miraculously relieving the dull pain.

For a moment, Mai Dong felt an inexplicable surge of courage when he made the request. The reason was unclear.

Perhaps it was because Yan Xuming had finished his exams but insisted on waiting for him to go home together. Perhaps it was because of the diary addressed to “you.” Perhaps it was because Yan Xuming standing here under the black umbrella was incredibly enticing. Or perhaps it was because he remembered this as the condition for getting through the trial.

Now feeling it was going too far, he hurriedly tried to push away, but a hand gripped his neck firmly.

Mai Dong immediately became obedient, understanding why many small animals wouldn’t dare to move when gripped by the neck. His mouth and movements were restricted, leaving him standing there stiffly.

Although his gaze was free when he looked up, he saw Yan Xuming had tilted the umbrella, and he was covered in cold, wet snow.

“Regretting your own request?” someone murmured against his lips.

Mai Dong took a deep, trembling breath. “I… don’t regret it.”

Mai Dong had no concept of how long the kiss lasted. When Yan Xuming pulled back, Mai Dong immediately grabbed the umbrella handle, pulling it down forcefully to cover himself more securely.

Yan Xuming was significantly taller than him, so when the umbrella suddenly dropped, he was poked in the head by its tip. He let out a resigned laugh. “Now you’re shy?”

Mai Dong silently lifted the umbrella slightly. “I’m not shy.”

Their train tickets were for three in the afternoon. They both went back to pack their luggage. The journey was an hour and a half, and it wasn’t easy to get tickets for this time, so their seats weren’t together.

When they arrived home, Mai Dong saw his boyfriend waiting at the staircase landing. They didn’t exchange many words and followed the crowd out of the station.

Mai Dong spotted his mother waiting at the door before their identity cards were even scanned to exit.

He froze, subconsciously creating some distance between himself and Yan Xuming.

Before, Mai Dong didn’t know what he would become when he got drunk, but now he does.

After vomiting, he seemed much sober. He leaned against the wall of the restroom, barely conscious, but still remembered the topic from earlier. He looked pitiful, like a pet abandoned by its owner, “But I want to be your good friend.”

Most people couldn’t understand his train of thought, but fortunately, Yan Xuming was patient, “You want to be my good friend?”

Mai Dong nodded his head, “En!”

Yan Xuming asked again, “Can’t I be a boyfriend?”

Mai Dong felt like crying again, “I thought being a boyfriend meant having an intimate relationship, but now I realize it’s not like that. Your friends have a closer relationship with you than I do. They know what time you go to sleep, where you intern, which teacher you have meals with, and whether you’re paying attention or goofing off in class.”

Yan Xuming leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips, “You can also know all of that. Do you want to?”

Mai Dong looked at him eagerly, “Want.”

Yan Xuming teased him, “But I don’t pick up drunk friends back to the dorm, I don’t hold hands with friends, and I definitely don’t kiss friends. So, do you want to be my boyfriend or just a friend?”

Mai Dong was deeply conflicted.

How should intimacy be defined? On one hand, physical contact is certainly intimate; but on the other hand, emotional intimacy is also a form of intimacy. If he had to choose one, Mai Dong didn’t know how to decide. He agonized over this question, feeling lost and hanging his head in despair.

Finally, he made a decision, “I want to hold hands.” Then he added, “And you’re not allowed to read my diary anymore.”

Yan Xuming let out an “en“. “Why?”

Mai Dong showed a different kind of stubbornness: “Anyway, you’re not allowed to read it. Why should you always know what I’m thinking?”

Mai Dong’s memory was very small.

The next morning, he woke up with a splitting headache, only remembering that he had vomited profusely over the sink last night. The physical pain made this memory particularly vivid as if someone had been patiently patting his back.

Mai Dong had never drunk alcohol before in his life.

The last time he drank was during Christmas, at his own mulled wine stall. He had to taste it, of course. He only drank half a cup, worried it wouldn’t be enough to sell. Then came this time, when he didn’t actually drink much either, just two bottles of beer.

When he was a child, he used to go to dinners with his dad, where the men would drink heavily, take a break when they drank too much, and then return with renewed vigor.

He never imagined someone could get drunk from just two bottles of beer.

It was the third day of the New Year holiday, and all the members of the dormitory were present.

Mai Dong slept until eleven o’clock. His roommates were discussing going out for a hotpot at noon. Since winter began, they hadn’t had a meal together. Hearing Mai Dong stir, Du Chuan called out to him, “You’re up ah. Hotpot for lunch?”

Mai Dong tried to speak, but the hoarse sound that came out of his throat startled even himself. He pulled back the curtain, “Um… cough, cough, how about next week? Or you guys go ahead first, I don’t think I can eat much.”

Du Chuan grinned at him, “How much did you drink yesterday? Your boyfriend had to carry you back.”

Feeling guilty, Mai Dong replied, “I didn’t know it would end up like that. I just had two bottles…”

His roommates teased him, “With your tolerance, maybe you shouldn’t drink anymore.”

They wanted to eat hotpot, so the three of them left Mai Dong behind and went ahead.

On the table were hangover remedies and throat lozenges, which he heard Yan Xuming had brought over last night.

Mai Dong sat at the table, holding his head due to the headache, obediently taking the medicine and lozenges. He had emptied his stomach last night, woke up hungry with a stomach ache, and was browsing his phone for food delivery when Yan Xuming called.

He asked if Mai Dong had gotten up, mentioning it was the last day of the holiday and inquiring about his plans.

With all these questions, Mai Dong’s ideal plan, of course, would have been to go on a date with Yan Xuming. Unfortunately, feeling unwell, he wasn’t sure how to phrase it. After hesitating for a moment, he said, “I… I’ll stay in the dorm today ba? Are you busy today?”

Yan Xuming seemed to be clicking on his mouse, his clear voice coming through the speaker into Mai Dong’s ears, “Come to my dormitory to play?”

This was Mai Dong’s first time in Yan Xuming’s dormitory. Even though Yan Xuming had said there was no one in the dorm, Mai Dong still felt somewhat restrained when entering.

The dormitories in the school were divided into new and old buildings. This year’s freshmen were lucky to live in the new building, while Mai Dong and Yan Xuming were in the old one.

The conditions were more or less the same, there was no elevator.

Yan Xuming lived on the third floor, and Mai Dong was slightly out of breath when he stood at his dormitory door, probably from climbing the stairs in a nervous state.

He didn’t immediately push the door open, instead, he stood at the doorway, racking his brain trying to remember what happened last night.

Did he do anything out of line last night? Much less did anything embarrassing? His mind was blank, genuinely unable to recall anything, so he resignedly pushed open the dormitory door.

The layout of both their dormitories was almost identical, with four beds and desks, and at the end of the room was the toilet and bathroom. There was also a separate small balcony outside.

Yan Xuming’s eyes didn’t leave the computer screen, “Still have a headache?”

Mai Dong hurriedly replied, “A little, but I took some medicine. It should get better soon. Um, thanks for last night…”

Yan Xuming made a noncommittal “Oh,” seemingly implying something, “Feeling so distant after getting drunk?”

Mai Dong shook his head, “No, it’s not that. I just can’t remember what happened. It’s a bit…”

Yan Xuming chuckled, “Feeling guilty?”

Mai Dong responded gloomily, “Um.”

Yan Xuming raised his hand and produced a bag from somewhere, “Hot porridge, just arrived not long ago. Have you eaten anything?”

Mai Dong took the bag and before he could say thank you, Yan Xuming handed him something else.

This time, Mai Dong was really puzzled. He didn’t immediately take it, but asked, “What’s wrong?”

Finally, Yan Xuming turned his head to look at him, “Didn’t you say it yourself? That I’m not allowed to read your diary anymore.”

With the reminder, Mai Dong still couldn’t recall. He didn’t know in what context or tone he had said those words. He hastily explained, “I-I didn’t, did I? Did I say something out of line? Are you angry?”

Yan Xuming stared at him, “Do you think I’m angry?”

Mai Dong nodded, “So you are.”

Yan Xuming asked, “Then what should we do?”

Mai Dong shook his head.

A smile crept onto Yan Xuming’s lips, indicating that he had intentionally teased Mai Dong just now. He handed Mai Dong his diary back and picked up another notebook from the table, “I’m just teasing you. Here’s your diary back, and here’s something else for you.”

“What is it?” Mai Dong asked curiously as he flipped it open.

“Diary.” Yan Xuming said.

January 2, 2024. Sunny

Firstly, I want to record what time I got up today and what I ate.

Because I was busy preparing internship materials, I set my alarm for 8 o’clock last night. The weather was too cold, so I snoozed for five minutes. My precise wake-up time was 8:06. I didn’t feel like going to the cafeteria in the morning, so I bought two vegetable buns and a cup of millet porridge from the supermarket.

The morning was spent in the library doing homework and research, which was relatively dull. I knew you were busy with the debate competition, so I didn’t message you. I deeply regret that; I was wrong.

At noon, I went alone to the East 2 Cafeteria, which is closest to the library. I had chicken noodle soup. I arrived late, so there weren’t many choices, but the chicken noodle soup at East 2 wasn’t good at all. Consider this a warning. Incidentally, I think you also often go to East 2. They’ve opened a window selling fried noodles, which I heard taste good. We should go together sometime when we have a chance.

Now, let me give you specific details about my internship.

A senior student from our major’s teacher has opened a studio and needs a front-end, which is not a traditional internship.

He asked if I was interested in joining their studio. I didn’t agree because preparing for the graduate school entrance exam is still more important, but they seem very keen on having me join. Although I haven’t agreed to join, I might still help out with the internship.

The dinner came out of the blue. A teacher hosted a gathering and invited me and his senior student to chat. I knew you were going to attend the celebration dinner tonight, and I originally wanted to go with you, but I couldn’t refuse this invitation.

I forgot to bring my phone charger to the library, and my phone unexpectedly died. I won’t make excuses; it was my fault. I deeply reflect on this once again.

Is the report detailed enough? Boyfriend.

End of report, let’s move on to the explanation.

Regarding a certain drunk classmate who cried and asked to be my friend instead of my boyfriend. Do you think that friendship is more important to me? If you truly believe so, I don’t mind taking action to change this mistaken belief.

