Category: I Really Didn’t Use a Voice Changer! [Online Game] (Page 2 of 2)

After No Money For Porridge spoke, the party became even quieter.

“Wait…” The chatterbox still couldn’t hold it in.

No Money For Porridge: “Where’s Jiaojiao? Who are you?”

Yu He thought for a few seconds, then suddenly understood what he meant. No Money For Porridge must have heard Jiaojiao’s voice before.

Well, that was perfect.

“I bought this account. I’m not the original owner, but none of you believe me,” Yu He heard himself say.

Just in time for that Voice Changer to hear it clearly. Maybe it would hurry up and break things off with him.

If he’d known it would be this easy to clear his name, why had he stripped naked and let people grind him down in levels?

The person involved expressed deep regret.

“Then where is she?” No Money For Porridge didn’t seem suspicious at all.

“I don’t know either. I don’t have her contact information.”

“…Alright then.”

The answer came too readily, the progress too smoothly. Yu He couldn’t help doubting it. “Wait, you just believe me? You’re not afraid I’m tricking you with a voice changer?”

No Money For Porridge sighed. “The way you two talk is completely different.”

And besides, this was obviously a coincidence. If it were really Jiaojiao, she wouldn’t be facing this so calmly.

…

The old dog was beyond saving.

“Then… there’s some equipment she left behind here. It’s unbound. Take a look and see which ones are yours. I’ll give them back to you.” Yu He opened the bag with the blank name and got ready to read them out.

“No need. Just looking at it makes me uncomfortable. You paid for this account yourself. There’s no need to give anything back to me.” No Money For Porridge refused.

“Alright.” Yu He didn’t say anything more.

The party fell into a dead silence again.

“Ahem, how did you get in here?” Yu He cleared his throat, breaking the awkwardness.

“I saw you guys here just now, so I sent a party request out of habit. Didn’t expect it to get accepted,” No Money For Porridge explained.

He’d originally just planned to wander around the Beiyuan aimlessly. The last time he and Jiaojiao saw each other before their falling-out was right here… And yet he’d ended up running into these two people, plus an unfamiliar qin player.

“I must’ve accidentally clicked Accept…” Yu Guo, who had been quiet as a chicken, finally got a chance to speak.

The party request window in Xianxia Online was especially weird: Accept was on the right and Reject on the left. People always ended up tapping “Reject” by mistake. No one knew what the designer was thinking.

This time, she had just been rejecting Voice Changer’s gifted items, clicked a few extra times, and ended up pulling No Money For Porridge into the party.

Well… that was kind of an ironic accident?

If they’d known that just turning on the mic would clear things up, what was there to be afraid of? They could’ve just had Yu He shout a couple of times and be done with it.

Still, this was pretty convenient. If they’d deliberately tried to clear things up, those people wouldn’t have believed it.

“Voice… there’s someone else?” After waiting for ages without hearing Voice Changer speak, Yu He finally couldn’t hold it in.

“Shh.” Voice Changer said nothing else.

With that single “shh,” the surrounding background music suddenly changed, the screen gradually darkened, and specks of firefly light slowly rose from the ground, dancing with the snow. It was beautiful beyond words.

What was going on?

[Loudspeaker]Congratulations to players “He-jiang,” “Doting on He-jiang,” “Guojiang,” and “No Money For Porridge” for discovering Beiyuan’s hidden dungeon: Fireflies.

The entire world was shaken.

[World][My Eyes Hurt QAQ]: ???? What’s going on?? Am I blind?? Why are these three together??

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: ?

[World][Mingyue nmsl]: ?

[World][Milk Candy Plus Cola]: This… is kind of exciting

[World][Midnight Snacks Won’t Make You Fat]: Who faked the loudspeaker (?) Scared the fvck out of me

[World][Escort-Robbing Pro]: Hidden dungeon? The Beiyuan one?? Holy shit??

[World][Don’t Want To Study]: Slowly types a?

[World][No Money For Porridge]: …

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: Porridge, were you kidnapped?

[World][No Money For Porridge]: No…

[Loudspeaker][Doting on He-jiang]: Buying bottles with caps, any amount is fine

There was one nice thing about Xianxia Online: Once you added someone as a friend, you could directly trade or gift items. No need to meet face-to-face, and no need to pick them up from a courier.

So every day, the world chat was full of small loudspeakers asking to buy or sell things.

It was just that… the person using the loudspeaker this time was Voice Changer…

[World][Mingyue nmsl]: You’ve got some nerve coming here to buy stuff.

[World][Luoyang Flying Snow]: Are these items needed for the hidden dungeon?

[World][Linear Algebra]: I giao, there really is a hidden dungeon in Beiyuan. Official devs nmd.¹Cursing at the devsYou said the map was unfinished, you lied to me QAQ

[World][March Wind]: This is insane… Remember today: the three gathered together, and a hidden dungeon was cleared

[World][Mimi Lying in Mom’s Arms Counting Stars]: What’s the use of bottles with caps… matching this with a hidden dungeon feels way too low-tier, doesn’t it?

[World][Folding Fan Opera Player]: Doting on He-jiang, open up your friend request permissions already

[World][Guji]: No idea what you can get from it, emmm

[World][Lolo Duck]: Looking forward to it, the rewards from Xianxia Online’s hidden dungeons are always pretty good

[World][September Past]: If I remember correctly… The last hidden dungeon was discovered by Tang Chao

[World][Hehehe]: So… Why did these three discover the hidden dungeon together… Who is Guojiang?

[World][Guji]: She’s the cutie from our guild

[World][The World Is Going Downhill]: … From Chang’an?

[World][Yingyingying]: Aren’t all four of them from Chang’an?

[World][Holmes X]:?? Isn’t Guojiang the qin player who previously formed a bond with Tang Chao?

[World][Who Am I Where Am I]: Holy shit?

[World][Holmes X]:Then they broke up…

Not everyone liked watching gossip. Some people were just here to experience the game. With a hidden dungeon popping up, of course, they had to shout about it.

Gradually, the World Chat split into two camps: One watching the gossip, the other camping the dungeon.

Tang Shaoqing picked up his phone, which had been vibrating nonstop. His WeChat messages had been flooded.

Gu: Old Tang, how did you trigger a hidden dungeon again

Gu: The GM is coming to look for you

Gu: Wait, didn’t Wei Yun poach you over? Doesn’t that mean you’re basically the GM now (?)

Gu: Isn’t this against the rules

Tang: … This time it really was triggered by accident

Gu: ? Can’t you do something to save the situation

Tang: This dungeon looks pretty nice. I want to take photos here with him

Gu: …

---

Author’s Note:

GM means game master/game administrator.
Weiyun, the Weiyun Group—you get it! www
www Gu Qiyun × Wei Mian²Characters from the author’s other novel. Haven’t checked, really.

---

Jie Jie: Thank you so much for your patience! I’ve been busy irl, but got it solved now. This jj is now hired! Woooh! Okay, that’s all. A win to share. Here’s a ✨ job dust ✨ to anyone who needs it! 💜

It was pretty fun.

Yu He stared at the “kitten acting cute” sticker and curved his lips into a smile. The clingy little softie from childhood, he had no idea what he’d grown up to look like now.

