“I know I did something wrong, we all make mistakes. I watched him there for a long, long time, and when he decided to leave, I decided to stay and help him live his life and deal with everything after. Too bad, I do envy and yearn for his simple living environment, his parents and friends…”
As he saw Ji Qin’s hesitation in speaking, this ‘Ze’an’ also closed his lips slowly, as if embarrassed by the boredom.
Ji Qin was in a trance for a long time.
“It turns out that the real Ze’an is not you…” The whole thing was too unbelievable for him, and he was still digesting the first information he received, “Then when did you become… Ze’an?”
“After the car accident in the summer three years ago.” ‘Ze’an’ replied calmly, “Ah Qin, maybe you will think that I am cruel, but I have always regarded you as a very good friend, a family member even, but not a lover.”
“A lover is… that Ze’an’s wish, he has always, always liked you very much.”
“I just wanted to help him at first, but I made a big mistake.”
A self-righteous redemption that backfired and killed another man completely. The man himself was full of expectations for the world, and he watched, in the darkness, as the light in that man’s eyes brightened and faded until it finally disappeared altogether.
Ji Qin returned home.
He couldn’t quite recall the last exchange between himself and ‘Ze’an’. He just felt that his brain had been buzzing all the time. It must have been a dream, he thought.
It was so absurd.
He would go home, wakes up from a good night’s sleep and should be fine.
There was no sound in the house, and he suddenly recalled that every time he came home in the past, there was a person sitting on the sofa, as if waiting for him to come back. But he always had resentment towards that person, often ignoring the existence of that person, and went straight back to his bedroom.
That Ze’an seemed to always want to say something to himself.
He was a little dizzy, maybe because of exhaustion, or from a load of information he had received today. He deliberately wanted to forget those memories that he was afraid to look back on, and planned to go straight back to the house—and it was then that he suddenly noticed a letter on the living room table.
Intuition told him that the content of the letter was written by that Ze’an.
His actions were faster than his thoughts, and when he came to his senses, he had already rushed to the table and picked up the letter.
Ji Qin, Happy Valentine’s Day!
I’m sure by now, you must have had your wish granted and met the person you love and want to see the most.
I’m happy for you, really. In the past year, you have suffered a lot. I saw it all. I know that I can’t do anything well, and I can’t change anything. I’m actually very sad, I really tried many times, I want to be him, surpass him, (too clumsy. Don’t laugh at me when you see this).
But as you can see, there’s nothing I can do.
Bringing him back was the best choice I, personally, have ever made in my life.
There are many words of blessing, but I hope you can take care of your own body. Actually, I have secretly taken care of you many times. Of course, I knew that he would do better than me.
Jealously speaking, he does do a good job of being the ‘Zéan’ that everyone loves.
Since no one but you will ever find out that I exist, so I only prepared a gift for you, I hid it in his studio, the place you forbade me to go. Now you can’t control me either, can you?
Hope you will like it.
Anyway, it was nice to meet you that summer.
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