Mai Dong, friends can be anyone, but a boyfriend can only be you. You’re intelligent enough to understand the difference. I tell my friends many things that I don’t tell you, not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t always be by your side. If I could, I would want that.

Furthermore, I need to add one more thing. Making friends isn’t difficult; friends are essential in life. I’ll control the degree and frequency of my jealousy, and you should have your own good friends too. To avoid any misunderstandings, what I mean is not for you to spend all your time and energy on me, but to become a fuller version of yourself. That’s how I see you.

What else needs to be written in the diary?

After flipping through your diary for reference, there was one final sentence.

Today, I miss you a lot, and likewise, today, I really like you.

Mai Dong sat quietly, initially not understanding what it was. It took him a few lines to realize. With less than a thousand words, Mai Dong chewed over it repeatedly for over ten minutes, wishing he could dissect it word by word, reluctant to finish it all at once.

He never expected Yan Xuming to write a diary, let alone one clearly intended for him to read. After reading the last line, Mai Dong carefully closed the diary, tucked it into his own embrace, and asked, “Can I have this?”

Yan Xuming was a bit helpless, “Of course, but if I give it to you, how will I write in it from now on?”

Mai Dong was surprised, “Will you write it in the future as well?”

Yan Xuming asked, “Do you want to read it?”

Mai Dong nodded vigorously, “Of course I do!” So he handed the diary back, and Yan Xuming exchanged it for the porridge. It was still warm when it was served, but now it had cooled down considerably.

As he took a sip, the warm phone in his pocket matched the lukewarm temperature perfectly. It was vegetable and egg porridge, not sweet at all, yet it tasted pleasantly sweet in his mouth.

New Year’s Day has arrived, jumping suddenly from 2023 to 2024, the rapid passage of time was almost too much to grasp. Tomorrow was the day of the international debate team competition, and today was the first day of the New Year holiday. Mai Dong was summoned to the activity room to help everyone organize the set of materials one last time.

Members of the debate team were nervously rehearsing their scripts, while Mai Dong idled away, laying out his diary on the desk. The furry texture of the diary felt comforting, even in winter, the touch of the pages no longer icy when flipped open.

January 1, 2024. Clear

The weather has been very cold these past few days, with snowfall, which is quite rare in the south. However, it’s been warming up since yesterday, and the winter in the south is truly unpredictable.

Writing down today’s date, there was a moment of being stunned. Having written 2023 for a whole year, then suddenly needing to change it to 2024 felt unfamiliar. Although I’m aware that today is New Year’s Day, having exchanged New Year’s greetings with him yesterday, it still takes time to fully grasp that it’s already 2024.

There’s a strong feeling that this year will definitely go smoothly. I rarely reflect on whether my life is going smoothly or not, but this year is different.

Alright, there’s quite a jumble of thoughts here, but the most important thing I want to know is what he’s doing now. These days he’s very busy, so I’m always hesitant to message him too often. He’s busier than I am, with responsibilities in the student union, managing his studies, and dealing with many other trivial matters.

I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I don’t know how much of a presence a boyfriend should have in someone’s life. So, what’s the appropriate proportion? I really want to ask him what he’s doing now, and I’m curious about what he had for dinner tonight, but would asking these questions be too boring? Yet, I feel like it’s not good to overthink things. Just a few days ago, I was happy that we were getting closer, but now I’m already feeling dissatisfied.

Dissatisfaction was a great enemy.

Mai Dong’s diary today was quite fragmented, with unrelated sentences scattered all over. The central idea was that he really missed Yan Xuming.

Since New Year’s Day had arrived, it meant that winter vacation was also not far off. After winter vacation, Yan Xuming would be entering the second semester of his third year, where he would start his internship.

Recently, there was a very good internship opportunity, and Yan Xuming was preparing the necessary documents.

While halfway through writing in his diary, the head of the debate team handed Mai Dong an invitation to a competition.

Mai Dong wasn’t actually participating in this debate competition; he was just brought in as a foreign aid translator. Naturally, he would receive an invitation to watch the competition, so he took the initiative to ask for two tickets, intending to invite Yan Xuming to go with him.

Finally having an excuse to chat with Yan Xuming, Mai Dong sent a message, mentioning that the invitation letter was on its way. However, he didn’t expect Yan Xuming to decline the invitation.

Mai Dong went to watch the competition alone, and the competition went quite smoothly.

Mai Dong, however, was somewhat absent-minded, frequently glancing at his phone. After the competition, there was the customary celebration banquet. Li Shengnan had been getting particularly close to Mai Dong recently and asked if he wanted to invite his boyfriend along.

Initially, Mai Dong hadn’t planned on inviting Yan Xuming. Knowing that Yan Xuming was really busy, he hesitated while holding his phone. Then he couldn’t resist sending him a message, asking if he wanted to join the debate team’s celebration dinner that evening.

After sending the message, he waited for over ten minutes but received no response.

Unable to hide his slight disappointment, Mai Dong told Li Shengnan, “Forget it, it’s fine to go by myself.”

Although Mai Dong was praised as a hero this time, there was a suspicion of flattery in calling him a hero. After all, Mai Dong was essentially an outsider to the debate team. It was reasonable to compliment him for helping them so much as an outsider.

At the dinner table, Yan Xuming’s name was frequently brought up. Mai Dong understood this easily because he was a person with little to talk about, and the only topic he had was Yan Xuming. Mai Dong didn’t mind this situation; on the contrary, he should have been happy about it.

But now he found it difficult to cheer up, even surprising himself with his pettiness. Yan Xuming had sent him a message at six o’clock, saying he was having dinner with his teacher unexpectedly, that he hadn’t planned for it, and his phone had run out of battery suddenly. He had just borrowed a power bank.

It was such a trivial matter, yet Mai Dong found himself feeling unhappy about it.

Li Shengnan handed him a bottle of beer, winked at him, and whispered in German, “Mai, there are no worries in the world of beer.”

Li Shengnan herself had probably had quite a few drinks already; her face was flushed, and she seemed excited, speaking faster than usual. “You know what? I hate my parents. They never express love to each other. Maybe many Germans are like that. Sometimes I even doubt my lineage. I must have been born in France!” She laughed with an arched eyebrow. “If keeping their mouths shut brings them happiness, they’re welcome to it. But I believe everyone needs affirmation and shown love. What do you think?”

Mai Dong felt that she was right. Everyone needs to be affirmed and loved, regardless of personality or anything else.

He chugged half a bottle of beer in one go, drinking too quickly. His face flushed instantly, and it felt like his brain was being squeezed by a heavy hand. This gulp left Mai Dong thrilled in place. After the initial rush of excitement came a long period of dizziness. He quietly continued to drink, quickly becoming dizzy himself.

Mai Dong felt remarkably sober.

He could see Li Shengnan in front of him, with her brown hair and emerald eyes. Foreign features were so different from Chinese ones that staring at her for too long made Mai Dong’s eyes blur. He waved his hand, gesturing for Li Shengnan to move aside, and leaned on the table, thinking about Yan Xuming.

Hmm, Yan Xuming’s features were even more attractive. His nose was straight, his lips thin, and his eyelashes long. The drunk xeuba had lost his profound literary background, and a string of elementary school-style sentences ran through his mind. Suddenly, he sniffled.

Tears were about to fall, but Mai Dong didn’t know why he was crying.

But Yan Xuming was already his boyfriend. Mai Dong knew this. Yan Xuming was already his boyfriend, and whenever they were together, people would tease them.

They were in a relationship, not only did Mai Dong know, but the whole school knew, yet Mai Dong still felt a sense of distance from Yan Xuming’s life.

But he couldn’t understand it. In the first few days of their relationship, he felt like he had suddenly gotten much closer to Yan Xuming’s life.

Yes, Mai Dong felt aggrieved by this.

He regretted being too timid in the past, not daring to run for the school student union; he regretted having too many concerns, and not greeting Yan Xuming during that high school sports meeting. Otherwise, things wouldn’t be like this now. How should he put it?

In Mai Dong’s heart, two people should be friends first, then lovers.

But Mai Dong and Yan Xuming skipped the friendship step and went straight from being strangers to being a couple. Even though there were many sweet moments, there were even more moments of unfamiliarity. Moreover, his diary had been read clean by Yan Xuming, which was completely unfair.

Yan Xuming knew exactly what he was thinking, what he used to think, and what he would think in the future, while he had no clue about Yan Xuming’s thoughts.

He, of course, believes that Yan Xuming likes him.

But Mai Dong didn’t understand what it meant to like someone; he didn’t know how long the expiration date of liking someone was.

Mai Dong still felt remarkably clear-headed. He heard the head of the debate team calling Yan Xuming. The proof of his clarity was when he immediately stood up, his arms crossed, and shouted, “You! You’re not allowed to call him. He’s busy. He doesn’t even reply to my messages. Don’t bother him!”

Mai Dong was jolted awake. He felt like throwing up, feeling nauseous already. It felt like he was sitting on a small, rickety boat, with the waves swaying beneath him, rocking back and forth. He fought the urge to vomit, and when he opened his eyes, he found himself on someone’s back, alone.

His breath reeked of alcohol as he opened his mouth wide, struggling to speak clearly, “Yan Xuming.”

The boat carrying him replied, “En, it’s me.”

Mai Dong felt a bit aggrieved, “Weren’t you having dinner outside?”

The boat responded, “I received a call saying my family’s Mai Dong drank too much and asked me to take you back.”

Mai Dong couldn’t believe it, “So you came just because of that?”

Mai Dong felt multiple images swirling before his eyes. He looked up, and the light from the streetlamp cast overlapping shadows, creating a mesmerizing sight. But staring at it for too long made him feel nauseous. Aiya, he felt so uncomfortable. The physical discomfort combined with the emotional distress made Mai Dong bury his head into the person’s neck, listening to their reply.

“Otherwise? Who else will pick you up besides me?”

“I can walk back by myself.”

“You’re that capable?”

“Of course, I’m the all-powerful Mai Dong.”

“En, you’re the all-powerful Mai Dong.”

“I’m very unhappy, Yan Xuming.”

“En, tell me about it?”

“I wish I had known you so much earlier. I wanted to be your good friend, and I also wanted to be that kind of friend who could come over and tease you after seeing you in the cafeteria. I think your relationship with them is very good.”

“…Are you jealous of something?”

