Category: When Everyone Think You Got a Crush (Page 2 of 3)

       He Yunsheng had just finished speaking, and Xi Feng had already taken two steps to grab his mobile phone. Xi Feng hung up the phone and said, “Don’t call anyone. I can continue to take care of you tonight.”

       He Yunsheng didn’t take a step forward to fight over his phone but watched him and couldn’t help but sneer, “You? Taking care of me? Are you going to take care of me for the rest of your life?”

       Xi Feng was stunned when he heard the words, he rubbed He Yunsheng’s cell phone with his finger, and he couldn’t speak for a long while.

       He Yunsheng continued, “Do you feel sorry for me? Are you going to take care of me when I become an old man and become a lonely man?”

       “I…” Xi Feng could neither agree nor say no.

　　He Yunsheng felt somewhat powerless, “Xi Feng, I can’t get married, I will find a man I love to be with, and that’s the end for me. You’ve cared enough about me to go beyond being a friend, so let’s stop here.”

       After finishing speaking, He Yunsheng took his cell phone back from Xi Feng’s hand, did not redial the number. He just turned around and walked inside.

       Xi Feng stood in place for more than ten minutes, never getting the answer he wanted, and finally turned around despondently and left.

       He Yunsheng did not call anyone to accompany him and returned home alone, sitting on the sofa in silence for half an hour.

　　When brushing his teeth, He Yunsheng tried for a long time but failed to squeeze the toothpaste onto the toothbrush because he could only use one hand. He felt impatient and angry. He waved his hand, swept all the cups and toothbrushes on the sink to the ground, and slammed the marble countertop with his left hand fiercely.

       He was really tired of Xi Feng. If not for him, his life would not have been so bad!

       At work the next day, He Yunsheng went to ask the manager in charge for leave because he could not use one of his hands. Seeing that the National Day was a few days away, he simply took all his annual leave this year.

       The manager saw that he had hurt his hand, so he asked him to hand over the work and approved his leave.

       After applying for leave, He Yunsheng returned to the office and handed over his works with his colleagues. He went straight home on the same day and booked a flight and hotel online, intending to fly to Japan for vacation.

       Xi Feng only learned that He Yunsheng was on vacation that afternoon. He heard the news from his colleagues in the financial department. At that time, he was somewhat disappointed and frustrated. He went back to the office, took out his cell phone, and looked at He Yunsheng’s number for a long time but didn’t dial out.

       By now, he didn’t know that He Yunsheng was hiding from him, and he really felt like there was a screw loose on his head.

       When he left work in the afternoon, Xi Feng met Xu Qing in the elevator.

       Xu Qing stood in front, not looking at him from the start until his end. When the elevator reached the first floor and the door opened, Xu Qing raised her head and walked outside.

       Xi Feng looked at Xu Qing’s back, knowing that he would not be able to go back this time. No matter how much he said sorry, it would be useless. He knows he didn’t like Xu Qing enough. If he continues to be with each other, he will still be unable to avoid hurting each other, so it’s better to end it now.

       Thinking of this, Xi Feng suddenly thought of He Yunsheng, who didn’t want to get married. If you have to be with someone you don’t love, it will be a torture for each other for a long time.

       He went to work every day, went back home to eat, play online games and sleep.

       Xi Feng’s life was boring, but once he calmed down, all the things he thought about in his head were He Yunsheng. Even when he was dating in college, he never tossed and turned for a person.

       It lasted until the National Day holiday. On the eve of the holiday, his mother called and asked him if he wanted to go home. Xi Feng hesitated and said he couldn’t go back. Shortly after the end of the call, he received a call from his closest classmate in college, telling him he was getting married.

       Xi Feng was stunned at the time, “Why is it so sudden?”

       The classmate said, “It was decided suddenly, and I didn’t plan to do it at first. So I called to tell my good friends.”

       Xi Feng asked him quickly, “What day? I must come to the wedding.”

       The classmate smiled, “There really is no ceremony. We are just going to get the certificate before the holiday, and it’s over. If you want to come, come and play on National Day and see my wife along the way.”

       As he heard this invitation, Xi Feng’s heart stirred for a moment, and he said, “Wait for me, I’ll think about it.”

       After some consideration, Xi Feng finally decided to go to his old classmate’s place for a few days to play and give the wedding money in person.

       The classmate’s name is Dai Meng. He lived in a dormitory with Xi Feng when he was in college. They had the best relationship, to the point they borrowed each other’s pants. Until he graduated from college, Dai Meng left the city without a girlfriend. Later, he contacted Xi Feng occasionally and never mentioned it. Somehow, he acted quickly and was suddenly getting married.

       Xi Feng flew over, and Dai Meng drove to the airport to pick him up.

       Seeing Dai Meng’s car, Xi Feng sighed, “Boy, you are doing a good job.”

       Dai Meng said, “I bought it with a loan. In order to take my son to and from school, the car interest is added up to the home loan and makes my money run out every month. I have to rely on my wife for food.”

       Xi Feng was stunned, “You have a son? Didn’t you just get married? Was it a shotgun wedding?” That’s too soon, isn’t it? It doesn’t make sense that he just got married, and his son is already studying.

       Dai Meng laughed a little while driving, and said, “I’ll tell you first, don’t make a fuss over nothing when we go back later.”

       Xi Feng listened to his tone and felt that this matter might not be so simple.

       Sure enough, Dai Meng said, “The son belongs to my wife and her ex-husband. He is already in elementary school.”

       The car was silent, and after a while, Xi Feng couldn’t help asking, “What year was your wife born?”

       Dai Meng said, “In ’83. My son is seven years old.”

       Xi Feng and Dai Meng are of the same age. It has only been three years since they graduated from university. They are only 25 years old now, but Dai Meng’s wife is already thirty-two years old.

       This age difference made Xi Feng suddenly think of He Yunsheng.

       But apart from the age difference, what surprised Xi Feng most was that Dai Meng found a divorced woman with children. He felt that with Dai Meng’s condition, he could find a better woman.

       “Your family didn’t object to it?” Xi Feng couldn’t help asking.

       Dai Meng smiled bitterly, “Of course they object, but I am very determined.”

       Xi Feng heard this answer and asked in a daze, “Why?”

       “Why?” Dai Meng seemed to think this question was a bit ridiculous, “Because I love her.”

       Dinner was eaten at Dai Meng’s house that day, and Xi Feng saw Dai Meng’s wife. The thirty-two-year-old woman is well maintained, beautiful and gentle. Her son is seven years old and looks very cute and obedient.

       Others might think it’s strange that a 25-year-old man with a good appearance and family background and a good job finds a woman who’s divorced with a seven years old son, but in this family, they themselves feel delighted.

       In the evening, Dai Meng let Xi Feng stay at his home, but Xi Feng did not have the heart to disturb them and went outside to stay in a hotel by himself.

       Lying on the big hotel bed, Xi Feng stared at the phone for a long time. He called He Yunsheng for the first time in so many days, but the other party’s phone turned off.

       Xi Feng raised his hand to cover his face, and his breath was full of fatigue. He felt too uncomfortable with this state of mind.

       After a few days in the city, Dai Meng accompanied him around, and one night the two went for a drink.

       After drinking a little too much, Dai Meng developed a desire to talk and told Xi Feng how hard his life was after being with his wife.

　　”At that time, my parents prepared all the money for buying a house, but they took it all back to force me to not be with her. As a result, part of the money for buying the house is still being given by my wife,” Dai Meng finished speaking and took a sip of beer with his glass.

　　Xi Feng swayed the golden beer in the glass, wiped the beer foam from the glass with his fingers, and said, “Your parents also want you to live well. Since they opposed it so much, won’t you be more or less unfilial if you insist?”

　　Dai Meng looked at Xi Feng and shook his head, “They want me to live a good life, but I only know what a good life is. It’s not that just marrying a young woman will make me have a good life. If you can’t be with the person I love, how can you be happy? The parents’ original intention is good, but the problem is that their ideas are wrong.”

　　Xi Feng looked at his glass, “But they will be sad.”

　　Dai Meng said, “Then I should let them know that I am happy. I will still be filial to them, and I’ll let them know how well our family life is, and one day when they are gone, I will have a complete and happy family in this world. They do not have to worry about me.”

　　Xi Feng still looked blank.

　　Dai Meng said to him, “People who love you want you to have a good life, but everyone’s definition of a good life is not the same. How to say this? It is like people who drink water and will say, why would you drink cold beer when the weather is cold. But only you know how refreshing a cold beer is!”

　　After finishing speaking, Dai Meng raised his glass and touched his.

　　Xi Feng took a sip and asked, “Can you be sure that you will be happy in the future?”

　　Dai Meng laughed when he heard the words, “Who can be sure of happiness in the future? You may marry Ms. Perfect, and you might be cheated to your bankruptcy by your wife one day. If you don’t even dare to pursue happiness now, don’t talk about happiness in this life. Because you may never realize what happiness is.”

　　Hearing Dai Meng’s words, Xi Feng suddenly felt as if someone had poured cold water on his face, and he gradually became sober while he was startled.

　　What is a good life? If he doesn’t even dare to pursue the one he loves, then no matter how smooth life is in the future, he might not know if it is really good.

　　That night, Xi Feng lay in bed tossing and turning all night. When he made up his mind, those things that had been weighing heavily on his heart became lighter. He even began to imagine some illusory future, and he was happy for those uncertain futures.

　　At the end of the seven-day holiday, Xi Feng still did not see He Yunsheng the first day he went back to work.

　　He made a special trip to the personnel department to inquire about He Yunsheng’s return date. He Yunsheng had three days left on his annual leave, and he would not return to work until after these three days were over. Then another weekend had passed.

　　On the weekend, when He Yunsheng was about to go to work, Xi Feng went to the market to buy cob bones. He returned home and called his mother to ask how to stew bone soup.

　　He does not know how to cook, but all the seasoning has been bought now. He didn’t ask clearly when he called and checked the recipes online. After a long time in the kitchen, he stewed it and put it in the refrigerator.

　　The next day, he got up early again, boiled the soup, put it in a newly bought thermos, and took it to the company.

　　In the morning, Xi Feng called the finance department and asked them if He Yunsheng had come back to work, and after getting a positive answer, he hung up the phone feeling satisfied.

　　As soon as it was time for lunch, Xi Feng hurried to press the elevator with the thermos bucket. He was afraid that He Yunsheng would leave if he arrived late.

　　His colleagues wondered about his strange behavior of going against the current on the peak lunch hour, but Xi Feng was not in the mood to explain. He pressed the phone anxiously, fearing he would miss He Yunsheng.

　　As a result, he was lucky. When he arrived at He Yunsheng’s office, the rest of the finance department went to a meal, but He Yunsheng stayed in his small office and looked through the documents.

　　When he heard someone enter, He Yunsheng looked up. After seeing it was Xi Feng, he put down what he was holding and asked him, “Is there something wrong?”

　　Xi Feng put the thermos barrel on the table and did not ask He Yunsheng where he had been during this period of time. He just asked, “Is the injury on your hand better?”

　　He Yunsheng touched his right wrist. It was no longer as uncomfortable as it was at the beginning, and he was no longer afraid to move it at all, but he didn’t dare to use force.

　　”I’m fine,” He Yunsheng said to Xi Feng.

　　Xi Feng opened the thermos barrel by himself. The bone soup inside was still steaming. He said, “I made you some bone broth. Drink it before you go eat.”

　　He Yunsheng looked at him expressionlessly. If someone else came to deliver the soup, he might be embarrassed to refuse, but he would definitely not accept it since the person was Xi Feng.

　　”No need,” He Yunsheng said in a deep voice.

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       The car accident was the responsibility of the truck driver that changed lanes in front. After the traffic police came to deal with the scene, Xi Feng took a taxi to take He Yunsheng to the hospital. He Yunsheng’s life was not in danger, but he fractured his right wrist and went to the hospital for an X-ray. Fortunately, it was not too serious.

       At night, He Yunsheng stayed in the observation room for infusion, and Xi Feng sat next to him.

       Even with his eyes closed, He Yunsheng could feel Xi Feng’s eyes fixed on him. He slowly opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling and said, “What are you looking after me for? I’m fine. You go back first.”

       Xi Feng said, “It’s okay, I’ll just observe you for the time being, and you can go to sleep. I’ll call the doctor for you after you finish the infusion later.”

       He Yunsheng didn’t know how to answer him for a while.

       At this time, Xi Feng’s cell phone rang. He took it out and saw that it was Xu Qing’s call. He quickly took the cell phone out of the ward to answer the call.

       Xu Qing didn’t lose his temper this time. When Xi Feng answered the phone, he only calmly said the words, “Let’s break up.”

       That evening Xi Feng ran away before he finished eating, leaving Xu Qing and her parents to sit awkwardly. Xu Qing’s father asked if there was something urgent for Xi Feng and asked Xu Qing to follow him.

       Xu Qing felt some indigestion in her stomach and was unwilling to move. As a result, Xi Feng never went back nor made any phone call. In the end, it was Xu Qing who paid the bill.

       At this point, Xi Feng knew that it would be useless to even say sorry, he whispered to the other end of the phone, “I understand, I’m really sorry, if —”

       Before he finished speaking, Xu Qing hung up the phone.

       He originally wanted to say that he would explain to Xu Qing if he had a chance, but now it seems the other party might not give him a chance.

       Xi Feng returned to the ward, He Yunsheng turned his head to look at him and said, “Is there anything wrong? Just go ahead if there’s something you need to do.”

       “What will you do when I leave?” Xi Feng said as he sat down beside the hospital bed, “Will there be someone else to take care of you?”

       He Yunsheng was suddenly at a loss. He still has relatives and friends, but they don’t seem close enough to come to the hospital to look after him all night. If he was seriously injured in a car accident today, he might have been able to call someone, but now it doesn’t seem too necessary in this situation.

       So he was silent for a moment and answered Xi Feng, “It’s not necessary.”

       Xi Feng said, “Go to sleep. Just pretend I don’t exist.”

       He Yunsheng saw that he couldn’t say anything to make Xi Feng leave, and talking to him too much was making his heart sick, so he turned his back to him and closed his eyes.

       Xi Feng stared at He Yunsheng’s back in a daze.

       The fear that he had when watching He Yunsheng’s car crashed just now hasn’t dissipated. At that moment, he even felt that his legs were weak, but even if his legs were weak, he would run to He Yunsheng’s side to confirm whether he was safe.

       Looking at He Yunsheng’s slightly thin back now, Xi Feng suddenly felt uncomfortable in his heart, not for himself, but for He Yunsheng.

       He thought that even if He Yunsheng was injured, he didn’t even have a person to look after him. Then one day when he gets old, will he have to stay at home alone without anyone around him?

