Chapter 1 – Most eligible widow-bachelor in the six realms

Chapter 1

 

Si Lan found himself inside an egg.

 

To start the story, it all began with a text message he received on his phone.

 

【I am the Path of Heavenly Cultivation. Send money to me, and I will help you unify the Six Realms. Bank account number: xxxx.】

 

He was half asleep and decided to play along by sending a small amount of money to the scammer. But when he opened his eyes, he was inside this egg.

 

He referred to it as a chicken egg, rather than a duck, goose, or dinosaur egg because he could always hear the clucking sounds of a mother hen around him.

 

His chicken mother was diligent and gave him “lessons from outside the egg” every day.

 

From the chicken mother’s incessant chatter, he roughly understood the world he was in. It was divided into six realms: Gods, Immortals, Demons, Monsters, Ghosts, and Humans, further classified into the five elements of Water, Fire, Wind, Thunder, and Earth.

 

He wasn’t particularly interested in the history of these six realms or their cultivation techniques, but he did remember all the strange stories.

 

Therefore, even as he remained a gooey mess inside the egg, he already knew about the many mysteries and eight trigrams of the Six Realms and Five Elements.

 

For example, the Heavenly Fairy Yu Hua once had an online romance that led her to meet a powerful cross-dressing Demon King. Upon meeting, Yu Hua discovered that the Demon King was even more imposing than she was, and this encounter traumatized her, making her fear men and leaving her with deep psychological scars.

 

Another example was the divine bird Zhu Xiao, who, despite her delicate and beautiful appearance, loved to practice with a war hammer instead of a sword. She did this because her mother, on her deathbed, told her that men would affect her sword-drawing speed. So, in front of her mother, she took up the meteor hammer and said, “Mom, rest assured, I won’t practice the sword anymore.”

 

Yet another example was the wild chicken named Luo Hui on the Flat-Top Mountain. While other chickens were busy hunting for bugs all over the mountain, Luo Hui understood the importance of class transcending. She saved a Nine-Heaven Divine Phoenix and, in gratitude, forced the Divine Phoenix to marry her.

 

The Divine Phoenix refused, so she used a clever tactic: she cooked raw rice into a ready meal, then presented the egg, successfully marrying him.

 

…

 

It goes without saying that the wild chicken named Luo Hui is his chicken mother, and the egg is Si Lan.

 

Not long after Luo Hui became a mother and the Divine Phoenix, Si Lan’s father, Si Shaoxun, suddenly fell into darkness.

 

The Nine Heavens’ lavish lifestyle that Luo Hui dreamed of suddenly vanished as she was forced to follow Si Shaoxun into the war-torn Demon Realm. Fortunately, Si Shaoxun quickly defeated the Demon Lord Chu Shanjun at the time, united the twelve peaks of the Demon Realm, and was crowned the Demon Emperor.

 

And then, Si Lan was born.

 

In theory, a child born of a Nine-Heaven Divine Phoenix and a wild chicken should at least be some sort of divine bird. Unfortunately, Si Lan inherited 100% of Luo Hui’s traits and was a plain brown chicken with no resemblance to a Divine Phoenix.

 

That day, Luo Hui, watching Si Lan hatch from the eggshell, jumped into Si Shaoxun’s arms and tearfully said, “A Divine Phoenix ruling the Demon Realm, exuding dominance, but a wild chicken ruling the Demon Realm? That’s just absurd. So, in order for our son to one day rightfully inherit your position, I want to conceal his true identity and claim he’s a young Divine Phoenix.”

 

Si Shaoxun remained silent for a while, then pushed away Luo Hui’s clammy hand and said, “Fine.”

 

She was overjoyed and used an illusion technique to transform Si Lan instantly from a wild chicken into a Divine Phoenix.

 

However, Si Lan felt that whether he was a Divine Phoenix or a wild chicken, it was good as long as he could crow. There was no need to fuss over it so much.

 

Unfortunately, he was just a little chick at the time, and his attempts to voice his objections came out as “cluck, cluck, cluck.”

 

His mother thought he was hungry and tossed a fat earthworm in front of him.