“No, I… burp… uh, I’m not jealous.”

“Mai Dong, you’re not going to vomit on me, are you?”

“Uh… maybe you should put me down. I feel like… I’m going to vomit.”

“Forget it, can you stand if I put you down? And if you vomit, don’t aim for my neck, lean to the side.”

“No, I might vomit on you.”

“Aren’t you a rich second generation? Is it difficult to buy me a new set?”

“Are you with me because of my money?”

“… Um, how about it, do you want to dump me?”

“No, it’s okay, my family has a lot of money anyway.”

Yan Xuming had a headache listening to this. He didn’t know if Mai Dong really meant what he said or if he was just talking nonsense because he was drunk.

Finally, he managed to carry Mai Dong to the dormitory door. Considering there was no elevator in the dormitory building, he realized that carrying him upstairs might result in him vomiting along the way. So, he decided to take him directly to the bathroom on the ground floor.

Mai Dong really endured the journey, then knelt by the sink and vomited vigorously for over ten minutes.

Yan Xuming had returned from the vending machine outside with tissues and water. This person was still vomiting.

Or rather, he was vomiting and crying at the same time, tears rolling down his cheeks. It pained Yan Xuming to see him like this.

He gently patted his back, using words usually reserved for comforting children, “There, there, take it easy. What’s the matter? Why are you so upset that you’re making yourself sick? It’s okay, slow down, take it easy.”

---

Jie Jie: Let me know if there are any typos/errors, I’m only using my phone these days because my laptop broke :blobnomcookie:

December 24, 2023. Snow

Happy first snow.

Today, there were Christmas trees, the first snow, wish cards, and people who made wishes come true. It was the first day of transitioning from my trial, the first day of being in love. Being in love with him, writing this sentence brings a surreal sense of happiness. Sitting here, I occasionally worry that everything I experienced tonight might just be a dream.

Did he really take my wish card? Did he really hum “Fly Me To The Moon” softly in my ear? Did he really sing “My Only One” for me? Really, really, of course, it’s true!

Suddenly, I really want to go back in time. I always thought my life had no regrets, or even if there were real regrets, I didn’t care. Now I realize I regret not having the courage to get to know him in high school. Although it’s not too late now, he’s 22 years old, not entirely an adult, right? Sometimes he still shows a childish side, doesn’t he?

I really like today, I really like today.¹I had to double-check if I was tripping or if it was stated twice. I’m pretty sure there was another case in this chapter too. So, you guys won’t get confused. I want to declare December 24, 2023 as the most important day in Mai Dong’s life, the happiest day, the most blissful day! I really like everything about today. From now on, all Christmases, Christmas trees, snow, and moons will become elements of my happiness!

I really like him, I’m happy and in love.

Yan Xuming is in a relationship. The speed at which this news spreads is beyond everyone’s imagination.

When Yan Xuming returned to the dormitory that night, as soon as he entered, he noticed that something was off with the atmosphere. He hadn’t realized it yet. As he took a few steps into the dormitory, the quiet space suddenly filled with a familiar BGM.

Yan Xuming was stunned, then chuckled and muttered a curse word under his breath. This intro was all too familiar; he had sung this song on the field just half an hour ago.

The two roommates sang incomprehensible English in a mournful voice while staring at their phones. Midway through, one of them suddenly rushed to the balcony as if struck by illness, shouting at the increasingly heavy snow outside, “Classmate Yang Yang, happy first snow!”

The boy called Yang Yang blushed and lightly slapped the other’s shoulder, “Aiya, you’re terrible!”

Yan Xuming was thoroughly disgusted. He threw his coat onto the back of his chair and sarcastically remarked, “Mai Dong, isn’t as disgusting as you.”

After he said this, Liu Yang and Chi Wenfu immediately hugged each other and began poorly acting out fake tears. “Chi-zi, look at him ah. Just because he got together with the other family’s xueshen, he’s protecting him like this. We really have no place in his heart in the future.”

Chi Wenfu wept bitterly as he nodded, “Yes ah, how are we going to live from now on ah!”

After the roommates finished being ridiculous, they started gossiping. Liu Yang dragged a chair over and sat next to Yan Xuming, “Ge, talk? How could someone like the xueshen fall for you?”

Yan Xuming had one assignment left undone. He opened his laptop and ignored everyone.

Liu Yang immediately turned to Chi Wenfu to complain, “Chi-zi! Look at him, he can’t even be bothered to talk to us!”

Chi Wenfu was closer to Yan Xuming in the dormitory, and they usually hung out together. Recently, he often saw Yan Xuming and Mai Dong greeting each other on the way. He had long suspected that Yan Xuming had ulterior motives.

Chi Wenfu snorted coldly, “I feel like he’s been chasing after him for a month or two. He always happens to bump into him before. I don’t know if it’s a real coincidence or intentional.”

Liu Yang remembered something, “F*ck, you kid! No wonder you always delayed going to eat with us before. Even when we called you, you didn’t come with us. Did you figure out when the xueshen goes to eat, and then waited for a romantic encounter?”

Yan Xuming was completely immune to his roommates’ attacks, focusing on his assignments with disregard for their chatter.

However, the news of his love life wasn’t confined to just his roommates’ knowledge. Before long, his phone chimed incessantly with notifications. He didn’t bother to check, knowing it was his friends rushing to gossip.

Unable to wait for a message, someone called directly. Yan Xuming answered, immediately hearing a sarcastic tone, “Chairman Yan, happy first snow~ Is your first snow happy? You must be very happy ha, everyone in the school knows you’re happy~”

Yan Xuming hung up the phone.

Compared to the cheerful atmosphere on Yan Xuming’s side, Mai Dong’s side was very different.

Mai Dong, this person, is indeed a bit clueless when it comes to relationships, and he doesn’t have much of a romantic bone in his body.

During the confession on the field, he even thought that only he could get it and didn’t think much about others.

After returning to the dormitory and finishing today’s diary, the happiness in his heart was about to overflow. He wanted to find a place to vent, but he didn’t have the courage. As he was uncomfortably holding it in, a message suddenly popped up on WeChat.

Chen Sinian: “Ah? Mai-zi! I haven’t seen you for a few days, and you’re already off the market!”

Mai Dong was so startled that he almost dropped his phone. Huh? His matter with Yan Xuming should still be… quite a secret, right? Apart from occasionally holding hands in private, not many people should have noticed, right?

Mai Dong calmed his mind and replied, “Ah?”

Chen Sinian continued lamenting, “F*ck! Confession during the first snow, you two are playing so romantically ah!”

Mai Dong really couldn’t hold back this time, “…How did you know!”

Chen Sinian: “No, not only do I know ah, I think the whole school knows by now.”

Mai Dong stared at the message for a long time, unable to process such a large amount of information all at once.

Once again, he resorted to his old tricks, long-pressing Chen Sinian’s message and selecting delete. There, he could pretend he didn’t know about this… Wait a minute, why does the whole school know ah!

Meanwhile, Du Chuan was on the phone with his girlfriend. They were talking about something, and just a moment ago, it was a sweet conversation. Suddenly, his expression changed as if he heard something shocking as he sat up straight, “What did you say?!”

Mai Dong had a very bad feeling.

He quickly put on his coat, intending to sneak out of the dormitory. As he was putting on his shoes, Mai Dong was halted by Du Chuan’s loud shout, “Stop right there!”

Mai Dong froze in place as if someone had hit the pause button.

The familiar four-way conversation began again.

Du Chuan and Wu Zimo were both laughing in exasperation, their arms crossed as they interrogated Mai Dong, “Are you saying that person has always been Yan Xuming?!”

Mai Dong silently nodded.

Du Chuan gritted his teeth in frustration, “Then, why didn’t you say so earlier! I… F*ck it, I even said in front of the Chairman that you liked a scum girl, only to find out he knew it was himself! You, you!”

Mai Dong felt ashamed, “I was wrong. At first, I did have a crush on him, and I didn’t want to cause trouble by confessing, so I let you misunderstand. Later, because you already misunderstood, I didn’t know how to explain.”

Liu Hewei patted Du Chuan on the shoulder, “Alright, alright, don’t be angry.”

Du Chuan sighed, “I’m not angry. This could have been such a good thing ah. If you had said it was Yan Xuming earlier, we could have helped you figure out how to pursue him. If you had said it was Yan Xuming earlier, wouldn’t we have been more relieved?”

Mai Dong obediently accepted the scolding, sitting up straight like a primary school student.

“So, what’s the deal between you two? I heard he confessed to you today, does that mean the trial period is over?” Wu Zimo asked.

“En,” Speaking of this, Mai Dong felt a bit happy about it.

“Look at that smile you can’t hide,” Du Chuan said helplessly.

It wasn’t until Mai Dong and Yan Xuming officially confirmed their relationship that Mai Dong realized what kind of existence he really was in school. He always thought he wasn’t good enough for Yan Xuming. If anyone knew that Yan Xuming was with someone named Mai Dong, they would all ask, “Ah? Who’s Mai Dong?”

But this was clearly not the case.

Mai Dong and Yan Xuming went to the cafeteria together for lunch. Although they sat quite properly, facing each other at the four-person table, Yan Xuming’s friends always came over to greet them, saying, “Yo, having lunch with the xueshen!”

Mai Dong always felt awkward and nearly choked on his food.

Yan Xuming, being considerate, pushed a cup of hot water towards him, “Take your time eating, ignore them, it’ll get better with time.”

Mai Dong replied in a low voice, “Um.”

Yan Xuming then asked, “Are you not used to this? If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to come to the cafeteria in the future.”

To Mai Dong’s ears, Yan Xuming’s words sounded like, “I won’t have lunch with you in the future,” so he quickly explained, “It’s okay. Although I’m not used to it, it’s fine… I’ll get used to it eventually.”

Yan Xuming laughed upon hearing this, “My bad, I didn’t expect it to be like this. In the eyes of my friends, your image is too solid xueshen. En, like a ‘Gao Ling flower.’”

Mai Dong almost choked again, “Are you kidding me?”

Yan Xuming nodded his head, “Yes ah.”

Mai Dong: “…”

What kind of experience is it when the trial period is over?

Mai Dong found it somewhat magical. Last time, Yan Xuming had said that the trial period would last until Mai Dong dared to kiss him downstairs in the dormitory building. At that time, Mai Dong thought it was completely impossible, so he wondered if this trial period would never end?

