Day: September 3, 2023

Chapter 1 (part 1/2) – You don't know too much



Lu Changze guarded a black school bag in front of him as he walked through the crowded train with difficulty. He bought a regular ticket and the journey was long.


He was surrounded by people going back home just in time for the Spring Festival. There were a lot of people and on a journey lasting more than 10 hours, most had no more energy and had to find a place to rest, whether leaning or lying down.


Lu Changze had one hand on his school bag and the other was holding an instant cup noodle.

He was going to the other end of the carriage to get some hot water as he was a little hungry.


He hasn’t eaten since he got onto the train.


After finally getting some hot water, Lu Changze didn’t dare to fill it up too much. He covered the cup of instant noodles, turned around with difficulty and squeezed into the smoking area, standing next to the toilet.


It was a cramped place to eat noodles.


Lu Changze ate very quickly. He had to finish eating quickly. There were too many people in the carriage and most of the passengers were migrant workers. Some looked honest and some did not look like good people. He did not want to cause trouble, not to mention… There were so many people, so it was awkward eating slowly. In two or three bites, he finished the mostly-uncooked noodles.


It was difficult to throw the instant noodle packaging into the garbage bin.


After eating, he found a place where he could stand and barely squeezed in. There were other people’s luggage beside him, but Lu Changze did not mind.


He just hugged the black schoolbag in his arms tightly and leaned his dirty head on the shaking carriage as he watched the scenery whistling by outside the carriage.


Lu Changze is thirty-seven. A man of this age should have started a family long ago, but he didn’t. What Lu Changze has gained at this age are only the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes and a heart that no longer beats for any reason apart from sustaining his life, as well as the $150,000 of cash notes in his bag. That was all he had.


He bought a ticket at the station, but in fact Lu Changze didn’t know where he was going to get off. He didn’t know which city he would settle down in for the rest of his life.


The train is heading south. The further south, the hotter the weather, so the thick down jacket on his body is already starting to make him feel hot but Lu Changze didn’t want to take it off. It was too troublesome so he’ll just keep wearing it as he doesn’t want to move. It’s hard to even turn around in this place.


What’s more, he was carrying a huge sum of money with him.


The train came to a slow stop and Lu Changze looked out the window. There were few people on the platform. Not many people were getting off the train.


The small station didn’t even have a decent platform and through the simply built white platform signs, one could see the lush mountains and forests.


The train bell was already ringing and Lu Changze hurriedly squeezed out of the crowd. He got off the moment the train door closed.


I’m here, he thought.




When he got out of the station, he realised that the platform was really small. Xuan Qi was a city that hardly appeared on the map. He only took two steps when it started to rain again.


Lu Changze quickly put on his hat, but the rain was getting heavier and heavier so he had no choice but to find a nearby noodle shop. He sneaked in and ordered a bowl of noodles. He hugged his school bag as he ate, waiting for the rain to stop.


The noodles from the shop next to the train station were not good, and they were expensive. However, Lu Changze has always been a person who likes to get his money’s worth.


As such, he even held the bowl and downed the soup. When he put it down and looked at the empty bowl, Lu Changze sneered silently at himself.


The rain had stopped and the streets were muddy. There was a puddle of murky water and he stepped on it. His blue and white shoes had now become a pair of dirty black ones. He was speechless.


Walking down the street, Lu Changze looked up and around. The surrounding shops were disorderly and most of them were dilapidated. Especially after it had just rained heavily.


The other pedestrians on the street were in groups of twos and threes. There weren’t many cars. Most were probably at home and at around four or five in the evening, most shops will be closed

The lights of every residential building were now turned on. Over here, most people lived on the second floor of the shophouses, with the shops below.


Lu Changze stopped on the road. He looked at the house lights that were gradually increasing and was lost in thought. A line of lyrics suddenly came to mind, but he couldn’t remember who sang it.


Tens of thousands of lights. The more one sees, the more lonelier they will be.