       Just by imagining it, Xi Feng has felt that this uncomfortable feeling was so strong that it made his nasal cavity a little sore.

       He didn’t know what he could do on his own. On such a quiet night, he suddenly wondered if he could stay with He Yunsheng forever?

　　Xi Feng stretched out his hand towards He Yunsheng, wanting to touch his hair. Yet before he could touch it, he suddenly retracted his hand, like he was waking up from a dream, suddenly realizing what a terrible thought he had just had.

       He can’t be that person, Xi Feng told himself repeatedly. And what about that man tonight? He Yunsheng didn’t seem to call him even after the accident.

       If He Yunsheng is not destined to be with a woman, is it better for him to find a man?

       Xi Feng was in a daze, but as long as the scene of He Yunsheng with the man crossed his mind, Xi Feng felt that he was almost overwhelmed by anger. No, maybe it wasn’t just anger, it was more of a jealousy and unwillingness.

       He raised his hand to cover his face.

       Someone once said that feelings could be controlled. As long as you don’t think about it, some feelings may never sprout. But Xi Feng couldn’t hold himself back anymore. The unacceptable secret feelings had already sprouted, it wasn’t like he could really wipe it off by shaking his head and denying it.

       Xi Feng thought he was finished.

       It was midnight when He Yunsheng finished his infusion, and he had already gone to sleep unconsciously. Xi Feng pressed the pager and called the nurse on duty to pull the needle for him.

       At that time, He Yunsheng woke up, but because he was too tired, he soon fell asleep again. This time, it was already dawn when he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he found that Xi Feng was still sitting by the bed staring at him, as if he hadn’t closed his eyes all night.

       He Yunsheng was a little startled.

       Xi Feng watched him wake up and asked, “Do you feel any discomfort?” His voice sounded hoarse.

       He Yunsheng shook his head. Apart from the fracture of his wrist, which has been fixed, he has no other discomfort.

       Xi Feng said, “I’ll call for the doctor to take a look at it later. If everything is fine, then we can go back.”

       He Yunsheng wanted to say that there was no need to do that, and Xi Feng should just go back to rest by himself, but Xi Feng had already stood up and walked outside. A short while later, Xi Feng accompanied the doctor in, asked about He Yunsheng’s condition, checked his wrist fixation, and made sure there was no problem so he could go back first.

       Xi Feng stretched out his hand to help He Yunsheng.

       He Yunsheng avoided his hand and said to him, “I can do it myself.”

       So he said, but after all, he lost one hand that could help him move, and it became extremely difficult to wear shoes. Xi Feng squatted down to help him put on his shoes and then took his coat to put on him.

       When Xi Feng did these things, he was silent. He Yunsheng looked at him, and his thoughts were a little complicated.

       Today, He Yunsheng has to deal with the follow-up of the car accident. He contacted the truck driver and planned to go to a repair shop. There is no other way but to ask for leave for work.

       But he didn’t expect that Xi Feng also takes a leave of absence.

       As the two stood at the entrance of the hospital, He Yunsheng asked him, “Why do you ask for leave? Your wage will be deducted at the end of the year.”

       Xi Feng said: “If not, should I have left you alone? Your hands are still not convenient to use.”

       He Yunsheng subconsciously touched his bandaged right wrist. He said, “It doesn’t matter.”

       Xi Feng did not intend to talk about it with him and only said, “Let’s go. The leave has been requested. Let’s go to eat breakfast first. What do you want to eat?”

       Xi Feng had just looked after He Yunsheng all night yesterday. Whether He Yunsheng wanted it or not, he couldn’t strictly refuse the other party at this time. In the end, he could only say, “Whatever you want to eat.”

       After breakfast, Xi Feng accompanied He Yunsheng to deal with the car affairs for a whole day. At night he took a taxi to send He Yunsheng back.

       Sitting in the taxi, neither of them spoke.

       He Yunsheng looked out the window for a moment, turned his head to look at Xi Feng, and said, “Thank you for today.”

       Xi Feng was a little depressed. He said, “It was because I chased you yesterday that you were in a car accident, right?”

       He Yunsheng did not admit or deny it and said, “That’s because I didn’t concentrate on driving by myself. The injury on my hands is not a big deal. It is enough for you to help me for a day, so you don’t need to worry about it anymore.”

       Xi Feng suddenly asked, “Is there someone who will take care of you?”

       He Yunsheng said, “It’s just a small injury. I can take care of myself.”

       Xi Feng asked him, “What if the injury is severe this time? Is there anyone else who will come to watch over you all night beside me?”

       He Yunsheng leaned back on the back of the seat. He was a little irritated by what Xi Feng said, but he tried to suppress it. He told himself that Xi Feng really cared about him; otherwise, he would not stay with him for so long. But these kinds of rude and provocative words will make people feel uncomfortable no matter how much the other party shows their concern.

       The taxi arrived at He Yunsheng’s place downstairs, and He Yunsheng pulled the car door and got off.

       Xi Feng also got out of the car and said, “I’ll walk you up.”

       He Yunsheng did not refuse, he turned and walked into the neighborhood, and Xi Feng quickly followed.

　　Seeing that the taxi had turned and left, He Yunsheng stopped and waited for Xi Feng to walk in front of him and said in a deep voice, “Xi Feng, let me say it again. I am very grateful for your help. But don’t you think you are being too much?”

       Xi Feng looked at him, there were no street lights here, and neither of them could see each other’s expressions clearly in the dim environment.

　　He Yunsheng continued, “I know that I am a homosexual. In your eyes, I am abnormal. I will not have a complete family or children. Even now, I am in my thirties, and I am alone. You can pity me, and I don’t mind what you think of me. But please don’t approach me in the name of being concerned, and at the same time trying so hard to criticize my way of life! I don’t need you to judge what kind of life I live by your standards. I don’t pity myself. I know in my heart what I want. You go get married and have kids and live your life. What I want is my business!”

        After saying these words, He Yunsheng’s chest is still slightly heaving, and he wanted to fan his face to let the blood that rushed to his brain cool down quickly.

       Xi Feng was surprisingly calm. He looked at He Yunsheng and said, “I can’t do it.”

       He Yunsheng clenched his left hand into a fist and raised it, and then put it down again. He said, “You have a screw loose in your brain, don’t you?”

       Xi Feng said seriously, “I can’t stand to see you alone. I feel uncomfortable in my heart. I want you to live a happy life.”

       As soon as he said this, He Yunsheng’s original anger disappeared in an instant, and what remained seemed to be a ridiculous desolation.

　　He Yunsheng raised his hand and pressed his forehead. After a while, he said to Xi Feng, “Let me put it this way, being single is my own choice, and I’m still waiting for the one who is right for me. I believe I will be happy with the one I love for the rest of my life. All we lack is a child.”

       Xi Feng did not speak.

       He Yunsheng stretched out his hand in his pocket and took his mobile phone. He said, “Thank you for your concern. I will find someone right now and let him accompany me tonight, so you can be completely at ease and not have to worry about me in the future.”

       After finishing speaking, He Yunsheng fished out the mobile phone in his pocket, opened the phone book with one hand with difficulty to look for the number, and dialed it after a few moments.

       While waiting for the call to be connected, He Yunsheng raised his head to look at Xi Feng.

       Xi Feng’s expression was a little sad. He probably didn’t even notice it.

       The call was quickly connected, and He Yunsheng said to the person over there, “Cheng Lei, do you have something to do tonight? Come spend the night at my place.”

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       He Yunsheng came out of the shower, wearing pajamas, with his hair still wet. He put a towel on his shoulders, sat across Xi Feng, and asked, “Anything else?”

       Xi Feng scratched his head and said, “Are you okay?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him.

       Xi Feng said, “Last night I—” He swallowed half of his words as if it was inappropriate to say anything.

       He Yunsheng said in an unusually flat tone, “It’s not too good. To be honest, your technique is too rough, and I feel a little uncomfortable physically.”

       Xi Feng didn’t expect He Yunsheng to say something so blunt and that he would be evaluated to have a bad technique. He sat awkwardly and slowly reddened from the roots of his ears.

　　At this point, He Yunsheng originally wanted to say something to mock Xi Feng, but suddenly he felt that it was unnecessary. He was originally not a mean person. Rather than fighting against others and causing a little bit of resentment, it is better to cut off all future contacts completely.

       So He Yunsheng said to Xi Feng, “Let’s just forget about what happened last night.”

       Xi Feng was taken aback when he heard this. This was originally what he wanted to say to He Yunsheng, but as he heard what He Yunsheng said repeatedly, he felt a little uncomfortable in his heart.

       He Yunsheng said, “You don’t have to dwell on it too much. It’s not like no one in this circle has ever done anything with straight men. Sexual orientation is not something that can be changed. You can live as you like in the future.”

       Xi Feng heard what He Yunsheng’s word meant, and it seemed that he was still comforting him.

       He Yunsheng picked up the corner of the towel and wiped the water on his cheeks, “I think you’d better cherish your girlfriend.”

       Xi Feng’s heart was in a mess as if it was churned and stirred into a lump of porridge. He couldn’t understand his emotions but felt that all the words He Yunsheng was right, and he couldn’t refute a word of it.

       In the end, he could only say, “I’m sorry.”

       He Yunsheng laughed when he heard the words, “Although I was drunk, it was something you were willing to do, what is there to be sorry for.”

       The words that should be said were all said, and Xi Feng could not say what he originally wanted. The two sat in silence for a while, and Xi Feng could only stand up to say goodbye.

       When he returned home that day, Xi Feng sat in front of the computer for a long time, searching for information about “bisexuality.”

       He was sure that he had always liked women, but he had a strong reaction to He Yunsheng. After thinking for a long time, he felt that he could only be bisexual.

       There were a lot of messy things found on the internet, but these didn’t help Xi Feng much. He still couldn’t sort out his feelings.

       After spending the weekend in confusion, Xi Feng went to work on Monday to find that Xu Qing was not paying attention to him.

　　Xu Qing called Xi Feng on Saturday night. At that time, he didn’t hear it when he was in the bar. Later, he didn’t see the missed call until he left He Yunsheng’s place and went home, but he was in a bad mood and didn’t give Xu Qing a callback.

       When he went to work on Monday, Xi Feng was still thinking about what to do if he saw He Yunsheng. Later, when he was about to eat at noon, he called Xu Qing, and she did not answer. Only then did he realize that Xu Qing was angry with him.

       Xi Feng felt a little sorry for Xu Qing. Of course, it was not only because of the matter of not answering the phone. But more importantly, about the matter between him and He Yunsheng.

       Whether he is gay or bisexual, this redundant identity is difficult for Xi Feng to accept. The incident with He Yunsheng made him faintly scared, constantly feeling that he would not go down a road of no return.

       He thought for a long time and felt that He Yunsheng was actually correct. He shouldn’t care too much about this matter. His attention was affected unconsciously. If he didn’t know that He Yunsheng liked men from beginning to end, then he would definitely not have such thoughts. At this time, he should put his life back on track rather than drifting further and further away.

       For Xi Feng, Xu Qing is his right track.

       That afternoon, Xi Feng waited for Xu Qing at the entrance of the office building.

       Xu Qing came out with a female colleague from the department, but after seeing Xi Feng, she sped up to leave.

       Xi Feng stopped her and said sincerely, “Qingqing, I was wrong, don’t be angry with me.”

       The female colleague smiled and bumped Xu Qing’s arm and left by herself.

       Xi Feng and Xu Qing were left standing in place. Xu Qing didn’t hide her anger at first, but Xi Feng apologized to her over and over again. Later, Xu Qing also softened her attitude.

       That night, the two of them were shopping for dinner and watching a movie. In order to show his sincerity, Xi Feng bought Xu Qing a bag worth more than 3,000.

       By the time Xi Feng sent Xu Qing home in the evening, Xu Qing’s mood had obviously improved. The two of them stood downstairs in the community and kissed lightly. Then Xu Qing and Xi Feng waved goodbye.

       Looking at Xu Qing’s back, Xi Feng thought that this was the right way, and this was what his life should’ve been.

       They worked in the same building, but Xi Feng still didn’t see He Yunsheng for nearly a week. When they met again, it was already the second week of the staff meeting.

       He Yunsheng’s seat was in the front row. After Xi Feng sat down, he habitually glanced at He Yunsheng’s seat and saw that the seat was still empty. After a while, he heard He Yunsheng walking into the large conference room while talking quietly with others.

       He Yunsheng walked past Xi Feng’s seat and did not say hello to him.

       As soon as Xi Feng looked up and saw the smooth lines wrapped under He Yunsheng’s slim suit, his breath hitched. He stared ahead, and his mind wandered off, and when he came back to his senses, he found that he had written the word He in his notebook. He was so frightened that he quickly tore the page off.

       More than half a month later, Xu Qing’s parents came from outside their region to visit their daughter on a trip and proposed that they wanted to have a meal with Xi Feng.

       After Xu Qing told Xi Feng about their visit, Xi Feng immediately agreed and said that he would arrange the meal.

       This means to greet the parents officially.

       Every time Xi Feng talks with his mother on the phone, the other party will urge him to take his girlfriend home. Originally, Xi Feng had been a little hesitant, but after the incident with He Yunsheng, he suddenly wished to accelerate development with Xu Qing.

       He hopes that he can prove to himself that he is a real, normal man.

       This meal Xifeng was arranged in an elegant Chinese restaurant. He ordered wine and dishes in advance, hoping to give Xu Qing’s parents a good impression.

       Xu Qing is from an ordinary family. His parents don’t expect their daughter to find any rich people, so they wanted to find a young man who is suitable to his daughter and willing to make progress.

       Xi Feng is tall and handsome, and his appearance must’ve passed off. His attitude today is also serious and sincere. After a meal, Xu Qing’s parents would have been delighted, if not for that little accident that happened halfway through the meal.

       Halfway through the meal, Xi Feng saw the waiter lead He Yunsheng in from outside and took him to a four-person booth.

       He Yunsheng did not see Xi Feng, but Xi Feng noticed He Yunsheng at a glance.

       This is not too much of a coincidence because the first time Xi Feng came to this restaurant was when He Yunsheng invited him. Otherwise, Xi Feng would usually go to a cheaper or hot pot and skewers and other small restaurants.

       Xu Qing didn’t notice He Yunsheng either, and she was talking to Xi Feng. Xi Feng suddenly lost his voice, and she asked him strangely what had happened.

       “Nothing,” Xi Feng answered her. But he uncontrollably focuses his attention on He Yunsheng.

       He Yunsheng did not come out to eat alone. He waited for a few minutes, and a man came in from the outside, young and handsome, wearing a casual suit, and sitting opposite He Yunsheng with a smile on his face.