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: It’s fine.

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: If anything comes up, just come to me. Don’t worry about bothering me. I’m pretty free.

With fewer classes in his third year and no rush to graduate, work, or prep for grad school, of course, he was free.

Tang: Okay.

Tang: [Kitten kiss]

Of course, there was no fear of being a bother; he even wanted to ♂ bother ♂ him ♂ even ♂ more so.”¹The insertion of ♂ turns the word bother into a suggestive double entendre.

After reminiscing for a bit, the two of them went off to grab lunch. Tang Shaoqing really hadn’t changed much from when he was a kid. He was still pretty cute.

In the afternoon, Yu He went to class for a while, then listened to his dormmates rant nonstop all the way until the end of class.

The dorm head’s mom had recently remarried, which has been a real pain. The stepdad brought back a younger son, and they had to listen to that idiot stepbrother brag every single day.

The guys in the dorm were all pretty decent. It was just that Yu He needed to record audio and do voice acting sessions; doing that in front of people was awkward.

When his dad found out, he just waved a hand and arranged a small apartment for him. Yu He felt a bit uncomfortable about it. After all, being able to buy an apartment just like that was way too extravagant. To outsiders, he only said he was renting.

That evening, the dorm mates went to the plaza to grab a small meal together, chatting from games to girls, and from girls to Yu He.

“Old Four ah, you’re already a third year now. You’ve gotta find a partner sooner or later, right? If even our dorm’s top looker doesn’t get taken, we’ve got no chance at all.” Dorm Head Liu Baobao patted his shoulder meaningfully.

Yu He was good-looking, especially with those slightly upturned peach-blossom eyes, gentle and warm, and ridiculously attractive. He’d once been dragged by the anime club to wear hanfu for recruitment, and a bunch of girls had fought over his contact info.

Unfortunately, he’d successfully turned that whole pack of watchful girls into just friends, never crossing the line even a little.

“Maybe later,” Yu He mumbled, taking a bite of cheese corn.

If there were someone suitable, who would actually want to stay a pitiful single dog?

“Why haven’t you been gaming lately? We’re waiting for you for sweet squad matches, He-jiang.” Lu Nan and Lu Bei were twins, and by some stroke of luck, they pretty much got into the same university and even used connections to get assigned to the same dorm.

Just hearing that nickname made Yu He mad.

“I’m socially dead. Don’t feel like playing.”

It wasn’t just being socially withdrawn; he practically wanted to quit the game altogether.

Now, whenever he saw that name, he immediately thought of the three huge words “Doting on He-jiang,” which filled his mind and refused to go away.

“New season’s coming soon. We should find a top-tier jungle big brother to carry us four sisters to the King rank.” Liu Baobao opened his phone and glanced at his □□. In the dorm group chat, the member list showed four profile pics of girls in lolita dresses, neatly lined up.

“A top-tier jungle little brother works too.”

“Hehehehehe.”

Men’s pleasures really were that plain and simple.

After some idle chatter, Yu He slipped back to his small apartment, fed the cat, then sat down at his computer and logged into the game.

Another hot post had appeared on the forum—

[Let’s Appreciate the Couple Names of White Lotus and Voice Changer]

1F: White Lotus changed to “He-jiang,” and Voice Changer changed to “Doting on He-jiang.” My brain short-circuited

2F: …Feels like I time-traveled into some MOBA game

3F: srsly though, name-change cards are 99 RMB each. They’re rich as hell QAQ

4F: LOL, what are those two still hopping around for?

5F: To be fair, White Lotus really went too far, but Voice Changer actually seems like a decent person… Yeah, scamming isn’t right, but isn’t gaming just about having fun? A game romance doesn’t mean a real couple. Putting a bounty on White Lotus is one thing, but putting one on Voice Changer is too much, isn’t it?

6F: First, it’s scamming about voice, later it’ll be scamming for money. The scam failed before it even started

7F: That’s a bit of a conspiracy theory, ah

8F: I’m Mingyue nmsl. Voice Changer made my best friend quit the game. Is it wrong for me to put a bounty on him?

10F: I kinda agree… Isn’t the internet all about an ambiguous charm? If no real feelings were deceived and it was just a game romance, it really isn’t that serious

11F: Honestly, same… orz

…

The thread eventually veered completely into attacking “Voice Changer.” Yu He wasn’t interested in him, so he stopped scrolling.

He logged into the game. Voice Changer wasn’t online. Yu He quietly slipped out of the manor and met up with Yu Guo in secret.

Yu Guo’s ID was Guojiang; a mature female Qin player avatar, towering far above his little loli character.

[“Guojiang” has invited you to join the party]

Accept. Accept.

“Bro.” Teaming up allowed voice chat, but in-game voice often lagged, so people usually went to YY for dungeon runs.

“Don’t let anyone find out,” Yu He laughed.

“It’s fine. Let’s go to Beiyuan.²Lit. North Plains No one basically goes there.

Beiyuan was a vast snow-covered region. There were no quest points, no NPCs, no bosses, and the journey was long. You had to buy a six-yuan pass just to get there, so almost no one ever went.

Some people still refused to give up, convinced there had to be hidden treasure inside, but since the map update, no one had farmed anything there.

In the end, it just quietly faded away.

“I’m exhausted. Military training is driving me insane.” The two of them just idled and chatted in Beiyuan.

“Hang in there, it’ll pass. It won’t take long.”

“By the way, why did you suddenly change your name?” Yu Guo was still pretty surprised when she saw it.

He-jiang, He-jiang… truly worthy of being her bro.

Yu He fell silent.

There was no way he could say it was because of Voice Changer provoking him, right?

“Are you planning to keep playing on this account long-term?” Yu Guo asked again.

After all, name-change cards were 99 RMB each. If this account was just meant as a temporary one, there was no need to change the name at all.

He actually hadn’t thought about that.

“The name-change card was given to me by Voice Changer,” Yu He said after thinking for a moment, telling the truth.

“Huh?” Now it was Yu Guo’s turn to be shocked.

Yu He briefly explained what had happened. Yu Guo rubbed her chin. “That Voice Changer guy is pretty devoted… Who would’ve thought? Unexpected taste, for real.”

“Probably something wrong with his brain,” Yu He said bluntly.

“Does his voice sound good?”

“It’s okay, I guess. He’s still using a voice changer, though.”

As they were talking, a romance alert suddenly popped up on the screen.

Yu He: “…”

How the hell do you even cancel this stupid thing?

“Hello?”

“Your husband’s here…”

Voice Changer’s voice overlapped with Yu Guo’s, and a black-clad assassin appeared beside them.

Husband, my ass.

Yu He felt the vein on his forehead start throbbing.

[Player “Doting on He-jiang” has requested to join the party]

Yu Guo thought for a moment, then clicked Accept.

Tang Shaoqing stared at the familiar name “Guojiang,” the smile at the corner of his lips unmistakable. After casually turning off the romance alert, he opened team voice chat. “How did you end up here?”

Guoguo: giao,³OMG/Gyaah/Aaah his voice is so nice QAQ

Guoguo: I also want to be friends with Voice Changer

Guoguo: Even if it’s fake happiness

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: ?

Sis, wake up.