He found a cheap, small hotel and paid for a room to stay in for a night. It cost 69 yuan a night. The room was barely enough to fit a bed and a small wall-mounted TV. There was also a tiny standing shower with half a mirror next to it. After entering the room and locking the door, Lu Changze heaved a sigh of relief before placing his backpack on the bed that he had been carrying for more than 20 hours. He then took off his dirty shoes and put on the dark blue plastic slippers that had been worn by countless people who had previously stayed in this hotel before taking off his down jacket.


His socks were already so wet and they could no longer be worn, so he simply balled them up and threw them into a garbage bag. He sat on the bed for a while, got up and went to the shower room to wash up. He tried to turn on the hot water twice but the shower was still more cold than it was hot. At least it was not too cold and Lu Changze was alright with it.


Turning around to take off his clothes, he froze when he saw himself in the mirror.


The middle-aged man in the mirror was very haggard, with chunks of hair sticking to his head. The lenses of his glasses were covered with dust and oil stains.


Lu Changze tried to show a flattering expression by smiling but the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes immediately became obvious.


Lu Changze was too used to this flattering and humble expression in the reflection. He has lived with this expression for thirty-seven years.


The corners of his mouth were raised even higher and Lu Changze laughed silently so much that he couldn’t straighten his waist. His hands were in the mirror and tears came out of his laughter.


When Lu Changze laughed enough, he slipped down and sat down on the ground. The bathroom room was too narrow and his falling body turned on the tap of the shower. The warm water completely drenched him from head to toe.


Before Lu Changze could close his laughing mouth, he was forced to take a big gulp of water, which made him cough.


After getting up and turning down the water, Lu Changze took off his wet clothes and threw them on the ground, humming a song while taking a bath.


After taking a shower, he simply wiped himself. Lu Changze looked at the wet and dirty clothes piled up on the ground and sighed. He only had one set of clothes.


Ah, there was nothing in this shitty hotel, so he won’t be able to dry his clothes before tomorrow after washing them. Lu Changze rubbed his hair vigorously with a towel and resigned himself to doing laundry using boiled water.


He wrung out his clothes and hung them in the small cabinet at the corner of the bed. After finishing, he picked up his school bag and fell asleep soundly.




Xuan Qi is a prefecture-level city and the city is very small. There were only three bus routes. Route one, two, and three respectively. The third route was considered a bus route but actually cost two more yuan.


It takes one and a half hours to drive to Pingzhou, a relatively large city nearby. Xuan Qi is actually a city under Pingzhou and taking route one or two will allow one to cross between the two cities.


Xuan Qi is still in early development and the pace of life here is very slow. Lu Changze was content eating takeaway and watching TV. 


He has stayed here for five years.


After staying in that small hotel for more than ten days, he purchased a small shop near the route one bus terminal. The shop was not very big, and it was roughly 20 square meters but Lu Changze was very satisfied. After he sold many orders, he made it into a small self-running shop and got a computer to be the cash register. He went to collect the money from the cash register every day.


He lounged around, watched TV, played games and surfed the Internet for the entire day while the small shop ran itself with about seventy to eighty people coming by per day.


After deducting the cost, he could only earn two or three meals a day, but Lu Changze is quite satisfied. As long as he didn’t starve to death, Lu Changze was living a pretty good life now and he was happy.


When it’s time, Lu Changze pulled down the shutter door of the shop and put the key in his pocket. He walked home slowly on a path diverging two ways. He walked to an old residential building and walked up to the third floor to find his house. Yes, the location of Lu Changze’s house was very convenient and close by.


He bought a small house and it was enough for a single man to live in. Lu Changze opened the door, changed his shoes, went in, lay down on the sofa, and covered himself with the blanket that was always on the sofa. The sofa was small but very soft. Lu Changze hummed twice in satisfaction and fell asleep.


When he woke up, he took his phone out and looked at it. At two o’clock in the morning, Lu Changze got up, turned on the light and opened the refrigerator to find something to eat. The house is small and there is no kitchen.


In the studio, there is only a small area behind the sofa for preparing food and eating.


Lu Changze rummaged for the only instant noodles he had left. He took out the pot and turned on the gas, tore open two packets and put them in. After beating two eggs, he put them in front of the pot.