       Xi Feng could not judge the relationship between the two of them, but he could tell that they were not close with each other.

       “Xiao¹a nickname given by Xu Qing’s father to Xi Feng and usually used to call people younger than the person Xi?”

       He suddenly recovered, only to realize that Xu Qing’s father had already called him a few times.

       “Ah? Uncle?”

       Xu Qing was a little upset, “Why are you distracted?”

       Xi Feng shook his head. His thoughts now are full of He Yunsheng, and in his heart he kept thinking, He Yunsheng is not here to have a blind date with this man, right?

       Maybe the man opposite him is also gay, and both of them are single. It is not impossible to have friends introduce each other to meet him.

       This thought entangled Xi Feng.

       In fact, even if He Yunsheng has a new boyfriend, it has nothing to do with Xi Feng. What he wants to do now is to concentrate on being with his girlfriend and forget those things related to He Yunsheng as soon as possible. He also felt that things were progressing very smoothly for more than half a month. He was almost about to succeed, but he happened to see He Yunsheng again on this occasion.

       And although He Yunsheng and the man came late, they ate very lightly. The two of them kept talking and laughing. Later, the man checked the time, he didn’t know if the man was in a hurry to leave, but they waved to the waiter to settle the bill.

       When they got up to leave, Xi Feng saw the man helping He Yunsheng pick up his jacket and put it on him, and he reached out his hand to touch his face, and then the two people walked out of the restaurant one after another.

       Xi Feng suddenly thought that the two of them might go to the bar for a drink after dinner, and then they would have sex at night as a matter of course. This idea made him stiffen up for a moment, and he felt that he should go and ask He Yunsheng clearly about it.

       So Xi Feng stood up.

       Xu Qing was already upset because he was distracted all night. At this time, she asked in a dreadful tone, “What are you doing?”

       Xi Feng just said, “Something happened!” Then he ran towards the outside.

       After chasing out the restaurant, Xi Feng only saw He Yunsheng’s car parked on the roadside was just being started up. He hurriedly ran over and stopped in front of the car that had just started.

       He Yunsheng stepped on the sudden brake, looked at the person in front of the car in surprise, then pressed down the car window and shouted angrily, “Are you crazy?”

       Xi Feng saw that He Yunsheng was the only one in the car. He was panting because he ran too fast and asked, “Where’s that man?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him inexplicably, “Which man?”

       Xi Feng said, “The one you just had dinner with, is he your boyfriend?”

       He Yunsheng’s anger has not dissipated, and now it has rushed up again, he said, “What does it have to do with you?”

       Xi Feng walked towards the driver’s seat and reached out to pull his car door, “Listen to me first.”

       He Yunsheng locked the door and said, “I don’t want to hear you say anything! Please leave now!”

       Xi Feng was afraid that he would close the car window as well and quickly reached out to hold it down, “I am concerned about you.”

       He Yunsheng felt that he had lived for more than thirty years, but it was the first time he had met such a disgusting and unreasonable person. He couldn’t help but yell, “Who are you? Who needs your concern? Get lost!”

       Xi Feng heard him yell at himself loudly and suddenly felt aggrieved, but he still insisted, “Let’s sit down and talk, okay?”

       He Yunsheng didn’t care if his hand was still stuck on the car window and insisted on closing the window upwards. He said, “No! I don’t have anything to say to you!”

       He felt that Xi Feng was making him so angry that it was laughable. He has been known for his good temper since he was a child, and he has never tried to yell at people in the street so angrily.

       At the last moment when the window was about to close, Xi Feng still retracted his hand. He tried to pull the door of He Yunsheng, but He Yunsheng stepped on the accelerator to drive the car out.

       “He Yunsheng!” Xi Feng chased for two steps.

       He Yunsheng looked at him from the rearview mirror. He was a bit afraid of being caught up by him, so he didn’t hold back and stepped on the gas pedal harder. As a result, when he turned his head, he found a large truck suddenly changing lanes. When he applied the brakes again, it was too late, and he crashed into it with a bang.

       Xi Feng saw this scene. His voice trembled with fear, “He Yunsheng!” He screamed and ran over.

       The front half of the car and the driver’s seat were a little deformed. Xi Feng ran over and pulled the driver’s door open. He saw the airbag bounce out, and He Yunsheng was stuck between the airbag and the seat.

       His breath stopped, and his voice was hoarse as he shouted, “He Yunsheng?”

       He Yunsheng slowly lifted his head to look at him and said, “I’m not dead, don’t worry.” He didn’t know if it was an illusion, but when he heard Xi Feng call his name just now, it was as if Xi Feng was so sad that he was about to cry.

---

Notes:
Hello, unrelated to the novel. I received some concerns about ads redirect to r18 sites
I’m currently working on it and already turn off all ads service I registered so far, if you still have the problem, please try to clear your cache&cookies. I will try my best to keep looking for all signs of ads redirect problem and solve it ><
Sorry for the inconvenience (ಥ﹏ಥ)

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       Although He Yunsheng is not as tall as Xi Feng, he was still a grownup man after all. Xi Feng had to exerted his strength to carry him on his side, but inevitably stumbled a little along the way. So Xi Feng asked him to stand firmly on the pillar, squatted in front of him and let him lie on his back.

       Xi Feng carried He Yunsheng on his back. He Yunsheng put his arms around Xi Feng’s neck, and put his face close to Xi Feng’s face. He asked vaguely, “Who are you?”

       “I am Xi Feng,” Xi Feng replied dully, and he lifted He Yunsheng’s thigh with both hands and walked towards the elevator.

       He had never been to He Yunsheng’s home, and only heard Cong Yu say the room number. At this time, he circled the parking lot like a headless fly before finding the elevator. After entering the elevator, Xi Feng didn’t put He Yunsheng down. Hearing He Yunsheng’s heavy breathing in his ears and fearing the hot breath hitting his cheeks, Xi Feng felt that he was also getting hot.

       When he reached the door of He Yunsheng’s house, Xi Feng put him down and put one arm around his waist, and letting him lean on his body. He reached for the keys in his pocket.

       He Yunsheng’s key was placed in his trouser pocket, with only a thin layer of fabric across his thigh. Xi Feng felt the heat on He Yunsheng’s skin when he reached in, and he immediately pulled his hand back as soon as he felt the heat.

       The searing heat burned from his hand all the way to his face, and he stood in place for a while before he reached for the keys again.

       As he opened the door of the room, Xi Feng felt a slight indistinct chill seeping out of the room. He helped He Yunsheng into the room and turned on the living room light to see that the room was very clean, ice cold, and it felt like there’s no one living inside.

       Xi Feng closed the door, and then picked up He Yunsheng. He hesitated at the door of the room, and brought him to the room that looked more like the master bedroom.

       When he threw He Yunsheng onto the bed, Xi Feng was using too much strength. He saw He Yunsheng rolling half a circle on the bed and hurriedly reached out to support him, fearing that he would roll off the side of the bed.

       The hem of He Yunsheng’s clothes rolled up, revealing a white and soft waist. Xi Feng stretched out his hand to touch his naked waist skin.

       Probably because he had been drinking, He Yunsheng’s skin felt very hot to touch. Xi Feng subconsciously retracted his hand, stood by the bed and looked at him for a while, then helped him take off his shoes and socks.

       When taking off his socks, Xi Feng grabbed He Yunsheng’s foot, but He Yunsheng suddenly retracted, he said faintly, “It’s ticklish.”

       The hoarse voice seemed to burrow straight into Xi Feng’s eardrum, causing him to feel ticklish.

       He Yunsheng retracted his feet, and his body curled into a ball. His clothes still wrapped up to be half pressed by his back, revealing his side waist and abdomen.

       As if he was bewitched, Xi Feng sat on the side of the bed, with his palm pressed against He Yunsheng’s waist. The smooth and soft skin was like a magnet for his hand, letting him stroke along the side waist all the way to just below He Yunsheng’s navel.

       Xi Feng breathed heavily, and he clearly felt the blood boil in his body. He hasn’t done it for a long time, and remains single for a long time after he started to work. Although Xu Qing took the initiative to pursue him, they are quite conservative in this area. The two have only progressed to kissing by now. Xu Qing didn’t have any further intentions for the time being, and Xi Feng didn’t want to force it at all.

       Now that he touched He Yunsheng’s smooth skin, and hearing his heavy breathing, Xi Feng only felt that his passion suddenly rose. He was startled by his own emotions, rationally trying to withdraw his hands, but emotionally, he felt it was difficult to suppress the emotions.

       His temples throbbed, and it was difficult for Xi Feng to calmly think about his current emotions. He felt the burning heat between all his breaths. He said to himself: Just help He Yunsheng take off his outers, and after taking it off, cover him with a quilt, and he can go.

       His fingers trembled a little, and he raised He Yunsheng’s arms to help him take off his coat. Then, seeing that the buttons on his neckline were too tight, he reached out to help him unbutton them one by one.

       The shirt spread out, revealing a delicate collar bone underneath.

       At this moment, He Yunsheng suddenly stretched out his hand and held down Xi Feng’s hand. Xi Feng was startled. When he wanted to withdraw his hand, he heard He Yunsheng say, “Come fvck me?”

       Xi Feng’s pupils suddenly dilated. He watched He Yunsheng slightly open his eyes. His eyes were moist and blurred, his white and transparent face was blushing unnaturally, and his lips were also wet and shiny. His head exploded inside, as if there were many colorful and strange sights flashing, and even made him feel a faint drumming in his ears. Yet all of these sights are, in the end, nothing more than a blank slate.

       He lowered his head and kissed He Yunsheng’s lips.

       What happened that night was more like a bizarre dream for Xi Feng. He couldn’t remember many details. The only thing that remains in his mind is the fierce impulses that he has never tried before and He Yunsheng’s raspy gasps.

       The gasp became louder and quicker with his movements, making his body deeply engrossed and his movements becoming rougher and rougher, wanting to hear more of his voice.

       Later, he slept with He Yunsheng in his arms. He obviously didn’t drink as much as He Yunsheng, but he seemed to be more drunk than He Yunsheng. For a while, he didn’t know if it’s day or night, and he didn’t even think of the location and the partner. Anyway, after the unprecedented satisfaction came the exhaustion of being hollowed out. Tired of being hollowed out, he hugged He Yunsheng, smelled the faint smell of sweat on his body, and fell asleep.

       When Xi Feng woke up, the sky outside was completely bright. He felt a little headache, and his body was still sticky but felt good. He moved his arms before he realized that he was holding someone in his arms, and then the memories of last night came rushing into his empty mind like a tsunami.

       Xi Feng sat up all of a sudden.

       He was drunk last night, no, he wasn’t actually that drunk, he always knew what he was doing. Instead of being drunk and disorderly, he just couldn’t control his lower body and couldn’t resist the temptation after he heard He Yunsheng ask him to “Come fvck me” in a sexy voice.

       However, no matter how happy he was when he was doing it last night. Now that he sobered up, he was vexed, and even had a strong sense of guilt.

       Xi Feng turned his head and glanced at He Yunsheng beside him.

       He Yunsheng’s naked upper body was covered with hickeys, and he seemed to wake up because of Xi Feng’s movements. He slowly turned over and opened his eyes blankly.

       Xi Feng was frightened in an instant. His body reacted faster than his head, and he rolled off the bed at once, reaching out to pick up the pants on the floor and put them on his body. But because of his hasty movements, he nearly fell back on the side of the bed.

       He Yunsheng watched his movements indifferently, and said, “No need to look like you’ve seen a ghost. Everyone is not sober after drinking too much last night, I won’t pester you.”

       His voice was even more hoarse from moaning and panting most of the night, and he sat up with one hand propped up, only to feel a tearing pain down there.

       Xi Feng put on his pants and grabbed his clothes, and said to He Yunsheng in a panic, “I’ll go first, you can sleep a little longer.” After saying that, he hurriedly walked outside.

       He Yunsheng didn’t give him a second glance, but frowned and endured the physical discomfort.

       He actually woke up earlier than Xi Feng. When he woke up, and saw Xi Feng’s sleeping face, his mood suddenly sank. He was a little drunk last night, and he knew that someone had taken him home. He also knew that he had sex with someone, but he didn’t remember that the person turned out to be Xi Feng.

       Xi Feng is a straight man, and he has a girlfriend. Even if He Yunsheng were to have a one-night stand with a stranger, he didn’t want it to be with Xi Feng. He raised his hand to cover his head and endured the headache after the hangover. Xi Feng was obviously inexperienced with men, and He Yunsheng was not sure if he was hurt.

       His mood did not improve because of it’s a good sex, and He Yunsheng felt more irritable instead.

       He sat quietly on the bed for a while, got up and opened the cabinet and took out his pajamas and clean underwear, planning to take a shower first. Before leaving the bedroom, he picked up the crumpled shirt that he had thrown on the floor last night and put it on, and walked directly outside.

       When he came out of the bedroom, he realized that Xi Feng hadn’t left, but was sitting on the sofa in silence.

       Xi Feng stared at the floor in a daze. He raised his head when He Yunsheng came out, only to see He Yunsheng wearing only a shirt all over his body with his two white long legs bared, and suddenly the blood rushed to his face again.

       Since they had done such intimate things last night, He Yunsheng didn’t try to hide anything. He could not open his mouth to drive Xi Feng away, and could only say, “You sit for a while, I want to take a shower first.”

       Xi Feng said quickly, “Oh, yes, you go first.”

       He Yunsheng stepped on his slippers and went to the bathroom, turned on the showerhead and stood outside the shower room quietly waiting for the water to get hot before stepping in.

       Xi Feng sat on the sofa and listened to the sound of the water in the bathroom. He raised his hand and rubbed his head, feeling terrible about what had happened from last night until just now.

       He Yunsheng was drunk and did not know anything, but he did not resist the temptation to have sex with someone. He can find a lot of reasons for himself, such as men are an animal dominated by his lower body, or he hasn’t slept with a person for too long. How could he be able to control it when He Yunsheng took the initiative?

       But no matter how many reasons he found, Xi Feng couldn’t convince himself, because he clearly understood that He Yunsheng was a man. He deeply abhors the homosexual group, and he tried to persuade He Yunsheng to go back to the right path. But at the same time he slept with others.

       And the behavior of escaping from He Yunsheng’s room just now made him feel depressed, and he even felt unmanly. So he walked to the door, but then chose to retreat and sit down on the edge of the sofa. He felt that he should talk to He Yunsheng clearly.

       What to say?

       Saying that he is not a homosexual, but he was just losing his mind because of his lust, and he hoped He Yunsheng will not misunderstand him. He also has to say sorry, that this is his fault, and he will never do it again in the future. He hope that something can be done to compensate He Yunsheng.