Yu He took a deep breath and spoke in a female voice: “This is my younger sister. She pulled me into the pit a few days ago. This account was bought just a few days ago, too.”

I’m really not the original owner. Can we divorce this marriage already?

“So it’s your younger sister.” The voice from the other end of the computer sounded thoughtful.

Yu He: “?”

Did you completely miss the point, little idiot?

Guoguo: [Screenshot]

Guoguo: ? woc⁴Curse word.

The screenshot showed a transaction record:

[Player “Doting on He-jiang” sent you “Chasing Moon” ×1]

[Note: Welcome gift]

“Chasing Moon” was a newly released outfit set; you couldn’t get it without dropping at least 998.

Yu Guo panicked and trembled as she smashed the Reject button a few times.

It felt like she was selling her bro or something…

She wasn’t that kind of person!

“Heard there’s a hidden dungeon here. Want to go check it out?” Voice Changer didn’t push the gift.

“I’m going to sleep…” As soon as the words left his mouth, Yu He glanced at the time in the bottom-right corner of the screen: 8:40 p.m.

…That was fake as hell.

Just as the world fell into a moment of complete silence, a man’s voice with a slightly hoarse tone suddenly rang out: “Who are you?”

Yu He jolted in fright, almost letting out his real voice with a “holy shit.”

“… Who?” Yu Guo froze for a second.

“Me,” the voice answered.

Yu Guo: “Who are you…?”

It’s that No Money For Porridge guy.

Why is he even in the party??

---

Author’s Note:

When Tang Shaoqing was a child, he really hated Yu He’s cousin, Yu Guo, due to a kind of “only I can be the brother” possessiveness.

The current Tang Shaoqing…_(:з」∠)_ please give him lots of support.

Here’s a content warning: If you’re bothered that the shou’s younger sister hired the gong for a booster/relationship quest rewards, or where the gong can conveniently use a main account to form a game bond with her, you might want to skip this story. qwq

That’s how it’s set up: After completing the quest, the gong ends the relationship in-game, which allows the later plot to happen. If this really bothers you or you can’t accept it, it’s better to stop reading.

 

 

In Xianxia Online, players can have their own residences. If you have a bond, after getting married at the Matchmaker, you can even build a shared residence, basically like a marital home.

Just like guild grounds in the capital, residences are also safe zones. Red-named players won’t be attacked here.

What can a residence be used for? Incubating and raising spirit beasts, cultivating spiritual herbs, and even digging ponds to raise fish. Overall, it’s quite player-friendly.

“It’s fine now.” Mingyue put away the mount, and the two of them stood together in the courtyard.

Yu He didn’t speak. He’d originally planned to divorce immediately, but ever since Mingyue had called him “wife,” Yu He had felt that things didn’t seem so simple.

World Chat was still clamoring, nothing more than people cursing Jiaojiao and Mingyue for being a pair of dog men and women who ran away too fast.

Yu He cleared his throat lightly and continued using the female voice. “I need to tell you something.”

“Mm.” Tang Shaoqing curled his lips.

“This account was something I bought yesterday. I don’t know if the previous owner told you.” He’d originally planned to use Jiaojiao’s identity to get close to Tang Chao, but thinking about it now, the cost of using this identity was way too high.

“Stop lying to me. Don’t I know you by now?” Tang Shaoqing chuckled softly.

Yu He: “??”

“I’ll farm the gear, I’ll buy the spirit beasts, I’ll spend money on the outfits. Wife, don’t run anymore.”

It sounded exactly like a domineering CEO’s line from an old-school romance novel, and he was the delicate little wife who’d run away carrying 108 babies.

This Mingyue guy was a fool.

“If you don’t believe me, I can show you the transaction records.”

“Mm, I get it.”

“??”

“I’m really not Jiaojiao.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“How about I change my name and we get divorced?”

“Changing your name is fine. Divorce is out of the question.”

As he finished speaking, a trade window popped up on the screen—

[Player Mingyue has gifted you 1x ‘Name Change Card’]

[Accept or Decline]

F*.

Furious, Yu He changed his name on the spot.

Just like his other in-game names, they were simple, two characters: “He-jiang.¹This is similar to -chan in Japanese. I decided to use the Chinese pinyin for this, rather than using Japanese, since, well, it’s Chinese, lol. Add a pink loli avatar, and it was perfect, neatly matching the three X-jiang Princesses in his dorm.

Flamboyant enough.

A man’s idea of cuteness was just that plain and unpretentious.

Staring at the two words “He-jiang,” the curve of Tang Shaoqing’s lips grew wider and wider. He casually transferred another name-change card from his main account and changed his name to: “Doting on He-jiang,” fully inheriting the fine tradition of couple usernames from a certain MOBA.

Yu He stared at those three words and felt that the game ID he’d used for years had been tainted.

“Wife?” Seeing Yu He stay silent for a long time, Tang Shaoqing called out with a laugh.

“…” Screw off. He didn’t want to see him right now.

Fuming, Yu He logged off immediately.

His experience bar was still just a little short of level 99. The marriage hadn’t even been dissolved. And his username had been ruined.

He was absolutely furious.

On the other side of the screen, Tang Shaoqing took a sip of milk tea. Watching the person vanish instantly, and the avatar turn gray. He couldn’t help feeling a bit annoyed.

Maybe he’d teased him too hard. Would his big brother quit the account altogether?

Yet after the annoyance came a mouthful of sweetness.

In a few days, he’d be able to see his big brother in person.

Just then, the phone on the desk suddenly vibrated a few times. He picked it up and saw the caller ID: “Gu Qiyun.”

Gu Qiyun, President Gu, the boss of Xianxia Online. He was also Tang Shaoqing’s direct senior from school, though already graduated. A pretty impressive guy. The game company he founded, Weiyun, had gone public only a few years ago and had already become an industry leader.

With his career established and his love life just as smooth, he was a man who had already registered his marriage and hadn’t been defeated by the world.

The two of them got along well. As for Tang Shaoqing liking Yu He, he was the only one who knew.

“Hello?” Tang Shaoqing set the cup down and lifted the phone to his ear.

“What, in a great mood?”

“Pretty good. Something nice happened.”

“Does it have to do with him?”

“Mm.” Tang Shaoqing’s voice carried a smile, but he didn’t elaborate.

Since he clearly didn’t want to talk about it, Gu Qiyun didn’t press the issue and smoothly steered the conversation back to work. “How’s it looking after the optimization?”

“Pretty good. I picked up a few booster jobs, and I also found and fixed some minor, nonessential bugs.” Tang Shaoqing switched his computer screen to a three-window view of his alt accounts. One alt, a healer, was still in the middle of running newbie quests and hadn’t reached max level yet.

Standing beside the alt was an assassin named “Tang Chao,” decked out in discontinued, limited-edition gear that practically radiated the scent of RMB, having just finished cleaning up a ring of red-named boss mobs for a quest.

“Alright. I’ll leave it to you, then.”

“Don’t worry.”

“You’ll be heading back to the main campus soon, right?”

“Yeah.”

“The spicy hotpot there is pretty good.”

“Got it, got it.”