He watched quietly. From time to time, he would use his chopsticks to stir them twice. The sound of gurgling in the pot was very random and it stood out in the quiet room in the middle of the night. Reassured, Lu Changze turned off the fire and started to eat directly using the pot on the wooden table in front of the sofa. The weather was a bit cold but the instant noodles were steaming.


The glasses Lu Changze was wearing were covered with white mist. He took off his glasses, took a big mouthful of noodles and stuffed it into his mouth to eat. After being hungry, his mouth was full of food. It was a very fulfilling feeling as the soft instant noodles could be swallowed without much chewing. Lu Changze finished it in two or three bites. In fact, he likes it

instant noodles.


Lu Changze put the finished entire pot and put it in the sink next to the gas stove before returning to nest on the sofa. He always eats cleanly, and only leaves some soup bases. It’s late at night, so he didn’t want to wash the dishes.


He took his mobile phone from the side and searched for a movie to watch. After watching it, the sky was bright. His days in Xuan Qi were very comfortable. There were a lot of movies and he had a lot of time to do what he wanted.




Lu Changze was sitting behind the cashier and catching up on a show. Aunt Liu who lived across the street came down to do some shopping and bought a bunch of things. Lu Changze

paused the screen and recorded the stock.


Aunt Liu is an old lady with a round face. She talks a lot. Every time she comes to buy something, she always hopes that Lu Changze can give her a cheaper price. This has been going on for a while.


Lu Changze would occasionally charge her less for a pack of vinegar and the two of them saw each other every once in a while. Seeing that Aunt Liu had bought a lot of beer, Lu Changze casually asked


“Aunt Liu, someone in town? Buying so much beer, will you be able to carry it?”


“Yes, don’t judge my appearance. I am strong!” Aunt Liu said while putting the alcohol in the canvas bag she carried with her, “You don’t know about it yet? I’ll tell you.”


As she spoke, she got closer and said mysteriously, “Our area is going to be demolished. I have a relative who works in a real estate company in Pingzhou. According to internal information, their company is responsible for the compensation for our demolition. I heard that the company is big and can pay a lot of money. Young Lu, don’t underestimate the small size of the shop. You’ll be able to make a lot of money by getting the compensation later!”


Speaking enviously, she looked at the small shop owner.


Lu Changze pushed his glasses up and helped Aunt Liu put the things into her bag, “It’s nothing to worry about. They said that they would demolish it last year but they didn’t. Aunt Liu, don’t take it too seriously. That’ll be 57 yuan in total.”


“Believe it or not, it’ll be different this time. My relative is still at my house and they were still talking about it today. I think it’ll proceed this time.”


“After two months, everyone will find out. Let’s not talk about it now. Get moving.”


Aunt Liu paid the money and took the things and went back beaming. Lu Changze took the

Money and placed it into the bag he always carried with him. He sat back in the chair and continued to watch the TV series, not taking Aunt Liu’s words to heart.


After spring began, Lu Changze found that more people were coming to this area. From a glance, one could tell they were not local. They came to judge and compare the houses here. They were the same people from last time and he now believes Aunt Liu’s words. It seems that this area is soon to be demolished.


It was completely dark outside but Lu Changze hadn’t closed his shop and went back home. Today, he watched the drama he hoarded some time ago and the plot was not bad.


He didn’t stop until he finished it. Usually, he closes at six or seven o’clock, but today it was way after ten o’clock. After watching the show, he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He got ready to get up and collect his money but saw someone coming in to get something out of the corner of his eye. The cash register was a bit tall, so he didn’t see it clearly.


The visitor took a bottle of mineral water and put it on the cash register without saying a word. Lu Changze stood up and looked down at the hand holding the water in surprise.


After the other person took the most expensive water in the shop, Lu Changze raised his head, “Four yuan…”


Their eyes met and Lu Changze was stunned.


Gu Xiu’s hand holding his wallet paused and he recovered after a while, “Lu Changze, I didn’t expect to see you here.” 


There were no ups and downs in his voice.


He took out a 50 yuan note from his wallet and handed it over. Only then did Lu Changze snap out of it. He took the money and put it in his bag. He then found some change and passed it to him.