 

“…”

 

He didn’t succeed in his objections. The only time he managed to object was when it came to naming.

 

His mother hoped he would grow up to be someone who would correct his mistakes and have consistent words and actions, so she named him Si Guoyi.

 

“…”

 

He stretched out his chubby chicken claws and gestured a large cross in the air.

 

His mother vaguely understood what he meant, “Do you want to choose your own name?”

 

He nodded his little head, and his mother smiled.

 

“Alright, then you can pick your own name when Si Guoyi grows up.”

 

“…”

 

In the days that followed, Si Lan, like other little chicks, spent his early days in the Demon Realm on the Zhuyun Peak, almost forgetting his origins from the future.

 

Sometimes, when he woke up in the middle of the night, he even felt that his past life as a human was just a dream.

 

Just as Zhuangzi dreamt of being a butterfly[/mfn]A famous historical poem about life being a  dream.[/mfn], now Si Lan was a chicken dreaming of being human.

 

When he reached the age of one hundred and twenty, it was time for his transformation, and he took on a human form.

 

On that day, he looked at himself in the mirror. His new human form was identical to his previous human appearance, with some resemblance to his father.

 

It was then that he suddenly realized that he hadn’t seen his father in a long time.

 

His mother and his father, with their eight hundred schemes, had an eccentric marriage that had provided much gossip in the Six Realms over the years.

 

Some said that his father didn’t love his mother, that he was infatuated with the Divine Phoenix from Cang Mountain, but his mother had intervened, causing him a lifetime of unrequited love and misery.

 

They also said that his father didn’t love him, that his existence was the only stain on his father’s otherwise flawless life, so his father hadn’t paid much attention to him over the years.

 

Later, when his mother was injured by a divine miracle and on her deathbed, he held her in a rainstorm, trying repeatedly to heal her wounds, but they wouldn’t close.

 

The heavy rain washed away the blood, creating a river of crimson.

 

Finally, his father, Si Shaoxun, appeared, treading on the river of blood.

 

He expected his mother to complain, to be angry, but instead, with her last breath, she begged his father to ensure that his true form would never be exposed.

 

Si Shaoxun, in front of his mother, revealed his true form, personally severed his own phoenix wings, and attached them to Si Lan’s back.

 

His mother finally closed her eyes in peace. He didn’t understand why his mother was so insistent on hiding his true identity, but since it was her wish, he made an effort to do so.

 

For many years, he only consumed Divine Dew and Jade Elixir, wore Cloud Brocade and Flashing Silk, and landed on Qingtong Greenwood, carefully playing the role of a Divine Phoenix.

 

He also focused on cultivation and quickly became one of the top demon cultivators in the Demon Realm.

 

Later, when Si Shaoxun passed away, he thought of giving him his phoenix feathers, but he didn’t want to see his father in a vulnerable state. So, he politely declined, saying it was to allow his father to leave with dignity.

 

After his mother’s death, he harbored resentment toward Si Shaoxun for some time, until he discovered that the usually emotionless Si Shaoxun, on the anniversary of his mother’s death, lay under the large wutong tree on the Zhuyun Peak, complaining while hugging a wine jar, “You never really loved me. All you wanted was a powerful man to lay a powerful egg.”

 

He didn’t know whom to pity more at that moment.

 

In the end, he buried his parents together under the wutong tree.

 

In that year, he had just turned 120 years old, which was equivalent to a human child of seven or eight years old, and both his parents had left him.

 

—

 

At the age of 200, Si Lan reached adulthood. But in the same year, Chu Shanjun, the Demon Lord who had once been driven into hiding by his father, sent him a challenge.

 

He didn’t care much about the title of Demon Lord, but it was his mother’s lifelong wish for him to ascend to that position, so he couldn’t just give it away.

 

He accepted Chu Shanjun’s challenge but was tricked by Chu Shanjun during the battle, suffering severe injuries and falling into the mortal realm. This marked the beginning of a heartbreaking love that would span three centuries.

 

It was called heartbreaking because every ending was tragic.

 

The tragedy didn’t befall him; it befell his savior in the mortal realm, a woman named Lan Lan.