---

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       Xi Feng went back to the banquet hall and told Xu Qing that he had to leave first.

       Xu Qing looked at him inexplicably, “What’s the rush? You haven’t even eaten yet?”

       Xi Feng can’t explain in detail, so he only vaguely said, “My friend is asking my help for something. You can eat first, and we will contact you by phone later.” After saying that, he no longer listened to what Xu Qing said. He turned around and ran outside.

       Xu Qing’s heart was on fire, but it was not easy to let her anger out in front of her colleagues. He could only watch Xi Feng go away, leaving a place next to her.

       Xi Feng hurriedly came out of the restaurant’s gate, and saw He Yunsheng’s car waiting for him on the side of the road, so he ran over and pulled the car door to sit in the passenger seat.

       He Yunsheng said apologetically, “I’m sorry, I disturbed your meal.”

       Xi Feng fastened his seat belt and said, “It’s okay.”

       He Yunsheng sighed secretly and started the car.

       Because it was the weekend and around lunch time, there were not many cars in the city. He Yunsheng drove for half an hour to reach their destination.

       He parked the car outside the neighbourhood, and He Yunsheng and Xi Feng got out of the car and walked inside.

       On the way there Xi Feng was depressed and he didn’t speak, and He Yunsheng was also silent until they arrived at Xu Fengjie’s parents’ house. After Xu Fengjie got divorced, he moved out alone, then committed suicide, and has been living with his parents since then.

       It was Xu Fengjie’s mother who opened the door for them. The old lady already knew that He Yunsheng was coming, so she invited them in with a rare kindness.

       The old lady walked to the door of a room, knocked on the door, and said, “Fengjie, He Yunsheng is here to see you.” After she said that, she opened the door directly and stood at the door to let He Yunsheng and the others enter.

       He Yunsheng walked ahead and stopped to wait for Xi Feng as he stood at the door.

       Xi Feng immediately followed, he could not restrain his curiosity to look towards the door of the room, wanting to see clearly what kind of person Xu Fengjie was.

       However, when he reached the door, he found that He Yunsheng suddenly held his hand.

       Xi Feng was a bit dazed, he seems to have not held hands with a man since he became an adult. He Yunsheng’s hands are not as soft as women, but clean and strong, with slender fingers and a little dry skin.

       He subconsciously rubbed the back of the other’s hand with his fingertips, and He Yunsheng glanced at him inexplicably.

       Only then did Xi Feng come back from his trance.

       He Yunsheng took his hand and walked in. Xi Feng saw that it was a simply furnished bedroom with a man lying on the bed in the middle, who sat up with support after seeing them.

       Xi Feng sized up the other side.

       Xu Fengjie looked a little haggard. He didn’t know if it was because of depression, but the whole person looked thin and pale. Even so, it can still be seen that the other party has a tall frame and handsome features, and originally he would be a remarkable man. Xi Feng has always been confident about his appearance, but now he feels that he may not be better than the other party.

       Xi Feng stared at him in a daze, whether it was He Yunsheng or Xu Fengjie, both completely overturned his impression of the gay community. He thought they should all be a bunch of twisted and feminine men.

       He Yunsheng walked up to Xu Fengjie, and said calmly, “Let me introduce you first. This is my senior from university-Xu Fengjie; this is my boyfriend-Xi Feng.”

       Xi Feng pretended to earnestly nodded towards Xu Fengjie.

       Xu Fengjie, on the other hand, looked even more gloomy. He didn’t ask more questions about Xi Feng, but only said to He Yunsheng, “Can I talk to you alone for a few minutes?”

       He Yunsheng hesitated a little when he heard the words, turned his head and said to Xi Feng, “Can you wait for me outside?”

       Xi Feng suddenly became nervous. He didn’t want to leave He Yunsheng to talk to Xu Fengjie alone. He was always worried that He Yunsheng still had some feelings left for him, and he would rekindle his old feelings when the other party begged him.

       He held He Yunsheng’s hand and didn’t let go.

       He Yunsheng looked at him strangely, “Xi Feng?”

       Xi Feng knew that he was not He Yunsheng’s real boyfriend, otherwise he could refuse to let He Yunsheng stay and talk to Xu Fengjie alone. He does not have this right now. In the end, I could only let go and say, “I’m waiting for you outside.”

       He left Xu Fengjie’s room, He Yunsheng closed the door from inside, so he had to walk to the sofa and sit down.

       After a while, Xu Fengjie’s mother poured him a cup of tea and put it on the coffee table.

       Xi Feng looked at the old lady’s wrinkled hands and haggard face, and suddenly thought of his mother, so he couldn’t help but feel a twitch in his heart. He felt sorry for the old lady. Not only was the old lady pitiful, but Xu Fengjie was also pitiful. If Xu Fengjie was not a homosexual to begin with, if Xu Fengjie got married, and he was willing to live a good life and didn’t create problems, then this family wouldn’t be like this.

       He waited outside for about twenty minutes. He felt extremely impatient, but he couldn’t show it.

       After a while, He Yunsheng pushed open the door and came out from inside, meeting the old lady’s expectant gaze, he said nothing but, “We’re leaving, I won’t come to see him again.”

       The old lady couldn’t care less about He Yunsheng and hurried into Xu Fengjie’s bedroom to see his current situation.

       He Yunsheng and Xi Feng came out of Xu Fengjie’s house one after another. They entered the elevator without speaking.

       Later, until he got into the car, Xi Feng asked him: “Did you make it clear to him?”

       He Yunsheng looked at the rearview mirror and reversed the car, “I said I am very happy now, and I hope he will not bother me.”

       Xi Feng breathed a sigh of relief when he heard this, but after a while he couldn’t help but asked again, “Do you think that he’s really given up?”

       He Yunsheng replied, “I don’t know if he has given up in his heart. But anyway, I gave up long ago. I won’t force myself to be with someone I don’t love, even if he threatens me with death, it’s useless.”

       He Yunsheng was expressionless when he said this, and Xi Feng felt a little uncomfortable.

       After driving the car out for a while, He Yunsheng seemed to suddenly come back to his senses and asked Xi Feng, “Aren’t you going back? Your girlfriend seems to be still there, right? Do you want me to take you back to the wedding banquet?”

       Xi Feng said quickly, “No, I told her I wouldn’t go back this afternoon. Let’s find a place to eat something first.”

       As soon as he said that, Xu Qing called.

       Xi Feng turned his head to answer the phone in a low voice. When he heard Xu Qing questioning him where he had gone and telling him to hurry back, he said, “I haven’t finished my business yet. You can play mahjong with your colleagues in the afternoon.”

       Xu Qing said a few words and hung up the phone a little angrily.

       He Yunsheng could guess who he was talking to and opened his mouth to speak, but in the end he didn’t say anything because he didn’t think he was in a position to meddle in Xi Feng’s business.

　　Later, He Yunsheng said that because his business disturbed Xi Feng’s meal, he would be the one who would pay for the meal. Xi Feng thought for a long time, and pointed to a western restaurant that was far away. That restaurant has both food and light afternoon snacks, so that he can sit with He Yunsheng for a while longer.

       In the end, He Yunsheng was stuck in traffic for a while on his way there. When they arrived at the destination, it was already three o’clock in the afternoon.

       They sat down in a secluded corner of the restaurant and ordered a meal for one.

       Xi Feng has a huge build, by this time he was famished but he was still very satisfied that he spent so long in the car with He Yunsheng.

       They sat down and said nothing for a while, Xi Feng opened a conversation and said, “I think Xu Fengjie’s mother looks too pitiful.”

       He Yunsheng held the lemonade and looked at him.

       Xi Feng didn’t actually think too carefully about what he wanted to say. He just wanted to say a few more words to He Yunsheng, and then said, “You are like this. Have you ever thought about how the parents would feel?”

       He Yunsheng took a deep breath, as if suppressing something, he put the glass of water on the table and said, “I understand that he considers the feelings of his parents and chooses to break up, so I didn’t bother him.”

       Xi Feng said, “I don’t mean that. I mean, since he can marry a wife and have children, so can you. Why do you keep being gay, and have others pointing their fingers at you?”

       He Yunsheng couldn’t help but sneered, “Do you think I should find a woman and trick them into getting married?”

　　Xi Feng was stunned by what He Yunsheng said, and he put more thought into his words, “This can’t be called a fraudulent marriage. You see, so many people get married when they are old and they feel that they are suitable for each other. Does everyone have to find someone they love to marry? Does it mean that if I don’t love the other party enough, I lied and tricked them by being married to them?”

　　He Yunsheng’s fingers squeezed the glass fiercely. If he didn’t know that Xi Feng had always spoken and acted without thinking, he would splash a glass of lemonade on his face. He said, “I’m not like you. I can’t even get hard on women, and I can’t even give my wife a complete family if I get married. At that time, no matter how good I treat her, I’m still deceiving her. I won’t get married.”

       Xi Feng looked gloomy and said, “Then when you are old, you won’t have a family, and you won’t have children. Isn’t it pitiful to be alone?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him for a long time, and said in a cold voice, “Thank you for your concern.”

       Actually Xi Feng genuinely concerned about He Yunsheng, and even felt sad for the miserable old He Yunsheng he envisioned. He didn’t want He Yunsheng to become like that. He said, “I don’t understand how it is with your community, but I still think this is not right. You are too selfish. Why don’t you think about it for those who care about you.”

　　He Yunsheng leaned back, he breathed heavily to calm his mood, feeling that he was almost laughing with anger, and finally said, “If you don’t understand, you don’t have to understand. This is everyone’s choice in life, not marrying a wife and having children. It is not selfish to not want to marry a wife and have children. The outcome of not wanting to let my parents down is being sorry for myself and my innocent wife. My sexual orientation is inherent, and I cannot be drowned to pursue perfection.”

       Xi Feng clasped his hands in front of him, and said, “Maybe it can be changed.”

       He Yunsheng suddenly felt that he had nothing to say to him.

       Xi Feng still did not give up, “How about you find a girlfriend to try?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him, sighed weakly, and said, “Since you are full of curiosity about our community, then I will take you to have a look.”

       The two of them ate and sat in the restaurant for a while, and He Yunsheng asked Xi Feng to get into his car.

       Xi Feng was a little nervous, “Where are we going?”

       He Yunsheng said, “To my friend’s bar.”

       Xi Feng instantly understood that the bar He Yunsheng was talking about should be a gay bar. He had never been to that kind of place, so he couldn’t help but ask He Yunsheng, “Do you go there often?”

       He Yunsheng shook his head, “I don’t, but I occasionally go for a drink.”

       Xi Feng had a drink with He Yunsheng before. He knew that He Yunsheng was very restrained in drinking. Now when he heard him say to go to the bar, he asked, “Do you drink a lot?”

       He Yunsheng glanced at him, “What do you want to ask?”

       Xi Feng stammered and said that he didn’t understand. He just thought the circle was messy. He didn’t know if He Yunsheng went to a bar to drink, or if he also had a one-night stand with others.

       But he couldn’t ask these questions.

       Since he didn’t ask, He Yunsheng naturally didn’t want to say it. He Yunsheng stayed silent and concentrated on driving.

       The bar is owned by He Yunsheng’s friend. He Yunsheng doesn’t come often but the waiters and bartenders also know him. It was early when they arrived, and He Yunsheng found a secluded corner and sat down with Xi Feng. He casually ordered two more bottles of beer.

　　Someone was playing guitar and singing on the small stage of the bar. He Yunsheng put his arms on his chest and leaned on the back of the sofa chair to concentrate on listening to the song.

       Xi Feng also sat in silence, his gaze directed at the people coming in through the bar’s front door from time to time.

　　The later the time, the more people in the bar. The person who originally sang on the stage went down, and was replaced by a woman in a low-cut dress. She stood in front of the microphone and sang the first line before Xi Feng realized that the person was not a woman at all, but a man in women’s clothing.

　　The seats in the bar are full, and there are many people standing or sitting in front of the bar. There are men and women here, but it is not clear how many of them are male and female, because he also saw several pairs of lesbians. They were all young and beautiful women, but it’s difficult to watch them hugging.

       Xi Feng noticed that someone was looking in their direction and he suddenly felt uncomfortable. He turned his head to look at He Yunsheng, only to find that he had a bottle in his hand, and was drinking heavily.

       He Yunsheng finished a bottle and raised his hand to ask the waiter to bring another bottle.

       Xi Feng was taken aback, he grabbed He Yunsheng’s hand, “Why are you drinking so much?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him and shook his hand away, and the look in his eyes just now is filled with some lethargy and impatience.

       Xi Feng realized that He Yunsheng was in a bad mood. Perhaps he was already in a bad mood since he came back from Xu Fengjie’s place today, but his good self restraint kept him from showing it. It was not until he was sitting in the bar, under the dim and disorienting environment, that He Yunsheng started to fill the bottle with his own wine.

       The beer was not completely swallowed, and the liquid slid down his jaw to his white neck, leaving a shiny trail.

       Xi Feng noticed that a tall man was looking at He Yunsheng, and then walked towards them with a wine glass in his hand. Xi Feng immediately grabbed He Yunsheng’s wrist and said, “Stop drinking, how are you going to drive back later?”

       He Yunsheng said irritably, “I will take care of myself. If you don’t like it here, you can leave first.”

       Hearing his impatient tone, Xi Feng realized that he was already half-drunk.

       At this time, the tall man had already walked to their table, swaying the wine glass in his hand and yelled, “Yunsheng.”

       Xi Feng was taken aback, He Yunsheng looked up, and then sat up, “Cong ge*?”

       The man called Cong Yu, is the friend He Yunsheng said, the owner of this bar. He used to come from the same school as He Yunsheng and Xu Fengjie, and he watched the two people from the time they met to the time they got together to the time they finally broke up.

       Cong Yu sat down on the sofa, put the wine glass on the table, and said to He Yunsheng, “Drink with the glass.”

       He Yunsheng looked at him and let out a laugh.

       Cong Yu raised his jaw in the direction of Xi Feng, “Friend?”

       He Yunsheng said, “Company colleague.”

       Xi Feng did not expect that he was not even a friend to He Yunsheng, but just a colleague of the company. He felt something choking his heart.

       But He Yunsheng didn’t care about those, and said to Cong Yu, “I went to see Xu Fengjie today.”

       Cong Yu sighed when he heard the words, and said, “I’ve visited him before, and he’s really not very good.”

　　Xi Feng took a sip of the wine bottle depressedly, stood up and said, “I’m going to the bathroom.” He really did not want to sit there and listen to He Yunsheng and that person talk about his previous emotional entanglements. However, he felt unwilling to leave him just like this, and Xi Feng himself can’t figure out why he felt that way.