Gu Xiu took the money but did not keep the coin that Lu Changze gave him. It was too troublesome to keep such a small change, so he put the rest of his change inside his wallet, took his water and left the small shop.


Lu Changze saw a car parked on the other side of the street with the light from the small shop to the door. It was dark and only the outline of the car could be seen. Gu Xiu got into the car and drove away.


Lu Changze withdrew his gaze, glanced at a coin left on the cash register, reached out to take it and put it in his bag. He then turned off the computer and lights, closed the door and went back home.


Gu Xiu drove the car a long way before turning around and driving back. By that time, the small shop was already closed. Gu Xiu looked at the small shop through the car window and smoked a stick of cigarette before driving away again.


Lu Changze came back and changed his shoes. He took off his coat as usual and lay down on the sofa. He put his arms over his eyes before getting up from the sofa after a while.


After entering the narrow bathroom and taking a shower, he lay down on the bed wearing a tank top and shorts, ready to go to sleep. However, he ended up tossing and turning until 4:00 in the morning, unable to sleep.


Unexpectedly, Lu Changze simply turned over and sat up, turned on the light, took the sketchbook beside him and started drawing.


After drawing, it was already eight o’clock the next morning. Lu Changze felt drowsy then, so he casually threw the book and pen on the quilt before lying down and falling asleep.


The store is closed today.


T/N: Happy Bad End Month! Here’s the second novel for September~

Special Thanks

That’s the ending of Morbid Addiction by Jin Gang Quan~
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Extra 4 – Childhood

       Ning Junyan’s recovery of memory was a gradual process. He would remember something one day and then remember something else a few days later.

       He found out that his name was not Yanyan but Ning Junyan. He also remembered his parents’ names and knew where his family lived.

       At that time, he could actually leave the place or go to the police, but he didn’t. He himself couldn’t explain why. It was no doubt his memory was gradually recovered, but the injury to his head hadn’t fully healed yet. He spent most of his time not thinking but staring at Chen Yuncheng in a daze.

       The most important part of his daily life was staring at Chen Yuncheng.

       Chen Yuncheng was still very thin at that time because he had been malnourished since he was a child. Chen Yuncheng looked small that Ning Junyan felt that he could lift him up and spin him around in the air. Chen Yuncheng’s hair had never been properly trimmed and was a mess, and his face was often not fair enough. Instead, his eyes looked bright, and his lips were red.

       Ning Junyan was already tall, taller than any boy his age, and no punks in the neighbourhood dared to mess with them anymore.

       Their foster mother was reluctant to buy clothes for them and later would not even get old clothes for them. Chen Yuncheng went to pick it up by himself, even stole a few pieces, washed them clean when he returned, and picked out the good ones for Ning Junyan to wear. Later when Zhou Yan came, Chen Yuncheng chose the good ones for Zhou Yan first, and Ning Junyan was not very happy about this.

       Ning Junyan felt indifferent most of the time. When he grew up, his foster father and foster mother started to be a little afraid of him. Only Chen Yuncheng was not afraid of him.

       Chen Yuncheng would urge him to take a bath when he didn’t take a bath for several days, cut his hair with scissors, and help him wash his clothes.

       Ning Junyan had long legs, and when the trousers Chen Yuncheng found didn’t fit his waist and legs, he even cut a section from other trousers and sewed it on for Ning Junyan.

       At night, the two of them huddled under the desk lamp. Chen Yuncheng held a needle and thread in his hand, but he couldn’t get the needle down for a long time, and he didn’t know how to do it himself, so he fumbled with everything.

       Ning Junyan got very close, but obviously, there was nothing to see, so he wanted to get close to Chen Yuncheng’s forehead to watch him sew his pants.

       Chen Yuncheng stretched out his hand to push him away and said, “You are blocking the light.” Chen Yuncheng’s voice had not changed yet; it was still the clear voice of a teenager, a habit he had developed since childhood, his voice was often not too loud, and the tone was always soft.

       Ning Junyan stepped aside to see him muster the courage to place the needle.