 

In the first life, Lan Lan saved him when he was severely injured, and she offered herself to him.

 

He thought that perhaps this was a pattern for men in his family; his mother had used a similar plot on his father. He agreed to Lan Lan’s proposal but insisted on first defeating Chu Shanjun. However, while seeking revenge against Chu Shanjun, he ended up severely wounded and unconscious.

 

When he woke up, fifty years had passed in the mortal realm.

 

Hastily, he went to the mortal realm to find Lan Lan, but she had already married someone else and had been a widow for many years. Lan Lan, however, was a person of honor, and when she saw him, she suggested continuing their past marriage agreement.

 

So, he picked a lucky day, sent a group of demons with drums and gongs to fetch the bride, and she arrived in the Demon Realm. On that day, the new bride had just arrived in the Demon Realm when a sudden gale arose, the earth shook, and the septuagenarian bride was blown onto a tall tree, where she breathed her last.

 

“…”

 

Because of this, he was depressed for many years. Later, he found Lan Lan in the second life, and their story continued.

 

However, this time, during their wedding night, after they had drunk from the ceremonial cups, Lan Lan inexplicably suffered from alcohol poisoning and passed away.

 

Upon investigation, it was revealed that while Lan Lan was a carp demon, she had a serpent lineage in her ancestry, and the ceremonial wine was mixed with male fern liquor.

 

“…”

 

Another hundred years passed, and he found Lan Lan in the third life.

 

This time, he decided to skip the traditional wedding proceedings and went straight to the wedding night. That night, just as he was about to discuss the meaning of life with his new bride, the bride unexpectedly encountered the inevitable Heavenly Thunder Tribulation that all demons faced.

 

The small bridal chamber was suddenly filled with lightning and thunder, and the bride was struck down in front of his eyes.

 

“…”

 

From then on, his reputation as the husband who killed three consecutive brides spread throughout the Six Realms.

 

Whenever the marriage rate in the Demon Realm was low or marital discord was high, news would spread that he was looking for a new bride, and demon realm girls would eagerly line up. Even widows would remarry, bringing peace to the Demon Realm.

 

At first, he didn’t care about these rumors because he believed he was cursed when it came to wives. His second and third wives were both reincarnations of Lan Lan, so technically, he only caused the death of one person, Lan Lan.

 

It wasn’t until the rumors reached an absurd level, with the palace maids blaming their headaches, stomachaches, and even irregular menstrual cycles on him, that he realized the problem had become serious.

 

He seemed to have become something extraordinary!

 

Unable to sit still, he decided to consult the divination expert, Bu Yigua.

 

On a sunny day, he gathered his guards, the twelve peak masters of the Demon Realm, and a group of brave and skilled warriors, and they all went to Qiangjue Mountain to see the divination expert and clear his name.

 

On that day, the divination expert told him, “Your fate is destined to be with a man. If you marry a woman, you will harm her.”

 

The divination expert also said, “That person’s fate and ill omens are connected to you.”

 

It sounded like he had said something important, yet said nothing at all.

 

Because, being demons, they all had some ill omens in their fate.

 

So, he cautiously asked, “Does that mean ten thousand male demons in the Demon Realm are my destined ones?”

 

The divination expert’s expression stiffened slightly, “You’re quite imaginative…”

 

“…”

 

“Never mind, I’ll be kind once more. According to the shell’s guidance, your destined one will be near Tianming Star in the near future.”

 

Tianming Star was in the center of the five directions, pointing to the Qiongsha Island in the Demon Realm. Qiongsha Island had been overgrown with weeds and desolate for thousands of years.

 

Why would his destined one be there?

 

He hesitated for a moment, then thanked the divination expert and flew to Qiongsha Island alone.

 

The reason he went alone was that his guards, the twelve peak masters, and the warriors had all scattered and fled upon hearing that he was destined to be with a man.

 

Even Song, the right guard who had been paralyzed for over a hundred years, was scared and ran off, carrying his wheelchair, saying as he fled, “Your Majesty, I can serve you with my life, but not my body!”