       He grabbed the waiter on the way and asked for the direction of the restroom. When he walked over and pulled open the door of the men’s room, he saw someone in a skirt walking out and was so scared that he leaned against the door.

       As a result, the woman walked up to him and gave a raspy laugh. It wasn’t until he touched his chest that he realized that this person was a man.

       The man in a skirt and a wig said to him, “Gege**, please buy me a drink.”

       Xi Feng suddenly felt sick. He pushed the man away and said, “Go away!” Then he went to the bathroom, hesitated in front of the urinal, and finally went to the compartment and locked the door.

       He was standing in front of the toilet, thinking of the mess of people in this bar, and he was upset. Just like the man who touched him just now, he wanted to send him home with a punch. The man doesn’t look good in it, why was he wearing a skirt pretending to be a woman?

       Xi Feng stood for a long time to suppress his anger, opened the zipper to pee, and made a decision as soon as he finished the pee. He wanted to go back now and take He Yunsheng away. This kind of environment is really not suitable for He Yunsheng. In his memory, He Yunsheng has always been a clean and decent man and shouldn’t become a degenerate.

       He strode out of the bathroom, ignoring the various demons and monsters who had been talking to him all the way. But his full momentum wilted when he saw Cong Yu put He Yunsheng on his shoulders. He thought that since Cong Yu opened gay bar, he must be gay. He Yunsheng is alone now, and it is hard to guarantee that there won’t be any ambiguous development with this person surnamed Cong.

       He Yunsheng was still drinking, and even Cong Yu began to grab his glass and told him to stop drinking.

       Xi Feng walked over and yelled lightly, “He Yunsheng?”

       Cong Yu saw him coming and helped He Yunsheng stand up and said, “You’re his colleague, can you please take him home? He’s had too much to drink, it’s best not to let him drink any more.”

       Xi Feng also had this idea, and he quickly stepped forward to support He Yunsheng and said, “I will take him away now.”

       He Yunsheng pushed him and said, “Cong ge, I’m fine, I know what I’m doing.”

       Cong Yu looked a little helpless, and he said to Xi Feng, “Yunsheng is not a good drinker, he can still talk clearly now, but I guess he won’t be able to once he leaves this door, so don’t give him any more drinks.”

       Xi Feng said, “I also thought about telling him to stop drinking, and I will send him home.”

       Cong Yu nodded, and first called a chauffeur. Sure enough, as he said, while waiting for the chauffeur, He Yunsheng became more and more drunk.

　　When the chauffeur came, Cong Yu helped Xi Feng help He Yunsheng out together, and then told the address of the driver He Yunsheng’s home. Then he bent down and said to Xi Feng who was sitting in the back seat, “Be careful on the road, I’m sorry to trouble you. “

       Xi Feng put his arm around He Yunsheng’s waist, and said, “Don’t worry, leave it to me. I will definitely send him home.”

       The drunken He Yunsheng did not make a fuss, but quietly leaned his head on Xi Feng’s shoulder and slept.

       Xi Feng was afraid that his glasses would squeeze off, so he first reached out to help him take it off, and used his fingers to sweep his hair that was a bit messy on his cheeks.

       He is a person in his thirties, how come he looks like a child when he is drunk? Xi Feng stared at He Yunsheng’s face in a daze, as he thought to himself.

　　The chauffeur took them safely to the parking lot of He Yunsheng’s neighborhood. Xi Feng got out and paid for the car, and only after the chauffeur returned the keys to him and left did he go to the back seat and try to wake He Yunsheng up.

       He Yunsheng was not so drunk that he was unconscious, he opened his eyes and asked in a daze, “Who are you?”

       Xi Feng was a little hurt, but he thought he didn’t have to bother with a drunk, so he simply carried him out of the car relying on his own strength.

---

The author has something to say:

I have a plan on the next chapter

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*ge = way of saying brother

**gege = big brother

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       Before Xi Feng had time to sort out his complicated feelings for He Yunsheng, he received an invitation from Lu Xiaomei. (Lu Xiaomei was the girl who is in ambiguous relationship with Xi Feng at the beginning of the article, but later dumped him mercilessly)*

       When Xi Feng held the invitation card, he didn’t have much thoughts. At that time, his feelings for Lu Xiaomei had already disappeared. He was at loss, holding the invitation card in his hand for a long time, and then suddenly threw it on the table. He thought about how Lu Xiaomei was giving him a hard time at that time, and now she really has the nerve to send this invitation over!

       However Xi Feng is good at maintaining his image. Now that he has received the invitations, he still intends to attend. And he heard that most people in the company, whether they are close or not with Lu Xiaomei, were given invitations to her marriage. Several colleagues in Xi Feng’s department were not very happy, and they said they wanted to pool resources for Lu Xiaomei’s wedding gift , and Xi Feng also joined in.

       On the wedding day, Xi Feng went with Xu Qing.

       At first, Xi Feng was a little unhappy, and he didn’t understand why he felt this way. He was always not too keen to announce his relationship with Xu Qing in front of the other colleagues. However, the relationship between them was originally semi-public. So long as the colleagues who are close to them already know it, there is nothing to hide.

       Xu Qing noticed Xi Feng was responding vaguely, and asked with a cold face, “Does being in a relationship with me make you feel ashamed?”

       Xi Feng was taken aback when he heard the words, and quickly said, “How can it be? It never crossed my mind.”

       Xu Qing was still angry, picked up the bag and turned around and left, “If you don’t want to disclose it, then let’s break up.”

       Xi Feng grabbed his hair and was suffering for almost half the day. In the end, he bought a bouquet of flowers and took them directly to the company to give them to Xu Qing. At that time, he was surrounded by many colleagues to watch the excitement.

       Xu Qing was in a good mood, and when she took the flowers, she hugged Xi Feng and kissed him.

       Then everyone applauded.

       The scene happened in the corridor of Xu Qing’s office. When Xu Qing kissed Xi Feng, Xi Feng saw He Yunsheng coming out of a nearby office with a sheet in his hand. He was shocked and almost reached out to push Xu Qing away. Fortunately, he was rational enough to stop himself from doing that.

       He Yunsheng looked up at them and saw the large bouquet of roses in Xu Qing’s hand. He passed by them without saying anything.

       As he passed by, Xi Feng saw He Yunsheng’s mouth curled up slightly as if he was smiling, and his own mood collapsed for no reason. He forced himself not to look at He Yunsheng’s back.

       Now that his relationship with Xu Qing was made public, it was logical to go to Lu Xiaomei’s wedding together.

       The wedding was on Saturday. When Xi Feng picked out clothes in the wardrobe the night before, he thought it would be good to let Lu Xiaomei know that he also had a girlfriend, in case the other party still looked down on him.

       But then he thought of He Yunsheng and couldn’t help feeling depressed. By now, Xi Feng has increasingly suspected that there might be a problem with his initial judgment.

       He slowly failed to understand He Yunsheng’s attitude towards him. Did he misunderstand him at the beginning, or after experiencing so many things, He Yunsheng’s original feelings have been wiped clean?

       At the same time, in addition to feeling something terrible inside his heart, he always felt that he cares too much about He Yunsheng, which is not normal, but because of some reasons he didn’t dare to delve in further for he was always afraid that he will also fall into an irreversible abyss.

       On the day of Lu Xiaomei’s wedding, Xi Feng went to the wedding banquet restaurant with Xu Qing.

       Many of the guests who came one after another were colleagues from one of their companies. A male colleague greeted Xi Feng to sit with him, but Xu Qing took him by the arm and said, “No drinking!” Then she had to make Xi Feng sit with her at the table of female colleagues.

       Xi Feng felt a little distressed, but he didn’t want to argue with Xu Qing in public, so he sat at the table she wanted. As a result, as soon as they sat down, the company’s female colleagues made jokes on them and asked them if something good was about to come. Xi Feng felt even more uncomfortable.

       He sat for less than five minutes, and the wedding hadn’t started yet, and suddenly heard a familiar hoarse voice behind him.

       Xi Feng couldn’t help but immediately turned his head to look, and saw He Yunsheng standing not far from their table, talking to a colleague.

       They didn’t talk much, He Yunsheng nodded and said goodbye. He turned around to look inside, probably looking for a seat.

       Xi Feng saw that there was still a place next to him, and subconsciously wanted to call He Yunsheng, but He Yunsheng walked inside without looking back, and finally sat down beside his young colleague in the Finance Department.

       “Hey!” Xu Qing suddenly bumped his arm.

       Xi Feng suddenly came back to his senses, “What?”

       Xu Qing said, “Why are you so absent-minded when I’m talking to you?”

       Xi Feng shook his head, “Nothing.”

       He was really distracted, and he doesn’t need Xu Qing to remind him. He knows it in his heart.

       After a short time, the wedding officially began.

       Lu Xiaomei is very beautiful, and she has a better figure and more delicate facial features than Xu Qing. Today she wore a wedding dress with a shining brilliance, and the flowers she held in her hands were all pale in comparison.

       Xi Feng’s cell phone rang, he clicked to open it and saw that it was a WeChat sent by a colleague, asking him if he felt sorry seeing Lu Xiaomei.

       At that time, he was pursuing Lu Xiaomei, and many of his colleagues in the company knew about it. Although he failed at the end, Xi Feng no longer felt it was unbearable when he heard someone joked about it.

       Seeing this WeChat today, Xi Feng found himself not feeling anything. Not even feeling regretful or unwilling, Lu Xiaomei has completely become a passer-by in his life.

       After hesitating on how to reply, Xi Feng suddenly found that He Yunsheng stood up from his seat with his mobile phone and was walking out from the middle of the table.

       He Yunsheng’s brow was slightly frowned, and the phone in his hand was still on, as if he was on a call.

       Even though he knew that his behavior was a little abnormal, Xi Feng couldn’t help standing up and trying to follow.

       Xu Qing grabbed his arm and asked, “Where to go?”

       Xi Feng said, “I want to go to the bathroom.”

       Xu Qing whispered, “Why are you going to the bathroom just after sitting down?”

       Xi Feng did not answer her, and continued to walk outside.

       He Yunsheng was walking faster than Xi Feng. Outside the banquet hall was a long corridor, and he walked straight to the end of the corridor. He Yunsheng stood in front of a window to answer the phone.

       Xi Feng came out and walked slowly in his direction. The carpet on the and the faint music in the banquet hall completely covered his footsteps.

       He Yunsheng answered the phone with a cold tone, “What are you still calling for?”

       Xi Feng did not dare to get too close, he could hear what He Yun was saying, but he could not catch the voice on the other side of the phone at all.

       He Yunsheng was silent for a while, and he continued: “It has nothing to do with me, that was your own choice.”

       ……

       “You are an adult, Xu Fengjie. Be a bit responsible.”

       ……

       “I don’t know where you heard that, but I’m doing fine and don’t need you to worry about it.”

       After that was a long silence, He Yunsheng should be listening to the person on the other side of the phone.

       Xi Feng waited anxiously.

       Then He Yunsheng said, “I’ll come over now.”

       After saying that he was about to hang up the phone, Xi Feng stepped forward and grabbed his arm, saying, “Don’t go!”

       He Yunsheng looked at him in surprise, “Were you eavesdropping on my phone call?”

       Xi Feng said, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it, but you’d better not go.”

       He Yunsheng raised his hand and waved him away, “It has nothing to do with you, right?” Then he tried to pass by Xi Feng and leave.

       But Xi Feng grabbed his wrist again and said earnestly, “Listen to me, you’re giving him unrealistic hopes by going over there like this, you really shouldn’t go.”

       He Yunsheng looked like he was going to be mad, but there were guests that came late, people who came out of the banquet hall to make a call and go to the bathroom in the corridor from time to time, so he suppressed his emotions and said to Xi Feng in a low voice, “His mother is crying and begging me. Now, I just want to talk to him face to face and tell him to cherish his life and stop pestering someone who doesn’t love him.”

       Xi Feng said, “But he will think you still care about him.”

       He Yunsheng looked at Xi Feng, “I really didn’t care about him. But after all, we have been together for so many years, and just because I didn’t want to go back to him doesn’t mean I wanted him dead.”

       Xi Feng didn’t know how to refute He Yunsheng’s words. He just grabbed a handful of his hair irritably and said, “You’re just too kind.”

       Hearing this, He Yunsheng laughed self-deprecatingly for some unknown reason.

       Xi Feng’s heart was in a mess. He felt that he might not be able to stop He Yunsheng from meeting his ex-boyfriend, so he said, “I’ll accompany you.”

       He Yunsheng was slightly taken aback when he heard the words, “There’s no need for you to do so.”

       Xi Feng said, “I’m serious. I can pretend to be your boyfriend to make him give up, right?”

       He Yunsheng stared at Xi Feng’s collar in a daze. In fact, he had considered it before, thinking that he could just find someone to pretend to be his lover and talk to Xu Fengjie clearly. But he hasn’t been able to find a suitable person.

       Although he knows some people in this circle, most of the people he knows, Xu Fengjie, also know. Among them, there are others that are interesting to him but he is not willing to accept. If it is outside the circle, even though his sexuality is not a secret, he couldn’t be so brazen to find someone to pretend to be his lover.

       Thinking about it, Xi Feng is still a good choice.

       First of all, Xi Feng knew about the mess between him and Xu Fengjie. Second, Xi Feng was a straight man and had a girlfriend. After helping him to perform the act, it would really be over. There would be no other thoughts.

       It’s just that He Yunsheng still feels lingering fear for Xi Feng, and can’t help saying: “I hope you know what you’re doing. I don’t have any extra thoughts about you. Acting is just acting.” If Xi Feng wants to grab ahold of his affairs and talk about it everywhere, there’s nothing he can do.

       Xi Feng heard him, but felt a little sad for no reason. He held his wrist and said, “I know, I’m sorry, I just want to help you.”

       He Yunsheng glanced at the time when he heard the words, “I’m going over there now. What do you need to do on the wedding side?”

       Xi Feng said quickly, “You go down first, wait two minutes for me, and I will come down immediately after telling…”

       He Yunsheng hesitated a little, and finally nodded in response, “I’m really sorry to trouble you.”

       Xi Feng smiled, “It doesn’t matter. We’re friends after all.”

       He Yunsheng then also smiled, with a touch of mockery.

---

*info from the author

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       Xi Feng’s legs are long and he is fast. He ran over in two steps and saw the old lady still chasing He Yunsheng, and quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her aside. Because Xi Feng used too much strength, the old woman’s legs were unsteady and she nearly fell again, and she kept cursing, “Shameless!”

       He Yunsheng did not respond, he just suddenly squatted down, reaching out and picking up something on the ground.