       Ning Junyan’s original pair of trousers were jeans, and the trouser legs that Chen Yuncheng cut out were also jeans, but the colour was slightly different. The important thing was that the size did not match, which distressed Chen Yuncheng.

       He didn’t think of any other ways, so he could only sew it up first. The stitches are messy, but he managed to wrap them around, making the stitching look even messier.

       “It’s too ugly,” Chen Yuncheng picked up the pants and showed Ning Junyan.

       Ning Junyan looked at it for a while, then nodded.

       Chen Yuncheng sighed, put down the trousers and said to Ning Junyan, “Just wear them.”

       Ning Junyan moved closer to Chen Yuncheng and rubbed his forehead to show that he agreed.

       The next day, Ning Junyan wore those pants and went out with Chen Yuncheng. He was taller now, almost in the shape of an adult, and could easily cause others to be wary, so when Chen Yuncheng went to steal things, he often asked him to stay away.

       Chen Yuncheng himself was not trying to steal anything. Ning Junyan saw that he often stood on the side of the street and looked at the crowd in a daze. Once he stole the wallet of a middle-aged woman. When the woman walked across the street and found that her wallet was missing, she looked around in a panic. Ning Junyan watched Chen Yuncheng keep looking at her, and after a while ran over and gave her back her wallet, saying something to her.

       The middle-aged woman took the wallet, opened it to have a look, and left quickly.

       When Chen Yuncheng returned to Ning Junyan, Ning Junyan asked him, “What did you tell her?”

       “I said I picked it up,” Chen Yuncheng said in a small voice.

       Ning Junyan didn’t say anything. He just felt that the woman didn’t believe it.

       At night, Ning Junyan lay on the bed and whispered to Chen Yuncheng, “Let’s go.”

       Chen Yuncheng asked him in a daze, “Where are you going?”

       Ning Junyan put his hands behind his head and said, “Go to a faraway place.”

       At that time, Zhou Yan was already living in the same room as them. Zhou Yan lay on his little bed every day and chatted with Chen Yuncheng for a while. Usually, when he was talking, Ning Junyan would not speak. Ning Junyan would wait until Zhou Yan fell asleep before he whispered in Chen Yuncheng’s ear.

       Both of their voices were very small, and they stuck close together when they spoke.

       “There’s nowhere to go,” Chen Yuncheng said. He had no home, no relatives, no idea where to go.

       Ning Junyan turned around and looked at him. With the light coming in from the window, he could barely see the outline of Chen Yuncheng’s face. His nose was small and straight, which made Ning Junyan want to take a bite.

       Then Ning Junyan really did it.

       Chen Yuncheng was taken aback, almost cried out, covered his nose and said, “Why bite me?”

       Ning Junyan said, “I want to bite.”

       Chen Yuncheng whispered, “It hurts.”

       Ning Junyan raised his hand to touch him as a comfort. He just wanted to bite him, and he didn’t want to really hurt him.

       Chen Yuncheng was silent for a while and asked Ning Junyan, “Do you want to leave?”

       Ning Junyan let out an “En”.

       Chen Yuncheng turned over, faced him face to face, and said, “But where are you going?”

       The word ‘go home’ was on the lips, but Ning Junyan didn’t say it.

       Chen Yuncheng said to him, “If you have a place to go, just go. I…won’t go.”

       Ning Junyan looked at him, “You’re not coming with me.”

       Chen Yuncheng said, “Foster father and foster mother have raised me for many years, and I don’t know where to go.” At this point, he was suddenly sad and reached out to hold Ning Junyan’s hand, “I will miss you very much.”

       Ning Junyan raised his arms to hug him, and Chen Yuncheng didn’t refuse. He got into Ning Junyan’s arms, wrapping his arms around Ning Junyan’s waist.

       Neither of them spoke, just hugging each other and sleeping all night.

       That night, Ning Junyan had some bizarre dreams. In the dream, he was still hugging Chen Yuncheng. Chen Yuncheng was very soft and well-behaved. His hair and skin were fragrant. He didn’t know what to do, so he hugged him. His favourite, Chen Yuncheng, rubbed his body.

       When he woke up the next morning, Ning Junyan felt wet and sticky inside his underwear.