But now, with the change in their relationship, everything seemed to become natural again.

Although he couldn’t immediately get used to the teasing coming from all directions, he couldn’t help but appreciate the fact that he could hide behind Yan Xuming in such situations. Mai Dong could feel Yan Xuming’s captivating aura, like a strong and stable core, always gently shielding Mai Dong from things he didn’t want to face.

Mai Dong gradually felt that the names “Mai Dong” and “Yan Xuming” were becoming more closely intertwined, which made him feel content every time he thought about it.

Well, Mai Dong still couldn’t bring himself to kiss Yan Xuming downstairs in the dormitory building.

But luckily, his examiner wasn’t very strict either.

The field gradually filled with people. Seriously, having such a big Christmas tree that lights up in the school is really cool, isn’t it? Many people came dressed neatly to take photos. Each person received a wish card and crowded around small tables to write their wishes.

After finishing, they hung their cards on the wish wall made of holey boards. Even after hanging their cards, they were reluctant to leave and began to look at the wishes written by others.

Mai Dong huddled at the hot mulled wine stall, steam rising from the pot with a “bubble, bubble” sound. Yan Xuming took off his coat, now wearing a gray fleece hoodie, standing beside Mai Dong cutting apples. He wore disposable gloves as he sliced three pieces of apple, threw two pieces into the pot, and quietly fed one piece to Mai Dong.

A pot of mulled wine simmered as Mai Dong chewed patiently with a mouthful of apples, occasionally standing up to check on how the mulled wine was brewing.

Another apple was offered to Mai Dong, whose mouth was already full, rendering him unable to speak. He expressed his refusal with a series of “Hmm, hmm, hmm.”

Yan Xuming raised an eyebrow with a smirk, pretending not to understand.

Mai Dong raised his hand and pushed the apple back towards Yan Xuming, indicating that he should eat it himself.

The two of them were engrossed in their little actions, seemingly oblivious to the presence of two girls standing in front of the stall. Well, at least Mai Dong didn’t seem to notice at all. It’s unclear how long the two had been standing there, but finally, one of the girls spoke up, “Um, how much is the mulled wine ya?”

Mai Dong was startled, his ears turning rapidly red. Trying to cover it up, he quickly took a big step to the side. “Uh… cough, it’s five yuan per cup, all hot. Would you like one?”

The girl seemed a little surprised, “Five yuan?”

Mai Dong thought he might have set the price too high and was momentarily unsure of how to explain. Yan Xuming jumped in to continue, “En, most of the costs are covered by a classmate who prefers to remain anonymous, consider it a Christmas surprise for everyone.”

The girl nodded happily, “We’ll take two cups. Can we swipe this to pay?”

Mai Dong quickly handed them the cups, saying, “Yes, you can.”

It wasn’t until after the two people left that Mai Dong breathed a sigh of relief, “I thought it was too expensive.”

Yan Xuming chuckled, “How is it possible? Even the cheapest ones outside go for at least nine yuan. The quality of the wine and fruit we use is much better than theirs.” He paused for a moment, then lowered his voice considerably, “It’s a waste of money, boyfriend.”

Mai Dong was startled by the term he used, stuttering for a moment before replying, “N-no, I… I just wanted to drink it myself and thought of preparing this. Besides, the wine was given to me by my dad. All of it was gifts from his friends, and nobody at home drinks it.”

Mulled red wine stalls were soon on fire, Mai Dong originally just wanted to do his best to add a little richness to Yan Xueming’s activities but didn’t expect that because of the cheap price and good taste, many people were willing to come and buy a cup.

The mulled wine stall quickly became a hit. Mai Dong had originally only intended to contribute a little variety to Yan Xuming’s event, but unexpectedly, due to the affordable price and great taste, many people were willing to buy a cup.

In just over half an hour, four bottles of wine had been sold out. Mai Dong was exhausted, his back aching as he slouched in his seat.

Yan Xuming was summoned by the student union members, so Mai Dong stretched lazily, and then he remembered that he hadn’t written his wish card yet. He sneakily slipped through the crowd and joined everyone else, meticulously jotting down his own wish.

With just one line, he didn’t leave his name or contact information, tiptoeing to hang the wish card in a high spot.

He couldn’t bear to leave directly. Though this event was organized by the student union, Mai Dong felt immensely proud, feeling that Yan Xuming was truly remarkable.

This was Nanjing University’s first grand and formal Christmas event, an idea of Yan Xuming’s. This idea would likely be continued in the future.

Mai Dong stood before the wish wall, looking at the various wishes written by everyone.

“May this year be free from failing any courses! – Kang Zhao, Class of 2022, Chinese Language and Literature.”

“I hope Little Puppy Wang and Little Kitten Tang stay together forever! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!”

“Mom, I wish you a speedy recovery and early discharge from the hospital.”

“I want a box of sparklers! QQ: xxx”

“Is there anyone kind enough to give me two scratch cards ah? If I win the lottery, we’ll split the prize. Tel: xxx”

“I hope everything goes well. I hope that looking back in a few years, I won’t regret any decision I’ve made. – Hu.”

These wish cards bore different handwriting, and on this bustling winter night, the wish board carried many beautiful visions from different people.

Mai Dong felt immensely proud once again, believing this Christmas event to be the best in the world. He looked around, trying to find the wish card written by Yan Xuming.

The wish cards of the student union’s internal members were among the first to be hung up. At that time, Mai Dong had thought of coming over to take down Yan Xuming’s wish card but was stopped by him.

He only remembered the general direction. At that time, there were only a few cards on the wish wall, so it was easy to remember. Now, he couldn’t find it anymore.

Mai Dong tiptoed to look up, recalling that Yan Xuming had stretched his arm to hang it up. Still searching, he suddenly spotted a very familiar card in front of him.

Mai Dong instinctively reached out with the fastest reaction speed, intending to take back the card he had written himself. But someone’s reaction was even faster than his. The card in front of him was snatched away, and as he turned around, of course, it was Yan Xuming standing behind him.

Mai Dong opened his mouth, intending to say something. He had deliberately written and hung the card when Yan Xuming wasn’t around, precisely to avoid being caught by him. He hadn’t expected him to notice and remove it so quickly.

Mai Dong looked at him, “Why did you take my card down?”

Yan Xuming responded with a nonchalant “Hmm?” and said, “According to the rules, anyone can take down your card. Why can’t I?”

Mai Dong couldn’t argue with him. “But… I deliberately avoided you. How did you know where I hung it?”

Yan Xuming chuckled. “I saw it.”

Mai Dong realized, “You were still staring at me while discussing things!”

Yan Xuming didn’t bother denying it. “Yeah.”

Mai Dong reached out. “Then give it back to me…”

Yan Xuming: “Why?”

It took Mai Dong a while to respond. “I want to hang it up there.”

Yan Xuming then displayed the card again. “But this wish is quite specific. Besides me, is there anyone else who can fulfill your wish?”

The card had a single line written on it: “I don’t dislike the trial period, but I hope to get through it quickly and be transferred!”

Mai Dong looked at the words in front of him. He hadn’t expected Yan Xuming to take down his card, or else he wouldn’t have written such a wish. His face was quietly turning red as Mai Dong was crowded by Yan Xuming in front of the wish wall, with quite a few people around. He spoke softly, “Oh, then, will you help me fulfill my wish?”

Yan Xuming didn’t say anything. He stretched out his arm, reaching above Mai Dong’s head. He took down a card and handed it to Mai Dong.

Mai Dong’s eyes widened. He had just searched this area, how did he not see it? The handwriting on the card was beautiful, and Mai Dong recognized it—it was Yan Xuming’s handwriting.

“Card bug ba: Hope Mai Dong’s wish comes true.”

The playground was lively all night, with almost everyone holding a cup of mulled wine. A microphone was brought out by the speakers, and many students with good singing voices in the school, perhaps influenced by the atmosphere, were willing to go up and sing a song.

As if blessed by the heavens, snow began to fall tonight, although it was light, with sporadic snowflakes drifting down.

At the moment, students from the Foreign Languages Department were singing “Fly Me To The Moon.” It was a girl singing, her sweet voice hitting high notes.

Yan Xuming held Mai Dong’s wrist, leading him to sit down on the large picnic mat laid out in the middle of the field. He hummed along with the melody at first, then began singing along as the song progressed. His voice was an octave lower than the girl’s, softly and gently humming the tune into Mai Dong’s ear.

“You are all I long for

All I worship and adore

In other words please be true

In other words…”

Mai Dong’s heart raced as he listened. It was the first time he heard Yan Xuming sing, and it was unexpectedly good, surpassing Mai Dong’s expectations. The low, slow melody humming in his ear made Mai Dong realize it was a confession meant just for him, especially because of the lyrics.

But that most important and straightforward line abruptly halted, turning into a vague and ambiguous laugh in Yan Xuming’s mouth. Mai Dong felt a tingling sensation in his heart and instinctively asked, “What about the last line?”

Yan Xuming replied amidst the girl’s singing, “En? Is there more? I seem to have forgotten.”

Mai Dong didn’t notice his own tone because he felt a deep sense of regret and disappointment from the bottom of his heart. He thought the significance of Yan Xuming singing along to this song lay in that last line: “Yes, ya. In other words, I love you.”

Yan Xuming’s smile became even more evident. “En, me too.”

Mai Dong realized he had fallen into Yan Xuming’s trap again. In this maddeningly ambiguous atmosphere, he suddenly remembered his roommates’ words: “Mai-zi, I don’t think you can outsmart him.” At this moment, Mai Dong deeply agreed. He didn’t know enough about Yan Xuming and always unintentionally fell into his traps.

He remained silent, his face flushing at the words “I love you” he had uttered, unsure of what to say for a while. But before Mai Dong could speak, there was suddenly a commotion ahead. The head of the Literary Arts Department was being pushed by everyone to sing a song. She tried to decline but then thought of diverting the attention.

“Yan ge, before we talk about whether I’ll sing or not, you have to sing a song, right?”

Mentioning Yan Xuming, the focus was easily shifted, and everyone started clamoring for Yan Xuming to sing a song. Yan Xuming didn’t refuse. Before standing up, he suddenly reached out and squeezed Mai Dong’s right hand. He walked to the microphone and sat down, searching for accompaniment.