Over on Yu He’s side, he shut down the game. For a moment, he didn’t know what to do next. He’d already submitted his raw voice lines, and he couldn’t be bothered to pick up a new project. So he went to the dorm group chat to trash-talk for a bit, set up a weekend meal, and, feeling quite satisfied, scooped up his cat and started petting it.

Halfway through the petting, a video call suddenly came in.

It was his mom.

“Mom.” Yu He sat up straighter with Orange in his arms, no longer as relaxed as before.

Growing up, the total time he’d spent with his parents probably didn’t even add up to two or three years. He’d been raised by nannies the whole time, so he was honestly not very used to her regular calls.

“Has Orange put on weight again?” Mother Yu’s skin was very well cared for. In her 40s, she still looked like she was in her early thirties. With light makeup on, she looked as if she’d just gotten home.

“Yes. It’s pretty heavy now, I can barely hold it.” Yu He rubbed the cat’s head.

“How about buying a treadmill? You two can run together when you’re free.”

“I’m not fat.”

“Then let Orange use it.”

When it came to his mom’s habit of wanting to buy him all sorts of expensive things, Yu He, who’d been raised frugally for many years, still wasn’t quite used to it.

Laughing it off, he skipped past the topic. Then Mother Yu added, “Do you still remember Tang Shaoqing?”

Tang Shaoqing?

The name sounded extremely familiar, yet for a moment, he couldn’t quite recall the face that went with it.

Tang Shaoqing was a financially disadvantaged student whom his parents had sponsored. He’d heard that a lot had gone wrong in his family. His father had gone to prison, his mother had run off, and his relatives all watched coldly from the sidelines, none of them willing to take him in. He also had a sick grandmother at home.

It was probably back in elementary school. One day, his dad suddenly brought home a little steamed bun; skinny and tiny, a stark contrast to Yu He, who had been so chubby as a kid he’d looked like a little ball.

Later, the two of them evened out. Yu He slimmed down and grew more and more well-proportioned, while Tang Shaoqing was no longer so thin.

They played together throughout all of elementary school. Later, Tang Shaoqing was taken away by his grandmother. It was also Yu He’s father who paid for her medical treatment. Although she didn’t recover completely, she got better by 70% or 80%.

After they were separated, the two of them kept in touch a little. Not often, but they never forgot about each other.

After high school, Yu He moved into the dorms, attending an ordinary senior high school. Tang Shaoqing, on the other hand, seemed to have gotten into a top school. Yu He often heard his name mentioned by others.

And just like that, they gradually lost contact.

“What’s up with Tang Shaoqing?”

Why did she suddenly bring him up?

“He came by with his grandma earlier to drop off some things. That kid’s really grown into a looker now; completely different from when he was little.”

“Oh.” Yu He lowered his head and tried to recall what Tang Shaoqing had looked like as a child. The memory was already a bit blurry. All he really remembered was the little guy following behind him, calling him ‘big brother,’ and being very well-behaved.

“He got into University A, majoring in computer science. He’ll be moving to the main campus in his sophomore year, right next door to you.”

Damn, that was impressive.

City A’s famous 985²Launched in 1998, hence 985 = year 98 and month 5, so May 1998. Equivalent to Ivy League. university was University A, one of the top-ranked schools in the country.

Their own University D was at best just a regular university, not even a 211.³211 Project started in 1995. Less prestigious than 985 but better than ordinary unis. Equivalent to second-tier elite. By coincidence, or misfortune, it happened to be right next to University A, separated only by a snack plaza.

“He’ll be moving over in a few days. Help him settle in when he does, alright? I’ll send you his WeChat.”

“Okay.” Yu He was actually quite curious about this childhood playmate.

Yu He opened the WeChat contact his mom had forwarded and sent a friend request.

Tang Shaoqing’s WeChat was very simple. He hadn’t even set a custom ID. It was still the default string of complicated numbers.

The request was accepted pretty quickly, almost instantly.

Tang: Big brother?

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: It’s me

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: When are you moving over? I’ll come pick you up.

Tang: Probably after the National Day holiday

Tang: Sorry to trouble you, big brother.

Tang: [Kitten acting cute]

---

Author’s Note:

Guess who the kitten acting cute.jpg was stolen from.

---

Jie Jie: Apologies for the late update! Got too busy! TT

There weren’t many classes the next day. Yu He lazed in bed for a long time before getting up. Now that he was in his third year, there were far fewer classes, which made it much easier for him to mess around.

After tidying up, Yu He sat back down in front of the computer and eagerly opened the game.

The first thing Yu He did after logging in was step out of the safe zone and let himself get reincarnated down one level, turning himself into a walking wild mob and happily embarking on the path of open-world PvP.

Anyway, he was a red-named player and could attack others freely. After dropping a level, he wouldn’t get ganged up on. If he could win, he’d fight; if he couldn’t, he’d run. As a little healer, self-preservation wasn’t a problem. Worst case, he could just log out or revive back in the safe zone.

The experience bar from level 100 to 99 was painfully slow to drop. After dying too many times, he even had to wait a while before he could revive on the spot, so Yu He stood there naked for a long time before the bar finally dropped by about half.

Some unbound equipment got knocked off, but Yu He didn’t really care. Porridge didn’t pick up the loot; he only killed people.

As for some insignificant items, Yu He let them go. The more important ones, though… his 20 years of single-handed speed reflexes were no joke.

He’d already figured it out. All the unbound equipment had been sorted into an inventory called “Spare,” most of it likely scammed from people, probably intended to be resold later after the second class change.

Although he’d paid real money for this account and the price included those items, he still felt a twinge of regret, especially since some of them were limited editions he quite liked. Just seeing the word “spare” made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to bind them either, so he casually deleted the inventory’s name, leaving it blank.

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: ? Did your conscience kick in? Running naked to give back to society?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Not even resisting anymore?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Standing there letting me reincarnate you?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: ?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: If you’ve got the guts to let me reincarnate you, then have the guts to return my gear, ah

Yu He propped his head up with one hand, browsing the forum and reading Porridge and Jiaojiao’s 818 drama while waiting for Porridge Bro to kill him. Once he was done killing, Yu He would conveniently click revive on the spot.

This guy was really persistent. He didn’t run quests, didn’t flirt with girls, just followed Jiaojiao around every day. True love, honestly.

As the killing went on, the screen suddenly froze. The HP bar was still full. The monk and the bunny-eared loli stood face-to-face, staring at each other.

Passersby who couldn’t tell what was going on didn’t dare step forward rashly. The bounty was tempting, but in this small jianghu, feelings still outweighed profit.

Everyone knew about the grudge between Porridge and Jiaojiao.

Among all of Jiaojiao’s spare tires, Porridge was the one who’d fallen the deepest. He farmed whatever gear Jiaojiao wanted, bought whatever pets she wanted, and even when Jiaojiao flirted with others and then sweet-talked him afterward, he believed it; like a textbook simp.

If it weren’t for Zhizi Yugui, who later on put out a server-wide bounty and a whole bunch of spare tires coming forward with their stories to denounce her, this guy would probably still be foolishly kept in the dark.

After all, he wasn’t some RMB big spender. Losing both money and feelings, who could take that? Even a monk couldn’t handle it.