       Xi Feng looked over and discovered that He Yunsheng’s glasses had been knocked out just now. Not only his glasses were knocked out, when they were pulling and tugging, no one knew who stepped on it, but now the lens has broken.

       He Yunsheng sighed silently.

       But after the old lady cursed him for being shameless, she seemed to be exhausted. She started crying again, covering her face, and said, “Go and see him, tell him clearly to give up.”

       He Yunsheng’s face slowly became red and swollen. He held the broken glasses in his hand, and calmly said to the old lady, “I have made it clear to him, and we haven’t been in contact for the past three years. So there’s no point for you to look for me.”

　　The old lady burst into tears. If it weren’t for Xi Feng’s support, she would have slipped and fell to the ground. She said, “He won’t listen to anyone, just go and talk to him. If you hadn’t seduced him in the first place, he wouldn’t be in this state now.”

       Xi Feng saw He Yunsheng’s face turned unsightly. He wanted to say something but found himself unable to intervened because he knew nothing about He Yunsheng’s past, and he wasn’t even sure what they were arguing about.

       He Yunsheng finally persuaded sincerely, “You should go. If you let me meet with him now, there is no guarantee that things will not develop in the worst way.”

       The old lady was stunned, it’s unclear what she recalled, but she was lost in thought for a long time. She pushed Xi Feng away and turned and left slowly.

       At first, Xi Feng felt that the old woman’s action against He Yunsheng was too despicable, but now he felt pity when he saw her staggering at an old age, so he couldn’t help but go after her and ask, “Are you okay?”

       The old lady didn’t say anything and pushed him away with force to continue walking forward.

　　 Xi Feng looked at her back, couldn’t help but looked back at He Yunsheng, and asked, “Is it okay for her to leave like this?”

       He Yunsheng also looked at her back, closed his eyes and said, “There’s nothing I can do.”

       There was nothing he could do. Their lives are tied in an intractable situation, and even if they spend their entire lives, they wouldn’t be able to find a solution.

       Xi Feng watched He Yunsheng still clutching his broken glasses, and asked, “Are you okay? Can you still drive?”

       He Yunsheng seemed to come back to his senses. He squeezed the frame with his fingers, raised his head and said to Xi Feng, “Can I trouble you to drop me off at noon to pick up a file? I have an appointment with a client.”

       Xi Feng was taken aback, and said quickly, “Oh, no problem.”

       When they were arguing before, the company’s colleagues were all watching from a distance. But now that they saw He Yunsheng and Xi Feng got into the car, they dispersed.

       Xi Feng pulled open the driver’s seat and sat in. He then saw two female colleagues passing by their car arm in arm. They smiled and glanced back at him, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

       He Yunsheng got on the passenger’s seat, rubbed his eyes tiredly, turned his head and said to Xi Feng, “Do you want to adjust the seat position?”

       Xi Feng had long legs. He was curled up in the driver’s seat, looking a little bit cramped. But at this time, Xi Feng’s attention was on the two female colleagues, and he did not hear He Yunsheng’s words.

       He Yunsheng then leaned over to help him pull the adjustment lever under the driver’s seat.

       Xi Feng suddenly saw He Yunsheng bury his head against his legs. He was startled and ducked to the side.

       He Yunsheng paused for a while, but in the end he continued to move and pulled the adjustment lever to help Xi Feng move the seat back for a while.

       “Don’t worry,” He Yunsheng sat up straight and said, “I don’t have AIDS, and I don’t think of you that way.”

       Xi Feng’s entire body was pressed against the car door. He could only feel that his heart was beating wildly, and his attention was still focused on the He Yunsheng sudden approach just now. He saw a part of He Yunsheng’s white neck, and even smelled a faint smell, not knowing whether it was shower gel or perfume. When he finally reacted, He Yunsheng had finished speaking for a while, and Xi Feng could only say awkwardly, “I didn’t mean that.”

       He Yunsheng leaned his head back on the back of the chair. His nearsighted eyes were deprived of glasses all of a sudden and it became a little out of focus. He squinted his eyes slightly to get used to the blur in front of him, and said, “Anyway, thank you.”

       There have been many unpleasant experiences between him and Xi Feng, but like what happened just now, when everyone shunned him, only Xi Feng stood up to help him.

       Xi Feng was silent for a moment and asked him, “Where are you going?”

       Xi Feng started the car, and he slowly drove forward. He has been holding his driver’s license for a long time, but he has not driven much, so he appears to be extra cautious.

       He Yunsheng looked tired, and sat next to him without saying a word.

       Xi Feng focused on driving and didn’t dare to be distracted.

　　After arriving at the destination, He Yunsheng got out of the car to get the document. Xi Feng parked the car in the parking lot on the roadside and waited for him. After a while, he saw He Yunsheng coming out of the building next to him, squinting slightly and looking around, so he honked the horn.

       He Yunsheng followed the sound, and stood beside the car door and said to him: “Let’s eat first, and then go back eating.”

       “Oh, okay,” Hearing He Yunsheng’s suggestion, Xi Feng agreed without hesitation.

       After Xi Feng got out of the car, the two of them walked along the side of the road. Before walking to the restaurant, He Yunsheng saw an optical shop, so he went in and got a new pair of glasses, and then came out to get back after the meal.

       Later, they could only find a western restaurant nearby. They went in and sat down. He Yunsheng said, “I’ll treat you as a thanks for accompanying me on this trip..”

       When Xi Feng heard the words, he said quickly, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll pay.”

       He Yunsheng didn’t have the strength to argue with him, and only said, “Let’s put the matter aside after eating.”

       While waiting for the meal, Xi Feng looked at He Yunsheng on the opposite side, and finally couldn’t help but ask, “What was that just now…?”

       He Yunsheng didn’t want to answer, “It’s nothing.”

　　Xi Feng grabbed the phone, turned the screen on for a while, then locked it again. After turning over and over, he couldn’t help saying, “I won’t tell anyone. In fact I thought about it for quite a while afterwards, and I think I can understand it.”

       He Yunsheng looked at him, “Understand about what?”

       Xi Feng said quickly, “Understand about people like you…”

       As a result, He Yunsheng let out a laugh that sounded like a sneer, “People like us, huh.”

       Xi Feng was embarrassed again, his mouth moved and said nothing.

       He Yunsheng took a deep breath and said, “That was my ex-boyfriend’s mother just now.”

       Xi Feng had already guessed it in his heart, but at this time his attention was a little off, he asked He Yunsheng, “You have an ex-boyfriend?”

       He Yunsheng felt a little funny, “If I don’t have an ex-boyfriend, how do you guys know that I am gay?”

       Xi Feng didn’t actually mean that. He just suddenly thought: Then did He Yunsheng have sex with his ex-boyfriend? How did he do it?

       Perhaps He Yunsheng has suppressed the thoughts for a long time. He raised his hand and wiped his face, “We have been together since college and have experienced a lot of things. But three years ago he planned to get married, we broke up at that time.”

       Although he said the words very simply now, but at that time, the two people had a big fight.

       He Yunsheng’s ex-boyfriend’s name is Xu Fengjie. He was a senior at his university, a grade higher than him. At that time, Xu Fengjie took the initiative to pursue He Yunsheng, and it took almost a year for the two to get together. Xu Fengjie treats him very well, and He Yunsheng also likes him very much. In the years they have been together, they rarely even quarreled.

       Then when Xu Fengjie was in his early thirties, he was unable to bear the pressure of the family, and he dated a woman he met on a blind date.

       He didn’t tell He Yunsheng about the woman at the beginning, even until they were talking about marriage and getting married. He Yunsheng only knew about it from others.

       He Yunsheng was disgusted at the time. He packed his things and moved out of the house they bought together. He didn’t expect Xu Fengjie wanted to continue to maintain a relationship with He Yunsheng while planning to get married.

       It was later at the time when Xu Fengjie pestered He Yunsheng on the street that he was seen by others. After he was seen by other colleagues, the fact that He Yunsheng is gay was spread throughout the company.

       “Is he married?” Xi Feng asked, wondering in his heart why his mother would come to pester He Yunsheng when that man was already married.

       He Yunsheng nodded, took a sip of lemonade on the table, “He was married, and divorced three years later.”

       Xi Feng was stunned, and asked incomprehensibly, “What does his mother mean by looking for you?”

       He Yunsheng held the water glass in silence for a while, then slowly said, “He attempted to commit suicide due to depression. He said he wanted to see me, so his mother hoped that I could meet him and told him that there’s no possibility for us two in the future.”

       Xi Feng suddenly felt heavy. He didn’t understand why, but he felt quite uncomfortable. He stared at He Yunsheng for a long time and said, “Don’t go…”

       He Yunsheng said, “I didn’t plan to go, and breaking up means everything is over. From now on, his life has nothing to do with me.”

       Xi Feng didn’t want He Yunsheng to see his ex-boyfriend, but he didn’t know why he thought that way. It was as if he was worried that He Yunsheng would feel weak when he went to see him, and then they would get back together. After all, the man has been divorced, and He Yunsheng was still alone, right?

       As he thought of this, Xi Feng couldn’t restrain his curiosity, and asked, “What about your family? Can they accept it?”

       He Yunsheng said in a calm tone, “My father has passed away, and my mother remarried when I was very young. Now she has her own family.”

       Xi Feng said in a low voice, “I’m sorry.”

　　He Yunsheng smiled, “It’s fine. You made the right decision to stay away from me. The feeling of being looked at by everyone with strange eyes is really uncomfortable. I’ve been holding back these words for a long time, and I haven’t found anyone to talk about those things. I feel a little more comfortable saying those out loud. “

       Xi Feng lowered his head, crossed his fingers and rubbed his thumb uncomfortably.

       The waiter brought the meal they ordered.

       He Yunsheng said, “Let’s eat, we should go back after eating.”

       After eating, Xi Feng rushed to pay the bills, so He Yunsheng did not insist.

       They went to pick up He Yunsheng’s glasses on the way back, and when they returned, He Yunsheng was the one who drove instead.

       Xi Feng sat in the passenger seat and kept secretly observing He Yunsheng’s from the corner of his eyes until his mobile phone rang. The call came from Xu Qing, and Xi Feng suddenly didn’t want to answer it. But the phone kept ringing. He Yunsheng glanced at him and said, “Why don’t you answer it?”

       So Xi Feng answered the phone, and Xu Qing asked him if he had eaten lunch. He said, “I went out with my boss for an official business.”

       Xu Qing complained, “You are still being exploited during the lunch break?”

       Xi Feng could only laugh dryly and said, “I’ll tell you when I come back.” Then he hung up the phone.

       He thought He Yunsheng would ask him something, but He Yunsheng didn’t ask anything. He just drove the car quietly until he went back to the company’s underground parking lot. He Yunsheng parked the car and turned his head, and said to Xi Feng again, “Thank you.”

       Xi Feng always felt that the relationship between him and He Yunsheng would change after this time, but in the end it seemed like nothing had changed.

       Of course, He Yunsheng doesn’t look at him coldly when he meets him occasionally in the company, but at most he just nods to him.

       As the time passed, no one mentioned the rumours about him and He Yunsheng again, plus Xi Feng already has a girlfriend. It was just a joke to begin with, and no one really thought Xi Feng was a homosexual.

       Everyone is gradually forgetting this matter, even He Yunsheng seems to have forgotten about the matter. The only person who still cares about it is Xi Feng.

---

The author has something to say:

I supposed everyone has forgotten the previous plot!

---

Notes:
Fun Fact. Because this series is not a VIP series, so the release schedule is very erratic, and the gap between chapter 7 and 8 is around 2 months gaps. Thus the reason why author said so.

Check out the other hoeni’s work here~
Check out the angst novel I co-tl with my friend here~
And please buy me some kofi if you like the translation~

Also leave some ratings if you like this series here~

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       In the afternoon, when Xi Feng went to see He Yunsheng, he also brought two bags of cold medicine. Of course, the cold medicine was not his, but he asked for it from a female colleague in the office.

       The female colleague asked him if he had a cold, but Xi Feng just hummed and didn’t answer.

       At this time, it was the time for the finance department closing period. When Xi Feng entered the large office, he saw that everyone was immersed in work, and no one noticed him.

       This was a good thing for him. The last thing he wanted was to let everyone know that he was looking for He Yunsheng.

       He took a deep breath, thinking that although He Yunsheng had some problems, he shouldn’t discriminate against him, but at the same time he was afraid that he would be treated as the same kind of person as He Yunsheng, so he was struggling internally.

       He Yunsheng is in his small office.

       Xi Feng knocked on the door.

       He Yunsheng thought it was his subordinate, and said without looking up, “Come in.”

       Xi Feng walked in and saw that He Yunsheng did not realize that it was him, so he put the cold medicines on his desk, and at the same time asked, “Is your cold better?”

       He Yunsheng looked up in astonishment, his eyes under the lens showed some surprise, “Why are you here?”

　　Xi Feng stood next to his desk with his hands in his pockets. His tall figure blocked the light, giving a sense of oppression. He glanced at He Yunsheng’s computer screen and said, “I hope you don’t catch a cold, I came here to see you.”

　　He Yunsheng was a little puzzled, but he said politely, “Thank you.”

　　Then the conversation ended.

　　Xi Feng noticed some discomfort at this time, but he didn’t say anything and continued to say, “You seemed busy, huh?”

　　He Yunsheng responded, “Yes.”

　　At this time, someone hurriedly knocked on the door outside, yelling, “Manager!”

　　He Yunsheng raised his head and replied, “Please come in.”

　　It was an employee from the finance department who opened the door and came in. At first, he was surprised when he saw Xi Feng standing inside, but he didn’t care about what he was doing because of the work at hand, and he hurried to He Yunsheng and told him that there was a problem with the report.

　　He Yunsheng then took the report and looked at it, without paying attention to Xi Feng.

　　Xi Feng really felt embarrassed at this time, he reluctantly smiled and said, “Then I will go first.”

　　The two people in the office didn’t bother to answer him.

　　Xi Feng left unhappily.

　　Only when he left the office did He Yunsheng raise his head to look at his back, then lowered his head to continue analyzing the reports with the staff.

　　When he left the finance department’s big office and walked down the corridor, Xi Feng still couldn’t get rid of that almost melancholy mood.

　　He didn’t know what was going on with him, but even when he first met He Yunsheng and was not close with him, He Yunsheng had not been so indifferent to him.

　　Xi Feng’s head was in a mess, he found that he could not figure out what He Yunsheng was thinking. At the same time, he was a little at a loss to find out that he didn’t know what he wanted to do to He Yunsheng.

　　Does he want to go back to how it used to be? It’s almost impossible, right? He was the one who wanted to end their relation in the first place.

