Chapter 1

       The night was quiet and the galaxy was bright. Outside the white gauze curtains that were gently blown by the wind, there was a sandy beach gently caressed by the waves. There were two empty goblets on the wine cabinet by the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the faint colour of the red wine still remained on the walls of the clear glass.


       On the huge European-style round bed, a naked man had his body spread wide to form big1big = 大, that character looks like a man spreading his body wide character. Upon closer look, his hands and feet were tied to the four sides of the bed legs by leather ropes. His body was covered with bright red marks, which were the marks of being whipped by something long and thin, and in some places, there were even beads of blood oozing out, which looked seductive and bewitching on his fair skin. The man’s face looked young, with a high nose bridge that outlined the contours of his face more linearly. At this moment, he was panting with his eyes closed, his red-scarred chest heaving violently.


       A pair of hands wandered over him, stroking and kneading vigorously to bring out the eroticism of it all. The bound man was not able to resist at all, and could only let the hands touch any part of his body. The moment his hand moved to his lower body, he opened his eyes.




       The voice was as cold as his ink-black eyes, without any hint of lust. The man who was holding the sensitive part between his legs was startled, and asked, “Are you calling it off?” The bound man looked expressionlessly at the ceiling and said, “You’re not good enough to turn me on, and I don’t want to waste any more time.”


       Such words obviously hurt the other man’s nerves. With a gloomy face, he rolled over and got out of bed, untied the knot tied at the foot of the bed, and then took off the black riding crop hanging from his wrist and put it on the bedside table. Before he dressed up and left the place, he dropped a sarcastic comment, “Is it because I’m not good enough, or perhaps the Young Master Xu libido’s level is too low?”


       Xu Ye, who was still lying in big character form without moving, frowned and closed his eyes tiredly.


       That was right.


       It was his problem.


       His repulsion of the opposite sex in relationships came from a few sexual encounters he’d had as a child. His father, Xu Ting, and his mother, Zhou Jia, got married because of the family business. They were model parents in front of others, but they got along coldly with others. Giving birth to him was just a task of carrying on the family line. Zhou Jia loved to travel and spends much more time going out with her male companion than at home. Xu Ting often found time to bring different women home. When eight-year-old Xu Ye came back from school, he looked up and saw his father pinning a woman on the french window on the second floor and making love to her. He was so terrified that his whole body stiffened and the flesh-on-flesh contact made him throw up. This scene then became his nightmare, which in turn developed into a psychological disorder.


       As he grew up, he found out that he had no desire for women. He tried to have a few girlfriends, and every time it came time to raise his gun he ran away. He tried psychiatrists, medication, and other methods, but he failed repeatedly, and he couldn’t even get an erection in the face of all kinds of women in bed.


       It was a wealthy second-generation surnamed Liu who brought him into the same-sex circle. At that time, Xu Ting’s catering business had already reached all over the country, and his fortune had soared. Xu Ye, who was a sophomore, also began to join the vanity fairs of these rich and young people to indulge in a life of luxury. These pampered sons of a wealthy family had a lot of games that trifled with the law, some Xu Ye couldn’t accept it at all and didn’t participate in it. Liu Jing was one of those who openly came out of the closet. He was a top2or gong and often had some beautiful men around him. After getting acquainted with each other, he saw that Xu Ye had no interest in women, so he simply tempted him to try men, and was even generous enough to send the boy with long eyelashes beside him to spend the night with Xu Ye.


       That night, the other party’s initiative made Xu Ye feel a different kind of excitement for the first time. He spent the night tormenting the long-eyelashed boy again and again, almost making the boy collapsed. When he sent him back to Liu Jing the next day, he blushed and apologized repeatedly. Liu Jing laughed loudly, patted him on the shoulder and told him not to be so violent next time. After that, Xu Ye often called him to play together.


       But soon, Xu Ye found that his desire was constantly declining. He even gradually lost interest in men. At that time, he had already graduated from university and joined Xu Ting’s company. He started as a novice and gradually took on important responsibilities.


       What really changed him was a video on someone’s phone at a party. The lawless young master tied up a subordinate who offended him with a rope and whipped him and took a video to show off.


       Strong rope, fragile flesh. The red marks of the whip, the whimpering neck.


       Xu Ye sat on the spot with a flushed face, looking at the blindfolded man on the mobile phone, a certain part of him sleeping between his legs under the table suddenly hardened uncontrollably. That night, he couldn’t sleep in bed at all, and he fantasized about being tied up. He took pleasure in this fantasy and then he was spent after getting some release.


       He began to actively initiate SM3Sadomasochism, and when he found himself craving it more and more intensely and relying more and more on pain for pleasure, he began to collapse. He felt like a monster, a pervert, a disgusting guy who needed to be abused to get off. He began to hate himself for it, but he kept on relying on the sensations and was unable to stop like he was on drugs.


       At this moment, Xu Ye was not only physically exhausted but also mentally. The man who left just now was called Camel, which was of course not his real name, but just his nickname in the circle. The relationship between Xu Ye and him lasted for almost half a year. He had a good touch, and he could satisfy Xu Ye at first, but then gradually lost his effectiveness, which made both parties completely exasperated.


       Xu Ye had gradually become numb to the pain, unable to get the pleasure he wanted. He was worried that if this continued, he would really become sexually impotent.


       He needed one last hope to clutch at.

This is my selfish personal project that I wanted to do for a very long time (while watching if there’s someone who would pick it up again in NU and I’m so glad no one decided to do it *cough*)
Some of you might have seen the unfinished translation of this somewhere else (me too) and the completed translation of book 3 in other site (check the main Surrender page for more info), but since I have a lawyer kink and one of the character here is a lawyer, so I decided might as well retranslate everything from the start since no one is doing the book 4 yet

So enjoy!

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  1. Zust

    Hi!! I can’t thank you enough for translating this novel. I love all four novels. 1/4/3/2 are my favs in order. Keep up with your hard work. I am camping here for all my life.

    • hoenimochi

      For me personally it’s 1>4>2>3
      I guess I don’t like the third so much coz it’s just borderline abusive and the kiddo being too possessive for his own good ._.
      But really, I’m happy to see someone like this novel as much as I do 😀
      I hope my translation suits you!


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