It was a song that Mai Dong hadn’t heard before.

But Mai Dong’s English was good.

Even this song not only contained English but also a short segment of Spanish. Yet Mai Dong could still understand it. He had never been so grateful for his major and his passion for lesser-known languages. While others on the playground might not comprehend, or even if they did, might not understand the meaning behind Yan Xuming’s song, Mai Dong fully grasped it.

“My Only One” was the name of this song.

My Only One, were the last lines of this song.

The person sitting in front of the microphone smiled at Mai Dong during the outro. “Student Mai Dong, happy first snow.”

Mai Dong’s aloof reputation preceded him; everyone assumed he didn’t want to talk to others. After exchanging thanks, they each went their own way with their milk tea.

Mai Dong didn’t know how many people were there before he arrived, and he had bought too much milk tea. There were still four or five cups left in the box. Feeling a bit guilty, he tugged on Yan Xuming’s sleeve, “Do you… do you want to pick a cup?”

Yan Xuming seemed somewhat surprised, “Oh? There’s still a share for an ordinary friend like me?”

Mai Dong immediately looked regretful, his face falling, “I’m sorry, I misspoke. Don’t be angry.”

Yan Xuming wasn’t actually angry. He had read Mai Dong’s diary. Mai Dong was too afraid to even hold his hand in a dream. He couldn’t expect him to admit their relationship in front of so many people so soon. He casually picked up a cup and took a sip, finding it surprisingly sweet.

Yan Xuming glanced at the label on the milk tea cup and found it was a full-brown sugar bubble milk tea.

After another sip, his mouth felt coated in sugar, sticky, and greasy. Before Mai Dong could reach for another cup for him, Yan Xuming stuffed his milk tea into Mai Dong’s hand.

Mai Dong: “What’s wrong?”

Yan Xuming’s voice sounded sticky, “Sweet.”

Mai Dong naturally took a sip, “…Hmm, I didn’t know full sugar could be this sweet. Well, I’ll drink this cup then.”

Mai Dong was a bit naive and awkward, and not easy to deal with. Although his public persona was that of an aloof xueshen, internally, he was like a fool who could short-circuit with just a flick of his head.

Just now, he had said they were only friends as if he had been stepped on the tail, and now he was casually drinking from the milk tea that Yan Xuming had already drunk.

Mai Dong held his milk tea and squatted next to Yan Xuming by the Christmas tree.

Assembling the Christmas tree wasn’t too difficult. The tree trunk came in segments from the store. Before assembling each segment, they needed to spread out the branches to the appropriate angles. Each of them took a segment of the trunk and sat on the ground, adjusting the branches.

Mai Dong worked diligently, carefully examining the angle of each branch after bending it out. After all, this was a task for the student union, and the Christmas tree would be on display for the whole school to see.

However, Yan Xuming seemed somewhat absent-minded, casually bending branches and occasionally glancing over at Mai Dong.

One moment, Mai Dong was proudly showing off his handiwork, and the next, he hurriedly exchanged his segment with Yan Xuming’s.

Mai Dong muttered to himself, “Aiya, what are you doing ya? You need to check the angles and fill in every gap to make it look big and lush. Hurry up and hold onto this. Pretend you did it, or else they’ll say you were lazy. I’ll redo this for you.”

Yan Xuming didn’t refuse at all; instead, he leaned in, focusing intently on Mai Dong.

Mai Dong wanted to concentrate on his work, but Yan Xuming’s gaze was too difficult to ignore.

Mai Dong’s ears turned red subtly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Yan Xuming asked, “Why didn’t you join the student union in the first place? I thought you would join for me.”

Mai Dong instantly became nervous, glancing around to see if anyone was listening to their conversation. When he saw everyone was busy with their own tasks, he answered in a low voice, “I actually thought about coming to find you. We’re in different majors and different grades, so joining the student union would give me more time with you. But… um, I don’t know, maybe I felt more timid about being close to home?¹It means that after being away from home for many years and having no news, once you return, the closer you get to home, the more uneasy you feel. Fearing that something unfortunate has happened in your hometown. It is also used to describe the complex feelings of a wanderer returning home.”

Yan Xuming chuckled.

Mai Dong didn’t know why he was laughing. “What’s so funny…”

Yan Xuming said, “You truly live up to your reputation as a xueba. I asked you a question wanting to hear you say more, but you just give me a proverb and brush me off?”

Mai Dong kept his eyes fixed on the Christmas tree in his hands. “My diary is in your hands. What else do you want to hear from me?”

Yan Xuming replied confidently, “It’s different.”

Mai Dong asked patiently, “So what do you want to hear then?”

Yan Xuming replied, “Translate the meaning of feeling timid about being close to home.”

Mai Dong took out his phone, “Look it up yourself.”

Yan Xuming leaned in, refusing to take his phone, just staring at Mai Dong.

Mai Dong resigned himself to the situation. How could Yan Xuming not know the meaning of feeling timid about being close to home? He also understood what Yan Xuming wanted to hear. It was the trial period. After all, he had to perform well. He retrieved his phone again. Plucking a branch from the Christmas tree, the texture felt somewhat rough in his palm; this Christmas tree was obviously not real, probably made of plastic.

After hesitating for a while, Mai Dong finally spoke with a tinge of inherent disappointment in his voice, “Even if I had joined the student union, it doesn’t necessarily mean I could have gotten closer to you. Wouldn’t that have been even more disappointing? If expectations are too high, the disappointment would be even more painful. Maybe I would have seen you getting along well with others every day. In that case, it’s better to maintain the distance we had before, like in high school. You wouldn’t know who I am, and I’d be happy just seeing you every day.”

Yan Xuming corrected him, “I do know who you are.”

Mai Dong was coaxed by this statement. “En! You’ve always known who I am.”

Assembling the Christmas tree seemed simple, but the tree was too tall and too large to be completed in just a few minutes. Yan Xuming went to get the wish cards, all of them Christmas-themed with red and green colors. He picked out two colors and handed one of each to Mai Dong.

Curiously, Mai Dong took them and asked, “Will everyone get a card?”

Yan Xuming nodded. “Yes, but not everyone will participate for sure. It’s cold outside, and most people are not willing to go out.”

Mai Dong smiled, “My roommates all said they wanted to participate. One of them even said they’ll write world peace.”

Yan Xuming asked him, “What about you?”

Mai Dong squeezed the two wish cards, pondering for a while. “I won’t tell you.”

December passed quickly, mainly due to the approaching finals week.

Everyone’s lives seemed to be on fast-forward, and Mai Dong’s notes were circulating among his peers in various majors these days. He wasn’t even sure whose hands his notes were in now, and the dormitory was bustling with activity. There was always someone coming in with course materials or homework to consult Mai Dong.

People were truly at their wits’ end. This year, one of the professors teaching a major course had a rather abstract teaching style. He didn’t emphasize key points, didn’t provide course materials, and his lectures were fragmented. If you lost focus for a moment, you wouldn’t know what he was talking about. If it weren’t for this course being required this year, no one would have dared to disturb the xueshen.

The first person to arrive was known for his thick skin. He could strike up a conversation with anyone, and with great confidence, he pushed open Mai Dong’s dormitory door. Upon entering, he began to praise Mai Dong, calling him the beacon of hope for the finals. He said that the passing rate for our class in this course depended on you, xueshen. Mai Dong’s face almost turned red by all the flattery.

After the person left feeling pleased with himself, he went back to the dorm and said that Mai Dong had a pretty good temper. If there was anything you didn’t understand, you could just go ask him, the xueshen would explain it to you clearly.

Meanwhile, Yan Xuming was also busy with the Christmas event preparations. He personally wrote the promotional materials, and several people carried the tall Christmas tree to the venue in the cold wind. They also bought several white holey boards to assemble on the field to hang the wish cards.

January was also approaching, and as usual, the school would hold a New Year’s Eve party. This was the most grandiose event after the welcoming party. The performance lists from various clubs were sent to the student union, screened by the Department of Arts and Literature for recommendations, and then all the finalized items were handed over to Yan Xuming.

The two didn’t meet much this month. Mai Dong spent his weekends in the International Debate Team’s activity room, while Yan Xuming spent his weekends in the Student Union’s activity room.

Until Christmas Eve, which fell on a Sunday, Mai Dong headed to the field after dinner. The event venue was already set up, and from a distance, one could see the sparkling Christmas tree in the middle of the field. It had snowed lightly during the day, a rare occurrence, but it quickly stopped, leaving no accumulation on the ground. The weather forecast predicted heavy snow later in the evening, although it was uncertain when it would arrive.

“Hey, Mai Dong, you’re here la? Look, how do you think we’ve done?”

The one who greeted Mai Dong was the head of the Department of Arts and Literature of the Student Union. She was a girl with pink hair, who had previously tried Mai Dong’s milk tea and recognized him this time, taking the initiative to say hello.

Mai Dong nodded quickly. “It’s amazing. Thank you for your hard work.”

The girl waved her hand dismissively. “No trouble, no trouble at all. Hey, initially, the plan was for the event to be all day tomorrow, but they said since it’s snowing tonight, and it’s Christmas Eve on a Sunday, we might as well start tonight. Have you written your wish?”

Mai Dong was pleasantly surprised, “Tonight? I haven’t got it yet. I’ll write it in a while.”

Yan Xuming was talking to a boy who was holding a notebook.

Mai Dong didn’t go over to interrupt. He planned to set up the stereo with everyone else. But before he could start, he saw Yan Xuming waving at him. Obviously, Yan Xuming was standing sideways, so he couldn’t see Mai Dong without turning his head. Mai Dong didn’t know how he noticed him.

When the boy saw Mai Dong, he paused halfway through his sentence, “Well, Chairman, let me go talk to Sun Li first. If there’s anything difficult to decide, I’ll come back and ask you.”

Yan Xuming nodded, “En.”

As the boy was leaving, he greeted Mai Dong, “Xueshen, good evening ah!”

Mai Dong showed some restraint, “Ah, good evening.”

Amidst the noisy surroundings, the boy shouted the name “Sun Li” and left. The sound system was being tested, and the Christmas songs were playing on the playground. Mai Dong stood still for a moment, watching Yan Xuming. Suddenly, he smiled, “Did I interrupt you guys?”