 

“…”

 

Tsk tsk.

 

—

 

Qiongsha Island.

 

He had searched for half a month, but unfortunately, during this time, he hadn’t found his destined one, or even a living creature that could breathe. After his third round of searching today, he still had nothing to show for it, so he put away his shiny phoenix wings and landed on a grassy field.

 

He hadn’t been fasting, and he still had his appetite. However, the Jade Elixir and Divine Dew in his storage bag had been consumed the previous day, so he had to find some food.

 

After searching for a while, he only found a small, limp, wrinkled, and almost sun-dried white worm. Perhaps he was a little lightheaded from hunger, as this unattractive worm suddenly looked appealing to him.

 

However, even though his true form was a wild chicken, he had never eaten insects in all his life…

 

Just as he hesitated, his stomach betrayed him with a loud growl.

 

Never mind, he thought. I’ll just eat something to calm my hunger now, and then I’ll have the strength to fly back later.

 

He had no intention of staying in this godforsaken place.

 

After searching for so long without finding his destined one, he suspected that the divination expert had deceived him.

 

He opened his mouth and placed the small white worm inside. Just as he was about to chew, the worm suddenly started struggling in his mouth, and he quickly spat it out.

 

After falling to the ground, the worm slowly changed, growing to the size of an adult male’s thumb, about seven inches long, entirely white but with a dull luster.

 

Si Lan hadn’t expected this little white worm to be a spiritual creature that could change its form!

 

Unfortunately, this spiritual creature was now running out of breath.

 

He picked up the small white worm, which was covered in white scales and had a tail like a thorn, and guessed that it might not be a worm but a small white snake.

 

Chickens don’t usually eat snakes; it goes against their nature.

 

But chickens do play around with snakes, and that doesn’t seem to be a problem.

 

So, on the way back to his palace, he bought some wolfberries and angelica, along with the small white snake, and brewed them into wine, which he stored in a white jade bottle before placing it in the wine cellar.

 

This trip to Qiongsha Island hadn’t been entirely in vain.

 

Upon returning to Zhuyun Peak, Si Lan announced that he would enter seclusion for an indefinite period. He did it not because he needed to cultivate but because the revelation from the divination expert that he was fated to be with a man had thrown the entire Demon Realm into chaos. People were reluctant to leave their homes, and this was severely impacting productivity.

 

To appease the demons, he declared an indefinite seclusion period, which, in reality, meant he would be sitting in the Seven-Stringed Cave, reading books and passing the time.

 

After reading all the books, Si Lan unexpectedly felt a bit sentimental.

 

Unknowingly, he had lived his demon life for over a thousand years, experiencing some ups and downs, as well as enduring the winds of gossip. While it hadn’t been full of excitement, it had been quite stable.

 

He had gone from being an ordinary demon cultivator to becoming the Demon King of the Demon Realm. According to the books, his life should be coming to an end.

 

However, he didn’t know that the real story about him was just beginning.

---

T/N: Hey there! Here’s a completely new series! AND OMG AM I IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY I HAD TO PICK IT UP AAAAA

I had such a blast translating this, hope you love dragons and phoenixes (or chickens lmao) cuz, oh my gosh I almost died of cuteness while reading about the ML. I almost exploded/ imploded asdfghkl

 

ANYWAY; it’s about to be one hell of a ride, I’m surprised no one’s translated this yet! It’s an absolutely must-read if you love dragons and funny stuff. The situations are all just so absurd.

 

If you like my translations, feel free to donate to my ko-fi!

I really, really appreciate all the support from my readers <3 It goes a long way and motivates me lots!

https://ko-fi.com/hoenibean

 

Also, check out the other series we have on HoH!

If you like cats, check out Revenge of the Garfield

If you like dragons, check out I’m Pregnant with the Hope of the Entire Planet and The Dragon and the ‘Princess’

How about some mystery or showbiz? Check out Morbid Addiction & Perfection

What about the perfect, most non-toxic male lead ever? Laws of Love

How about MC nursing ML back to health? Forced into the Deep

 

Thank you for all your support <3 Leave a comment if you like 🙂 I love reading them!