　　He felt a little dull in his heart, as if there’s some pressure that’s making him hard to breathe.

　　Before leaving work in the afternoon, Xu Qing texted Xi Feng and asked him if he would like to have dinner together at night.

　　Xi Feng stared at the phone screen for a while and did not refuse.

　　Although it was an invitation to test him by the other party, Xi Feng’s choice to accept it meant that the relationship between the two should continue to develop.

　　From that day on, the two began dating.

　　He didn’t dare to boast around, because he is afraid to let other people in the company know. So they exchange text messages before work, to pack together for a meal, go shopping, and watch movies after work.

　　Xi Feng doesn’t like Xu Qing, but he thinks that feelings of love can be cultivated. As long as two people get along for a long time, they will always gradually become intimate.

　　But in the past one or two months, Xi Feng has never come out of his absent-minded state.

　　They are still going somewhat strong at the beginning, but after a long time, being with Xu Qing every day feels like completing a task; eating meals that he didn’t want to eat, watching movies that he didn’t want to watch, but because of their relationship, he couldn’t easily refuse.

　　Xi Feng felt that he was under a bit of pressure.

　　So two months later, after hearing the news of his grandmother’s poor health, Xi Feng resolutely took his annual leave and planned to go back to his hometown.

　　Xu Qing was taken aback when she found out Xi Feng was asking for a leave suddenly, and said, “I was going to take time off to hang out with you.”

　　Xi Feng hastily apologized, “My family suddenly called me that my grandmother is sick and wants to see me, so I have to go back.”

　　At this point, Xu Qing can’t say anything more. She can only compromise, “Then once you go back, we’ll see where we can go on the National Day.*”

　　Xi Feng responded with a smile, “Okay.”

　　After that, he drove back to his hometown. On the way, Xi Feng kept thinking about his relationship with Xu Qing. If being together does not make you feel happy but only pressure, then shouldn’t he end it as soon as possible for the sake of them both?

　　But after going around for so long, the people he likes don’t like him, and the people who like him are the ones he has no feelings for. How difficult is it to meet a suitable person?

　　Is it possible that he is destined to be a bachelor in this life?

　　Xi Feng took a deep breath, and he felt restless.

　　When he returned to his hometown, his grandmother is in good condition. Her body was old and sick, and her condition has been going back and forth again and again every year. When Xi Feng was notified, his mother just mentioned it casually, saying that grandma had been in the hospital, and she didn’t expect that he would just rush back.

　　At home, his mother prepared his bed and asked him, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

　　Xi Feng immediately thought of Xu Qing, but still replied casually, “No.”

　　Mom said, “You can start to think about it.”

　　After that, nothing more was said.

　　The next day he went to grandma’s house. Since Xi Feng had come all the way back, his father’s siblings were all called back by his grandmother, and the large family had a meal together.

　　During the meal, Xi Feng realized that his aunt’s mood was not quite right, and his mother was talking about something in a low voice to the aunt.

　　Xi Feng found it hard to ask about it at that time, and later asked his mother after they returned.

　　In the end, his mother told him that Xi’s aunt eldest son, who was also Xi Feng’s eldest cousin, was gay.

　　Xi Feng was taken aback at the time. He has lived for more than 20 years. Before, he always thought that homosexuality was an uncommon word that only appeared in novels or TV. How come one or two people around him have become homosexual now?

　　His mom seemed to sighed with sorrow. She said that the eldest cousin did not get married when he was in his thirties, and later admitted to the family that he was gay. He also had a boyfriend who was beaten out by his dad. Fortunately, there is still a young man at home, otherwise, what should they do if there are two old people left.

　　These words made Xi Feng very uncomfortable, and suddenly he remembered He Yunsheng.

　　The whole company knows that He Yunsheng is gay, and his family probably knows it too. Speaking of which, He Yunsheng should be in his thirties this year, and Xi Feng doesn’t know how he dealt with these pressures.

　　Hearing his mother still rambling, Xi Feng could not help but say, “Homosexuality is not a perversion ……”

　　Mom glanced at him, “Young people these days. Anyway, our generation can’t accept it.”

　　The topic did not continue.

　　Xi Feng and his eldest cousin have been in a good relationship since they were young. But afterwards, as adults, they lived in a different place and eventually broke contact. At this point he hesitated to give his eldest cousin a call. After hesitating for a long time, he finally gave up. What to say after the call? He certainly can’t ask him: Eldest cousin, how come you become gay?

　　A week’s vacation passed in a flash.

　　For Xi Feng, the escape can only be temporary. When the short escape is over, he still has to come back to work in the company and face Xu Qing.

　　Let’s break up!

　　This thought is getting stronger and stronger in his head. Sitting on the bay window in the living room the day before work, Xi Feng repeatedly stroked his cell phone, struggling fiercely whether to send a text message to Xu Qing or not.

　　Because once they broke up, he had to find another woman again and try to establish another relationship again. And the woman he likes may still not like him, or he can’t find anyone he likes, so he can only find the next Xu Qing.

　　In the end, the text message was not sent.

　　Xi Feng went to work the next day, carrying a bunch of souvenirs from his hometown. He gave some to his boss and colleagues in the same department, and the remaining two bags are for Xu Qing, and the other is for He Yunsheng.

　　The bag for Xu Qing is the same as the gifts for other colleagues, but the one for He Yunsheng was specially selected.

　　Xi Feng did not know why he had to select a gift for He Yunsheng, but when he saw some dried wild herbs, he instantly remembered a sweet taste and He Yunsheng at the same time.

　　This clean and sweet taste seems to suit He Yunsheng.

　　Since that time he left He Yunsheng’s office unhappily, and the two people have not talked directly afterwards. Xi Feng sometimes thinks that He Yunsheng should like him, but sometimes he is not so sure.

　　He started to pay more attention to He Yunsheng more than ever, but He Yunsheng completely regarded him as a stranger.

　　At that time, he planned to improve the relationship, but after being treated indifferently, he also wanted to give up. Now, Xi Feng bought the present and said to himself that it was just for his colleagues, and he is just like other colleagues.

　　Didn’t He Yunsheng bring him raisins? At that time, he refused the gift to hurt the other party, and now he wanted to make amends.

　　Unfortunately, Xi Feng did not have the time to send the gift to He Yunsheng all morning. Even if he takes time off for a week, his work load is still the same, and even piled up so much that he is afraid that he will not be free for several days in a row.

　　He thought he would have to accompany Xu Qing for lunch, but Xu Qing sent a message before lunch, saying that she had to go out with her colleagues at noon, so Xi Feng was free, and other colleagues did not invited him, so he could only slowly pack up the documents and go out for lunch by myself.

　　As soon as he walked out of the company entrance, Xi Feng saw He Yunsheng’s car parked on the side of the road.

　　He was a little conscious to He Yunsheng’s car, even he has memorized his license plate number for a long time.

　　Xi Feng slowed down.

　　He Yunsheng was sitting inside the car, but pulled open the door and walked to the front, saying something to an old lady. The old lady seemed a bit agitated, and He Yunsheng seemed to be trying to calm her down.

　　Xi Feng suddenly thought of his big cousin, and he wondered if the old lady was He Yunsheng’s mother.

　　As a result, the old lady got more and more agitated as she spoke, and later ran to the front of He Yunsheng’s car and lay down.

　　It was time for lunch. Many colleagues in the company went out from the main entrance and just saw this scene. Xi Feng found that many people around him stopped to watch the excitement.

　　He Yunsheng walked over to help the old lady up. The old lady was not as strong as him, and after making her stand up with his arm, she suddenly slapped He Yunsheng’s hand and gave him a slap in the face.

　　A girl next to Xi Feng covered her mouth and gasped.

　　The slap was very hard, and everyone around could hear the sharp sound, and He Yunsheng’s head was also tilted.

　　Xi Feng couldn’t bear it anymore, and ran in the direction of He Yunsheng and the others.

---

The author has something to say:

In the past few days, I went to a training and took a test…

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*The National Day refers to PRC National Day is on 1st of October and usually around 3~7 days. For more info 

Notes:
Early update coz wicia buys me ko-fi after nagging me for update~ istg, she’s gonna be the death of me

Check out the other hoeni’s work here~
Check out the angst novel I co-tl with my friend here~
And please buy me some kofi if you like the translation~

Also leave some ratings if you like this series here~

P.S:

Please support the author if possible~
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       Xi Feng helped He Yunsheng to push the car to the parking area on the side of the road. In the end, He Yunsheng still couldn’t start the car successfully.

       When He Yunsheng got off the car again, he took an umbrella in his hand, opened it out. He walked to Xi Feng’s side and hold the umbrella for him, and said, “Let’s find a place to take shelter first.”

       The two ran back to the front of the company with an umbrella. In reality, the umbrella is no longer useful since both of them were completely drenched.

       Xi Feng’s wet hair was stuck on his cheek, and he looked at He Yunsheng.

       However, He Yunsheng avoided his eyes, and looked at the heavy rain that was still pouring on the street.

       The atmosphere was a bit awkward.

　　Xi Feng looked blankly at the heavy rain on the street, and when he turned his head, he noticed that He Yunsheng’s skin had been drenched by the heavy rain and was somewhat pale. It’s so pale that it almost looked transparent. His breathing seemed a bit brisk, and his drenched clothes stuck to his body. He could clearly see the curvature of his chest rising and falling, the sharply contoured collarbone, and his prominent adam’s apple.

       Realizing what he was looking at, Xi Feng snapped back to his senses, as if he had been burned by fire, and ran forward regardless of the heavy rain out there.

       He Yunsheng was stunned for a moment, but he did not stop Xi Feng, and just watched him run away in the heavy rain, as if he was avoiding a plague. He Yunsheng then turned around and went back to the company.

       He has clean clothes in the office. He couldn’t stand going home soaked.

       In the evening, Xi Feng took a shower and changed into pajamas, and sat down quietly on the bed. He recalled what happened in the afternoon, and reached out and hold his head.

       He felt that he was getting obsessed with He Yunsheng, because he didn’t know how to face He Yunsheng, and he couldn’t even understand his emotions towards He Yunsheng, which made him look like a fool when he faced him.

       When he went to work the next day, Xi Feng paid special attention to the place where He Yunsheng stopped yesterday and found that the car had already driven away, not knowing when he got someone to tow it away.

       Walking to the office, Xi Feng found that there was a pot plant on his desk, which he didn’t have yesterday. He looked around somewhat bewildered, and when he walked back to his seat and sat down, he noticed the ribbon bow tied on top of the flower pot.

       It was a potted gift.

       Almost instantly, Xi Feng remembered He Yunsheng. He thought it was a gift from He Yunsheng for what happened yesterday. Suddenly, Xi Feng’s mood jumped up, and at the same time he subconsciously wanted to put the flower pot away, afraid that others would see it. He didn’t want any colleagues to misunderstand the relationship between him and He Yunsheng.

       He took out his cell phone and hesitated if he should send a text message to He Yunsheng to ask. After typing several words, Xi Feng felt a little stupid, and so he put the cell phone aside.

       He looked down at the flower pot he received by his feet. The plant in the pot was bright green and tender. He suddenly realized that the lack of sunlight in this place would cause the plants to wither. He wanted to pick it up, but he didn’t want others to see it.

       While Xi Feng was hesitating, a person stood beside him and called him, “Feng ge*.”

       Xi Feng raised his head and saw a young female intern. The intern’s name is Xu Qing, and she studied at the same school with the female intern Xi Feng wanted to pursue before. That girl has left, while Xu Qing stayed in the company.

       In order to pursue that girl, Xi Feng asked her to eat many times, and almost every time, the girl would call Xu Qing, so the two gradually also became acquainted.

       Xu Qing is not as beautiful as her friend, but she also looks beautiful and delicate. At this time, she smiled slightly and stood at Xi Feng’s desk and asked, “Did you see the plants I gave you?”

       Xi Feng was taken aback when he heard the words, “You are the one who gave me this?”

       Xu Qing lowered his head to see him closing the plant by his feet, and quickly said, “Don’t put it there, there is no light at all.”

       Xi Feng had to take the flowerpot up.

       Xu Qing stroked the leaves, and said to Xi Feng, “Didn’t you ask about the plant on my desk before and said you want a pot?”

       Xi Feng himself almost couldn’t remember this matter, and now she mentioned it, he remembered the girl was also there at that time. Xi Feng was just trying to find something to talk to them, and were just mentioning it casually. But he didn’t expect Xu Qing to really take it to heart.

       Xu Qing smiled and said, “How about it? Are you going to invite me to a meal later?”

       Since the girl made such invitation, of course Xi Feng could not refuse. He could only smile and say, “Of course, I should.”

       Xu Qing is probably interested in Xi Feng.

       When Xu Qing left, someone sitting not far beside Xi Feng smiled and winked at him, but Xi Feng just barely smiled and was not very happy. At this time, he surprisingly found himself thinking about the fact that He Yunsheng wasn’t the one who gave him the pot.

　　In fact, Xu Qing’s circumstances are pretty good. Although she is not beautiful enough, it would be impractical for a young man like Xi Feng who just entered society, with no car and no house, to have to go after too beautiful girls. You can see that the girl before has kept calling him ‘Feng ge’ repeatedly only to walked cleanly after the internship was over, and didn’t have much contact with him.

       If Xi Feng is serious about having a relationship that might blossom, Xu Qing, a small family girl, is more suitable for him.

       For so long before, Xi Feng had repeatedly fought and failed on the road of love. Now that such a girl takes the initiative to express her affection for him, it stands to reason that he should not hesitate to try to get along with her for a while.

       He doesn’t know why, but Xi Feng is a little hesitant now, or it should be said that he is a bit absent-minded.

       They had meal at lunch, Xi Feng took Xu Qing a little farther away to a small restaurant where it was not easy to meet company colleagues, and the two of them had a meal in a good atmosphere.

       Xu Qing did not say anything explicitly, but her attitude was already obvious. She liked Xi Feng after getting along with him for some time. Although Xi Feng still looks a little fussy and is not economically stable yet, it’s only because Xi Feng is still young, right?

       When they went back after the meal, Xi Feng and Xu Qing went to the elevator talking and laughing. Xu Qing walked in front, and Xi Feng followed her. He didn’t see He Yunsheng was also inside the elevator until he got in.

       He Yunsheng probably came one step ahead of them, standing against the wall, and did not look at Xi Feng more.

       Xi Feng’s smile suddenly tightened up.

       Perhaps his expression was too obvious, Xu Qing glanced at He Yunsheng with some confusion, then asked him softly, “What’s wrong?”