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: You dead yet? If not, say something

……

After finishing the 818 thread, Yu He felt deeply sympathetic. He glanced at the bag that used to be called spare, then slowly moved the mouse—

[Current][Jiaojiao]: Which equipment is yours? I’ll return it to you

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: ?

As that question mark appeared, the little loli went plop and collapsed, turning into a rabbit, and the screen grayed out along with her.

Yu He: “?”

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Trying to brush me off like a beggar?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Can you really compensate for some things?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: You really love keeping a fish pond that much? Is scamming people fun? Doesn’t your conscience hurt?

The chatty monk kept typing as he continued reincarnating him.

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Get lost

60 seconds later, Yu He calmly revived on the spot, turned around, and left. He hadn’t even taken a few steps before the monk smashed down on him again.

Staring at the experience bar that was almost at the bottom, Yu He revealed a relieved smile.

Finally, about to drop to level 99.

However, things didn’t go as planned. The tide turned; someone slashed a large chunk off the monk’s HP. After struggling a few times, the monk collapsed with a crash. A familiar ID stepped on the monk’s corpse and walked toward him.

Jiaojiao’s husband—Mingyue.

Logically speaking, although assassins have high burst damage, dealing with a tanky monk should take some time. But this guy’s positioning was slick, his skills precise. Against someone as clumsy as Porridge, it only took a few moves to finish him off.

Yet with Mingyue’s appearance, a flock of magpies suddenly popped up on the screen.

[Romance Alert connecting~]

[Connection successful!]

? What the hell was that.

Yu He’s heart jumped.

After that bizarre Romance Alert connected successfully, besides the game’s background music, there was a faint sound of a spoon lightly tapping against glass coming from the computer. Just as Yu He held his breath, the sound abruptly stopped.

“Meow~” Just as Yu He was frantically searching the screen for a hang-up button, his orange cat suddenly slipped into the bedroom and climbed onto his lap.

On the other side of the screen, Tang Shaoqing, who had been about to hang up the Romance Alert, paused for a moment, then turned on the voice changer. “Hello?”

The voice was quite alluring. It had come as a free add-on when Mingyue sold him the account. He’d originally planned to use it to mess with a few idiots, but hadn’t expected it to come in handy for something serious.

“Cough… Hello…?” In a moment of panic, Yu He hastily faked a voice using the female lead from the radio drama he’d just worked on, soft and gentle.

Tang Shaoqing froze for two seconds when he heard the voice, then curled his lips, the delight in his eyes impossible to hide. “Wife, you finally decided to turn on your mic.”

???

Yu He felt his entire face fill with question marks.

Unfortunately, before he could think it through, a loudspeaker suddenly appeared at the top of the screen—

[Loudspeaker][No Money for Porridge]: White Lotus and the voice changer are at Taoyao, coordinates (123, 456)

Then he looked again at the monk, who had already revived on the spot but wasn’t moving at all…

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: [Smile] Voice-changer bro is here

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: nb ah

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Adulterer and adulteress gathered in one place

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: What are you doing there, staring at each other? Haven’t had enough yet

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: ?

……

As a chatterbox, after saying so much and being completely ignored, there was no way he wouldn’t be mad. Unfortunately, he couldn’t beat Mingyue, so he could only choose to summon his buddies.

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: I giao],¹Similar to woc, I f****. I’m coming

[World][Mingyue nmsl]: Good brother, I’ve been waiting so long for you to finally log in.

[World][Luo Yan]: ^ ^ All the healers and qin masters from the guild are here, reviving you one by one and reincarnating you all the way down to level 1

[World][Hehehe]: ? That’s brutal

[World][Finished Eating Melons]: Does this kind of operation actually exist?

[World][Luelue]: Where’s Zhizi Yugui? Why is Luo Yan handling it?

[World][Luo Yan]: He’s busy and not around. Anyone can handle it

[World][ [Milk You Once²Lit. Milk you in one bite. Fig. Heal you once.]: Honestly speaking… Jiaojiao’s just got bad character, flits around, and flirts everywhere. Your bond cheating also means he’s partly at fault himself, right? Is it really necessary to keep targeting Jiaojiao like this?

[World][All My Ships Came True]: Eating melons, eating melons

Healers have skills that can revive people, but their hand speed has to be fast, and the cooldown is long. They have to revive someone before that person returns to camp to revive. Otherwise, the target will escape.

As for qin masters, they’re control types. Right after revival, they immobilize you. The stun duration lasts a long time, and even if someone else pulls aggro, the control remains. One gets stun after another; unless you’re literally hacking, you won’t be able to run.

Yu He swallowed hard. He really didn’t have confidence in taking on multiple opponents alone. Being reincarnated was fine, but dropping items was a huge pain.

If he’d known, he would’ve just bound all the equipment in the spare inventory. What was there to feel uncomfortable about? Why pick a fight with money?

[Mingyue invites you to join the party]

[Accept or Decline]

Yu He didn’t think much and clicked accept.

[Mingyue invites you to ride together.]

Accept, accept.

By the time everyone arrived one after another, Yu He had already followed Mingyue back to the safe zone, Jiaojiao and Mingyue’s residence.

---

Jie Jie: Hi guys! Sorry for the late post! I went out yesterday with friends TT

Yu He stared at the question mark, feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: What’s wrong?

Guoguo: …

Guoguo: You’d better not log into the game

Too late.

He was already logged in.

The last place this account had logged out was Luming, said to be the most scenic place in Xianxia Online, a spot famous as a dating paradise.

However, before Yu He even had time to appreciate the scenery, he was… hacked to death.

After death, members of the demon race turn into spirit beast forms. Yu He watched helplessly as the pink-dressed loli collapsed with a puff and turned into a short-eared rabbit.

[You have been killed by player [No Money for Porridge]]

… Slowly typed out a “?”

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Hehe, you still dare to log in. I’ve been camping you for a whole week

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Where’s that voice changer husband of yours?

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Call him online. I’ll send the two of you a reincarnation gift pack

[Current][No Money for Porridge]: Don’t be shy about it

This guy called “No Money for Porridge” was a Shaolin, standing on his corpse and mocking him like crazy, even using those sleazy “shy-shy” emotes. Paired with the monk character model, it was truly a sight to behold.

Yu He didn’t revive and didn’t bother with him either. Instead, he switched back to the chat window with Yu Guo and prepared to receive the baptism.

Guoguo: …This Jiaojiao is a well-known sea king white lotus in Chang Xiang Si. She flirts with a bunch of guys to get gear, calling everyone “husband.” Makes me sick

Guoguo: Originally, it wasn’t a big deal, just a woman with bad character who flits from one to another. But unfortunately, she scammed Zhizi Yugui. He’s an RMB whale¹Players who spends a lot of real currency on a game. and cares about his face, so he directly put out a bounty and got her reincarnated so hard she was almost unplayable

Guoguo: Later, the whole server knew about her, and all her backup boyfriends came forward too

Guoguo: Oh, right, she’s also in the same guild as me… No idea why she was never kicked

Guoguo: Probably because the guild leader himself is a sea king

Guoguo: Sigh, calling our guild a scum guild is actually pretty fitting. The guild leader, Tang Chao, is scum himself, plus those two weirdos, Jiaojiao and Mingyue

Guoguo: Oh yeah, there’s also an assassin called Mingyue who used a voice changer to scam a lot of girls…

Guoguo: But he’s a bit better. At least he doesn’t juggle multiple people. Once he formed a bond, he stopped being ambiguous with others. He’s just too Qiao Biluo²Famous female streamer who went viral for catfishing. She looked cute on camera using filters, but when she appearedin real life without filters, she looked different from her online persona.–like… I heard his real voice is really greasy.