Yan Xuming took two steps to close the distance between them, frowning as he directly held his hand, “Why aren’t you wearing gloves?”

Mai Dong hadn’t even noticed until he mentioned it, probably because he was walking too fast and had left his gloves in the activity room. His hands were so cold that he couldn’t feel them anymore. It was only when Yan Xuming wrapped his hand around his that he realized how cold he was, “I forgot, I came in a hurry.”

Yan Xuming responded, “What’s the rush?”

Mai Dong turned and gestured to the Christmas tree behind them, “I came in a hurry to see my hard work ya. Two of the segments inside were done by me.”

Yan Xuming smiled and acknowledged, “En, thank you for your hard work.”

“No, in what family does a good person have a trial period in their love life ah?”

Not only Wu Zimo and Liu Hewei, but even Du Chuan, who was playing games, fell silent. He was so angry that he stormed out to vent his frustration in the air, which exposed his position, and got shot in the head by Old Yinbi¹Often used in some games, who hide in a not noticeable place, waiting to attack other players., who was lying in the grass far away. The game screen turned gray. Du Chuan threw the mouse and turned his head to look at Mai Dong.

“Next, you have three minutes to explain what the trial period means.”

How could Mai Dong know what the trial period meant ah!

He himself wanted to ask Yan Xuming what the trial period really meant. Mai Dong couldn’t say anything again, feeling guilty already. His debating talent didn’t come in handy at this moment.

Du Chuan spoke solemnly, “Mai-zi, I won’t say anything else to you. You’re not dumb, how come you can’t see through her intentions? When have you heard of someone dating and still having a trial period? Let me ask you this straightforwardly, have you two officially started dating during this trial period or not?”

Mai Dong was more resolute this time. He had already thought about this question when he was at the doorway. “We have.”

Du Chuan stretched out his hand. “Alright, bring her WeChat for me to see. Has she made it official on Moments? Isn’t it reasonable to make it official when you’re in a relationship?”

Mai Dong was speechless again. After a while, he managed to say, “I… I haven’t made it official either ah.”

Du Chuan was getting exasperated, “Then you’re also a scumbag! Why haven’t you made it official!”

Mai Dong’s logic was clearer this time, “Because we’re still in the trial period. It’s better to make it official after it’s over, right? In case it’s embarrassing if the trial period doesn’t work out ya…”

Liu Hewei interjected, “So she’s testing you, huh? Why do I feel like you’re still being deceived?”

Hearing his roommate’s question, Mai Dong’s mind flashed back to Yan Xuming’s helpless words: “Mai Dong, this trial period is for you to deduct points for me.” At the time, he didn’t think much about it, too preoccupied with why there had to be a trial period. But now, as his roommate brought it up again, Mai Dong couldn’t help but feel moved by it in hindsight.

His heart started racing again, and his face was quietly turning red.

How could Yan Xuming casually say something so heartwarming? It wasn’t fair at all. It made Mai Dong seem like a clumsy child with a poor tongue.

Mai Dong was lost in thought, while his roommates observed his expression, reading it as a clear sign of a LOVE BRAIN in capital letters.

With sighs all around, they decided to just go about their own business. It seemed like communication wasn’t going to happen today, at least not effectively.

Mai Dong didn’t have a vase, so he decided to buy one tomorrow. He wasn’t even willing to wait for the delivery time. Today, he just placed the roses on the balcony, waiting to put them in the vase tomorrow. He took several pictures, only managing to get a satisfactory one after numerous attempts, before finally putting away his phone to write in his diary.

November 25, 2023. Sunny

Today, I wore the suit my mom gave me, only to regretfully discover that I hadn’t grown taller. It seems the saying about “growing a bit taller at 23” isn’t reliable. I’m only 20, and I’ve already stopped growing. Or perhaps I have to wait until I’m 23 to grow a bit taller?

I really want to grow a bit taller. It would be more convenient to walk with him. I know he’s been slowing down to match my pace, T T but it’s a bit embarrassing. It’s like I have short legs, even though I’m 174 ah. I know 174 isn’t considered tall for guys, but it’s not as if I’m short-legged either!

So what exactly is the meaning of a trial period in love?

I can understand Du Chuan and their worries. I’m not angry that they insist my partner is a bad person; instead, they were a little… probably happy, right? They don’t want me to be deceived. Does that mean they consider me a friend? And their worries are all based on not knowing who he is, which can only be blamed on me. I didn’t have the courage to speak up. I’m afraid of the possible bad outcome. Speaking up would only add embarrassment and trouble.

I’ll definitely perform well during the trial period but to the extent of kissing under the dorm building… Help! I absolutely can’t do it, no matter what! What should I do? Although it’s true that couples often kiss under the dorm building, I really can’t do it ah ah ah! It’s not about how well we know each other or whether I don’t like him enough. It’s just that fundamentally, Mai Dong can’t do such things!

Mai Dong, you’re such an idiot! Why can’t you even do something like that!

T T

But I really can’t!

In early December, on Christmas Day, there was an event at school. I heard the student union had already begun preparations. In recent years, celebrating Christmas has become increasingly popular, and this year, the student union was planning a grand Christmas Wish Party.

Mai Dong heard about this from Du Chuan. His girlfriend is the president of the Hanfu Club, so she should know more about it.

It’s said that on Christmas Eve, there will be a huge Christmas tree on the field, surrounded by many wish walls. Everyone can prepare a card and write down their wishes on it. Maybe someone will help you make them come true.

“Who’s going to help me fulfill it, Santa Claus?” Wu Zimo asked.

“Me, your dad. Write down a wish that doesn’t exceed 20 yuan, and I’ll go pick it off for you when the time comes,” Du Chuan rolled his eyes.

“I don’t get it,” Wu Zimo asked again.

“Put simply, each person gets a card. Write your wish and your contact information on it, then hang it on the wish wall. It’s all public. If your wish is reasonable and you happen to catch the eye of a soft-hearted god, they might pick your card and help you fulfill your wish,” Du Chuan explained.

“Got it, it’s like a matchmaking corner,” Wu Zimo remarked.

“Hey, you hit the nail on the head. I said the same thing when I first heard about it,” the two laughed arrogantly. Wu Zimo had already started pondering his own wish, saying he wanted to write world peace, which is the most basic wish in the world.

Mai Dong was looking forward to this event and secretly sent a WeChat message to Yan Xuming.

Mai-zi: “I heard about the Christmas event.”

Yan Xuming: “En, want to participate?”

Mai-zi: “Yes!”

Yan Xuming: “We’re preparing. The student union activity room is assembling the Christmas tree. Wanna come to play?”

Mai-zi: “You guys are working. Is it okay for me to come over?”

Yan Xuming: “There’s nothing wrong with it. Come over. Take a few more wish cards.”

Mai-zi: “No need, no need, one is enough.”

This year, the temperature seems to be lower than usual. Entering December feels like crossing a threshold. Just a few days ago, I could still wander around in my autumn coat, but now, going out at night without a full set of scarf, gloves, and hat makes it feel like I can’t even move my legs because of the cold.

Mai Dong was followed by the delivery guy from the milk tea shop as they arrived at the student union activity room.

The air conditioning in the activity room was on full blast. As soon as they entered, they were enveloped in heat. Mai Dong’s voice was muffled by his scarf, so he didn’t dare to speak loudly. He tugged on Yan Xuming’s sleeve and whispered, “I bought milk tea for everyone. Can you tell them?”

Yan Xuming reached out to remove Mai Dong’s scarf. “Still wrapped up? Aren’t you hot?”

Mai Dong quickly raised his hand, feeling like the scarf was his armor. He didn’t know anyone from the student union, so it took a lot of courage for him to come here. He had hesitated and deliberated in the dormitory for a long time before finally succumbing to the temptation of assembling the Christmas tree with Yan Xuming and deciding to go out. Having his scarf removed and taking off his coat felt like being naked to him!

Mai Dong’s voice was muffled, making him sound timid, “Don’t take it off, I’m not hot.”

Yan Xuming seemed to not hear him, his actions much more forceful. He grabbed a corner of the scarf and pulled it down, causing Mai Dong to spin in place. When he spun back, the scarf was already in Yan Xuming’s hand.

Yan Xuming’s tone was unquestionable, “There’s air conditioning inside. You’ll catch a cold if you don’t take off your coat.”

“… Oh.” Mai Dong nodded and obediently started to take off his coat.

Yan Xuming took the box from the delivery guy’s hand, and everyone crowded around to pick their milk tea. It had just been made a few minutes ago, so it was all piping hot.

“Not bad ah, Yan ge. What’s up with you today? You even treat us to milk tea.”

“If you have a conscience, I almost turned into a popsicle walking over from the dorm!”

“Hey, do you have any sugar-free ones?”

Yan Xuming looked coldly at them as they laughed and picked their drinks. “Am I that generous? It wasn’t me who treated.”

Immediately, someone asked, “Then who’s the Bodhisattva who treated?”

Yan Xuming leaned against the table in the middle, half of his body turned back, looking at Mai Dong. “Come say hi?”

Mai Dong had just neatly folded his coat and placed it on the chair. He pointed to himself with a bewildered expression, making it clear, “Me?”

Yan Xuming raised an eyebrow.

Mai Dong felt like crying but had no tears. Wasn’t it because he felt embarrassed to say hi that he let Yan Xuming distribute the milk tea? How could this person be like this! If he had known, he wouldn’t have bothered buying the milk tea. Sneaking in quietly might have attracted less attention to himself.

Mai Dong’s limbs stiffened, and it took him a lot of effort to put a polite smile on his face. He shuffled over to Yan Xuming’s side. “Uh… Hello, everyone. I’m Mai Dong. It’s cold today, so I bought some milk tea for everyone.”

“Xueshen! You actually know Yan Xuming ah? I had no idea!”

“Hello, hello! You’re welcome to join us ah. Make yourself at home, we all know you.”

“Thanks for the milk tea, xueshen. Next time we have a gathering, can you come along too?”

“Wait, Yan ge, aren’t you going to introduce us? You know Mai Dong ah?”