       Xu Qing had never heard about the rumor of He Yunsheng had a crush on Xi Feng when she was an intern. Although she stayed, the rumor between He Yunsheng and Xi Feng has faded, so she didn’t know.

       Xi Feng shook his head when he heard the words, and said, “It’s nothing.”

       The elevator moved up slowly.

       He Yunsheng suddenly raised his hand to cover his mouth and coughed a few times.

       Xi Feng couldn’t hold back and asked, “Did you catch a cold?”

       He was caught in the rain yesterday. Although He Yunsheng came back to dry off and change his clothes, he was probably a little tired recently and his immune system was low, so he didn’t expect to catch a cold after he returned.

       After all, Xi Feng helped him out in the rain yesterday, and now he is expressing concern. Although He Yunsheng did not want to talk to Xi Feng, he still said, “It’s nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

       Xu Qing stood to the side, silently surveying the two of them, and seeming to find the atmosphere slightly awkward.

       The atmosphere was indeed awkward. Xi Feng found that He Yunsheng didn’t even look at him when he was speaking. He didn’t know whether he should continue speaking, so he turned his head and looked forward.

       The smooth inner wall of the elevator reflected the silhouette of several people like a mirror. Xi Feng looked at He Yunsheng in the mirror and wondered how they had come to this point.

　　If he really wanted to trace back seriously, he could probably only blame himself. But he will repeatedly make excuses for himself. For example, it’s because He Yunsheng didn’t confess about his sexuality at the beginning, or another example… It was because He Yunsheng was not honest about his sexuality when they just met. Because of these, if he knew earlier, he would have let himself and He Yunsheng make appropriate contact early on, so that they wouldn’t get to this point.

　　Thinking wildly in his mind, Xi Feng suddenly noticed that He Yunsheng was glancing at Xu Qing.

　　It was a look as if he’s evaluating her with some scrutiny. Why did He Yunsheng look at Xu Qing? If it’s an ordinary man there should be nothing wrong with looking at a woman like that, but isn’t He Yunsheng gay?

　　What is the meaning of that look? Could it be that He Yunsheng was looking at Xu Qing because of him?

　　Thinking of this, Xi Feng suddenly felt enlightened. Although He Yunsheng did not admit it, he was special to He Yunsheng all along, wasn’t he? He Yunsheng is fond of him, he felt almost certain of this.

　　But He Yunsheng still wouldn’t admit it.

　　It’s probably because he has hurt He Yunsheng, so He Yunsheng retracted his footsteps and refused to approach him easily again. Xi Feng didn’t remember what he did on the spring trip.

　　Even if what He Yunsheng said about him kissing He Yunsheng is true, it must be because he was too drunk and treated He Yunsheng as someone else or as a woman.

　　And when He Yunsheng hit him and provoked him, he must be afraid of being hurt again, right?

　　Thinking of this, the things that had been confusing him for a long time finally came to light. Xi Feng wondered how could he be gay? He would not like men, and if he hadn’t been so drunk that he was not conscious, he wouldn’t have kissed a man.

　　Well, it was him who was too rude at that time. Although He Yunsheng hid it from him, he was always the one who spoke badly first. He didn’t want to continue his awkward relationship with He Yunsheng, which would keep him troubled, and if he could, it would be better to deal with him as an ordinary colleague.

　　He decided to admit his mistakes first, apologized to He Yunsheng, and then tried to start a relationship with Xu Qing, so as to avoid rumors, and finally everything would be solved.

　　Having just made up his mind, the elevator reached the floor of Xi Feng’s office.

　　Xu Qing was on the same floor with him and said with a smile, “We are here, let’s go.”

　　Xi Feng glanced at He Yunsheng, and decided to look for him in the afternoon. He then left the elevator with Xu Qing.

---

*Ge = is the way of addressing elder brother or someone(male) older than you.
Notes:
That’s it. Xi Feng have an extremely low IQ. Or this is what most arrogant males think? That no means, shy shy no?
(┛✧Д✧[/mfn]┛彡┻━┻

Anyways, since I have finished roughly all the TLs for this series, I will increase the release to Monday and Friday~

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       After being helped back to the room, Xi Feng sat by the bed. After a few minutes, he got up and went out again. The colleague who stayed with him asked him where he was going, but he didn’t say anything, and just opened the door and left.

       Xi Feng went to the room where He Yunsheng stayed.

       He Yunsheng stayed in a separate room, and there was no need to explain the reason.

       He went back to the room and took a shower. Just when he was about to sleep, he heard a knock on the door.

       When He Yunsheng opened the door, he found that it was Xi Feng who was standing outside, and his face turned cold again.

       When Xi Feng saw him, he tried to go in without any extra words.

       He Yunsheng quickly blocked the door and asked, “What are you doing?”

       Xi Feng didn’t speak, but he squeezed He Yunsheng away with his height and walked inside.

　　He Yunsheng hurriedly tried to close the door, but Xi Feng raised his hand and blocked it by the door. The pressure was a little heavy. He Yunsheng was startled and did not dare to force the door shut again, and could only let Xi Feng walked in.

       “What are you doing?” He Yunsheng stood by the door and looked at him warily.

       Xi Feng’s face was gloomy, and after sitting down by the bed, he asked, “Don’t you have a crush on me?”

       He Yunsheng was instantly enraged, and sternly said, “Are you crazy?”

       Xi Feng said, “Or are you eyeing another newcomer again?”

       He Yunsheng stretched out his hand and closed the door. He doesn’t want anyone to hear what they were talking about. Then he walked up to Xi Feng and said, “What have you misunderstood?”

       Xi Feng looked up at He Yunsheng.

       He Yunsheng only wore pajamas after taking a bath, revealing a white neck and a wrist. His hair was a bit disheveled, falling down to cover half of his eyes.

       He suddenly couldn’t help but gulp. The wine he drank at night seemed to come up, burning his blood for a while.

       He Yunsheng was still not sure what was going on when Xi Feng grabbed his arm, rolled him over and pressed him on the bed, and kissed him on the mouth.

       Xi Feng nibbled on He Yunsheng’s lips for a while.

       Then He Yunsheng reacted and pushed Xi Feng away.

　　Xi Feng stumbled a few steps and hit the TV set behind him. After he stood firm, he pounced on He Yunsheng again, trying to kiss him while saying, “Don’t you like me? Why don’t you also let me try what it’s like to kiss a man.”

       He Yunsheng felt humiliated in an instance and stopped being polite with him, raising his foot and kicking Xi Feng’s lower abdomen.

       Xi Feng cried out in pain, took a step back and slid down against the TV cabinet, this time not getting up again.

　　He Yunsheng was gasping for air and lay on the bed for a while before he calmed down. He saw that Xi Feng had not moved, and he got up to see how he was going. He only heard Xi Feng’s low snoring when he got closer. He didn’t not expect that Xi Feng would actually fall asleep while sitting in front of the TV cabinet.

       He Yunsheng raised his hand and pressed his forehead, which was throbbing with pain. He Yunsheng sat on the edge of the bed and couldn’t help covering his face with his hand.

       He sat quietly for a long time before pulling himself out of the messy and depressed thoughts, he put down his hand and looked at Xi Feng.

       Xi Feng was already deep asleep at this time, and He Yunsheng could hear his snoring sound from some distance away.

　　He Yunsheng wanted to kick him to wake him up and tell him to go back, but he didn’t move even after being kicked. So in the end He Yunsheng could only drag him by the shoulders and let him lie on his side on the carpet, throwing a quilt over him and leaving him alone.

       When Xi Feng woke up the next day, he was the only one in the room.

       He was completely drunk last night, and his last memory is that he was drinking and suddenly went over to provoke He Yunsheng, and then was punched by him. Xi Feng raised his hand and felt a slight pain on his face.

       But why would he sleep on the floor now?

       He thought it was in his room at first, but he stood up and realized that it was not his original room. Because he was in a standard room with a colleague, while He Yunsheng was in a room with a king size bed.

       Xi Feng circled around in a somewhat bewildered manner and realized that not only did his cheek hurt, but his head was also hurting. In addition to the headache, his stomach also hurts. Reaching for his clothes, Xi Feng saw a bruise on his stomach, as if he had been kicked.

       After a while, He Yunsheng opened the door of the room from the outside.

       Xi Feng turned his head in surprise.

       He Yunsheng left Xi Feng in the room last night, and went to the front desk to open another room to sleep, but because it was too late, he didn’t pack the luggage, and it was left here.

       It was actually already late when he came. Originally, he thought that Xi Feng had left after he woke up, but he didn’t expect Xi Feng to sleep until now.

       Xi Feng was in a daze for a while, and asked, “Is this your room?”

       He Yunsheng didn’t want to talk to him, and walked directly into the room. He took out his travel bag and started packing things up.

　　Xi Feng didn’t understand how he would sleep in He Yunsheng’s room, but he still remembered that he did go to trouble He Yunsheng last night, and said something very inappropriate. He rubbed his sore forehead, and said, “I’m sorry.”

　　He Yunsheng stopped packing his things. Because he didn’t sleep well all night, his hoarse voice sounded even lower. He said, “I said I wouldn’t bother you again, can you please keep your distance from me?”

       Xi Feng was stunned.

       He Yunsheng continued to pack his things, and his movements carried some anger.

       Xi Feng raised his hand and ruffled his hair, “I drank too much last night. I was the one who was talking nonsense. I’m very sorry for the trouble I caused you.”

       He Yunsheng replied coldly, “Just don’t talk to me again in the future.”

　　Xi Feng froze in place, because He Yunsheng had never spoken to him in such a cold tone. He felt like he had been slapped in the face by the other party. He felt embarrassed and a little uncomfortable. He couldn’t help but say, “I was the one at fault before. I might have said something on the impulse and hurt you, but I don’t mean to say those things. I suppose even if we—” He paused, “It’s okay to be ordinary friends, right? Why do you have to be so stiff?”

       He Yunsheng had finished packing his things, and he said, “Psycho,” he walked out carrying the travel bag.

       Xi Feng was irritated by his words, grabbed his arm and pushed him against the wall, “What the hell do you mean?”

       After he finished his question, he suddenly noticed that He Yunsheng’s bed was flat and tidy, and there was no trace of it being used. For a while, a strange thought popped up in his head, “Where did you sleep last night?”

       He Yunsheng looked at him, “What does it matter to you?”

       Xi Feng couldn’t stop his thoughts, “Your voice sounds hoarse!”

       He Yunsheng’s anger rose up, he took a few deep breaths, suddenly sneered, and said, “I slept with someone else.”

       “You!” Xi Feng looked angry and disgusted.

       He Yunsheng continued, “What does it matter to you who I sleep with? Are you in love with me? Are you a pervert too?”

       Xi Feng was angry and anxious, “What nonsense are you talking about?”

       He Yunsheng seemed to poke his weakness, “You don’t like me? What did you do when you came to my room to kiss me last night? So you are also gay? I didn’t notice it for so long!”

       “Shut up!” Xi Feng said angrily.

　　He Yunsheng had never shown such a mean attitude. He found that he was overwhelmed by anger. Now all he can do is use the most ugly words to provoke Xi Feng, “Who was the one who pretended to distance himself from me while pretending to be crazy drunk in the middle of the night to harass me?”

       Xi Feng stretched out his hand and covered He Yunsheng’s mouth.

       He Yunsheng grabbed his hand and tried to move away, but he was not as strong as Xi Feng, so he could only stare at him angrily.

       At this time, Xi Feng felt the palm of his hand touch He Yunsheng’s soft lips, and the heat He Yunsheng breathed on his skin made him tingle all the way from the palm of his hand to his heart. Realizing that was in his mind, Xi Feng had a ghostly expression on his face, letting go of He Yunsheng’s mouth while pushing his shoulder and hurriedly ran outside.

       He Yunsheng was pushed down to the ground, and he sat up with his hands on the ground, and kicked the dressing table across to vent his resentment.

       He Yunsheng felt that the most regrettable thing he had done in his life was to allow Xi Feng to get close to his life at the beginning. He wished to be able to make this friend, but now he finally suffered from the consequences.

       After that spring outing, Xi Feng seems to have fallen into depression.

       He found that he was always brooding about what happened that day and what He Yunsheng said. Afterwards, he asked his colleagues who were in the same room with him and he was indeed the one who had gone out for the whole night without anyone knowing where he went.

       Then He Yunsheng didn’t lie. He went to find He Yunsheng, and he can’t remember what he did afterwards.

       What if he really kissed He Yunsheng? There was a panic in Xi Feng’s heart for no reason.

       Because of these uneasy thoughts, Xi Feng found that he paid more attention to He Yunsheng.

       He thinks about He Yunsheng almost every day, let alone falling in love. And so he has made a big mistake in his work.

       In order to make up for this mistake, Xi Feng had to work a few nights in a row.

       It had been raining that day, and it didn’t stop when he left the company after working overtime. As soon as he walked out of the company’s gate, Xi Feng saw He Yunsheng’s car parked not far in front of the gate. He subconsciously stepped forward and almost ran into the heavy rain, but soon realized what he was doing and stopped.

       Xi Feng didn’t bring an umbrella, and he planned to take a taxi home.

       However, after waiting for a while, he found that He Yunsheng’s car was not moving on the spot, and strangely enough, he was watching that direction. 

       Then, he saw He Yunsheng open the door and got out of the car.

       It was raining heavily outside, but He Yunsheng didn’t open his umbrella. He almost got soaked by the rain as soon as he got out of the car.

       Xi Feng looked at He Yunsheng blankly, not knowing what he wanted to do.

       Who knew that after He Yunsheng got out of the car, he went straight to the back of the car, bent down and started pushing hard. The car slowly moved towards the front with his push.

       Xi Feng realized that He Yunsheng’s car was probably broken down.

　　When he was thinking about what he was going to do in his head, Xi Feng had already rushed into the heavy rain. He ran towards He Yunsheng. He couldn’t step on the foot on the road, and almost slipped, and pounced on the rear compartment of He Yunsheng’s car, said to him, “Go back and start the car!”

       The rain was too heavy, and the rain entered his mouth as soon as Xi Feng spoke.

       He Yunsheng looked at him  in astonishment, but didn’t hear what he was talking about.

       Xi Feng spit out the rain and shouted again: “Go and hold the steering wheel, I’ll help you push the car!”

       He Yunsheng seemed a little hesitant, both of them were completely wet.

       Xi Feng shouted, “Go!”

       He Yunsheng then stopped hesitating, bypassed Xi Feng and ran towards the driver’s seat.

---

Notes:
( -“-)
Since wicia keep nagging me for another update, here’s additional update for this week
You might see something weird happened with chapter 4 post but it’s because I dumbly edited the chapter 4 instead of making a new post for chapter 5, sorry about that
Happy Halloween!

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