Guoguo: Later, Jiaojiao and Mingyue suddenly tied the knot without a word. I heard it caused a sensation across the entire server, and some of the people who’d been scammed even spent money to come crash the wedding

Guoguo: Too bad I hadn’t joined the game back then, so I didn’t get to see it live.

Guoguo: There should be a lot of people putting bounties on Jiaojiao. She’s red-named, right? Check the bond list again and see if Mingyue is still there…

She was indeed red-named. Yu He fumbled around and opened the bond list, and sure enough, there was a name lying there called Mingyue. Thankfully, both the name and avatar were grayed out with an offline status.

Who knows whether he knew his wife had sold the account?

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: It’s there [screenshot]

Guoguo: …What now?

Guoguo: This guy’s a repeat offender. He’s done the buy-account-sell-account cicada-shedding trick several times already. If you say you’re not the original owner, no one’s going to believe you

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: I’ll just play it for now. I already bought it anyway, no refunds

Yu He wasn’t exactly heartbroken over the money. He just felt that it was quite a fateful encounter.

Though a rather ill-fated one, that is.

Guoguo: But if you want to practice your skills, you can try it (?)

Guoguo: After all, so many people are lining up to kill you. Just treat it as free playtime _(:з」∠)_ That Jiaojiao’s gear and cultivation are actually pretty good

Guoguo: Let them reincarnate you down one level first, then go 1v1 in the wild

Xianxia Online has a newbie-protection setting. Red-named players who haven’t reached max level can only be attacked by one person at a time.

This means that in the wild, as long as your skills are good enough, a red-name can roam freely, though many quests and events become unavailable.

Yu He: Okay, I’ll play for now. If it really doesn’t work out, we’ll figure something out later

Guoguo: Mm-hmm

Guoguo: But it really is pretty dramatic… Bro, go buy a lottery ticket. Maybe you’ll win a few million or something

It was dramatic, but sadly, it’s a Shakespearean tragedy.

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: I’ll go buy one this weekend. If I win, I’ll treat you to dinner during National Day

Guoguo: hhhh okay

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: It’s late, hurry up and go to sleep

Yu Guo replied with a “withered rose” and obediently went off to sleep. There was early training tomorrow. If she kept surfing the internet, she wouldn’t be able to get up.

Yu He switched back to the game and silently ran to the resurrection point to revive.

In the game, after dying, you can choose to revive on the spot, revive at the resurrection point, or be rescued by someone using a skill. Given the situation… it was better to behave and stay in the safe zone.

Under the monk’s mockery, Yu He slipped back to the capital city. The little rabbit turned back into a pink-dressed loli, the round rabbit ears on her head at first glance looking just like Totoro’s ears.

Although the name was still red, people couldn’t be attacked in the safe zone, nor could they fight.

Jiaojiao’s gear was all pretty good, and seeing the durability drop still made him quite distressed.

At this moment, a loudspeaker message suddenly appeared at the top of the screen—

[World][No Money for Porridge]: White Lotus Jiaojiao is online. I just killed her once in Luming. She should’ve revived back in the capital city

In-game loudspeakers require spending RMB to buy. This No Money for Porridge guy must have some deep-seated grudge against Jiaojao. Absolutely insane.

[World][Hehehe]: ? Finally online. Got my little stool ready

[World][A Lonely Dog]: Front row selling melon seeds, cola, soda

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl³nmsl = 你妈死了 lit. your mom is dead. Fig. f* you: If you’ve got the guts, stay in the capital city forever and don’t come out [smile]

[World][Mingyue nmsl]: Where’s your man, White Lotus?

[World][I’ll Do the Damage]: hhh when is the voice changer husband going to meet irl ah

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: Didn’t you say you checked the IPs and they’re together? Maybe it’s just one person

[World][Tonight With You]: Voice changers are way too powerful these days. I even thought Mingyue’s voice sounded nice before, but it’s so greasy now. Probably in his 40s or 50s… ugh

[World][No Money for Porridge]: Disgusting. If they’re really the same person, I’m f***g done for

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: Pat pat, Porridge bro. That’s tragic…

While Yu He was quietly lurking, another loudspeaker shook the entire world—

[Loudspeaker][Zhizi Yugui]: Continuing the bounty on player “Jiaojiao”.

Yu He opened the bounty board. It was sorted by bounty amount. Unsurprisingly, Jiaojiao was ranked first. Right after her, in second place, was the assassin called Mingyue. Tang Chao was nowhere to be seen.

… These two were way too 6⁴Impressive. Similar to when they say 666.. Might as well form a group and debut as the centers.

[World][Jiaojiao nmsl]: The tycoon is here

[World][No Money for Porridge]: Poor folks like me can only camp and reincarnate people 🙂

[World][Hehehe]: Front row freeloading against the RMB big shot

[World][Slept All Afternoon]: Even so, paying respects to the big shot. Big shot, need a leg accessory?

[World][Luo Yan]: Price raised

[World][I’ll Do the Damage]: The big shot’s wife is here

[World][Eating Duck Duck]: Freeloading!!

[World][What to Eat Tonight]: Thanks to White Lotus for supporting the entire server. Please, never quit

Yu He: …

Yu He didn’t dare say anything in World Chat. He’d most likely be flamed into oblivion. After lurking for a bit, he focused on checking the items in his account.

There were no major issues with the account. Everything that should be there was there, and the cultivation, equipment, and materials were all quite good. At the very least, it was worth the price.

If only the reputation were a bit better, it would be perfect.

Yu He gnawed at his fingernail. The cat on his lap had already started making soft purring sounds.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t considered abandoning the account and buying a new one. After all, this one was beyond redemption. But when he thought about being chased down and killed over and over as a red-name… It was actually kind of exciting.

Isn’t gaming all about having fun? The fun had delivered itself right to his doorstep. Might as well experience it first.

Anyway, he wasn’t stealing or robbing anyone. Playing a game; who owed whom anything?

What’s more… wasn’t he supposed to help Yu Guo beat up his scum ex? This account was perfect for that. There really couldn’t be a better one.

Yu He opened the guild info. The guild was called “Chang’an,” and the guild leader was Tang Chao, an assassin. The moment he opened his profile, a wave of RMB aura rushed at his face, nearly blinding him. Friend requests were set to disabled.

As expected of Boss Tang, the man with an entire fish pond…⁵Someone who has a lot of girls. Similar to like there are many fish in the sea, so his was a whole fish pond.

He really was a perfect match for that Jiaojiao.

As for that Mingyue? Divorce tomorrow.

—

It was already very late. Yu He shut down the computer, burrowed into his blanket, and opened the Xianxia Online forums to scroll through the drama.

As everyone knows, every anonymous forum is a place where liveliness and bloody drama converge. Lying in bed, Yu He feasted on gossip until he was full.