Yan Xuming’s posture was relaxed as he leaned against the edge of the table, and he leaned even more towards Mai Dong after he stood next to him. Because they were pressed together, Mai Dong clearly felt Yan Xuming lightly chuckle after hearing the question, and then he spoke, “Mai Dong and I have known each other for quite a while. He’s my…”

“Friend!” Mai Dong blurted out, feeling like he had stepped on a tail, abruptly interrupting Yan Xuming’s words. In that instant, his mouth was quicker than his brain. He regretted it immediately after saying it. They were already in the trial period, so why did he still do something like not admitting his identity ah! Wouldn’t he get deducted for this?!

As expected, Yan Xuming paused for a moment, then slowly spoke, his tone filled with indiscernible emotions, “Oh, then just friends.”

The graduation ceremony for the seniors was grand, more so than any previous year’s ceremony. This was because their school had achieved first place in the district and second place in the city, thanks to Yan Xuming’s outstanding performance, making him the best student the school had seen in three years. All the teachers were ecstatic, coming up to Yan Xuming one by one to congratulate him.

However, all they spoke were clichés: how after so many years of studying, they were finally liberated, how all the hard work had paid off; how even in university, they couldn’t relax and still needed to devote themselves to learning; how the school was proud of him and how future juniors will take him as a role model, and so on.

Yan Xuming didn’t have the inclination to engage in such social niceties. As the teachers surrounded him, he strangely thought of Mai Dong. He felt that having a classmate like Mai Dong, who was aloof and difficult to approach, might have its advantages. Perhaps when Mai Dong achieved similar results next year, the teachers wouldn’t be surrounding him with such congratulations.

Since he thought of Mai Dong, Yan Xuming didn’t want to leave himself any regrets. He wasn’t the type to harbor regrets.

Glancing through the gaps in the backstage curtains, he indeed saw Mai Dong sitting upright in the front row.

As today was the graduation ceremony, Yan Xuming was naturally one of the representatives for the graduating class and would be giving a speech later. Similarly, the sophomore class also had student representatives who needed to come on stage to deliver speeches about striving and offering blessings to the seniors. However, this time, Mai Dong wasn’t one of the student representatives.

Having finally escaped the excited teachers, Yan Xuming lifted the heavy curtain backstage and strode past the still-unprepared podium towards the audience seats. He was planning to sit directly next to Mai Dong. However, to his surprise, as soon as he descended the steps of the stage, Mai Dong hastily stood up from the front row and hurried off somewhere.

Yan Xuming’s steps faltered. He was starting to doubt himself a bit. Was Mai Dong really so averse to him?

The rest of the event went smoothly that day. Yan Xuming’s speech received a round of applause, and it seemed like everyone was genuinely proud of him. But Mai Dong didn’t return to his seat until the event was over.

There are many missed opportunities during adolescence, or rather, missed opportunities are synonymous with youth.

After hesitating again and again, Yan Xuming finally mustered the courage to ask one of Mai Dong’s classmates as the event was winding down, “Excuse me, classmate, do you know where Mai Dong went?”

The boy shook his head. “I don’t know ah. He left before it even started. I don’t know him well.”

Yan Xuming nodded in thanks and didn’t say anything else.

It seemed like Mai Dong was always distant from others, with nobody knowing where he was, what he was doing, or what he was thinking. Yan Xuming stared at the empty seat for a while, feeling helpless. He realized that he was probably just another “stranger” to Mai Dong. He shouldn’t be too self-assured, thinking he was some universally beloved figure. In reality, he was just another “stranger” to Mai Dong.

As Yan Xuming spoke those words in a calm tone, Mai Dong felt his heart tremble. He didn’t know how to respond or explain at that moment. He had no idea that the two of them had been missing each other all along. Quickly, he tightened his grip on the roses in his arms, as if afraid they might grow legs and run away, thus missing another opportunity.

Mai Dong felt somewhat dejected. He was angry at himself for his past wandering thoughts.

What was Mai Dong thinking at that time?

It was too easy to guess. Mai Dong didn’t need to recall; he knew. He initially refused to be the student representative and then fled from the graduation ceremony. It was simply because he couldn’t accept Yan Xuming at that moment, even though Yan Xuming had already appeared in his life. Now, he was leaving again.

Mai Dong had an exaggerated sense of dedication, driven by his minimal desire for external things. Once he liked something or someone, he could like them for a very long time, relying on the small moments of happiness and sweetness he imagined for himself every day to keep moving forward.

But now, he didn’t even have the opportunity to fantasize. Yan Xuming had graduated and left the school. There would be no chance for Mai Dong to encounter Yan Xuming in various places anymore.

Mai Dong gathered his courage and tightly held Yan Xuming’s hand in the pocket of Yan Xuming’s coat. His tone was like a pitiful little leaf in a storm, “I didn’t know at the time… Actually, I was really upset when you graduated. Because in our sophomore year, I had placed many emotions on you without your knowledge. I felt selfish for doing so, yet I didn’t dare to get to know you.”

Yan Xuming adjusted the position of their hands in the pocket. Though his pocket wasn’t small, fitting the hands of two adult men was a bit cramped. They ended up holding each other’s hands tightly. “So, when I found that diary, I was truly shocked, Mai Dong. Since you started your sophomore year, my image in your heart has been reshaped several times.”

Mai Dong licked his lips. “The entries in the diary are probably more genuine…”

Yan Xuming, not knowing what came over him, started laughing again. “En, I’ve heard even in dreams, you wouldn’t dare have too much interaction with me. Is that you?”

Mai Dong was adept at blushing at Yan Xuming’s casual remarks. He cleared his throat, attempting to cover up his embarrassment. “I-I’m just being polite, aren’t I?”

The two of them strolled back to the dormitory in this manner. At this time on a Sunday, there were quite a few people coming and going. While they were at the field, Mai Dong could relax a little more. After all, it was dark there, but under the dormitory building, there was a row of streetlights, making it brightly lit.

Before they even reached the dormitory building, Mai Dong had already taken the initiative to withdraw his hand from Yan Xuming’s pocket.

It was strange to think that they were clearly holding hands as they left the dormitory for their date. At that time, Mai Dong’s mind was filled with the idea that Yan Xuming was going to confess his feelings to him. He was so overwhelmed with happiness that he didn’t pay attention to anything else. Now, feeling a bit calmer, he suddenly became shy. He lifted the roses in his arms to cover his face, feeling bashful.

Yan Xuming barely heard the quiet voice. “You should go back.”

Yan Xuming lifted his hand and pushed down the flowers in front of Mai Dong’s face, revealing Mai Dong’s eyes. Before he could speak, Mai Dong dodged away, adding a complaint, “Why are you treating my flowers like this!”

Yan Xuming’s words got stuck in the corner of his mouth for a while. Instead of saying “good night,” he swallowed hard and said, “It seems like the trial period is still very important.”

Mai Dong asked confusedly, “Why?”

Yan Xuming stared into his eyes. “Trial period first until you dare to give me a goodnight kiss under the dormitory building.”

!

Mai Dong’s face turned red and he ran back to the dormitory without looking back.

Rushing to the dormitory door, Mai Dong suddenly remembered another big issue.

His roommates all assumed that if he went out to dinner with Yan Xuming, he wouldn’t be thinking about confessing anymore. They didn’t know that the person who was going to confess to him was Yan Xuming. Now, returning to the dormitory with flowers in hand, he couldn’t avoid a barrage of questions. How should he respond?

Yet, he and Yan Xuming were in this inexplicable trial period. Did that mean they were officially together or not?

Work also has an internship period, and being in an internship period counts as having a job. Shouldn’t it be the same for relationships? Mai Dong thought to himself. But even so, he couldn’t find the words to say it, couldn’t explain why he couldn’t bring himself to say that he and Yan Xuming were together.

He didn’t fear people knowing about his sexual orientation, nor did he fear them knowing about his long-standing affection for Yan Xuming. Mai Dong couldn’t quite grasp what he was afraid of. He had a vague feeling that perhaps the reason Yan Xuming mentioned the need for a trial period was because of him.

After much deliberation, Dr. God Mai decided to give Yan Xuming a call.

He held the rose standing by the window, gazing at the moon through the window while waiting for the “beep beep beep” sound indicating the call was connecting. Today seemed to be overcast, the moon was small and blurry. After a short while, the phone was answered, and Yan Xuming’s voice was delivered directly into Mai Dong’s ear through the receiver. “Hmm?”

Mai Dong’s ears turned red again. He couldn’t help but suspect that Yan Xuming deliberately used that word to tease him. He discreetly shifted the phone from one ear to the other, from right to left, before asking softly, “When I… I go back, what should I tell my roommates?”

“What do you say?” Yan Xuming threw the question back again.

“I just don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you…” Mai Dong felt distressed.

“Do you think having me as your boyfriend would be embarrassing?”

“Of course not! Don’t say such things on purpose. You know very well that’s not what I meant…”

“Then just say it. If there’s something you feel awkward saying, should I say it for you?”

Yan Xuming’s proposal startled Mai Dong, who could almost anticipate the kind of words he was going to hear. Startled, he quickly hung up the phone and replied, “No, no, I’ll say it myself.”

Mai Dong thought to himself.

Since both of them needed a trial period, there was no need to casually divulge their relationship to others. How did that saying go again? “Keep your plans to yourself until they are successful, and guard your words until they are effective.” If they didn’t successfully pass this trial period, wouldn’t things become awkward and worse?

Mai Dong returned to the dorm holding a large bunch of orange roses, while Du Chuan was busy dominating in a game.

When Mai Dong left, everyone in the dorm felt relieved, thinking that since he went out with Yan Xuming, everything was fine. However, seeing him like this, it seemed like he had come back with a head full of lovey-dovey thoughts. Moreover, with the roses in his arms, they couldn’t tell if someone had given them to him or if he had bought them intending to give them away.

Du Chuan sighed, “Explain.”

Mai Dong prepared himself for the interrogation and quickly replied, “He really confessed to me, he didn’t lie, and he’s not a bad guy. Dinner tonight was expensive, and he paid for it!” Mai Dong rattled off a series of explanations. Although he didn’t want to disclose Yan Xuming’s identity for now, he still wanted to leave a positive impression on him.

Du Chuan was too busy with his game to be involved in the interrogation, so the task fell to Wu Zimo and Liu Hewei. The two of them pulled up chairs and sat around Mai Dong, with Wu Zimo looking as stern as a judge, saying, “Explain.”