       Chen Yuncheng was still hugged by him and felt something when he woke up. The two of them knelt on the bed, lifted the quilt, and saw that the bed sheet was also stained.

       Ning Junyan didn’t have any expression on his face, but his eyes were a little innocent, and he was looking at Chen Yuncheng without speaking.

       Chen Yuncheng had learned a lot of words in the past two years, renting fewer comics to read, and started to read novels secretly. He seems to understand what happened to Ning Junyan and stares at Ning Junyan’s underwear.

       Ning Junyan calmly pulled down his underwear to show him.

       Chen Yuncheng hurriedly told him to put it back on, blushed, and secretly glanced back in Zhou Yan’s direction. When he saw that Zhou Yan was still sound asleep, he got out of bed and went to find clean underwear for Ning Junyan to put on.

       The two of them squatted in the yard, washing sheets early in the morning.

       The foster mother got up and saw it and wanted to come over to ask a question, but seeing Ning Junyan’s gloomy expression, she went directly to the kitchen from the side.

       After washing the sheets, Chen Yuncheng also washed Ning Junyan’s underwear and hung them in the yard.

       Zhou Yan, who had only just woken up at this time, came over and asked curiously, “Why are you washing the sheets so early?”

       Chen Yuncheng shook his head, “It’s nothing. You should go have breakfast.”

       Zhou Yan was a little scared of Ning Junyan and saw Ning Junyan sitting beside Chen Yuncheng, so he went to the kitchen alone.

       Chen Yuncheng came back to Ning Junyan and sat down with him.

       “What did you dream about?” Chen Yuncheng suddenly became curious.

       Ning Junyan didn’t answer. He turned his head, looked at Chen Yuncheng’s red and transparent ears, recalled the dream last night, and wanted to hug Chen Yuncheng in his arms again.

       Chen Yuncheng didn’t know what he was thinking, so he laughed.

       Ning Junyan said at this time, “I’m not leaving.”

       Chen Yuncheng looked at him in surprise, “Why?”

       There was no reason. Ning Junyan felt that he had to look at Chen Yuncheng, and he couldn’t let Chen Yuncheng leave his sight.

       Chen Yuncheng lowered his head, and after a while, he said sullenly, “Wait a little longer. If you remember where your home is, you can return, okay?”

       Ning Junyan didn’t tell him that he had remembered.

       Chen Yuncheng said softly, “I’m actually a little selfish. I don’t want you to go.”

       Ning Junyan looked at Chen Yuncheng’s side face. Chen Yuncheng woke up in the morning and had just washed his face carefully. His skin was not fair, but it was clean and even-toned at this time. His cheeks looked tender, and his lips were moist and red.

       I want to kiss.

       Ning Junyan’s thoughts began to wander, and while listening to Chen Yuncheng’s words, he recalled last night’s dream.

       Chen Yuncheng continued, “Actually, it would be better for you to leave here, but then I will be the only one left. No, there is also Zhou Yan.”

       Ning Junyan thought to himself: Zhou Yan is nothing!

       Chen Yuncheng said, “But you and Zhou Yan are different.”

       Ning Junyan was a little happier.

       Having said that, Chen Yuncheng stopped, propped his face with his hands and looked forward.

       Ning Junyan raised his hand and touched his lips with his fingers.

       Chen Yuncheng asked strangely, “What’s wrong?”

       Ning Junyan didn’t say anything and put his hand back to his side, thinking that it was really soft, and then thought, So be it.


The author has something to say:
That’s about it, right

Junyan is mad possessive of Yuncheng from the start, eh? lololol
I tried to schedule the last episode release at the same time when I started posting Perfection
It’s been a solid two years since I first posted Perfection, and it’s a wild ride for me, and I’m always happy to see familiar names commenting here, those who read my translation when I was just starting. I know I didn’t translate as much and as fast as I used to, but I’m really glad that you guys are patiently waiting for me to finish everything.
This sounds a whole lot like a farewell message, lol
But I will still try to look for another Jin Gang Quan’s novel to translate~ Drop some JGQ novel recc you want me to translate~

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