Just as Yu Guo had said, Jiaojiao was a notorious white lotus scammer in Chang Xiang Si. She’d been exposed and reincarnated countless times, and had repeatedly pulled the cicada-shedding trick using excuses like “account hacked” or “account bought and sold.”

When everyone finally stopped believing it, Yu He, this unfortunate sucker, showed up.

He’d even thought Yu Guo was careless and easy to scam; turns out this big brother was even worse…

There were also threads suspecting that Jiaojiao and Mingyue were the same person. Some big shots had checked the IPs and said they were from the same place; it was just unclear whether it was a group operation.

If they really were one person… Yu He couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for Porridge bro.

After all, Mingyue’s unclear standard Mandarin was only able to hook girls thanks to his decent-sounding voice. Then one time, who knows whether he forgot to turn on the voice changer or what, but he called a girl “wife” in his greasy real voice. The girl was so scared she nearly died on the spot, and later quit the game entirely, never to be seen again.

That “Mingyue nmsl” account belonged to the girl’s friend’s alt, who made it a daily routine to send regards to Mingyue’s ancestors for eighteen generations.

… If it really was the same person, Porridge bro would probably be traumatized for life. A male version of Qiao Biluo or something… just thinking about it was almost too beautiful.

After finishing the gossip, Yu He opened Weibo and scrolled for a bit. The radio drama he’d worked on was scheduled to be released at exactly midnight tonight, and as the “female lead,” he still had to sprinkle some flowers in celebration.

He’d submitted the raw audio a long time ago. Post-production had taken a bit longer. He was voicing the female lead of a BG novel; gentle and soft, just a little silly and sweet.

Staying up until midnight to repost the Weibo, Yu He thought for a moment and then posted another update—

CV He Gui: Anyone playing Xianxia Online? [doge] Successfully got into the game

Replies immediately popped up below, mostly asking which server he was on, and others asking for his ID.

Yu He curled his lips, then turned off his phone.

If he really told them, his Weibo would turn into a bloody storm tomorrow.

—

Late at night, Tang Shaoqing, who’d been specially following someone and happened to see the post about successfully getting into the game, stared at that Weibo in silence. On the computer screen, his assassin character was cut down with a single slash, and he didn’t even notice.

[World][Mingyue nmsl]: ! The dog man is online, logged in with his voice changer again

The full text is 110k words. Just only 1RMB to get the complete subscription badge~

A self-fed book qwq. There were really no online-game novels left to read, so I had no choice but to write one myself. This one feels a bit immature orz Later, I started another online-game novel, there’s a lot more improvement in that one! You can find it in the author’s column at the top right.

---

#Let’s dig into that He Gui, who can be male or female, a top or bottom#

#(//ω//) Want to marry He Gui Gui#

#Da¹Big, great He’s Scumbag-Slaying Guide#

#A Walking voice changer#

#He·Women’s Best Friend·Gui#

#Requesting The Scumbag’s Psychological Trauma Area#

#Want To See Da He In Women’s Clothes#

Yu He stared at those tags and fell silent. Even the kitten he was petting on his lap instantly lost its appeal.

All of this started from the day he accidentally opened the fan group.

As a semi-retired big shot in the online voice-acting circle, Yu He usually just posted on Weibo to show off his cat, and every now and then popped up in the fan group to chat and mess around.

Life in semi-retirement was very leisurely. College was already halfway over, his family was loaded, and his future was bright. The only problem was that he was so idle he was about to grow feathers.

Just as Yu He was considering taking on a radio drama to kill some time, he happened to see a girl pouring her heart out in the fan group.

She was scammed by her online-game boyfriend. Not only did he scam her money and feelings, but he also took advantage of her body. Later, she found out he was a serial player, a full-on sea king²Player who plays around with girls. who preyed on girls everywhere, always skirting the edge of legality and exploiting loopholes in the law, leaving people completely powerless against him.

The group was full of indignation, yet helpless.

It was a small group called “Shou He’s Old Gongs,” with fewer than a hundred people. Those were all fans who had supported He Gui since he was still a nobody. He recognized most of the usernames inside.

This girl was good at drawing and had even made fanart for him. Whenever a drama came out, she was always one of the first to support him. The two had added each other on □□³Censored text. long ago.

Looking at the chat logs made Yu He feel a pang of unease as well. After thinking for a few seconds, he clicked on her profile picture and sent a few words of comfort.

She was a die-hard fan, so receiving comfort from her idol made her quite excited, and she continued venting in private messages.

As she vented, the topic suddenly began drifting in a strange direction.

Girl: Lately, there have been a lot of annoying things. I also have a friend who got tricked by a voice changer in another game. It grossed her out so much she quit the game, and she still hasn’t recovered.

He Gui: A voice changer?

As everyone knew, He Gui was famous for his wide vocal range and ever-changing voice. He had once voiced an entire radio drama alone, playing multiple roles by himself, earning the nickname “walking voice changer.”

Whether male or female voices, he could handle them all with ease, his fake voices exceptionally convincing and often stunning everyone.

Girl: Yes, a voice changer

Girl: !

He Gui: ?

Girl: Do you play PUBG?

He Gui: A little.

Girl: Are you interested… in crushing some scumbags?

He Gui: _(:з」∠)_ I think it might be worth a try?

Since the law couldn’t punish the scumbag, they would return the favor in kind and disgust him right back.

Girl: This is that scumbag’s PUBG account…

Girl: He especially likes girls with sweet, coquettish voices.

He Gui: Consider it done!

Girl: 🙂 Sigh, that asshole still owes me 2,000 yuan.

He Gui: Let him properly experience society’s harsh lessons and the ugliness of human nature.

He Gui: Don’t beat yourself up too much. Try to stay positive. You can always come talk to me anytime _(:з」∠)_

Girl: It’s fine, really. It’s already 2020 now. I’ll just treat it like getting bitten by a dog~ I loved once!

Girl: I’ve really troubled you, Da He qwq

He Gui: Mm-hm [pats head] You have to pull yourself together quickly.

Girl: If you could grant me one more little wish… I’d recover even faster.

He Gui: What wish?

Girl: o(*////▽////*)q I want to hear your moans.

He Gui: ?

The girl was definitely hurting inside, yet she forced a smile in front of him, putting on a brave front. Yu He couldn’t help feeling sorry for her.

All he could do was do his best to help her get revenge on that scumbag.

Of course, moans were absolutely out of the question.

Although he had voiced both BG and BL radio dramas, they were always clean and restrained. Fake voices were his specialty, but moans were firmly in his knowledge blind spot.

Yu He felt a bit excited about returning to his old trade.

This time, it wasn’t fake-voice acting for a drama, but real combat scumbag-slaying that was much more challenging.

Under Yu He’s relentless barrage of “good brother”, the scumbag fell for it smoothly. After proposing to meet up, Yu He gave a fake location. While the scumbag was standing at the airport, battered by the freezing wind, a greasy voice message was sent over without mercy—

“Actually, I’m a guy.”

Immediately after came the full combo: block and delete in one smooth motion. That man would probably never forget how he’d been toyed with by a “rough guy” for the rest of his life.