Mai Dong omitted Yan Xuming’s identity, the other person’s gender, and, of course, what happened in the restroom of the Western restaurant. Instead, he said that they had noticed each other during high school but hadn’t been able to meet for various reasons. Now they had cleared up their regrets, confessed their feelings, exchanged flowers, and their relationship had smoothly entered the trial period.

Initially, Wu Zimo was quite satisfied with what he heard, almost ready to marvel at how Mai Dong had managed to get into a relationship. But before he could express his thoughts, he realized something and exclaimed, “What the hell is this? A trial period?!”

And what about Yan Xuming?

Although the weather was already quite cold, there were still many people willing to come out for a run and couples finishing their meals before heading to the field for digestion.

Walking along the field, some people sporadically recognized Yan Xuming. It was hard not to; he was tall enough that even his back was easily recognizable.

In the dim light, some people didn’t notice Mai Dong’s hand in Yan Xuming’s pocket. They casually came over to greet Yan Xuming, asking how he could have the leisure to come to the field for a walk.

Yan Xuming didn’t say anything; instead, his eyes signaled the person to look into the pocket where their hands were hidden. Upon seeing Mai Dong holding a large bouquet of roses, the person exclaimed, “WTF,” and then turned around and left.

Mai Dong felt extremely embarrassed and harbored resentment towards their trial period. “Aren’t you afraid they’ll misunderstand? Aren’t we still in our trial period?”

Yan Xuming didn’t answer his question but instead asked, “Do you want to know how I see you?”

Mai Dong turned to him, puzzled. “Huh?”

Yan Xuming, throughout his life, had always had things go smoothly for him.

Although his family’s financial situation couldn’t match that of Mai Dong; ‘s rich third generation, Yan Xuming never lacked food or clothing. With good academic performance and a tall stature, he was always seen as a representative figure of “other people’s children” wherever he went.

When he was in kindergarten, his mother used to pick him up from school. On the way home, they would sometimes meet other classmates and their parents. One time, while chatting, a classmate’s mother jokingly said to Yan Xuming’s mother, “Xiao Yan is so handsome. How about he becomes our son-in-law in the future?”

Yan Xuming, being young and unaware of adult humor, was quite c0cky. He crossed his arms and replied, “Then you should line up. Just the other day, Liu Xiaoru also said she wanted to marry me.”

His response made both mothers burst into laughter.

He had been a class monitor all the way up to now. Children in elementary and middle school were the most difficult to manage; sometimes even teachers couldn’t control them, let alone class monitors. But what was strange was that while other class monitors would bang the blackboard eraser against the board, shouting, “Stop talking, be quiet,” when the classroom still sounded like a market, Yan Xuming never did such things.

He just needed to casually say as he passed by the platform, “Alright ah, that’s enough chatting, time to get back to studying.” Initially, people laughed at him for lacking authority compared to other class monitors, but despite that, they listened well. The classroom would quickly quiet down, and everyone would bury themselves in their studies.

Yan Xuming had a peculiar aura about him. He was suited to be a leader, setting the pace for everyone. No matter what he chose, everyone seemed to trust him unconditionally. Many people tried to imitate him, copying his actions and words exactly, but they just couldn’t seem to get it right.

So Yan Xuming really hadn’t expected someone to make such a big mistake at such an important occasion as the freshmen orientation, reading his own speech in front of him. Mai Dong on the stage looked impatient, speaking quickly and with no passion or enthusiasm in his tone, clearly wanting to quickly get through the task of representing the freshmen.

Yan Xuming knew that this freshman named Mai Dong couldn’t possibly be intentionally provoking. It was just too coincidental. He had randomly copied a speech from the internet, which happened to be the one he himself had written last year. At the time, Yan Xuming found it amusing, even feeling that the two of them were really destined.

Talented people always recognize each other; it’s only natural. Yan Xuming had always been quite eager to get to know Mai Dong.

But Maidong didn’t give him this opportunity.

This person was truly strange. Consistently ranking first in academics, he neither became a class monitor nor assisted teachers with errands. He never participated in any major competitions or activities. Yan Xuming had initially planned to find some opportunity, like a competition, to formally get to know Mai Dong. However, he had dragged his feet for half a year without finding such an opportunity.

It wasn’t until the first parent-teacher conference after Mai Dong’s enrollment, which was after the end-of-year exams in his first year of high school, that Mai Dong’s grandfather, dressed in old and dirty clothes, came to attend the conference.

At that time, Yan Xuming happened to be standing in front of the end-of-year honor roll board. On the left side was the honor roll for the first-year students, with Mai Dong’s name prominently at the top. In the middle was the honor roll for the second-year students, with Yan Xuming’s name naturally occupying the first position.

“Hey, have you heard? It seems Mai Dong’s family is quite poor. I heard his grandfather is a garbage collector. He came to the parent-teacher conference without even changing his clothes.”

“Ah? He came wearing clothes from garbage collection ah? Don’t they have a single clean outfit at home? They could at least wash them ah, geez.”

Upon hearing those words, Yan Xuming instinctively furrowed his brows. He took two steps forward and cleared his throat, “Other people’s family backgrounds are private matters. Don’t say such things in private.”

The two individuals were startled by Yan Xuming’s reaction. They quickly muttered, “Sorry, senior,” and hurried away.

Seeing is believing. Yan Xuming deliberately used the excuse of delivering some documents to go to Mai Dong’s class, where the parent-teacher conference was being held. Upon entering, he scanned the room and indeed spotted a grandfather who looked out of place compared to the other parents, both in attire and demeanor.

Yan Xuming couldn’t help but reshape his impression of Mai Dong. He realized that Mai Dong’s family situation was like this. The aloof and independent xueba instantly transformed into a pitiful figure, filled with insecurity and unable to open up to others.

Fortunately, this rumor was quickly dispelled.

One rainy day after school, Yan Xuming was concerned that no one would come to pick up Mai Dong, so he brought two umbrellas with him, intending to find Mai Dong. However, he watched as Mai Dong got into a car and drove away. While the car wasn’t luxurious by Mai Dong’s family standards—just a vehicle casually bought by his grandmother a few years ago—it still required saving up for an average family.

As Mai Dong got into the car in the pouring rain, leaving Yan Xuming standing at the school gate holding another umbrella, Yan Xuming couldn’t help but chuckle to himself and muttered, “F*ck,” under his breath.

The two still didn’t have a chance to meet. Yan Xuming didn’t have much time to dwell on these matters every day. His attention to Mai Dong was subconscious; he would always ask about who was on the list of participants in competitions, check where Mai Dong’s name was on the honor roll, and whether his position had improved or declined.

During his senior year, Yan Xuming participated in the school sports meet. After completing the relay race, he was so exhausted that he felt like his lungs were about to burst. Even though some athletes from Class Four were participating, he hadn’t managed to snatch first place, despite putting in almost all of his effort. He exchanged a fist bump and a couple of playful insults with another runner.

As the sound of the starting gun echoed again on the other side of the field, Yan Xuming glanced at the time. “I’m going over there and have a look.”

His friend called after him, “Where are you going ah? You just finished running, take a rest.”

But Yan Xuming didn’t wait for him to finish speaking. He was already too far away, waving goodbye with his back towards them.

This was Mai Dong’s first time participating in a group activity. When Yan Xuming found the list of participants from the sophomore year, he was genuinely surprised. He noted the time for the two-person three-legged race and calculated that he could just make it in time. However, as soon as he arrived, he saw Mai Dong and his partner fall to the ground together.

Yan Xuming furrowed his brows, wanting to go over and check on them. But he hesitated, fearing that the aloof and studious xueshen might find it strange for a stranger to come over and show concern.

He hesitated for a moment, watching helplessly as Mai Dong stood up and then fell again. How can there be such a stupid person? Clearly, aside from studying, they didn’t do anything else, yet they insisted on participating in the two-person three-legged race.

Ignoring his reservations, Yan Xuming squatted beside Mai Dong and handed him a cotton swab.

Previously, when Li Shengnan asked him if he liked Mai Dong since high school, Yan Xuming’s response was ambiguous.

As Mai Dong took the cotton swab and looked at it, he seemed lost in thought, his eyes reddening. It was hard not to stir a protective instinct in any normal man. His wrists were very thin, and the swab seemed almost insignificant in his grasp. At that moment, Yan Xuming even felt the impulse to lift him up and carry him, but they were still strangers, and such an action might have seemed intrusive to Mai Dong. So he refrained.

Yan Xuming had never really considered the idea of liking or not liking someone. He and Mai Dong hadn’t even had the chance to meet, so how could there be any question of liking or not?

Whether it was Yan Xuming’s imagination or not, in the time after the sports meet, he seemed to keep catching glimpses of Mai Dong everywhere: in the cafeteria, the supermarket, and the bookstore at the school gate.

He had almost grown accustomed to catching sight of Mai Dong whenever he glanced around. Sometimes it was an accidental meeting of their eyes, sometimes it was his figure in the school uniform, and sometimes it was his blue backpack.

Yan Xuming always wanted to find an opportunity to greet Mai Dong, to formally get to know him. However, every time their eyes met, Mai Dong would quickly leave, leaving Yan Xuming feeling puzzled and even doubting himself, thinking that perhaps the aloof xueba disliked him.

After graduating from high school, when the exam results came out, the class teacher called Yan Xuming immediately. The teacher sounded excited, saying that Yan Xuming had secured first place in the entire district and second place in the city, missing the top spot by just four points, which was such a pity. Yan Xuming didn’t feel too disappointed, though. He was never careless; the points he lost were deservedly lost. If his grades weren’t as good as others, there was nothing to feel regretful about.

The teacher invited him to speak at the graduation ceremony and to offer some advice to the juniors who would be entering their senior year. The night before the ceremony, Yan Xuming sat at home writing his speech. As he wrote, he remembered Mai Dong standing on the stage two years ago, reading his own speech.

Thinking about it, Yan Xuming smiled. He felt that he had spent his three years of high school relatively smoothly. The only regret he had was not getting to know Mai Dong.

In the end, what kind of person is Mai Dong?

Yan Xuming had no understanding of him. Not only did he lack understanding, but he also lacked any means of understanding. This person was like a tightly guarded city, and no one could find the door to enter.