Later, with Yu He’s consent, the girl edited and posted some chat records and audio clips online after censoring sensitive information. She removed anything involving privacy and added reminders about being cautious with online relationships, which resonated strongly with the public.

From then on, people would come to Yu He every so often, asking him to help take down scumbags. But these matters were hard to judge and involved other people’s private affairs; it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to keep interfering, so he stopped accepting such requests.

Still, that one incident had pushed him into sudden fame beyond his usual circle.

Fortunately, he had always been creating purely out of passion, and very few people in real life knew about his CV⁴Character Voice identity. Otherwise, he really would’ve been worried about that scumbag seeking revenge.

Then again, the guy was the type who bullied the weak and feared the strong, so he probably didn’t have the guts.

Yu He sighed and casually scrolled through Weibo. The screen was filled with philosophical symbols and aoaojiao,⁵Copied it as is in the raw. This means gibberish talks. making him laugh and sigh at the same time. As he kept scrolling, a video call suddenly came in; it was from his cousin, Yu Guo.

“What’s up?” Yu He curled his lips slightly when he saw the puffed-up, sulky bun-face on the screen.

His cousin was two years younger than him, a freshman in college. They’d been close since childhood, and she was always informal around him. Whenever she got into trouble, it was usually him who had to clean it up.

“I ran into a sea king through an online game relationship…” Yu Guo said while gnawing on an apple, chewing hard.

Now, whenever Yu He heard words like “game,” “online relationship,” and “sea king,” he felt the vein on his forehead twitching.

How did this girl end up in an online relationship, too??

“I’ve been single since birth. How did I end up running into something like this…” Yu Guo’s eyes grew red as she spoke.

This time, Yu He didn’t know what to do.

She was usually fearless. Forget crying, she wouldn’t even frown after falling flat on her face. And now because of an online relationship…?

After what happened with the previous girl, he couldn’t help but imagine the worst.

Yu Guo sniffed, glaring as she forced the tears back.

“What exactly happened? Take it slow,” Yu He said gently, coaxing her.

If it was what he feared… he’d fly over and break that scumbag’s legs himself.

“Well, I’ve been playing Xianxia Online recently. I didn’t feel like leveling, so I hired a booster,” Yu Guo said, calming down a little after sniffing again.

“Mm.” He knew Xianxia Online, a hugely popular MMO lately, with gorgeous visuals and innovative gameplay that had attracted a massive fanbase.

Yu Guo had recommended it to him countless times already. He’d wanted to try it too, but for various random reasons, he’d never actually gotten into it.

“That scumbag was the booster I hired. I originally wanted him to level me to max. Then a new gear came out that you could only get through a romance quest, so I paid extra and asked him to do that for me. I paid him through WeChat, and he formed a lover bond with me in-game.”

“He’s pretty impressive. The leader of the top guild, and his voice even sounds good. Damn.”

“After helping me get the gear, he even helped me get a lot of other good stuff and didn’t ask for any payment. I basically freeloaded, and everything was all vague and ambiguous.”

“When people in the guild teased us about our relationship, he didn’t deny it. He even protected me. I really thought I’d lucked into some Mary Sue storyline…”

“Turns out he’s a total sea king. He divorced me without a word, then immediately turned around and went to run dungeons with another girl.”

“I really should’ve gone to the forum first to read the gossip. There are tons of posts about him. I was seriously blind.”

The more Yu Guo talked, the angrier she got. “People like that are going to get what’s coming to them sooner or later.”

It wasn’t like she’d fallen deeply in love; she’d just been treated with that kind of ambiguous care. What girl could resist that? Only to realize it was all her own wishful thinking. Of course, she felt both hurt and furious.

She rattled on for a long while, and Yu He didn’t interrupt. He just listened quietly and attentively.

“Have you two ever met in real life?” Yu He asked.

“No.” Yu Guo shook her head.

Yu He finally let out a breath. At least she’d only been deceived emotionally.

“Which server are you on? What’s that scumbag’s name?” Yu He asked, carrying the cat back to the bedroom and opening his laptop.

“Huh?” Yu Guo froze for a second, then suddenly realized something. “Bro… are you coming out of retirement again??”

As one of the few people who knew about Yu He’s CV persona, she was aware of that fake-voice scumbag-slaying incident. She’d only wanted to vent a bit. She hadn’t expected this…

_(:з」∠)_ Why did that suddenly feel kind of exciting?

Yu He gave a soft “Mm,” opened the Xianxia Online official site, and started downloading the game. He’d wanted to try it for a long time anyway. Why wait for a better day?

“In Dianwu⁶Literal Translation: Electric 5: Chang Xiang Si.⁷Lit. Longing, Everlong The scumbag’s name is Tang Chao.”

“I’ll take you with me, ah. I’m still in the same guild as that scumbag. The other people in the guild are actually pretty nice. I’ll go find the vice leader to pull you in. He’s a really good guy…”

“Gotta go, gotta go log in to run quests. Why bother with men when I can just play games?”

Yu He couldn’t help laughing. This girl’s loud, lively personality was actually pretty great. She had strong recovery skills. Crying one second, laughing the next.

But… being good at self-healing didn’t mean being screwed over by a scumbag could just be brushed aside. As her older brother, Yu He was definitely the type to hold a grudge.

The installation package was huge and wouldn’t finish downloading anytime soon, so Yu He went to browse the Xianxia Online forums. In the Chang Xiang Si server section, there was no shortage of posts about that person.

— Scumbag Tang Chao is out preying on girls again and again. Hooking up with a new girl every day? Seriously ⁸niu bi = impressive

— Luo Yan quit the guild? Things fell apart with Tang Chao??

— 818,⁹lit. Dig a little/expose/spill the tea Boss Tang and his fish pond

— Confused. Luo Yan just got married, and Boss Tang set off 99 fireworks for Guji at the Sansheng Stone??

…

This scumbag really had quite a long list of dark history.

Only a silly girl with a big-hearted, careless personality would’ve fallen for him.

By the time the game finished downloading, it was already 11 pm. Yu He thought for a moment, then went and bought an account. In games like this, max level was just the starting line anyway, and he couldn’t be bothered to spend time grinding.

Like other xianxia MMOs, Xianxia Online divided its classes into healer, assassin, tank, and mage.

Healers were from the demon race and could choose spiritual forms—rabbits, cats, foxes, and the like. They were cute in appearance and very popular with girls. Assassins were high-burst but fragile, requiring extremely high mechanical skill and game awareness. Tanks were Shaolin—tanky as hell, bad at pretty much everything else, champions at taking hits. Mages were Qin players, long-range specialists who could deal damage and apply crowd control.

The account he bought was a loli healer with rabbit ears. The character’s face had been customized so beautifully that Yu He picked her at first glance. Her cultivation level and skill points were solid, and with several sets of purple gear, she was overall a pretty good account.

After buying the account, Yu He launched the game and went to send Yu Guo a message.

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: I bought a healer

Guoguo: What’s the name, what’s the name? I’ll add you

Daming Lake’s Xia Yuhe: Jiaojiao

Guoguo: ?

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Translator’s note: Hi!! New novel :blobhighfive:

Hope you like it! :blobsmilehappyeyes: